BRM Reviews the 9/11/1995 Nitro

[Big Red Machine]

Now that they are in a real arena for the first time, we got our first glimpse of the announcers' desk and normal set. The announcers' desk set seems too overdone and goofy to me, but the rest of the set-up is cool.

REPLAY OF THE HOGAN-LUGER CONFRONTATION FROM LAST WEEK- great build for the main event.

The announcers then delivered some news to us: Vader has gone AWOL, and is now off of Hogan’s team for the PPV on Sunday, leaving Hogan’s team down a man.
Wait. What? Who? What match? What PPV? What are the teams? How big are the teams? If Hogan is leading one side, who is leading the other? I am totally lost. Both Bischoff and Heenan should have known better than to just leap right into this without giving any details for us new viewers who are just tuning in for the second time ever.


SABU vs. ALEX WRIGHT- 4.75/10
This was FANTASTIC for a match that went less than four minutes. They did lots of fast-paced, high-flying stuff, and by the time the match ended, I wanted to see a lot more of both guys. The finish was Sabu doing a move that I can only describe as a super inverted poisonrana. Wright got his shoulder up right after the three-count. Then they killed it all by having Sabu attack Wright for no reason, thus getting the decision reversed and giving Wright the DQ win. Sabu put Wright on a table on the outside that appeared to be decently thick, have sturdy metal legs and some sturdy metal supporting the tabletop, but Sabu did a diving senton onto Wright and managed to break it anyway. This looked like it hurt like a mother*cker. When the reversal of the decision and the DQ were announced the fans booed heavily.

GENE OKERLUND INTERVIEWS RIC FLAIR- good
Flair talked about some big match he had last night where Arn didn’t come out to ringside with him. Bischoff had been talking about Alex Wright getting a big win over DDP on a show last night as well. Was there some big show last night that I didn’t know about?
Anyway, Flair was unhappy because instead of hanging out with him at the arena last night, Arn was calling his wife and child. Flair was supposed to be the heel here, but the people were going totally nuts for this.
After Flair mentioned the Four Horsemen, former Horseman Lex Luger came out. Flair was happy about this. He talked Lex up, which Lex was very humbled and almost embarrassed by. Lex said that “some things never change” and that Flair was always “too much” (he said this all in a complementary way). Lex left the ring, and Flair declared that Hogan would lose to Lex tonight.

PPV PLUG- they should have done something like this at the beginning, and given us some more details here. They gave us the name of the PPV and the start time (and the graphic had the ordering info), but the only things they announced were the same vague comments about Hogan’s team being down a man, and "the match everyone thought they’d never see: Ric Flair vs. Arn Anderson!"

V.K. WALLSTREET vs. STING- 4/10
“Mr. Wallstreet” apparently went out and bought himself some new initials at some point in the past week. The announcers point this out, asking “what’s with the V.K. stuff?” “All of a sudden now he’s V.K. Wallstreet? What’s up with that?”
Of even more note, though, is Bischoff giving away the results a match on Raw for the first time, so that we don’t have to change the channel. This came across as being pointlessly douchy (because it was).
We were also told that Sting is a part of Hogan’s team. Okay… I now know two out of… what must be at least six guys in this match, and I have been given no reason to care about it. Bobby Heenan then mentioned that Johnny B. Badd would be facing Brian Pillman for #1 contendership to Sting’s US Title at the PPV, and that Sting would be wrestling a “Dungeon of Doom match.” What the hell is a Dungeon of Doom match? Is this the same as the Hogan tag team match or is Sting wrestling twice? I have absolutely no idea.
The match got some time, but Sting got in most of the offense.

PLUG FOR WCW SATURDAY NIGHT- they hyped up the debut of “the Disco Inferno,” a match between The Renegade and Max Muscle, Brian Pillman vs. Alex Wright, and Big Bubba Rogers vs. “Dave Sullivan and, yes, the rabbit.” So… is it a handicap match or something? Is the rabbit a legal participant?

