BRM Reviews PWG Astonishing X-Mas

[Big Red Machine]

PWG Astonishing X-Mas (12/16/2005)- Hollywood, CA


Welcome back to BRM’s Monthly “This Day in Wrestling History” Review Series! I’m forgoing all of the usual teases and theatrics and recaps of last month’s choice because it’s the holiday season and we’ve got f*cking KANYON on an indy show! What better gift could there be than PWG Astonishing X-Mas?

TIME IS WASTED WITH SANTA CLAUS GIVING OUT GIFTS- Did this really need to go almost five minutes?

ALEX SHELLEY vs. SCOTT LOST- 7.25/10
An excellent technical start to the show, although Alex Shelley’s need to stop and express shock after every kickout got pretty annoying pretty quickly.

RONIN & NEMESIS vs. TOP GUN TALWAR & QUICKSILVER- 6.75/10
Solid tag team wrestling.

SCORPIO SKY vs. COLT CABANA- 5/10
In what might well be the worst kayfabe performance of Scorpio Sky’s career, poor Scorp got completely taken apart by Colt Cabana here. First Colt got under his skin with all of his usual irritating antics, then he completely dissected his leg until Scorpio couldn’t fight anymore and got pinned while in a kneeling version of the figure four. This was like a twelve-minute squash without ever actually feeling like a squash.

JACK EVANS & RODERICK STRONG vs. 2 SKINNY BLACK GUYS (Human Tornado & El Generico) (w/Jade Chung)- 8.75/10
An absolutely BRUTAL match. Jack was great in his role as the guy in peril on his team (not actually sure what the face/heel alignments here are, if there even were any) and everyone else was just BRUTAL to each other. This was action-packed, full of athleticism, and extremely exciting. Roddy in particular looked like a total beast. Jack took a scary tumble on the finish, which was even scarier when he landed near (and hopefully not on) Human Tornado’s head.

JOEY RYAN PROMO- good
His comment about this title reign defining his legacy was pretty true for about the next ten years or so. Then he started using the magical powers of his penis to flip people around and now that’s all everyone talks about.

PWG TITLE MATCH: Joey Ryan(c) vs. Chris Kanyon- 6.75/10
Kanyon definitely still had it at this point, but this did start to drag a bit. The story was them kicking out of everything while still teasing and teasing the Kanyon Cutter so that you would think that would be the finish but Joey then kicked out of that, too. The finish saw someone come out in a Mortis costume and try to attack Joey to get Janyon DQed but Kanyon stopped the mystery person from doing so, but this allowed Joey to roll him up for the pin. I wasn’t a fan of this, but it did at least set up a mystery storyline that we can now follow along with.

SAMOA JOE vs. DAVEY RICAHRDS- 6.25/10
This was an odd match in that I loved most of the action, but it was one of those matches where the young guy takes everything the veteran has to give and keeps kicking out and kicking out and makes his big comeback and maybe he wins or maybe he doesn’t but he still proved himself… except without the comeback. Davey took everything Joe had to offer and kept kicking out and kicking out and the fans got behind him… and then he just wasn’t able to kick out anymore. It wasn’t exactly a squash, but it was definitely a dominant win for Joe. Davey got over by showing his toughness, but he never got that “oh my G-d this kid might actually pull this off” moment, either.

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS, B-BOY, PETEY WILLIAMS & ALEX KOSLOV vs. FRANKIE KAZARIAN, TJ PERKINS, CHRIS SABIN, & ROCKY ROMERO- 7/10
Much stuff happened. Most of it was wrestling, some of it was goofy. It went well over twenty minutes.

GUERRILLA WARFARE MATCH: Super Dragon vs. Kevin Steen- 9.5/10
When Cero reviewed this show, he called this match “probably one of the most violent Guerrilla Warfares in PWG.” I lend my full support to that assertion. This wasn’t just violent and brutal, but it was violent and brutal in a very visceral way. Chunks of this match (especially their initial brawling on the outside) felt pretty much like they were real. They did a hell of a job of escalating the violence throughout, to the point where I was legitimately worried for Steen’s health, even though I’m watching this fourteen years later and know that he’s fine. The finish was utterly terrifying. The only real downside to this match was the fact that it definitely dragged on longer than it needed to. Other than that, this was INSANE, to the point of being truly scary.

KEVIN STEEN EASTER EGG POST-MATCH PROMO- awesome
To watch this, highlight the pair of handcuffs on the main menu of the DVD. He vowed that PWG hadn’t seen the last of him, then went back to PULLING THE THUMBTACKS OUT OF HIS HEAD.

This was a great show from PWG, with a bunch of solid matches of various types supporting two matches you really should go out of your way to see. PWG’s holiday-themed shows once again come through for BRM’s Monthly “This Day in Wrestling History” Review Series. We have one more left, but we won’t be watching it next year. Yes, like a good booker, I’ve got sh*t planned out far in advance, and have something else from my shelf in mind for next December. As for next month, we’re covering our first Royal Rumble, but the thing that really drew me to this show is that it has a singles match that contains possibly the most intriguing clash of styles in WWE history.

[cero2k]

TIME IS WASTED WITH SANTA CLAUS GIVING OUT GIFTS- Did this really need to go almost five minutes?

time is never wasted in PWG, they don't have a limited time set

[Big Red Machine]

TIME IS WASTED WITH SANTA CLAUS GIVING OUT GIFTS- Did this really need to go almost five minutes?

time is never wasted in PWG, they don't have a limited time set

MY time was wasted.

[cero2k]

MY time was wasted.

you have the power of 'fast-forward'

[Big Red Machine]

MY time was wasted.

you have the power of 'fast-forward'

Except that I don't know what's coming so I don't want to miss what might be a funny line to justify things.