BRM Reviews the 6/25/2019 Smackdown (boring)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 6/25/2019 Smackdown (boring)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jun 26th, '19, 21:26

SHANE MCMAHON PROMO- boring
He says hypocritical heel stuff and then warns everyone not to get on his bad side tonight because he’s so angry about Undertaker attacking him last night. Get ready for a night full of hell GM bullsh*t

KOFI KINGSOTN PROMO- no rating, dull segment
Kofi stared out extremely dull. The stuff he was saying felt extremely clichéd and scripted, and it was all stuff I could hear Michael Cole saying from the commentary table if you just switched it into the third person. He got more lively by the end, but it still felt like WWE assembly line crap.
Apparently Samoa Joe is getting a title shot at Extreme Rules because all you need to do to get a title shot is attack the champion from behind rather than win matches. Joe marks the third straight of Kofi’s challengers that this formula has been used for, and yes, Kofi has only had three challengers.
Speaking of doing the same thing all over again, f*cking Dolph Ziggler interrupted Kofi and began to whine, because in the land of WWE, getting beaten cleanly by the champion doesn’t end your title chase. Kofi looked just as bored and annoyed with Dolph’s presence as I was. Dolph talked to “WWE Management” who have booked them in a match tonight wherein if Dolph beats Kofi, he gets added to the title match at Extreme Rules. Also, it’s going to be a 2 out of 3 falls match because... umm...

ERICK ROWAN & DANIEL BRYAN ARE WALKING AROUND BACKSTAGE- The Husks pig popped up on the background. This has turned goofy and comical. They weren’t even trying to make it subtle like they did with the buzzard last night. It was just someone hiding behind an equipment case randomly holding a puppet up.

MIZ & THE DRFITER BACKSTAGE- boring
Ziggler was wildcard wrestler number one for tonight, and Miz now makes two. He wants a match with Shane because G-d forbid a feud in this company should ever f*cking end. The Drifter is guarding Shane’s door and they trade some extremely boring barbs. Miz wants another match against Shane and tells The Drifter to tell Shane this, then just leaves.
Shane soon opened the door and The Drifter relayed his conversation with Miz to Shane. Shane said he would grant Miz a match with him if Miz could beat The Drifter in a 2 out of 3 falls match. So yeah. That’s two of the same gimmick match on the same show, and both for absolutely no reason.

DANIEL BRYAN & ERICK ROWAN vs. THE NEW DAY (Xavier Woods & Big E.)- 6/10
New Day pinned the tag champs last night on Raw... so of course they’re having a non-title match tonight instead of a title match. On the bright side, wrestling during commercials is back (although them announcing two 2 out of 3 falls matches has me worried that this is only for commercials for which we get to see the match via split-screen but not for the commercials during the top of the hour matches, which are the big ones). New Day pin the tag champs cleanly for the second night in a row. This is giving me some very scary flashbacks to the pre-draft era when SD was full of pointless repetitions or erasures of what happened on Raw rather than actually advancing storylines.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Owens & Zayn (wildcard #3) run out to beat down New Day but Heavy Machinery make the save. When we come back from commercial we’re just about to start...

KEVIN OWENS, SAMI ZAYN, DANIEL BRYAN, & ERICK ROWAN vs. HEAVY MACHEIY & THE NEW DAY (Xavier Woods & Big E.)- 4/10
So yeah. They did the same exact thing they did with the women last night. This was good for the time it got, but very short. Owens walked out on his team, allowing Zayn to get pinned, so I guess we’re getting that again.

ALEXA BLISS! & NIKKI CROSS BACKSTAGE AT RAW LAST NIGHT- Nikki tells A.lexa that she has been granted a match with Bayley tonight, and if Nikki wins, Alexa will get a title shot at Extreme Rules. I don’t think another Bliss vs. Bayley match is a good idea for reasons I’ll get into later, and I greatly dislike the idea of someone earning a title shot for someone else, but in its own weird way, this does make sense in the storyline, as Nikki is now going to regain for Alexa the title shot Nikki feels guilty for costing her.

MUSTAFA ALI VIDEO- this was the same one from the PPV.

2 OUT OF 3 FALLS MATCH IN WHICH IF THE MIZ WINS, HE GETS A MATCH WITH SHANE MCMAHON: The Miz vs. “The Drifter” Elias Sampson (w/Shane McMahon)- 3.5/10
Interference from Shane helped The Drifter win the first fall in one minute... and then, predictably, we went to commercial, and the second fall did not start until we came back. They went for a couple of minutes with Miz making a comeback and hitting the Skull-Crushing Finale but then Shane attacked him for the DQ to give Miz the second fall. They beat Miz up during the entire rest period (including Shane again mocking Roman before hitting a spear), then Elias got the easy win for the third fall. The second fall here was actually pretty decent.

KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS FINN BALOR- We’re finally following up on Super Showdown three weeks later. Balor put Andrade over. Kayla asked him who his next opponent will be, at which point Nakamura walked by and Balor smiled approvingly.
BAYLEY IN-SET PROMO- not good
It was just too blunt and scripted with the Nikki/Alexa stuff.

