BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

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BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 16th, '19, 12:27

BECKY LYNCH ARRIVES AT THE ARENA IN AN SUV- I assumed that Daniel Bryan is going to show up and yell at her, but instead Kayla Braxton accosted her for an interview. Kayla has apparently been waiting in the parking lot for Becky all day because she absolutely had to ask Becky if she really thinks she’s ready for Asuka. This is a stupid question (does anyone really think Becky is going to say anything other than yes?), and Becky rightly chided Kayla for asking it. The real reason that Kayla had to ask Becky with this question was so Becky could cut a promo building up her title match against Asuka t the Royal Rumble. Well if that’s what WWE wanted Becky to do then why didn’t they just schedule Kayla interviewing Becky into the show rather than making poor Kayla and her production crew wait for Becky in the parking lot all day?
And the thing that really annoys me about this is that they wouldn’t have run into this problem in the first place if they hadn’t insisted on starting the show with Becky driving into the parking lot (she’s late for work, by the way. Great work ethic there). If you do sh*t the normal way, you’ll avoid accidentally creating logic problems. Because what did they really get out of showing us Becky arriving at the show that they wouldn’t have gotten by haking Kayla ask her question and Becky give her answer in a regular backstage promo (in fact, you could have Becky head out to the ring right then and it would make even more sense that there would be nothing going on in the ring because this time was scheduled for Becky’s backstage interview!)?
Then, just to pile it on poor Kayla even more, after saying she was going to show us all how ready she is for Asuka, Becky walked off and tossed her keys to Kayla like Kayla was the f*cking valet. What a jerk. I hope Becky’s car is a stick and Kayla doesn’t actually know how to drive a stick so she shreds Becky’s transmission while trying to park it for her. Also, we need to schedule Becky for one of Titus O’Neil’s lectures on not being mean to Valued Backstage Crewmembers™ like Kayla.
So Becky walks to the ring… and on her way we see New Day and Heavy Machinery being goofballs together and playing with food. They put bag-dried tuna fish, pancakes, whole eggs (INCLUDING THE SHELLS) and some sort of mysterious powder into a blender. Whoever wrote this segment should be forced to drink this disgusting mixture. Instead, Otis Dozovic drank it. Woods and Kofi looked horrified, while Big E. didn’t seem to care.
Becky Lynch walked up to them and Otis offered her his vomit-inducing smoothie. At this point I was begging for Becky to break all of their arms. And legs, too. And to shove that blender up Otis’ ass. Sideways. Instead she calmly drank the sludge, told them it was “a little weak,” put it down, and continued on her way. She then came out to the ring, because apparently nothing was planned for the f*cking OPENING SEGMENT OF THE SHOW!

THIS SHOW IS LITERALLY GETTING STUPIDER BY THE SECOND!

WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH BUILD SEGMENT-
Becky cut a good promo, which brought out Asuka. Asuka cut a not-so-good promo, mostly because she screamed a lot and kept moving around like a cartoon. Then the IIconics came out (with new vests). They, too, called Becky out for her demeaning treatment of Kayla Braxton. They said it didn’t matter who wins the Asuka vs. Becky match because “we are going to win the women’s Royal Rumble match.” This happened with New Day a few weeks ago, and it REALLY bugs me that WWE has these groups say “we” instead of “one of us.” It makes the wrestlers look stupid, and it reinforces the message to us fans that they are to be seen as a team and nothing but a team, and thus there is no chance of one of them winning the Royal Rumble because that would entail getting a singles push. And if you’re having them signal to us that they’re not going to win then what’s the point of having them come out here and cut a promo trying to convince us that they are going to win?
Also, the IIconics said they would become the first-ever WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, then that they would “make WrestleMania IIconic.” Not that one of them would win the Smackdown Women’s Title in the main event of WrestleMania; just that they would “make WrestleMania IIconic.” Because this is WWE, doing your branding thing is more important than winning.
Becky told Asuka that she would show her that she isn’t just hype, and in order to do so, she challenged one of the IIconics to a singles match, right here, right now. We cut a commercial, and when we came back, we were just in time for the opening bell of…

