NWK reviews Chi Town RumbleTh

[NWK2000]

This being 1989, we get the MOST 80s intro ever.
Jim Ross and Magnum TA are our commentary team tonight, and we get a highlight video package for the night with music from heavy Synth and drums, and with transitional effects that would make a fourth grader's powerpoint presentation blush. The highlight of the video is Ricky Steamboat holding his son, who's wearing a matching gi.

Micheal PS Hayes cuts a promo hyping up the event, not even mentioning his opponent, Russian Assassin #2
They're building it like a USA vs Russia match. Yeah, who better to rep the US than a dude in a giant confederate flag robe?
Micheal Hayes vs Russian Assassin #1 (who Jim Ross called #2) w/Paul Jones
Russian Assassin didn't even get an entrance, which makes sense because he has beer belly.
-Huh Not going under the leap frog
-Jim Ross compares Hayes to Charles Manson, like he's some psycho
-OFF THE TOP ROPE PAWNCH by Micheal Hayes
-Assassin isn't facial selling at all, like he's in an armbar just looking disappointed
-Micheal gets thrown out of the ring, no sells it and punches the Russian after running back in.
-Paul Jones can't decide whether he wants his suit jacket on or off.
-All the Russian has done is hit punches and kicks
-Never mind
-Micheal Hayes hits a corner clothesline, turns his back to the Assassin, and the Assassin just hits him in the back of the head.
-Micheal Hayes sold the shit of being thrown out of the bulldog.
-6.25/10 for a solid opener.

Ricky Steamboat w/ wife and kid Alright, trying to be working man's hero, but cutting a really bland promo.

Sting vs Butch Reed w Hiro Matsuta
- I love how Sting's basic speed wrestling stuff gets the entire crowd that pops
-Sting just through the worst arm drag I've ever seen
-Why is Sting biting Reed's wrist, isn't he the babyface?
- Matsuta does like, the weakest choke on the ropes with Sting ever
"Those Orientals know all the pressure points"-Magnum TA
-Smooth move by Reed, actually cutting off the "Elbow out of the rest hold" spot.
Some generic babyface come back stuff and whaooo Sting wins.
6.5/10

Paul E Dangerously comes out and says he switched out some dude with Jack Victory.

Jim Cornette says there's nohting that Heyman can do to get the midnight express out of the NWA.
Paul E Dangerously's team vs The Midnight Express and Jim Cornette, loser leaves NWA
Ross says that Cornette trained the Express for the guy who got subbed out and know him better than anyone in the sport, making it sound like an assured win for the Express
-People marked out for a Jim Cornette elbow drop
-Cornette throws a punch, and the guy sells it like a crazy man, Heyman throws a punch and Stan Lane no sells it, almost gets rolled up by one of Dangerously's men.
-Paul tagging out when it gets even slightly dangerously is amazing
-Cornette does the *Hulking up comeback mode* animation from WWE 2K14 and people mark the fuck out.
-Dangerously is such a weasel and I love it.
-Eaton drags one of Paul E's team to the corner and makes him tag Paul E, very cool spot.
-JIM DID A BARRELL ROLL
--Heyman throws Cornette out of the ring and disects the team by jumping on Lane's back, good
-The Express wins and gets a huge pop
8/10 for a really well thought out match

Mike Rotundo vs Rick Stiener for the.... TV Title
-They're wearing super similar tights, this annoys me.
-This whole feud is based on "who went to the best college" This feud sounds like it comes from a promotion out of my home town.
-Did you know that Dory Funk was famous for forearms, because I didn't.
-More people need to do Abdominal Stretch pins.
-Lots and lots of Amateur wrestling stuff.
-Rotundo did the safest, ram into the turnbuckle.
-Rick hit the powerslam, does the dog bark breaking the pin, and Teddy Long looked really confused
-Kevin Sullivan gets on the mic and threatens Rick's dog, and walks backstage, leaving Rick worried (why would you bring your dog to a wrestling locker room?)
Rotundo gets put in a Rear Naked Choke, during which Jim Ross uses the phrase "Sleepy-bye"
Also, Rick Stiener is so dumb that he accidentally PINS HIMSELF IN A SUBMISSION HOLD AND LOSES HIS TITLE
4.5/10, less if you don't like amateur wrestling

Road Warriors with Paul Ellering interview. The Warriors cut a non-sensical promo about how it'll be like the OK Corral, but we won't use bullets because we want the Varsity club to hurt. Ellerling cuts maybe the only sensical part of the promo, kinda generic, but welcome nextx to the Warriors.

