ROH Mass Hysteria (7/21/2019)- Lowell, MA
ROH WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Briscoes(c) vs. the Bouncers- 6/10
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- good
The Guerrillas of Destiny attacked the Briscoes from behind and beat them bloody. Props to Ian Riccaboni for pointing out that the Guerrillas of Destiny are full of crap when they say they don’t care about the ROH World Tag Team Titles because if they did, they wouldn’t be here attacking the Briscoes for winning those titles from them. In another good commentary bit, Colt Cabana was notably anti-Briscoes, reminding us that they have been heels for a long while now. Ian adequately defended himself by saying that he was “flying the ROH flag,” so he doesn’t come off like a hypocrite but Colt’s reminder about the Briscoes’ affiliation is still effective for the audience.
The Briscoes were actually distracted by the Guerrillas’ entrance video playing, but the Guerrillas of Destiny came out of the crowd from behind them… which means that someone in ROH production is in cahoots with Bullet Club.
JIMMY PRESTON & JARED SILBERKLIDE PROMO- These guys are total goofball cartoons, but were over with the local crowd.
CHRISTIAN CASANOVA vs. JIMMY PRESTON (w/Jared Silberklide)- 4/10
Preston jumped the bell on Casanova. This was fine for the time it got. Casanova was decent. I never want to see Preston and Silberklide ever again.
SILAS YOUNG vs. P.J. BLACK- 6/10
Silas wins in a shockingly clean fashion. He then says that “there isn’t another technical wrestler in the world who can test the ‘Last Real Man.’” I am interested to see who they are building up to Silas facing.
#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: Tasha Steelz vs. Karissa Rivera vs. Angelina Love (w/Velvet Sky)- 4.5/10
Kelly Klein replaced Colt Cabana on commentary for this match, as we were told that Colt was going to go try to interview Silas. Velvet insisted on doing Angelina’s ring intro, which was the second time in just four matches that we’ve seen that gimmick tonight. Unlike with Jimmy Preston and his manager, Velvet doing it here was actually relevant, as she insisted on referring to Angelina as the “rightful #1 contender.” Angelina cut a good promo on Tasha Steelz goading her into putting her #1 contendership on the line in this match. Tasha responded by saying “you’re on, puta!” at which point Bully Ray ordered security to escort her to the back so he could give her a talking-to.
This was fine for the time it got. Tasha won clean to retain her title shot.
POST MATCH SEGMENT #1- good
Velvet sprayed hairspray in Tasha’s eyes, then Angelina hit Tasha with a Botox Injection. Kelly Klein left the commentary position to run the heels off, and the showed Tasha respect. Tasha pulled Kelly back a bit after the handshake, which did a great job of establishing her as this fearless if slightly undersized babyface.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT #2- snore
Maria Manic used her magic to teleport into the ring. She beat up Karissa Rivera, as well as Sumie Sakai when Sumie tried to make the save. I have absolutely no interest in this magical teleportation go-nowhere squash-monster because those have never turned out well under Delirious’ booking.
KENNY KING vs. DRAGON LEE- 7.25/10
Dragon Lee, the babyface, kicked Kenny King in the nuts for absolutely no reason, and right in front of the referee. Somehow this wasn’t a DQ. On the bright side, unlike in other promotions, the announcers all agreed that this was BS and that Dragon Lee had done a bad thing and gotten away with it unfairly.
These two had a great athletic match. Kenny King picked up the win after timekeeper Amy Rose distracted Dragon Lee on his behalf. After this the announcers began to call for her to not be allowed at ringside without a manager’s license… which should have been the case well before this, as it was clear that she was in cahoots with Kenny during the whole “blindness scam,” and yet somehow it took until now for the announcers and the company to figure out that having her at ringside risks her interfering?
ROH WORLD TV TITLE MATCH: Shane Taylor(c) vs. Eli Isom- 6.75/10
Cheeseburger came out to ringside with Isom but then went to the back before the match. Colt Cabana was extremely annoying on commentary. He could barely get through a sentence without starting to laugh.
The match was a very good monster heel vs. underdog babyface match. The only real strike against it is the fact that after Isom’s big kick-out that brought the fans to their feet, Taylor immediately clotheslined him and hit his finisher for the win instead of them trying to build off of the momentum behind Isom at that moment. Taylor let us know that he was now thirty-three title defenses away from breaking Jay Lethal’s record. I highly doubt he’ll get close to Lethal.
LIFEBLOOD (Mark Haskins & Bandido) (w/Tracy Williams) vs. VILLAIN ENTERPRISES (Marty Scurll & PCO) (w/Flip Gordon)- 8.25/10
This was originally supposed to be a six-man tag for the ROH World Six-Man Tag Team Titles but “Flip Gordon was unable to be cleared by the state of Massachusetts.” I’m not sure if this was a work and they set out to do the bait-and-switch from the beginning (which would be bad) or if Flip reinjured himself last night (which would be less bad in that they didn’t purposely rip off the fans, but also makes me wonder why they booked an eight-man tag the night before six of those guys were facing off in a six-man tag title match).
These guys picked up right where they left off last night having an awesome tag team match. The more I think about, the more I realize that matches like these have been a major factor in my enjoyment of the past few ROH shows as compared to the past few years. Over the past few years, matches like this- a bunch of great workers working second, third, or fourth from the top just plain weren’t given time to go out there and really deliver, whereas now are being given that time. The show doesn’t feel like eight matches of 12-14 minutes followed by a main event but rather like everything is being given the time it needs to deliver without adherence to some ridiculous, generic, dry formula for a show.
DALTON CASTLE vs. RUSH- 7/10
The story of the match was Dalton doing vastly better than he did the last time these two met when he was embarrassed in a matter of seconds. Dalton actually controlled a good portion of this match… but once things started going downhill for him, he got frustrated (or, as Ian Riccaboni wonderfully phrased it, “gave up on himself”) and hit Rush in the nuts for the DQ. Dalton also attacked Rush with a chair after their match, setting them up for what would become a no DQs match between these two at Summer Supercard. (Of course, Dalton does have a right to be frustrated because Rush threw a garbage can at him that hit him in the face, which should have been a DQ but wasn’t.)
THE KINGDOM vs. ALEX SHELLEY, JAY LETHAL, & JONATHAN GRESHAM- 8/10
Excellent six-man tag team action. Everyone looked good here. Even Vinny Marseglia. Shelley made O’Ryan tap to build him up for his ROH World Title match at Summer Supercard. The announcers pushed that Shelley showed no ring rust despite his large amount of time off.
Another great show from ROH. Not as good as last night, but still a very enjoyable watch with some solid booking and a top three consisting of two awesome matches and one great match setting up a great angle afterwards. The build to Summer Supercard has been quite good, and I will hopefully have that show watched within the next few days. My goal, ambitious as it is, is to be all caught up on ROH by the end of the day on Labor Day. Thankfully ROH has been making that rather easy for me by putting on such great shows.
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