BECKY LYNCH vs. PEYTON ROYCE (w/Billie Kay)- 4.75/10
Asuka watched the match from ringside. AS if this wasn’t enough watching, we were also shown Lacey Evans watching backstage. She was drinking while doing so. I’m not sure why that detail stood out to me, but it did. Maybe because we rarely see anyone enjoying a nice beverage or snack while watching matches backstage?
Anyway, Becky started off by offering a handshake to Peyton, but when Peyton went to take the handshake, Becky punched her in the face instead. What a f*cking asshole! The match was fine for the time it got. Becky won clean. What better way to get us excited for Lacey big call-up than by showing us that the last two women to be called up from NXT are now total jobbers a mere nine months after getting called up.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
Asuka got into the ring and started yelling. The IIconics headed to the back but Asuka ran after them, grabbed Billie Kay from behind and threw her into the ring. Then, with no instructions from anyone in management and without the consent of one of the competitors the referee just ordered the bell rung and a match started. WHAT THE F*CK?!

ASUKA vs. BILLIE KAY (w/Peyton Royce)- squash
Asuka tried to put Billie in the Disarmer bit Billie rolled her up. Asuka kicked out and the won with the Asuka Lock. Asuka and Becky had a stare-down until they were interrupted by AJ STYLES coming out… and randomly wandering into the crowd. WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON?!

AJ STYLS BACKSTAGE THE CONCESSION STAND- bad
Actually, it’s not really even a concession stand. It’s a table with a bunch of hot dog with the works laid out on it all fancy, just sitting there for anyone to take. Next to that there a whole bunch of sodas. Is AJ throwing a private party in the middle of Smackdown or something?
Next to it there is a WWE merch stand, from which AJ grabs a bunch of his t-shirts and starts giving them away for free. Thankfully Daniel Bryan showed up to stop AJ from costing the company money by giving away merchandise for free. AJ eventually slammed Bryan into the hotdog table and Bryan was covered in mustard as security pulled AJ away. WWE knows that Birmingham is not Tupelo, right?

JIMMY USO RECEIVES A PRESENT AT A PHOTOSHOOT- It’s a dirty note and a key to a hotel room. Jimmy thinks it might be an “early anniversary present.” Well there should be an easy way to tell, Jimmy: If it’s not the key to YOUR hotel room, then it’s probably not from your wife! Jey asks Jimmy what he is going to do, to which Jimmy replies that he doesn’t know.
And no. There’s not even supposed to be a mystery here, as Corey Graves immediately told us that “Mandy Rose is at it again.” So if Jimmy even shows up to that hotel room, HE’S A COMPLETE MORON!

SAMOA JOE COMES ACROSS EC III POSING IN FRONT OF A MIRROR BACKSTAGE- I assume that the only reason Joe didn’t just choke this arrogant loser out is because he is saving his energy for his match against Mustafa Ali later tonight.

KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS ZELINA VEGA & ANDRADE “CIEN” ALMAS- excellent
Almas spoke for himself in English and did a good job of putting over what it meant to him to pin Rey Mysterio Jr. last week. Vega then cut the usual “this is going to be our year/my guy is going to win the Royal Rumble” promo and was excellent at it, as usual.

We then got a graphic for Rey vs. Almas which revealed that Kayla did not misspeak: WWE’s insane powers that be have decided that the “’Cien’ Almas” part of “Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas” had to go for some inexplicable reason. Normally when a foreigner loses part of their name in WWE on one of Vince’s random whims it’s the first name that disappears (e.g. Cesaro’s Antonio, Rusev’s Alexander) but Andrade instead dropped his last name, like Elias did. I guess that it’s not an American/foreigner thing in Vince’s mind so much as it is a North America/rest of the world thing.

They showed us a bunch of fan Tweets to hype up the Rey vs. Almas match.

SAMOA JOE vs. MUSTAFA ALI- no rating, decent segment
Joe jumped Ali from behind while Ali was posing on the turnbuckle during his entrance and beat him up. He kept leaving, then coming back to beat Ali up some more. Shouldn’t they have sent security out at some point to stop this?

