BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 19th, '19, 23:21

OPENING SEGMENT- bad
Shane comes out, but seeing as how they just showed a graphic that tonight’s main event is going to be Bryan, Orton & Joe vs. Kofi, Jeff Hardy, & AJ, I doubt we’re going to get the hyped announcement of who Bryan’s next challenger will be before the end of that match.
Shane plugs the main event, and also tells us that four NXT call-ups from last night will also be on tonight’s show. Miz came out to interrupt Shane so he could “apologize” to him, saving us from more of Shane’s dry attempts at hyping the show.
Miz starts up with the sob story and begs Shane to use his power to book a rematch. He even gets the crowd all chanting “REMATCH!” The Usos come out and say that Miz is “a joke,” “a failure,” “a loser” and many other mean names. They suggest that Shane find another partner instead. So are The Usos supposed to be babyfaces or heels right now?
Shane gets angry at The Usos for disrespecting The Miz, and just books himself and his buddy in a title match even though we have been told several times over the past two months- usually by Shane himself- that automatic rematch clauses were “antiquated” and that to receive one was to be granted a title opportunity that you did not earn. Charlotte and Becky wanted a rematch because Ronda Rousey interfered in their title match and they were told to stop whining and earn another title shot, but once again we see that Shane O’Mac will bend the rules as he sees fit, based purely on favoritism.
And while we’re on the subject of such rematches, I feel the need to point out that the wrestlers all seem to like them, champions don’t seem to have a problem granting them, and the fans love them… so why did WWE think it was a good idea to take them away?
In a wonderfully amusing twist, when Shane announced that he and Miz would get their rematch at Fastlane in Miz’s home city of Cleveland, all of the fans in the crowd who had previously been loudly chanting “REMATCH!” all started to boo because said rematch would be taking place elsewhere. That cracked me up.
Tom Phillips described this as “The Usos goading Shane McMahon” into signing this match. Tom’s not wrong, but it’s still pretty bizarre to see the heels “goad” the babyface authority figure into letting them defend their titles.

ALEISTER BLACK vs. ANDRADE “CIEN” ALMAS (w/Zelina Vega)- 7/10
A great match, especially for the time it got, and crowd was very into it. That being said, Almas getting beaten here, combined with both his and Rey Mysterio Jr.’s recent absences from Smackdown makes their burgeoning feud seem all but forgotten, with Almas feeling like he has dropped back down to that role of “guy who gets used to put the new guy over.”

After some of the history between these two men was discussed, Corey Graves noted that “this is the first time the vast majority of the WWE Universe will have the opportunity to see these two compete against one another.”
No, Corey. No, no, no. Don’t let them off the hook for not watching NXT. They all have the “opportunity” to do so. All it takes is a WWE Network subscription. Anyone who is not watching NXT or 205 Live should be doing so, and your job as an announcer is to encourage them.

KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS TOMMASO CIAMPA & JOHNNY GARGANO- Yup. They’re friends again. Sheamus & Cesaro showed up to insult them and tell them to go away. Barbs were exchanged. This should be an awesome match, when it happens.

MAIN EVENT BABYFACES BACKSTAGE- Kofi is back to doing goofy pancake sh*t. So much for the idea that they would try to capitalize on this rare opportunity to make star. Silly me for thinking it.
Kofi offered AJ and Jeff a “pancake branch” which appears to be a tree branch that he impaled some pancakes on. AJ Styles took one of the pancakes off of the branch and ate it. I’m trying really hard not make a comment about him being a dumb hick who doesn’t understand how diseases work and would thus eat something that spent a significant amount of time touching a tree-branch without washing it first, but AJ’s not making this easy on me.

SHEAMUS & CESARO vs. TOMMASO CIAMPA & JOHNNY GARGANO- 6.75/10
The match was nowhere near as good as I hoped, but was fine for the time it got, especially because of the very scary moment where it looked like Ciampa might have hurt his knee again. He seemed fully mobile by the end of the match, but it was quite worrying at the time. Ciampa pinned Cesaro with a roll-up.

KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS ASUKA- fine
How the hell was the first question out of Kayla’s mouth not “where have you been for the past month?” Asuka said she didn’t want to talk about Becky and Charlotte; she just wanted to know who her next challenger would be.
Mandy & Sonya came out, Mandy cut a promo and suddenly we had…

ASUKA vs. MANDY ROSE (w/Sonya Deville)- 4/10
Based on Asuka’s promo you’d have thought that this was going to wind up as a title match but it wasn’t. A few moments in, Lacey Evans’ music hit and she just strutted down the ramp, turned around and walked right back. Her outfits get more stereotypically southern by the day. I was really hoping that Sonya Deville would just run up to her and knock her out with a flying knee to the face but it didn’t happen.
This created a distraction which allowed Mandy to slam Asuka’s head into the turnbuckle, hit a Russian Leg Sweep and go for the cover and I will admit that there was a split second where I actually thought that was going to be the finish, but Asuka kicked out at one, got up and kept fighting.
But getting back to flying knees to the face, Mandy Rose nailed Asuka with a SICK one on the outside that led to a count-out tease. Asuka made her comeback soon afterwards and kicked Mandy’s ass for a while. Mandy got kneed in the face and screamed about what basically everyone other than the referee realized was a faked eye injury, but she managed to catch Asuka off guard after the referee pulled her back and dropped her throat into the rope, then rolled her up and pinned her.

