Aired 7-29-19
I’ve been out of the MLW loop for some time, so while reviewing this show it’ll also be a testament for anyone curios about MLW about how easy – or not easy – it is to jump right in to the storylines. I literally know nothing about the product right now, so this should be interesting…
-Salina De La Renta opens the show cutting a promo on Mance Warner. He apparently “got lucky” against one of her guys so she’s brought in Bestia 666 to settle up. Casually slipped in by the ring announcer, this is apparently going to be a Death Match! Seems a little odd to open the show with a Death Match… especially a show with Jim Cornette at ringside, but hey I’m along for the ride.
Bestia 666 vs Mance Warner
“Southern Psycho” Mance Warner out now who’s graphic says “Lariats and Light Beers”. Doesn’t sound very imposing, but we’ll see. I mean, if Brock Lesnar wants to start painting his fingernails I’m not going to say a whole lot. Maybe Warner gets a pass here, we’ll see.
Good brawl that felt like was on a budget. They did the corner table spot with a piece of wood, I actually lol’d when Warner pulled a tiny box of thumb tacks out of his pocket and shook it like a box of tic-tac’s like the crowd was going to mark out. Nobody knew what they where dude… Bestia picks up the win after a Salina distraction and a nifty Muscle Buster across two chairs.
Breath Mint?
I’m kind of torn on Bestia 666… part of me feels like he looks like a star, the other part of me feels like he’s a Poor Man’s Vampiro which are three words I never thought I’d say…-Cut to the parking lot, we’ve got an (Casey) asking a The Dynasty about a video that was posted online about one of their guys getting into an elevator with a girl. They dismiss the question and blow her off with a “no comment”. These guys look like stars, but I don’t know who they are. They’re holding tag and singles gold we’re told. Obviously moving an angle along, but with no recap it’s a little confusing.
-Contra Unit cuts a promo against Chicago. Last time they were in Chicago the crowd pelted them with garbage. They promise to “beat the hell out of those stupid Von Erich’s” for every piece of trash thrown in that ring tonight. He ends with “believe in the Contra Unit, because we don’t believe in nothin’! We’re just here for the violence” What an odd tagline… I’m disappointed in MLW for this.
Ricky Martinez (w. Selina) vs Low Ki
Martinez, who we’re told is on a losing streak, wants this match to prove his worth to Selina. Konan on guest commentary, has a secret about Selina. Haha! How simply intriguing! I love it. They had a basic match. Martinez passed out in a dragon sleeper, so while the losing streak continues he didn’t tap. Low Ki was either phoning it in or is just getting old. Low Ki matches used to be a guilty pleasure of mine, so I was really looking forward to this match, and he just looked so heavy. “The Man That Gravity Remembered” or something, but he used to be so fluid. Not tonight. It wasn’t ~bad~, it just wasn’t the same.
The match itself was an afterthought. The focus was on Martinez’s recent losing streak and falling out of Salina’s good graces, until Konnan revealed that he had stolen Selina’s cell phone that he claimed had “triple x photos and incriminating emails”. I’ve never heard anyone refer to anything as “Triple X” in the real world, so this was a little awkward. Konnan teased Selina with her phone like I tease my kids with their favorite toys “…you want this? I’m gonna throw it away” – “No!!! Don’t!!!” Post match Konnan asks if we saw how upset Selina got when she saw he had her phone, “so you know the dirt I’ve got on her is legit”. Do we? Or did you STEAL HER FUCKING PHONE? The info can’t be that crazy, she seemed to forget all about it after the match and tried to (re?)hire Low Ki who blew her off.
Fun stuff, but it didn’t play out very naturally.
-Von Erich promo/hype package next. Man… these guys have the look, but they can’t cut promos to save their lives. I know they’re new, but damn… they tried to make this a monotone/serious thing, but it was painfully obvious here that they had to. “Contra Unit, you think you’re gonna run through MLW like a couple of bulls… well? We’re cowboys and we work with cattle, we’re fixin’ to slow them down.” Please get these boys a mouthpiece… this was bad.
-Kotto Brazil promo. Not sure of the back-story here, but they showed a tweet about him being upset with officiating. Didn’t catch the names of the other two guys, but they were skinny and didn’t have shirts on. They squeaked about justice. I’m not impressed yet.
-Filthy Tom Lawler promo. He’s hyping up his rematch with Jacob Fatu. Great promo! He’s going to war with Contra Unit inside The War Chamber, which explains why he was cutting this promo on the other side of chain link fence. Great promo that was ruined for me in the execution. The entire time he was gripping the fence, he bit it… you know, like he was trapped behind it, good stuff for the match. Then the sliding gate opens and he just walks through it to finish up, which was fine, but he was walking backwards dramatically at the end, while the gate was closing. It looked like we caught him getting locked out of the arena, which ruined the vibe for me. After that Von Erich cringe-fest, this was a refreshing cleansing of the pallet.