SONYA & MANDY IN A HOTEL- necessary
Sonya is concerned because “giving someone your hotel room key” “is kind of scandalous.” And trying to seduce a married person isn’t? Has Sonya not been paying attention to the things her best friend has been doing on national TV for the past month?
Anyway, it looks like someone in WWE read my review of last week’s show, so we now got an actual explanation of Mandy’s motivation here. Said motivation is that (for no explained reason) she hates Naomi’s guts and therefore wants to break up her marriage in order to make her life miserable. I still contend that if this is Mandy’s goal then her overly-forward approach probably isn’t the best choice, but at least doing it in such a forward way is more likely to annoy Naomi if the plan fails (actually it has already been doing that for weeks, so good on Mandy to come up with a plan that is kind of a win/win for her. Or at least a win/loser-point for an overtime loss).

REY MYSTERIO COMES ACROSS NIKKI CROSS BEING WEIRD BACKSTAGE- Nikki is standing behind some fencing, laughing, and telling Rey “I’ll play with you. Let Nikki play.” More evidence that Creative does not understand what made Nikki’s character work in NXT.

KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS SAMOA JOE- She wants to know why Joe attack Mustafa Ali. Joe said that it was a statement, then said he would win the Royal Rumble and win a title (but he said this all in a much more exciting way. Seriously, this promo was AWESOME).

REY MYSTERIO JR. vs. ANDRADE “CIEN” ALMAS (w/Zelina Vega)- 8.5/10
GO WATCH THIS MATCH NOW. This was will probably be the best match on free WWE TV all year. Vega distracted the referee towards the end, but there wasn’t a pin going on and Almas didn’t actually do anything illegal while the referee was distracted, so this was pretty much another clean win for Almas.

JIMMY USO IS A DUMBF*CK AND ACTUALLY GOES TO MANDY’S HOTEL ROOM- stupid
Mandy takes her clothes off, steps up to Jimmy… and then a photographer runs out of the bathroom, takes a bunch of pictures, then runs away. Mandy then spills the beans to Jimmy that ruining Naomi’s marriage was her evil plan all along and she doesn’t care about Jimmy one bit, and certainly doesn’t want to sleep with him. Mandy proudly brags that “when she gets a look at all of these photos of you in my hotel room, they will destroy her entire world.”
Jimmy walks out… and then the camera made an odd zoom in on Mandy, and when it turned around again, Naomi was there and she attacked Mandy. They had a brawl that wasn’t bad until Naomi’s supposedly debilitating bump over a big cushiony chair. Yes, she fell several feet to the floor, but it was one of those bumps that only looked like it kept her down for as long as it did because this was the scheduled time for the brawl to and end and thus Naomi had to stay down so that Mandy could get away. Jimmy Uso then returned to check on Naomi, who then dusted herself off and seemed not debilitated at all and made me wonder why she wasn’t didn’t go off chasing after Mandy (especially because Jimmy would know what direction she went.
The direction they took this was probably the best out they had (other than Jimmy sending Jey in his place and having Jey record Mandy’s confession, with his heavy winter clothing serving to both hide the wire and to cover up the tattoos that would identify him as Jey rather than Jimmy), but the problem with this whole thing is that the premise is dumb.
Think about it: what was Mandy’s plan here? She was going to use the photographs her hired photographer took to make Naomi think that Jimmy slept with her, right? But that whole plan is undermined by the fact that her spilling of the beans to Jimmy was broadcast worldwide on Smackdown. This is the sort of angle that you just can’t do if you’re going to use the “just pretend the camera isn’t there” style of shooting a wrestling show.

They then showed us Alexa Bliss!’s big announcement about the WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles last night on Raw, followed by the usual “LOOK! THIS IS A BIG DEAL BECAUSE NON-WWE-AFFILIATED MEDIA OUTLETS ARE COVERING IT!” montage. The article from Yahoo was clearly not proofread by anyone because in the first four sentences they
1) Described Alexa as the “rightmost person” (which means the person standing the farthest to the right, not the person who is the best choice)…
2) “to confirm this women’s tag team championship match announcement.”
- She didn’t confirm the announcement; she made the initial announcement. The first person makes the announcement. A second source “confirms” it.
3 & 4) Described Alexa as “the winner of the first-ever Elimination Chamber match winner”
- It wasn’t the “first-ever Elimination Chamber match,” just the first women’s one, and the word “winner” was doubled.
5) Noted that Alexa might not be able to wrestle in the match due to an injury, but notes that she would be able to compete “if she gets herself cleared with the second PPV of the year.”
- You don’t get cleared “with” a PPV. You get cleared “by” or “before” or “in time for” a PPV. Saying that she needs to be cleared “with” means that it’s the PPV that is making medical decisions!
6) And that if that happens “we might see her entering the unforgiven steel structure for the second time in her career.”
UNFORGIVING! Not “unforgiven!” “Unforgiven” means that the Elimination Chamber said sorry and Alexa didn’t accept its apology.