A NEW INTERVIEWER INTERVIEWS CHARLOTTE ABOUT BECKY LYNCH- an AWESOME heel promo on the whole Becky situation and telling everyone to just deal with the fact that it’s going to be Charlotte vs. Ronda one-on-one at WrestleMania.

MIZ & SHANE MEET IN THE HALLWAY- Miz tells Shane that Mr. Mizanin will be at ringside at Fastlane.

RICOCHET vs. ERIC YOUNG (w/SAnitY)- 5.75/10
Yeah… Eric Young is not someone I would have put Ricochet in the ring with to help get his athletic abilities over. The match was… fine. Notably, Nikki Cross was not out here as part of SAnitY.

KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS THE NEW DAY- Good
Kofi did pretty much all of the talking.

KEVIN OWENS SELFIE PROMO- the exact same thing we saw last night on Raw.

DANIEL BRYAN PROMO- This was a decent heel promo, but he didn’t say anything of note.

RANDY ORTON, SAMOA JOE, & DANIEL BRYAN (w/Erick Rowan)(c) vs. JEFF HARDY, AJ STYLE,S & KOFI KINGSTON (w/The New Day)- 7/10
A fun six-man tag ending in Kofi pinning Bryan. Shane McMahon then came out and announced that Kofi would be the #1 contender. Since they had promised to name a #1 contender tonight well before the show began (never mind before the match ended), I wonder who they would have named #1 contender if Bryan had gotten the victory in this match.

A very good episode of Smackdown, both in the ring and in terms of immediately setting things up for the PPV in less than three weeks.


STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Byron Saxton- “Aleister Black represents everything that is not the status quo.”
So Aleister Black represents slavery? And a nuclear holocaust? And Osama Bin Laden being alive? And Hornswoggle being the WWE Champion? And the time before our benevolent mother-saint Stephanie McMahon declared the Women’s Evolution. Because all of those things are “not the status quo,” which is what Byron just told us that Aleister Black represents.
This Stupid Announcer Quote has been brought to you by the Committee to Encourage Announcers to Think Before Speaking.

2. Byron Saxton talked about how both The Bar and DIY were “former rivals that evolved into successful tag teams.”
Except that this is DIY’s third time teaming up since enemies and unlike The Bar, they were a successful team long before they ever feuded. I guess we can add Byron to the list of people who don’t watch NXT.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by NWK2000 » Feb 20th, '19, 08:32

Big Red Machine wrote: Feb 19th, '19, 23:21

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Byron Saxton- “Aleister Black represents everything that is not the status quo.”
So Aleister Black represents slavery? And a nuclear holocaust? And Osama Bin Laden being alive? And Hornswoggle being the WWE Champion? And the time before our benevolent mother-saint Stephanie McMahon declared the Women’s Evolution. Because all of those things are “not the status quo,” which is what Byron just told us that Aleister Black represents.
This is a contender for best BRM rant of the year, maybe of all time.
NWK Reviews is closed for business for now.

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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by cero2k » Feb 20th, '19, 09:11

Big Red Machine wrote: Feb 19th, '19, 23:21

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Byron Saxton- “Aleister Black represents everything that is not the status quo.”
So Aleister Black represents slavery? And a nuclear holocaust? And Osama Bin Laden being alive? And Hornswoggle being the WWE Champion? And the time before our benevolent mother-saint Stephanie McMahon declared the Women’s Evolution. Because all of those things are “not the status quo,” which is what Byron just told us that Aleister Black represents.
They're all things that I could totally see the WWE white wigs blame on an Occultist and Satan
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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 20th, '19, 09:55

cero2k wrote: Feb 20th, '19, 09:11
Big Red Machine wrote: Feb 19th, '19, 23:21

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Byron Saxton- “Aleister Black represents everything that is not the status quo.”
So Aleister Black represents slavery? And a nuclear holocaust? And Osama Bin Laden being alive? And Hornswoggle being the WWE Champion? And the time before our benevolent mother-saint Stephanie McMahon declared the Women’s Evolution. Because all of those things are “not the status quo,” which is what Byron just told us that Aleister Black represents.
They're all things that I could totally see the WWE white wigs blame on an Occultist and Satan
I had not thought of this.

Maybe there's an angle here where Aleister Black recovered Bin Laden's body from the bottom of the ocean and is in the process of using dark magic to reanimate him. Maybe he's trying to create an army of reanimated terrorists and serial killers and evil dictators to help him TakeOver: The World. Sh*t. Sorry. Force of habit. I meant "take over the world.."

And if this is the cases, there is only one person who will be able to oppose him
Hidden text.
PAPA SHANGO!
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by cero2k » Feb 20th, '19, 10:12

Big Red Machine wrote: Feb 20th, '19, 09:55

I had not thought of this.