“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE vs. SCOTT NORTON- 6/10
Apparently Randy Savage is also part of Hogan’s team. These two were having a very good match, with Macho selling his back well and playing the brave babyface, while Norton was made to look like a HUGE threat to a main event star… until the finish happened. Savage had just started to make his comeback when Kamala and The Shark rushed the ring. Apparently they are the Dungeon of Doom. Okay… so is the Dungeon of Doom match their specialty match or something?
Anyway, they rushed the ring, but as they tried to get in, Savage whipped Norton into them. The result was Norton bumping into The Shark (who was already in the ring, but right by the ropes. Norton fell down, while The Shark pinballed into Kamala, knocking Kamala off the ropes and knocking The Shark unconscious. The Shark then fell across Norton’s legs, trapping Norton under his immense weight. Savage then went to the top and the diving elbow drop on Norton for the pin (although I have to say that it looked to me like Norton got his shoulder up well before the three). This would have been an awesome finish in a No DQ’s match… but this wasn’t a No DQ’s match. There should have been a DQ!
I understand that they wanted to protect Norton (they seem to be building to Norton vs. Mongo, of all people), but sh*t still has to MAKE SENSE! The fans booed heavily, but whether that was because they thought it was a dumb finish or because a bunch of other guys were about to do a run-in I’m not sure.
Savage bailed as this army of men piled into the ring. Included in this band of freaks was Kevin Sullivan and a guy who looked strangely like what you would get if you took Crow Sting’s head and color scheme and attached them to surfer-Sting’s body and mannerisms. Sullivan was holding a GIANT f*cking pike, with a very ornate-looked wooden handle that had some spirals in it, culminating into a spiral to a black metal point. It looked like the sort of weapon I would expect to be designed at an evil candy cane factory. I’m not sure whether the Christmas spear or time-travel mash-up Sting was weirder to see, but I’m leading towards The Once and Future Sting.
Norton got into a shoving match with The Shark (who had apparently regained consciousness), but Sullivan stops a conflict. The army of dudes all walks off, leaving Norton pissed off in the ring.
Then, while Bischoff was talking about how Norton blew this big chance to pick up a big win in his debut, they showed a replay of the finish which seemed confirm my perception that Norton’s shoulder was up before the ref counted three.
After a commercial break, we were told that Savage was injured by Norton’s work on his ribs, and if he is ready to go at the PPV, he might not be very effective.

On commentary, Bischoff proudly told us all that “the current WWF World Champion is a guy who barely made it past mid-level status here in WCW. The WWF Champion in question was Kevin Nash, who Bischoff would shell out HUGE money to sign just seven months later, and would then go on to be an integral part of the biggest angle in WCW history and when all was said and done, wound up winning the WCW World Heavyweight Title FIVE times.

WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Hulk Hogan(c) (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Lex Luger- 4/10
Hogan and Luger lock up and… HOLY F*CK THEIR WRESTLING. Like REALLY wrestling! Hogan quickly got a headlock, then transitioned into a hammerlock, then QUICKLY fired of a drop toe-hold, and then a half-nelson armbar from the rear mount. WOW!
So after some surprisingly fast-paced stuff, considering the guys involved, Luger almost won with the Torture Rack, but Hogan Hulked up, made his usual comeback and hit the leg drop. This would have been very good, except that the entirety of everything they did took a total of FIVE AND A HALF MINUTES. For the big world title match on the second Nitro ever.
That big army of freaks from before ran in and attacked Hogan as he was pinning Luger for the DQ (that’s THREE finishes on this show that were either DQ’s or should have been but weren’t, and that is out of just four matches). They all beat Hogan down until Sting and Savage made the save. Sting punched his fourth dimensionally-confused self, but fortunately this did not cause any tears in the space-time continuum.
Once the heels had all run away, Bischoff noted that they only attacked Hogan, but never touched Luger. Hogan seemed to think that this was evidence that Luger was with them, so he shoved him. Just like last week, Sting and Savage stepped in to try to calm them down.
SEGMENT WITH HOGAN, SAVAGE, STING, & LUGER- (mostly) GREAT!
When we came back from a commercial break, Mean Gene was in the ring (again, just like last week), and was talking to Hogan about the PPV. Now I’m really confused. Is Fall Brawl the PPV and War Games the name of the match in which Hogan, Savage, and Sting will be taking on Kamala, Shark, collectively known as “the Dungeon of Doom” and some other guys? Or is the PPV called Fall Brawl: War Games, and Hogan, Savage, and Sting will be taking on The Shark and Kamala, collectively known as the Dungeon of Doom, as well as their partners in their specialty “Dungeon of Doom” match? And either way, what are the rules of the match?