MIZ THROWS SHANE A BIRTHDAY PARTY- boring
Of course this got the main event spot. We got ten minutes of the same stuff we’ve been getting from Miz & Shane for months. Miz is sucking up to Shane and full of himself, and Shane goes along with it. Thankfully Cesaro & Sheamus came out to interrupt this horse crap. Stuff was said, leading to a challenge for…

THE MIZ (w/Shane McMahon) vs. SHEAMUS (w/Cesaro)- 4/10
They had a short match (not even six minutes). Cesaro got bumped off the apron through the table with Shane’s cake on it (of course). Miz then rolled Shemaus up for the win. Sheamus attacked Miz but Shane made the same for him. MIz hit a Skull-Crushing Finale and then Shane hit a Coast-to-Coast Dropkick while Miz held the other cake in front of Sheamus… but the idiot Miz held thing with the cake facing Shane instead of Sheamus so that most of the cake wound up on Shane’s feet and legs instead of on Sheamus. The fact that they decided that THIS should be the main event instead of Rey vs. Almas is yet another example of how insanely warped WWE’s priorities are.

This was a TERRIBLE episode of Smackdown, with Rey vs. Almas and the promos by Joe and Vega being gems in the middle of a cow pie.
Also, of the five matches that actually happened on tonight’s show, a grand total of ONE of them was booked in advance, with only two matches being booked in advance in total. These f*cking McMahons showed up last month and vowed to us that they were no longer going to neglect their duties to run Raw and Smackdown, and here they are clearly kayfabe neglecting their duties. This is almost worse on Smackdown because while there is a valid argument that Corbin was terrible at his jobbed and needed to be fired, there really wasn’t any such argument against Paige… but they took her job away anyway!
With Vince Russo, we knew he was an idiot. With Dixie Carter we all just assumed she was delusional about the quality of her product, insisting that their only issue was exposure and continuing to believe this no matter how good a timeslot they got or how many legendary wrestlers they had on their show (seriously… two hours of prime time TV on Thursday night on SPIKE TV, with Hogan, Flair, Sting, Foley, Angle, the Dudleys, RVD, Jeff Hardy, Booker T, Kevin Nash, and Scott Steiner- and addition to all of the indy darling… and she thought the problem was exposure and not quality). But with Vince (and, to a lesser extent, Steph) I’m honestly not sure whether he’s delusional and thinks people will like his product despite so many obvious flaws, or whether he’s just an idiot and doesn’t see the flaws at all.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by KILLdozer » Jan 16th, '19, 12:57

Joe is probably one of the the top guys whose look I just can't stand lol. He's always doing weird things with his facial hair...no moustache...weird goatee with really long sideburns...half Mohawk, half spiked hair..

Now he legitimately has a full neckbeard...lol
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by NWK2000 » Jan 16th, '19, 13:32

Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 12:27

We then got a graphic for Rey vs. Almas which revealed that Kayla did not misspeak: WWE’s insane powers that be have decided that the “’Cien’ Almas” part of “Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas” had to go for some inexplicable reason. Normally when a foreigner loses part of their name in WWE on one of Vince’s random whims it’s the first name that disappears (e.g. Cesaro’s Antonio, Rusev’s Alexander) but Andrade instead dropped his last name, like Elias did. I guess that it’s not an American/foreigner thing in Vince’s mind so much as it is a North America/rest of the world thing.

