BRM Reviews the 1/25/2019 ROH (very, very bad)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 1/25/2019 ROH (very, very bad)

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 1st, '19, 13:14

P.J. BLACK vs. JUICE ROBINSON- 6.25/10
Nick Aldis joined Ian and Colt on commentary because he is defending his NWA World Heavyweight Title against P.J. on an upcoming episode of ROH. What started off like it could be a good match ended when P.J. Black got himself disqualified for throwing the referee into the ropes. Then he punched the referee. Then he had a confrontation with Magnus, but backed off when Kamile stepped in front of Magnus. I’m sorry, but Kamile does not look like the bodyguard type. She has muscles, sure, but not enough to make me think that P.J. Black has any reason to fear her.

JUICE ROBINSON PROMO FROM DURING THE COMMERCIAL BREAK- He complains about the lack of honor in a DQ win, says we’re going to be a seeing a lot more of him in ROH in 2019, and promises that there will be “new life breathed into Ring of Honor.” This was a good promo that foreshadowed the coming of LifeBlood while managing to seem relatively innocuous at the time it was cut.

KINGDOM PROMO- They cut a promo on Villain Enterprises while Taven pushes his angle with Jay Lethal as well. Taven was very good, O’Ryan was fine, and Marseglia was terrible. His body language is that of some trying way too hard to come across as weird, so he just winds up looking goofy instead. He threatened to cut PCO up with his axe. Why does no one in the company ever show any sort of concern about this?

SHANE TAYLOR vs. MIKE LAW- squash
Caprice Coleman replaced Nick Aldis on TV. He and all of his colleagues were WAY too over top during this match, which thankfully only lasted about thirty seconds.

SHANE TAYLOR PROMO- He says that he took Daniels out on his own, not because he got paid to.

FLIP GORDON & KENNY KING SEGMENT- okay
Colt Cabana interviewed Flip Gordon. Flip first cut an extremely boring promo to sum up his feud with Bully Ray. Then, in a voice that was only slightly less boring, he said he was going after the ROH World Title. This brought out Kenny King to inject some actual life into this segment.
Kenny told everyone that he was the last person to pin Jay Lethal and brought the tape of him doing so at Global Wars Tour 2018: Day 4. Of course, Kenny’s footage would always zoom in on Lethal’s shoulders and thus wouldn’t show what Tod Sinclair saw in the ring that day- and what the rest of us saw when we watched the show- which was that Kenny’s feet were on the ropes.
Kenny said that he was the only one who deserves a title shot and said some mean and hurtful things to Flip. The one that got the big gasp was saying that Flip joined the Army Reserve because he wasn’t brave enough to fight on the front line. While this is a terrible thing to say to someone, I kind of don’t care because of the way Flip allowed the American Flag to be treated at Final Battle.

Now it’s time for our advertised main event, which is an…

ROH WORLD SIX-MAN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Kingdom(c) vs. Villain Enterprises- LOL just kidding. Of course this match didn’t happen. Matt Taven is involved, and he is apparently allowed to do whatever the f*ck he wants.
Taven says that Villain Enterprises don’t deserve a title shot because they’ve never even teamed together in ROH before and thus can’t possibly have done anything to earn a title shot. Well management obviously doesn’t feel that way. Taven has the right to criticize the decision and complain about but, but refusing to defend your titles should be a forfeit loss, and titles can change hands via forfeit.
Taven says he has found replacement opponents to give Villain Enterprises the chance to prove themselves: the undefeated Shinobi Shadow Squad. Everyone just seems to go along with this (aside from Ian Riccaboni) , including management… so if management agrees with Taven then why did they book Villain Enterprises to get a title shot in the first place. THIS SH*T IS SOOOOOOOOO DUMB!

VILLAIN ENTERPRISES vs. SHINOBI SHADOW SQUAD- DUD!
This was a squash match that went over ten minutes. It got boring as hell after a while. Shinobi Shadow Squad’s undefeated streak gets tossed away for no reason.

WACKY BULLY RAY VIDEO- He’s sitting outside and burning something, interspersed with slips of him getting beaten up in his I Quit Match against Flip Gordon. If it’s not all of his wrestling gear then I don’t care.
Eventually he began repeating “I never said ‘I quit.’” Oh goody. This boring-ass story has to continue with what is either Bully turning into a delusional heel or a situation where ROH’s Senior Referee managed to f*ck up in a match that ONLY HAS ONE RULE IN IT! Explain to me again why TV time, money, and mental effort are being wasted on this fat old hack?

A VERY BAD episode of ROH. One that reminded me why I stopped watching the TV in the first place.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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