-Revisiting the Dynasty video from earlier. THIS time we’re told the girl getting into the elevator with the Dynasty guy is David Hart Smith’s sister. I mean, if this weren’t my first time through I might know that, but they probably should have brought that up the first time… SERIOUSLY all I needed to know and I can piece the rest of what I missed together. Anyway, after getting “no comment” earlier, Casey tracks down Davey Boy Jr and Teddy Hart to show them the video. The video makes Davey very angry and he storms out of the bar. Looking forward to where this goes!
Main Event Time!
Contra Unit (Simon Gotch and Josef Samael )vs The Von Erich’s (Ross and Marshall)
Contra Unit out first. They’re doing the Dudley bit where they’re yelling a lot and challenging fans to get into the ring. I’ve been wondering what happened to Carl Gotch… he apparently shaved his carnival mustache and got into cocaine and politics. Neat!
Von Erich’s out now. I like their look! A good throwback to their lineage, Marshall is in a cowboy hat and barefoot like his dad. He’s got enough pads and protection though that it’s not awkward (looking at you, Matt Riddle) while Ross by comparison reminds me of Kerry with the “movie star looks”. Von Erich’s jump the bell with a couple of Iron Claws and we’re underway!
This was a good fun brawl. The Von Erich’s have been under speculation that they might be green in the ring. They are. But they’ve got the charisma (in the ring, NOT on the mic) to make it work for now. Between the Von Erich’s wild punches and Gotch blending in some technical stuff, this encounter was really fun and easy to watch. The finish was a really neat spot where Samael tried throwing a fireball at Marshall but Ross blocked it with a chair, used the chair and got the pinfall.
Contra Unit continued to brawl with the Von Erich’s after the bell. MLW sent out a Riot Squad to break it up. This seemed a little over-the-top silly to me. I get that they’re trying really hard to get Contra Unit over as this menacing force, but they just lost their match, even post match wasn’t a beat down – the Von Erich’s where holding their own. I get they needed separated, but a RIOT SQUAD??? Memes aside, that escalated quickly. There’s a Riot Squad trying to get Contra Unit to the back, The Von Erich’s are in the ring posing… I don’t know, it just didn’t seem that serious. Backstage, Fatu starts beating up the Riot Squad and anyone else he can get his hands on. Tom Lawler runs in and starts wailing on Fatu, Von Erich’s in the back now trying to restrain Tom and we go off the air.
Bob-O’s Takeaways:
GOOD: Before I start bitching, this was a great show and a good alternative product I encourage any fan to check out. The storylines seem simple and easy to follow with a low learning curve. Going into this show blind, I don’t feel like at any point I was completely lost (unless there was some justification of bringing in a Riot Squad in prior weeks), and I’m looking forward to the next episode.
BAD: They’re a little over-produced. Their production is out of the park in terms of quality, but there’s little things that expose the budget that would be easy to cover up. Any time they showed Cornette and the other announcer (didn’t catch his name), the announce desk was a rats nest of wires that looked very minor league. Put that shit under the desk! It’s 2019 anyway… what are all those chords even for? A couple of laptops should be enough to view the cameras… this just looks bad.
Where's Cornette supposed to take his notes!?
Opening Match
Main Event
BAD: Sadly, Contra Unit. I get what they’re going for, and this is the definition of forcing your angle in a good way. These are absolutely the wrong guys for this spot, but MLW going all in on this angle is going to make it work. Gotch looks bored. Samael LOOKS the part, he says all the right words and cuts a great promo, but looked so lazy in the ring that I have a hard time believing they’re taking over anything besides a bar stool after the show. The living embodiment of Rollins and Ambrose starting their match with a collar and elbow, Gotch and Samael just aren’t intimidating enough to pull this off. The ring announcer is bigger than them… there was a point during the post match brawl that they punked the ring announcer, and I was like “Dude… he could beat the shit out of both of you…” and I shouldn’t be thinking that.
GOOD/BAD: The commentary. I love the throwback of Cornette doing color, and the play by play guy was awesome. That said, there was a noticeable and painful gap between how they sold the things that were happening and what was actually happening. During the Mexican Death match, Cornette kept saying how it was “TOO violent” these guys are going “TOO far”… it wasn’t though… we’ve seen this before, it was actually quite tame. I said my piece about Contra Unit, so the announce team trying to sell them as this insane out of control force was a little annoying. They just lost in under 10 minutes, to a fairly new team with ease. I appreciate the pinfall finish to the main event, but they should have skipped that part and gone straight to the brawl/riot squad stuff. It would have put some value to what the announce team was selling.