I can see the logic with changing Andrade's name because let's break it down by syllable
An-drah-day See-en All-mas

That's seven syllables long. So, in order for the commentary team to say his name in the heat of the action, he's going to get most of his time being referred to as "Andrade" "Almas" or "Cien" anyway. Why not give him one name to avoid the confusion. Now, could they have avoided this problem by dropping the "Cien?" Yeah, and I call him Andrade Almas anyway because the Cien is just a weird nickname (or is it his middle name?) that never really fit with me anyway. But we have to remember WWE is devised for literally the dumbest people in the world, kids, so any simplification probably helps with superstar recognition anyway.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by KILLdozer » Jan 16th, '19, 13:37

I think "Cien Almas" translates to "100 souls", so there's that.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by KILLdozer » Jan 16th, '19, 14:00

Now that they're actually going somewhere with Shane and Mis I actually don't really care as much anymore. They HAVE became VERY CLOSE out of nowhere it seems though.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by cero2k » Jan 16th, '19, 14:06

Andrade is actually a last name too, he really never had a first name.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 16th, '19, 17:18

NWK2000 wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 13:32
Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 12:27

We then got a graphic for Rey vs. Almas which revealed that Kayla did not misspeak: WWE’s insane powers that be have decided that the “’Cien’ Almas” part of “Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas” had to go for some inexplicable reason. Normally when a foreigner loses part of their name in WWE on one of Vince’s random whims it’s the first name that disappears (e.g. Cesaro’s Antonio, Rusev’s Alexander) but Andrade instead dropped his last name, like Elias did. I guess that it’s not an American/foreigner thing in Vince’s mind so much as it is a North America/rest of the world thing.

I can see the logic with changing Andrade's name because let's break it down by syllable
An-drah-day See-en All-mas

That's seven syllables long. So, in order for the commentary team to say his name in the heat of the action, he's going to get most of his time being referred to as "Andrade" "Almas" or "Cien" anyway. Why not give him one name to avoid the confusion. Now, could they have avoided this problem by dropping the "Cien?" Yeah, and I call him Andrade Almas anyway because the Cien is just a weird nickname (or is it his middle name?) that never really fit with me anyway. But we have to remember WWE is devised for literally the dumbest people in the world, kids, so any simplification probably helps with superstar recognition anyway.
Where is it written that they have to refer to someone by their full name (never mind full name and nickname) every time they say it?
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 16th, '19, 17:20

cero2k wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 14:06 Andrade is actually a last name too, he really never had a first name.
Well... some things can be first names or last names, right?
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by KILLdozer » Jan 16th, '19, 17:24

Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 17:18
NWK2000 wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 13:32
Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 12:27

We then got a graphic for Rey vs. Almas which revealed that Kayla did not misspeak: WWE’s insane powers that be have decided that the “’Cien’ Almas” part of “Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas” had to go for some inexplicable reason. Normally when a foreigner loses part of their name in WWE on one of Vince’s random whims it’s the first name that disappears (e.g. Cesaro’s Antonio, Rusev’s Alexander) but Andrade instead dropped his last name, like Elias did. I guess that it’s not an American/foreigner thing in Vince’s mind so much as it is a North America/rest of the world thing.

I can see the logic with changing Andrade's name because let's break it down by syllable
An-drah-day See-en All-mas

That's seven syllables long. So, in order for the commentary team to say his name in the heat of the action, he's going to get most of his time being referred to as "Andrade" "Almas" or "Cien" anyway. Why not give him one name to avoid the confusion. Now, could they have avoided this problem by dropping the "Cien?" Yeah, and I call him Andrade Almas anyway because the Cien is just a weird nickname (or is it his middle name?) that never really fit with me anyway. But we have to remember WWE is devised for literally the dumbest people in the world, kids, so any simplification probably helps with superstar recognition anyway.
Where is it written that they have to refer to someone by their full name (never mind full name and nickname) every time they say it?
Ask...Armando...Alejandro...Estrada.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by NWK2000 » Jan 16th, '19, 21:49

Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 17:18
NWK2000 wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 13:32
Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 12:27

We then got a graphic for Rey vs. Almas which revealed that Kayla did not misspeak: WWE’s insane powers that be have decided that the “’Cien’ Almas” part of “Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas” had to go for some inexplicable reason. Normally when a foreigner loses part of their name in WWE on one of Vince’s random whims it’s the first name that disappears (e.g. Cesaro’s Antonio, Rusev’s Alexander) but Andrade instead dropped his last name, like Elias did. I guess that it’s not an American/foreigner thing in Vince’s mind so much as it is a North America/rest of the world thing.