Maybe there's an angle here where Aleister Black recovered Bin Laden's body from the bottom of the ocean and is in the process of using dark magic to reanimate him. Maybe he's trying to create an army of reanimated terrorists and serial killers and evil dictators to help him TakeOver: The World. Sh*t. Sorry. Force of habit. I meant "take over the world.."

And if this is the cases, there is only one person who will be able to oppose him
Hidden text.
PAPA SHANGO!
i'm not saying it's happening, but....

Hidden text.
Image
this is a legit event for April 5th

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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by KILLdozer » Feb 20th, '19, 11:39

Oh GOT-DANG! The Miz's father NEVER said he loves him and he's proud of him!!!??!

Who wrote this? Pat Patterson?!!!?
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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by KILLdozer » Feb 20th, '19, 12:19

How the helll does your women's champion become an unseen afterthought because she's not Charlotte or Becky?

Especially when she's arguably better than both...
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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by KILLdozer » Feb 20th, '19, 12:25

I'm not sure if this Shane and Miz thing is actually gonna continue as your Wrestlemania Tag Team Championship or not...
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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 20th, '19, 12:26

KILLdozer wrote: Feb 20th, '19, 11:39 Oh GOT-DANG! The Miz's father NEVER said he loves him and he's proud of him!!!??!

Who wrote this? Pat Patterson?!!!?
Yes. It's a well-known fact that Pat despises Mr. Mizanin due to Mr. Mizanin owing him several hundred thousand dollars in gambling debts from betting on curling during the 2018 Olympics, so Pat is booking this angle to make Mr. Mizanin look like a jerk.
Also, there is a rumor going around that Miz Mizanin's appearance at Fastlane is part of a plot to get him to a place where Pat can have some "friends" of his (if you know what I mean) rough Mr. Mizanin up to encourage him to come up with the money. Miz is in on it, as his dad's gambling debts horribly embarrass him, and he also thinks he can use his dad getting assaulted after a PPV as fodder for a season 2 episode of Miz & Mrs.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 20th, '19, 12:27

KILLdozer wrote: Feb 20th, '19, 12:25 I'm not sure if this Shane and Miz thing is actually gonna continue as your Wrestlemania Tag Team Championship or not...
I'm pretty sure Miz will turn on Shane at/after the next PPV. Personally, I'd love to see it somehow wind up as Shane & Mr. Mizanin vs. Miz & Vince because each father is prouder of the other's son than he is of his own.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by KILLdozer » Feb 20th, '19, 12:28

Big Red Machine wrote: Feb 20th, '19, 12:27
KILLdozer wrote: Feb 20th, '19, 12:25 I'm not sure if this Shane and Miz thing is actually gonna continue as your Wrestlemania Tag Team Championship or not...
I'm pretty sure Miz will turn on Shane at/after the next PPV. Personally, I'd love to see it somehow wind up as Shane & Mr. Mizanin vs. Miz & Vince because each father is prouder of the other's son than he is of his own.
I could see it too as almost all but obvious, but they seem to put so much into it they might go with it as the tag match.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by KILLdozer » Feb 20th, '19, 12:32

And yeah...Eric Young...idiot.

I understand not just immediately throwing Ricochet in with Rey Mysterio on his first match for free...but I know there was a better choice.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by KILLdozer » Feb 20th, '19, 12:40

Also...Vince Vaughn in the Paige Movie?

Who cares? This isn't 2005.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 20th, '19, 12:48

KILLdozer wrote: Feb 20th, '19, 12:32 And yeah...Eric Young...idiot.

I understand not just immediately throwing Ricochet in with Rey Mysterio on his first match for free...but I know there was a better choice.
Partially in their defense, all of the better choices were either Rey (who we agree is a match for Ricochet that needs to be saved because that's like a WrestleMania or SummerSlam-level match), Kofi, AJ, and Bryan (who were all needed in the main event), Andrade (who was booked against Aleister, who he is also a great opponent for) or Cesaro (who they wanted against DIY... although I think it would have been best to just book DIY against New Day or Anderson & Gallows or SAnitY, but they wanted heels who it would make sense to have a "you don't belong here interaction with them and Sheamus & Cesaro are the best choices their roster has). The other two guys who would be great first opponents for Ricochet (Mustafa Ali and Sin Cara) are both injured.

But even if the best choices are unavailable, Eric Young was probably one of the WORST choices of anyone who isn't a super-heavyweight type. Shelton Benjamin (pure athleticism, and has probably worked with enough Luchadors to have learned the basics of being a base), Big E. (probably strong enough to be a base even if he doesn't know too much of the technical side of it), or Nakamura (big name, pretty athletic, and has Lucha training) probably would have been better choices.
Harper (lots of Lucha experience) would have been a great choice, too, but they're probably keeping him off of TV for a reason.

Hell, why not give Aiden English a shot. Surely he has picked up some Lucha skills at family reunions or something, right?
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