BRM Reviews the 1/21/2017 ROH

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 1/21/2017 ROH

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 1st, '17, 01:01

SCURLL & OSPREAY VIDEO PACKAGE- great!

JONATHAN GRESHAM vs. MARTY SCURLL- 5.25/10
The match was fine for the time it got, but I thought that Gresham got in WAY too much of the offense for the debut of a guy who is supposed to be a huge star.

JAY LETHAL & JAY BRISCOES TO HYPE UP THE DECADE OF EXCELLENCE SEMI-FINAL MATCH- good promos, but I HATE it when they take two promos and cut back and forth between them. This was better than most, but I would much rather just see one promo and then see the other.

DECADE OF EXCELLENCE TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINAL MATCH: Chris Sabin vs. Christopher Daniels (w/Frankie Kazarian)- 6/10
Oh my G-d that f*cking “TEN!” chant NEEDS TO STOP RIGHT NOW! If you are chanting “TEN!” and Tye Dillinger is not in the ring, you’re not being smart or cute or funny; you’re being a f*cking asshole and should be kicked out of the arena.
The match was fine for the time it got. There was one spot that I really didn’t like, which Sabin having the advantage while they were out on the floor but instead of following up on Daniels he went to go yell at Kaz- who was just sitting there calmly doing commentary- and sarcastically ask him if he was planning on interfering in the match. Then, when Sabin finally went over to follow up, Daniels had recovered enough to toss him into the barricade and take over. Although technically nothing illegal happened, this made Daniels’ win feel less than clean, when there was absolutely no reason to do a spot that would create that feeling.
Daniels helped Sabin up after the match and gave him a handshake and a hug, continuing his face turn.

THE BULLSH*T CONTINUES- Sullivan, Whitmer, Martinez, and Corino are huddled around a trash-can fire like a bunch of hobos trying to keep warm. Corino has apparently joined them. Who is filming this, exactly?
Stuff was said, but I couldn’t understand 99% of it because these pointless, idiotic sound-effects that they put in were too loud. I rewound it and put my ear right next to the speaker, only to learn that I would have been much happy if I hadn’t.
Corino says that it took him too long to realize that it really wasn’t about him at all, but rather about “keeping the spirit out of this company.” Well if that was your goal then mission accomplished because the spirit of this company is pretty much dead right now, and this angle is a huge part of what has killed it.
What Corino means by “the spirit,” I assume, would be the spirit of Dusty Rhodes. You know… because whether or not Dusty’s ghost is going to show up in ROH is something people give a sh*t about. Actually, with all of the pointlessly dirty finishes to protect babyfaces for absolutely no reason whatsoever, maybe the spirit of Dusty Rhodes has already started to haunt ROH.
Sullivan then tries to- console Steve, maybe?- by saying something along the lines of “you kept wanting the answers before I was ready to give them to you.” (I’m not going back and watching this yet again to get the exact quote, because if I do I’m not sure I’ll be able to resist the urge to punch my TV.) What the f*ck is that sh*t supposed to mean? I hate this stupid, cryptic bullsh*t… and that’s what this all is: cryptic bullsh*t. If it was really that f*cking important to Kevin Sullivan to keep the spirit of Dusty Rhodes out of ROH and he needed Corino to do, WHY DIDN’T HE JUST F*CKING SAY SO?! Why did he spend months telling Steve to abandon his family and not answering Steve’s questions and all of this bullsh*t? Because then we wouldn’t have been able to drag this stupid bullsh*t out for six months of no answers and repeating the same f*cking segment on almost every house show where Corino is given the spike of evil and almost stabs some jobbers but decides not to, and we could have brought Cody in in August when everyone else was starting to use him instead of waiting until December when he had already worked for every other company of any note in North America, but I’m sure we can all agree that actually moving this angle forward quickly would have been much worse than months of bullsh*t that goes absolutely nowhere. Good job there, Delirious. I’m glad you were spending time on that instead of booking stories for the entire undercard.
Then it got EVEN WORSE when Kevin Sullivan said that he now needed Steve to go “bring me the golden one.” You know… Dusty’s other son: Dustin. AKA Goldust, who is under contract to another company, and even if he weren’t, he’s almost fifty and has spent the past fifteen years being portrayed as a complete and total joke on national TV. Then they all laughed evilly in the corniest manner possible.
So anyway, this all seems to indicate that Cody is the babyface, but if he’s a f*cking babyface then why the hell is he a heel in all of his matches?!
F*ck this bullsh*t. I am hereby calling on every ROH crowd this year to chant “FIRE DELIRIOUS!” between matches on every show until this stupid angle is stopped or his incompetent ass is fired.