Lex Luger vs Windham for the US title
-Jim Ross tries to explain to us that "Luger and Sting will control the 1990s" and then, when Luger locks in a sleeper, says, "Oh! A new move in Luger's arsenal!" Call me cynical, but a wrestler who's just learning a move that everyone uses is not a very convincing decade-long superstar
-Luger immediately no sells a reversed sleeper and people loved it.
-Props to the two jackasses chanting "Luger sucks"
-Props to Windham for selling the shit out of all the Luger offense
- Barry messes up his arm, which messes up The Claw, a crappy claw on the top of the head
Luger got the title despite being pinned and getting a shoulder up.
Barry Windham delivers a sick Piledriver on the belt, and walks off in a huff.
5/10 would've been a six or seven without the dumb finish

Mike Rotundo promo, makes a good point about how nobody cares how it's done in the future, they just wanna know who's the champion, average promo otherwise.

The Road Warriors with Paul Ellerling vs The Varsity Club (Williams and Sullivan)
Sullivan did a sick missile dropkick to boot.
-Animal no sells some punches and raises his arms and the Chicago crowd pops.
-Props to Ross for explaining that Ellerling is a power lifting champ so he's good at training the Road Warriors.
-Williams is working the already injured arm of Animal, and Animal just kind of stands up out of an armbar.
-Great babyface in peril stuff until Animal tags in Hawk
-There was a dumb double pin spot, where Williams pinned Animal, and Hawk pinned Sullivan, and was confused when he wasn't champion.
7.25/10

Alright promo by Luger

A look back at Steamboat vs Flair, Steamboat beating Flair, and Steamboat being so mad at Flair that he rips up his clothing.
Steamboat gets not entrance, Flair gets the who shebang. And now we get....
Ricky Steamboat vs Ric Flair w/ Hiro Monstuta.
What can I say other than this was a classic match,
9/10
Post match interview with Ricky Steamboat
Great stuff, bland promo, but there was champaigne and I think Steamboat got some in his eye because he was trying not to look in pain.

Great PPV all around, a few bizarre finishes, but really inconsequential because it was all good wrestling.

[badnewzxl]

Heyman's team was spose to be Dennis Condry (who was a part of the 'original' Midnight Express with Bobby Eaton, with Cornette as the manager; however the truly original Midnight express was formed in Southeast Championship Wrestling and included Condry, a guy named Norvell Austin, and Condry's partner in this particular Chi-town Rumble match....) and Randy Rose, but Condry left the NWA before the show, so Jack Victory took his place.

[NWK2000]

Heyman's team was spose to be Dennis Condry (who was a part of the 'original' Midnight Express with Bobby Eaton, with Cornette as the manager; however the truly original Midnight express was formed in Southeast Championship Wrestling and included Condry, a guy named Norvell Austin, and Condry's partner in this particular Chi-town Rumble match....) and Randy Rose, but Condry left the NWA before the show, so Jack Victory took his place.

Ahhh, my bad. They didn't have any name plates like usual wrestling shows, so it was kind of difficult to call.

[badnewzxl]

Heyman's team was spose to be Dennis Condry (who was a part of the 'original' Midnight Express with Bobby Eaton, with Cornette as the manager; however the truly original Midnight express was formed in Southeast Championship Wrestling and included Condry, a guy named Norvell Austin, and Condry's partner in this particular Chi-town Rumble match....) and Randy Rose, but Condry left the NWA before the show, so Jack Victory took his place.

Ahhh, my bad. They didn't have any name plates like usual wrestling shows, so it was kind of difficult to call.

I think this match is on the Greatest Tag Teams dvd; that's how I learned the backstory for the match. I kinda marked out for Jack Victory; always wondered when he was relevant/why ECW used him at all, lol.