BRM Reviews the 10/30/1995 Nitro (painfully boring)

[Big Red Machine]

They opened the show with Bischoff hyping up “the event that shocked the wrestling world,” which apparently occurred at last night’s PPV, Halloween Havoc. He said that they wouldn’t say anything else, but they would replay the footage for us as soon as it arrives at the arena. Mongo hyped it up by saying that the people who were “smart enough” to order last night’s show saw something unforgettable. “Smart enough?” Apparently they’re the dumb ones, because they paid thirty bucks to see something that you are going to show for free tonight, and have even vowed to be nice enough to not give out spoilers.


EDDIE GUERRERO vs. SGT. CRAIG PITTMAN- 4/10
They throw each other around with some suplexes, then Eddie wins via roll-up.


SCOTT NORTON vs. THE SHARK (w/the Taskmaster)- 1.5/10
The crowd was very into Norton’s displays of power. They went to a double count-out. They brawled to the back, including smashing each other’s heads into the big metal WCW.

At some point (which they did call attention to), Bobby Heenan just got up and left the broadcast booth. They found him during this match. He was sitting with an Asian man, eating a fancy dinner, complete with their own waiter, while some women stood behind them and poured them drinks.

RECAP OF THE HORSEMEN REFORMATION AND BEAT-DOWN OF STING LAST NIGHT- They did this by showing us pictures, while Tony Schiavone stood in the ring and narrated. This stunk. It felt likesomething that they would do in the early 60’s.

HORSEMEN SEGMENT- Arn, Pillman, and Flair all cut great promos. Arn even managed to put Sting over in his.

SABU vs. DISCO INFERNO- fun squash
From the moment they showed the graphic for this match, I was eagerly anticipating seeing Sabu completely destroy Disco, and apparently I was not alone. I don’t remember ever hearing such a big pop for a random punch in a random match as there was the first time Sabu connected with Disco here.
After the match, Sabu tried to put Disco through a table, but Disco moved.

THE AMERICAN MALES vs. LEX LUGER & MENG (w/the Taskmaster & Jimmy Hart)- 3.75/10
Doesn’t having Luger and Jimmy Hart out here as part of the Dungeon of Doom give away exactly what they promised not to give away?
Riggs and Bagwell have now gotten themselves some vests that say “American Males” on the back. The rest of what they are wearing is about a 6 out of 10 on the Mid-90’s Shawn Michaels Scale of Atrociously Outrageous Attire.
The match was a decent showcase for Luger as a heel, but it seemed like a HUGE mistake to do this match BEFORE showing the footage of these two turning on Hogan.

Mongo sprayed silly-string at Heenan because Mongo is a huge asshole.

FOOTAGE OF THE “EVENT THAT SHOCKED THE WRESTLING WORLD” LAST NIGHT- The shocking events in question are Jimmy Hart and Lex Luger turning on Hulk Hogan. If anything from lqualifies as an “event that shocked the wrestling world” from last night’s PPV you’d think it’d be the fact that the Giant fell five stories from the roof of Cobo Hall to the concrete parking lot below, and seems to have suffered absolutely no damage at all from it.
They replayed everything from last night from Jimmy’s turn until the Giant’s chokeslam to Savage, including the very unfortunate incident of the “double bear hug” that Giant and the Yeh-Ti applied to Hogan that looks more like they were attempting to double penetrate him, but with clothes on.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS THE DUNGEON OF DOOM- a decent “heels bragging” segment
The Dungeon was represented by Jimmy Hart, the Taskmaster, Lex Luger, and the Giant. The Giant was wearing the WCW World Heavyweight Title belt, though Schiavone informed us that it was not really his belt. The Giant disagreed, and shouted “IT’S MY BELT!” This made me laugh for some reason. Speaking of laughing, the Taskmaster and the Giant spent this entire segment giving evil belly-laughs, which was by far the best thing on this entire program.
Jimmy Hart cut a promo saying that he and Sullivan were pals because Jimmy managed Sullivan once upon a time. Luger cut a great promo about how much he enjoyed seeing Hogan and Savage defeated. The Giant cut a good promo offering to defend the title next week on Nitro. Sullivan reiterated this because… well… because he didn’t get the chance to talk yet, but the others had already said everything important.

A terrible episode of Nitro. It was only 45 minutes (and realistically less than that, as I skipped the replay of the end of Halloween Havoc), but it felt like it took hours to get through. Everything but the opener, the squash match, and the Horsemen promo was painful to sit through, to the point where I considered giving up on watching these Nitros altogether, but I have decided to stick with it, pretty much entirely for the Sting vs. Horsemen story and the cruiserweights. Also, I want to see if Johnny B. Badd’s streak of having great matches on PPVs continues.