BRM Reviews 3PW That's Incredible

[Big Red Machine]

3PW That’s Incredible- (8/16/2003)- Philadelphia, PA

RICKY VEGA vs. CJ O’DOYLE- 4.75/10

JOEY MATTHEWS & MATTHEWS MINIONS SEGMENT- Striker is dressed like the Masked Superstar. Matthews says that Matt Striker doesn’t deserve the cheers he gets from the crowd because he hasn’t been in the business for long enough. Hopefully this leads to a Matt Striker babyface turn.

ROADKILL vs. ROB ECKOS (w/Joey Matthews & Matt Striker)- DUD!
They do a lot of gaga and Roadkill gets some offense in, then Roadkill gets pinned after just one move (a top rope DDT that really looks like it was supposed to be a Superplex but they couldn’t Roadkill over for it).

JOEY MATTHEWS vs. MIKE KRUEL- 6.25/10
I think Matthews wanted the mic before the match but the ring announcer wouldn’t give it to him. Anyway, a good, technical match between these two which that bastard Joey Matthews ruins by cheating at the end. GRRR! It makes me so angry!

THE SANDMAN vs. “THE PIT BULL” GARY WOLFE- 2/10
Sandman cuts a drunken, worlds-slurring promo in which he says that he didn’t bring his Singapore Cane to the ring because going to actually WRESTLE tonight. He offers Gary a beer before the match, but Gary jumps him. They fight for a bit and use some weapons until Sandman wins with a random roll-up.
After the match, Sandman is attacked by an unnamed blonde woman who does a horrendous-looking clothesline after a handspring. The woman then lays some weak boots into Sandman while Gary lays in some boots that actually look like they hurt. Gary gives Sandman a Death Valley Driver onto a steel chair.

Rockin’ Rebel comes out and cuts a promo trying to assure Monsta Mack that he will be a suitable replacement for Mafia. He tells Mack “you can trust me.” From anyone else, this would be corny, but from such a dedicated and yet completely lame and cheesy heel like Rebel, it has a sort of charm that makes it fun.

NICK BERK & DAMIAN ADAMS vs. ROCKIN’ REBEL & MONSTA MACK- 4.25/10
I think this went on a bit too long before Rebel eventually turned (as we all knew he would), but it wasn’t unenjoyable.

THE BLUE MEANIE vs. “HOT STUFF” STRIKER (w/Rob Eckos & Joey Matthews)- oodles of fun!
After the match, the heels beat Meanie down, but Roadkill comes out to make the save. Matthews bails while Roadkill takes out both Eckos and Striker. Meanie then makes a challenge for the next show (3PW’s first and possibly only attempt to run outside of Philly, which would be cancelled): Matthews and his Minions vs. Meanie, Roadkill, & Christian York.

THE SUGAR SHACK WITH JASMIN ST. CLAIRE & TOD GORDON-
Tod is introduced as “’the Walking Erection’ Tod Gordon. I shared that with you all because I should not have to be the only one to suffer from the horrible visuals this conjured up.
Tod and Jasmin read some more letters, taking jabs at Francine and Rob Black (this letter was hilarious) before being interrupted by George Frankenstein (WCW’s Gorgeous George). She immediately gets into the ring and she and Jasmin share the tradition skanky greeting of rubbing vaginas together (I swear I’m not making this up).
Now, you may have heard of bookers abusing their power by putting the title belts on themselves, but Tod has taken this to a much creepier level by booking himself to get a handjob from Gorgeous George. Jasmin and George fight over whose sugar daddy Tod will be and have a cat fight. This results in Tod making a bra and panties match for the next show, and he will be the winner’s sugar daddy.

JOSH DANIELS vs. KID KASH- 5.25/10
The match was going well until Kash, who had been getting frustrated, low-blows the ref, causing a DQ> At least it builds to a rematch.

3PW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Terry Funk(c) vs. Justin Credible- 4.5/10
Nowhere near good enough for a main event. The finish comes when Terry is angry about a count so he hits the ref with a stunner, then eats a Superkick from Justin, and the ref is right back up and counting the pin less than a minute after taking a full-on stunner from one of the wrestlers.

Another very bad show from 3PW. Thank G-d for Matt Striker.