WILL OSPREAY vs. DRAGON LEE vs. KUSHIDA- 7.25/10
Okay, that triple pose was just one step too far for me. Other than that, this was just a fun spotfest. It was enjoyable to watch, but… well… I finished watching it five minutes ago and I’ve already forgotten who won. I want to say KUSHIDA, but that might just be because I’ve had his music stuck in my head since his entrance.

The other thing they did during this show was show us clips from the ROH World Title change at the Tokyo Dome. The problem is that they showed very sort clips, and they showed them right after coming back from the commercial breaks, so by the time you saw the next one you had already forgotten what had happened in the previous one. Even worse, the clips weren’t even connected parts of the story, so showing the first two was basically irrelevant.

Another disappointing show from ROH.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Kevin Kelly- “Many people say the Ring of Honor Championship was made for Christopher Daniels.”
No, Kevin. No one says that. Or at least not anyone with any level of knowledge about the promotion. In kayfabe, this statement makes very little sense. I guess you could interpret this as meaning that “spiritually” it seemed like Daniels should have had a run with it at some point, but that’s not actually true in kayfabe because for the first two years of ROH, DANIELS WAS THE TOP HEEL, AND HIS GIMMICK WAS THAT HE OPPOSED EVERYTHING THAT ROH STOOD FOR!
Outside of kayfabe, everyone who knows anything about it knows that the plan was never for Daniels to have it, but rather for Ki to lose it to Xavier, and the heat would be in the fact that the fans would see Xavier as being unworthy and thus boo him, whereas Daniels might well have gotten cheered out of respect for being such a top-level worker.

2. Kevin Kelly- “Sabin, who is equally tenured- almost equally tenured- to Daniels in Ring of Honor.”
Wrong again Kevin. Counting this match right here, Sabin has a total of fifty-nine matches in ROH, spread of fifty-seven different events. If we’re being really generous, we’ll give him credit for some shows I know he appeared on but didn’t wrestle, which probably brings us up to sixty-five at most. Daniels, on the other hand, has wrestled TWO-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT, over the course of about TWO-HUNDRED AND FIVE SHOWS!
I understand if you are saying “oh come on, BRM! How is Kevin supposed to possibly know ridiculous statistics like that off the top of his head?” I had to look this all up myself. But the reason that I knew that Kevin was dead wrong and that I therefore I should go look up the numbers is because I know ROH’s history well enough to know that in addition to debuting almost a year and a half before Sabin did, that both guys left at the same time (when TNA pulled their talent after the RF incident) but while Daniels returned in mid-2005 and was a regular for the next two years (when TNA pulled their talent against due to ROH getting a PPV deal) Sabin only appeared on about three shows during that time, and while I know that Sabin did get to appear on a handful of shows in 2008 and Daniels didn’t, I know that Daniels returned to ROH after he left TNA in April 2010 and stayed through June 2011, while Sabin only appeared on about three shows during that time. Then factor in that Daniels returned to ROH after leaving TNA again in June 2014 while Sabin only returned to ROH at the beginning of 2015. The point being, that if Kevin Kelly- THE LEAD ANNOUNCER- had any knowledge of the history of the product and a little bit of common sense, he would have known that this statement was false and never would have uttered it!
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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