Hogan says some stuff about the PPV which doesn’t help clarify anything at all, then makes a rambling transition into talking about Lex Luger. Hogan described tonight’s match as “the match of my life.” Really, Hulkster? Really? I am okay with exaggeration for the sake of hype, but this is so far beyond the realm of exaggeration that it is downright ridiculous.
Hogan and his best pal Randy Savage both belligerently demand to know if Luger is working with the army of freaks or not. Sting steps up to defend his good buddy, and suggests that they let Luger replace Vader on their team. Savage objects to this. He says that this match is too important. He would rather know that no one has their back than allow himself to be stabbed from behind, because if their team wins, they apparently get “the Taskmaster” (which I assume must be some sort of early PDA from the mid-90’s, because it seems unlikely that they would be fighting for the rights to the Marvel Comics character).
Sting says that he is voting for Luger to join the team. Savage then asks a new question “why did the Dungeon of Doom attack him and Hogan, but didn’t touch Sting or Jimmy Hart?” Okay… being suspicious of Luger I can understand, but to accuse Sting, who HELPED YOU FIGHT THEM OFF, and Hogan’s little buddy Jimmy Hart of being a part of this? That’s bordering on paranoia right there.
Jimmy Hart even points out that he was the one who brought the team together. If he didn’t want Hulk to have any friends to help him in the match, he could have just done nothing. Savage votes to not let Luger on their team, but Hogan votes yes. Luger seems reluctant to join, so Sting pleads with him: “Don’t make a fool out of me” for sticking up for you. Luger agrees to join their team… IF Hogan will give him a title shot to replace the one that got screwed up tonight. Hogan agrees to it, but Savage shouts “SEE! HE’S GOT AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE!”

They ended the show with a run-down of Sunday’s PPV…
Wait. No. That would be the SMART thing to do. Instead, they told us to watch a show called “the Main Event” on Sunday (without telling us what time or what channel) in order to find out which of a list of guys that Bischoff rattled off that we might see on next week’s Nitro.
WE STILL KNOW ALMOST NOTHING ABOUT THIS SUNDAY’S PPV!
Yes, I have been playing dumb about the War Games match throughout this review, but I did so to prove a point. This was just the second-ever Nitro. A big reason for the jump to prime-time was to expose themselves to a wider audience. Many (or possibly even most) of those people have no idea what the angles are in WCW, and thus no reason to want to order the PPV.
Here is what we know about the PPV right now from watching these two weeks of Nitro:
1. There will be a match between Arn Anderson and Ric Flair, who used to be buddies but apparently aren’t anymore.
2. Flyin’ Brian Pillman will face Johnny B. Badd- a wrestler were have never seen before- for #1 contendership to the US Title.
3. There will be some sort of match, called either a “War Games match” or a “Dungeon of Doom match,” in which the team of Hogan, Savage, Sting, and Luger will take on four members of the Dungeon of Doom stable, which consists of Kamala, the Shark, Kevin Sullivan, and a bunch of freaks of varying girth. We don’t know what the rules to this match are, but we do know that the winning team will receive something called a “taskmaster.” You see the problem here? Us new fans don’t know anything else. We have no real reason to care (other than liking Hogan, Luger, and Savage- and this Sting guy seems really cool. Oh. And seeing if Luger will betray them or not).
That’s just three matches, and we really don’t even understand one of them. They REALLY should have taken some time (like, say, the opener) and told us what else we will see at the PPV. At this point, WE DON’T EVEN KNOW IF WCW HAS TAG TEAM TITLES! They mentioned The Renegade while hyping next week’s show, so why not mention that he is the WCW TV Champion and will be defending that title on PPV against Diamond Dallas Page? Why not give us a hype video for the WCW World Tag Team Title match with Dick Slater & Bunkhouse Buck defending against Harlem Heat? If they are going to go the WWF nostalgia route, then why not get Sherri on TV?

As a stand-alone show, this was similar to last week’s, but a bit worse. They had the same great pacing, and everything seemed exciting, despite the low ratings for the matches, but this week, not only did we not get good matches, but everything was either a squash or had a bad finish. I’ll give them a pass on the Hogan-Luger DQ, but the fact that the match only went four minutes was disappointing. It has now been two weeks, and aside from Pillman vs. Liger, we haven’t had any matches that managed to be both good and not have a sh*tty finish. I am beginning to lose faith that this will change next week (or, for that matter, at the PPV which they actually want me to spend money on).



STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Bischoff miscalled a somersault plancha as a “moonsault.” I normally don’t pick on the announcers for miscalling moves, and especially not for mixing up the various terms for dives to the floor, but a MOONSAULT?! COME ON!

2. Both Heenan and Mongo seemed to be under the impression that V.K. Wallstreet is some sort of avatar for the actual Wall Street and its financial trading, so every time he got punched they would talk about how the stocks and bonds were going down, but Heenan would assure us that they would go back up if Wallstreet won. This was just a whole level of stupid that I wasn’t prepared for.