I can see the logic with changing Andrade's name because let's break it down by syllable
An-drah-day See-en All-mas

That's seven syllables long. So, in order for the commentary team to say his name in the heat of the action, he's going to get most of his time being referred to as "Andrade" "Almas" or "Cien" anyway. Why not give him one name to avoid the confusion. Now, could they have avoided this problem by dropping the "Cien?" Yeah, and I call him Andrade Almas anyway because the Cien is just a weird nickname (or is it his middle name?) that never really fit with me anyway. But we have to remember WWE is devised for literally the dumbest people in the world, kids, so any simplification probably helps with superstar recognition anyway.
Where is it written that they have to refer to someone by their full name (never mind full name and nickname) every time they say it?
You're missing my point. If you're going to shorten his name anyway when you say it verbally, why not shorten his name in all promotional material to promote consistency and avoid confusion? And I never said it HAS to be done, in fact I would say it shouldn't in all cases. But I can see why for the sake of branding you would go for an easy-to-remember name that has somewhere between 3-4 syllables at maximum
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 16th, '19, 22:17

NWK2000 wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 21:49
Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 17:18
NWK2000 wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 13:32

I can see the logic with changing Andrade's name because let's break it down by syllable
An-drah-day See-en All-mas

That's seven syllables long. So, in order for the commentary team to say his name in the heat of the action, he's going to get most of his time being referred to as "Andrade" "Almas" or "Cien" anyway. Why not give him one name to avoid the confusion. Now, could they have avoided this problem by dropping the "Cien?" Yeah, and I call him Andrade Almas anyway because the Cien is just a weird nickname (or is it his middle name?) that never really fit with me anyway. But we have to remember WWE is devised for literally the dumbest people in the world, kids, so any simplification probably helps with superstar recognition anyway.
Where is it written that they have to refer to someone by their full name (never mind full name and nickname) every time they say it?
You're missing my point. If you're going to shorten his name anyway when you say it verbally, why not shorten his name in all promotional material to promote consistency and avoid confusion? And I never said it HAS to be done, in fact I would say it shouldn't in all cases. But I can see why for the sake of branding you would go for an easy-to-remember name that has somewhere between 3-4 syllables at maximum
Because 90% of people have both personal names and family names, so someone not having one is a little awkward, and doubly so when part of someone's name just disappears without comment.

I also refuse to subscribe to the idea that we should be dumbing things down to the point where we can't handle names of more than four syllables. Lots of people have names with more than four syllables, and most of the people who see those people on a weekly basis probably don't have much trouble remembering them.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by Serujuunin » Jan 16th, '19, 23:26

So, having not watched NXT because I’m terrible, what am I supposed to think about Nikki Cross and Heavy Machinery? Because so far Cross doesn’t look to me like she’s capable of much in the ring and if they can’t handle her character, she’s gonna go the Bray Wyatt route in a blink, and I don’t even know about Heavy Machinery...

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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 16th, '19, 23:34

Serujuunin wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 23:26 So, having not watched NXT because I’m terrible, what am I supposed to think about Nikki Cross and Heavy Machinery? Because so far Cross doesn’t look to me like she’s capable of much in the ring and if they can’t handle her character, she’s gonna go the Bray Wyatt route in a blink, and I don’t even know about Heavy Machinery...
I think your thoughts are actually more valuable without us telling you what you're "supposed" to think about them. You're the blank slate that they're presenting the characters to. You're reaction isn't colored by any sort of "but they should be done this way like on NXT instead" so if the characters are working but different, you won't be put off by it like we would.


Plus, I really couldn't put Nikki Cross into words, anyway.
Hidden text.
The best thing I can advise to understand her character would be to watch the build to her title match against Shayna Baszler, specifically starting with the main event segment on the 5/30/2018 NXT.


And Heavy Machinery were just two large dudes who loved eating meat and working out (or, as their catchphrase put it, "steaks and weights"). This abominable love child of Eugene and George "the Animal" Steele that we saw on the main roster this week feels like an entirely different person.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by Bob-O » Jan 17th, '19, 00:03

Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 22:17 Because 90% of people have both personal names and family names, so someone not having one is a little awkward, and doubly so when part of someone's name just disappears without comment.

