NWK reviews Wrestlewar '91

[NWK2000]

The State Patrol and Big Cat vs Tommy Rich, Ricky Morton, and Junkyard Dog for the WCW 6-Man Tag Title
-Jesus, Junkyard looks fat
-What kind of gimmick is the State Patrol
-Dusty Rhodes tried to tell us that the State Patrol (two former police officers) had been arresting people even though they're former State Patrolmen. Isn't that kind of illegal?
-Junkyard Dog proceeded to no sell one of the State Patrol and throw the worst punches I've ever seen
-The State Patrol pulled off a cool looking backbreaker/headbutt to the gut combo
-We learn that Arn Anderson is injured and won't be wrestling in the War Games match, but repping the Four Horsemen in their corner, being replaced by Larry Zbysko
The finish was confusing, as Junkyard Dog hit the Thump, got it broken up at 2, and then Morton jumped in and got the pin despite no tag.

3.15/10, would've been lower if not for innovative moves by the State Patrol also Junkyard Dog is the worst worker.
York Foundation promo, crap gimmick, and Terry Taylor had the right to complain about the Red Rooster, but not this?
Brad Armstrong vs. Beautiful Bobby.
-Road Dogg gets mentioned, as he was fighting in Desert Storm at the time
-It makes no sense for Bobby Eaton to be From the Dark Side
-HE HAS RAINBOW TIGHTS WHY
-I've never seen anyone counter a slingshot suplex with a suplex, cool.
-Brad Armstrong always had the coolest leg sweep>
6.75/10, really good technical match.

Miss A and Miki Hundah (?) vs Itsy Yamaskiggi and Maami Kitumura
-This one girl has a sword, cool
-They should've just cut Dusty's mic, Christ

6.25/10
Missy Hyatt goes to interview a "babe"

Dustin Rhodes vs. "The Nature Boy" Buddy Landell
-Dusty claims you have to be born with the ability to do the 10 punches in the corner thing

2/10
Missy Hyatt goes in the locker room and get chewed out by Stan Hansen and Tony Schavone laughed about it.

The Royal Family vs The Young Pistols
-The Young Pistols (Tracy Smothers and Steve Armstrong) are clearly caring this match.
3/10

DDP promo
Apparently he dooped Teddy Long into something with the Freebirds, and Teddy cane in and ranted

Terry Taylor w/Alexandra York vs The Z-Man No DQ Match
-It's hard for me to take tha almighty computer seriously when it's clearly an Alphasmart and not some sort of super computer
-Lots and lots of rest holds
-Terry Taylor chokes Z-Man with a cord, and when the referee admonished him Terry shouts "What are you gonna do disqualify me? Awesome.
-Am I the only one who thinks the "preventing staggering backward into the sunset flip" spot is really dumb?
-The York Foundation computer doesn't even have number keys on it. How can you input data without number keys?
-Terry's full nickname is "The Computerized Man of the 1990s" who books this crap
5.25-10 for some subtle nuances

Paul E Dangerously comes out in what appears to be a matador outfit
Paul E tells us that he works for immigration and all the illegals in Arizona are under arrest? El Gigante comes out. Paul tries to make El Gigante run through his bull cape, Paul calls him a jerk and says, "You Latin people always look behind me" what? Also that El Gigante is a specialrefereee and that all Latin people lie and steal, he throws his hat at El Gigante after trying to get him to NOT be a ref for Sting/Flair, and gets slammed for his trouble.
Interview of some NJPW rep and Mita
The rep says Muta will beat Sting, and Muta sprays his mist.

Stan Hansen vs Big Van Vader
-I always thought Vader's headgear was super awesome
Vader stiffs him with about the sickest Lariat I've ever seen
-Stan hits Vader with one of those chairs you see in elementary schools and it looked like it hurt.
-Stan just dropped his knees right into Vader's side and it looked brutal.
-The match ends in a double DQ, but the two still go at it.
6.95/10
Dan Spivey vs. Lex Luger for the US Title.
-Mehhhhh
-3.5/10 desperately trying to make Luger the new Hogan and failing
Nikita presents Luger with the new belt but hits him off the stage with it and comes out of retirement.
The Freebiirds vs Doom
-There's this Big Daddy Dink dude that DDP employed to manage them for this match
-Good babyface in peril stuff, miscommunication by Doom and Dink pushing Garvin into the pin
Reed turns on Simons

7.5/10

They keep saying "More on Superbrawl" but then they just play the same commercial with the date.
Ric Flair came off the top rope on Saturday Night with a knee drop on Pillman and it looked great
So many Wargames rules guhhhh. So it's like a not hardcore Lethal Lockdown
WAR GAMES
Brian Pillman, Sting and the Steiners
vs
Flair, Windham, Sid, and Zybysko
-Pillman did two really cool spots righ away, jumping to the cieling and doing a Hurricanrana and dropkick
-Pillman is super over, so the crowd was hot from the time Windham got opened up and when Flair was being dastardly and trying to break Pilman's injured shoulder, despite the fact that it looked like a neck shot.
-Sting hits a huge shoulder block from across one of the rigns on Zybusko which looked good.
-Popped for the running kick to the nuts by Flair on Rick Steiner
-Now that I think about it, this may have been the one War Games match that could've benefited from a babyface advantage, as people woulda popped to see Pillman doubleteam Windham.
-The camera literally panned to Sid and Rick Stiener talking over a spot at one point,
-Quadruple Figure 4 spot!
- Sid spiked Pilman on his head with the Powerbomb, asked if Pillman was okay, spiked him again, and ended the match.
-Pillman being carried by El Gigante out was also a nice babyface moment.
8.25
So, for the exception of two matchess that weren't shit, one of which didn't get a true ending (Vader Hensen) one above average match (Armstrong/Eaton) the PPV was kinda crap, and since Jim Herd was producing it kinda makes sense.

[Big Red Machine]

-Terry's full nickname is "The Computerized Man of the 1990s" who books this crap

Someone living in 1991.

[kirbs2002]

-Terry's full nickname is "The Computerized Man of the 1990s" who books this crap

1991, wasn't that Dusty booking?