I also refuse to subscribe to the idea that we should be dumbing things down to the point where we can't handle names of more than four syllables. Lots of people have names with more than four syllables, and most of the people who see those people on a weekly basis probably don't have much trouble remembering them.
This.

It's fine when it happens naturally, like when Rocky Miavia became The Rock. But, they do it so often now... for no real reason. I'm not going to buy into the syllable theory (although kudos for coming up with logic), because the announcers and the fans are going to call them by one name or the other anyway... like Cena or Orton. This practice of "if we're not going to call their full name more often than we do, let's just remove the part we never say anyway... they'll get over better..." is just silly. My name is Robert Reiff. I've gone by Bob my entire life, it doesn't make sense to go and change my birth certificate. People KNOW my name, they call me something else, but it still exists. WWE is saying I should change my birth certificate to "Bob", and forget the rest ever existed. That's essentially what they're doing.

By removing half the names, they are furthering these guys into a character and making them less relatable. I can relate to Luke Harper. Just "Harper" is a character and therefore fake, the connection is gone.
Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 23:34 This abominable love child of Eugene and George "the Animal" Steele that we saw on the main roster this week feels like an entirely different person.
But you HAD to have known that this is what they were going to do with him...
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 17th, '19, 01:22

Bob-O wrote: Jan 17th, '19, 00:03
Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 23:34 This abominable love child of Eugene and George "the Animal" Steele that we saw on the main roster this week feels like an entirely different person.
But you HAD to have known that this is what they were going to do with him...
I actually figured they'd just make fat jokes. I didn't think they'd turn him into someone who is mentally deficient.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by KILLdozer » Jan 17th, '19, 08:26

"Steaks and weights" is one of the best catchphrases ever btw. Right up there with "FEED! ME! MORE!"
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by cero2k » Jan 17th, '19, 08:40

Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 23:34
Serujuunin wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 23:26 So, having not watched NXT because I’m terrible, what am I supposed to think about Nikki Cross and Heavy Machinery? Because so far Cross doesn’t look to me like she’s capable of much in the ring and if they can’t handle her character, she’s gonna go the Bray Wyatt route in a blink, and I don’t even know about Heavy Machinery...
I think your thoughts are actually more valuable without us telling you what you're "supposed" to think about them. You're the blank slate that they're presenting the characters to. You're reaction isn't colored by any sort of "but they should be done this way like on NXT instead" so if the characters are working but different, you won't be put off by it like we would.
so i'm guessing she won't be part of Sanity?
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by cero2k » Jan 17th, '19, 08:41

KILLdozer wrote: Jan 17th, '19, 08:26 "Steaks and weights" is one of the best catchphrases ever btw. Right up there with "FEED! ME! MORE!"
for a caveman. I rather prefer the "Veggies and Books" one
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by KILLdozer » Jan 17th, '19, 08:55

cero2k wrote: Jan 17th, '19, 08:41
KILLdozer wrote: Jan 17th, '19, 08:26 "Steaks and weights" is one of the best catchphrases ever btw. Right up there with "FEED! ME! MORE!"
for a caveman. I rather prefer the "Veggies and Books" one
Awh yes! "I believe it was "Light Manuscripts" that said that one...
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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/15/2019 Smackdown (REY VS. ALMAS...and a whole bunch of stupid sh*t)

Post by KILLdozer » Jan 17th, '19, 08:56

cero2k wrote: Jan 17th, '19, 08:40
Big Red Machine wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 23:34
Serujuunin wrote: Jan 16th, '19, 23:26 So, having not watched NXT because I’m terrible, what am I supposed to think about Nikki Cross and Heavy Machinery? Because so far Cross doesn’t look to me like she’s capable of much in the ring and if they can’t handle her character, she’s gonna go the Bray Wyatt route in a blink, and I don’t even know about Heavy Machinery...
I think your thoughts are actually more valuable without us telling you what you're "supposed" to think about them. You're the blank slate that they're presenting the characters to. You're reaction isn't colored by any sort of "but they should be done this way like on NXT instead" so if the characters are working but different, you won't be put off by it like we would.
so i'm guessing she won't be part of Sanity?
Of course she will. She's "Sanity's twisted sister!". So they have to say that over and over again.
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