IF NIKKI CROSS WINS, ALEXA BLISS! GETS A WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE SHOT AT EXTREME RULES: Nikki Cross vs. Bayley- 5/10
Nikki Cross is wildcard wrestler #4, taking us to the legal limit. She won a match that was good for the mere 6:50 it got. This win furthers the narrative they started in last night’s tag match of Cross doing all of the work and Bliss reaping the rewards, and a rematch between Bliss and Bayley does make sense because Nikki did affect the match at Stomping Grounds to Alexa’s detriment. I should be reacting to this by saying “oh goody. They’re following up on a storyline in a logical manner.:
But I’m not. Instead my gut reaction to this match is it is yet another feud that won’t end.
Miz vs. Shane, Miz vs. Roman, Roman vs. Drew Seth vs. Corbin, Becky vs. Lacey, Dolph vs. Kofi, Usos vs. Revival, Owens & Zayn vs. New Day. All of these feuds feel like they have dragged on for way too long. Now throw in all of the repeat angles like we have seen with Braun and Lashley doing basically the same segment on last night’s Raw to set up their match at Extreme Rules that they did on Raw last month to set up their match at Super Showdown and feuds that have been slow-rolled to the point of oblivion (Ember Moon vs. Fire & Desire), and the painfully repetitive BS with the 24/7 Title. The show feels like nothing has changed in MONTHS. We are heading into the July PPV and Becky Lynch is still feuding with the same person she was feuding with the night after WrestleMania despite the fact that Becky has won every single title match cleanly and Lacey hasn’t done jack sh*t to earn any of her title shots.
CARMELLA LOOKS FOR TRUTH BACKSTAGE BUT INSTEAD BUMPS INTO MANDY & SONYA, WHO TALK ABOUT BEATING UP EMBER MOON- This informed me that the heels cheated in this feud last week.

TRUTH, CARMELLA, & DRAKE MAVERICK BACKSTAGE- dumb
Maverick is despondent and now blames Truth for ruining his life. Truth gives him a hug and apologizes, then tells Drake that if the 24/7 Title means that much to him, he’ll let Drake pin him. A referee appears, at which point Truth shouts “PSYHCH!” and tells Maverick “I love this title more than you love your wife” and then he and Carmella run off. Then, on cue, the gaggle appears, charging down the hallway, including Shelton Benjamin running over Maverick, who just sat there despondently. The Singh Brothers were there, so they put us over the wildcard limit.

EMBER MOON vs. SONYA DEVILLE (w/Mandy Rose)- 2/10
Tom Phillips set the stage for this match by telling us that Ember “finally stood up to Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville after weeks of mind games.” I have no idea what he is talking about with these “mind games.” Then he pitched to a video package where it appeared that Ember Moon became gravely offended by Mandy & Sonya offering her donuts. Is she allergic to them or something? I skipped ONE episode of Smackdown. I should not be completely baffled about what they are talking about.
This went a really darn great eighty seconds. Sonya won after Mandy distracting Ember allowed Sonya to shove her really hard into the ringpost, then stack her up for the pin. If the end result of Dana Brooke’s misadventure is the face into the ringpost being turned into a believable finish, I fully support it. At least Dana didn’t get her face busted up in vain.

ALEISTER BLACK PROMO- intriguing
He’s clearly losing his mind. But then... someone knocked. And Aleister got a very sinister smile on his face.
What? NO! Why are you cutting away? I WANT TO KNOW WHO KNOCKED ON THE DOOR, DAMMIT!

2 OUT OF 3 FALLS MATCH IN WHICH IF DOLPH WINS, HE GETS ADDED TO THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH AT EXTREME RULES 2019: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston- 7/10
I thought it was just Tom misspeaking before, but it’s not. WWE has gone full self-parody, and now each fall of a match is referred to as a “fall opportunity.” I think Vince might purposely be trying to give Wade Keller an aneurysm. Kofi won the first fall, then got beaten up by Dolph during the rest period, resulting in a quick victory for Dolph in the second fall... so they basically repeated the same thing they did in the earlier 2 out of 3 falls match. I don’t know if they even mentioned it, but I’m pretty sure this was the first time Kofi has been pinned since winning the title.
These guys fought pretty hard and managed to overcome the dumb restrictions placed upon them by WWE’s silly execution of this gimmick and managed to have a great match. Kofi won clean.

This was a dull episode of Smackdown that reinforced the feeling of boring sameness that has been plaguing the promotion. The new directive about not having wrestling during commercials only further compounded things by forcing the uncreative minutes in WWE to do the same damn thing multiple times on this show, and badly hurt the shows by taking away the possibility of long matches.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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KILLdozer
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/25/2019 Smackdown (boring)

Post by KILLdozer » Jun 26th, '19, 23:25

Yeah...why do the hell would you cut away and make you wait to see the result of someone knocking at a door? Not to mention presumably getting into a fight as well?

That was just so weird to do lol.
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Bob-O
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/25/2019 Smackdown (boring)

Post by Bob-O » Jun 27th, '19, 05:03

KILLdozer wrote:
Jun 26th, '19, 23:25
Yeah...why do the hell would you cut away and make you wait to see the result of someone knocking at a door? Not to mention presumably getting into a fight as well?

That was just so weird to do lol.
Almost makes you want to see what happens next week, eh?
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/25/2019 Smackdown (boring)

Post by KILLdozer » Jun 27th, '19, 10:05

Bob-O wrote:
Jun 27th, '19, 05:03
KILLdozer wrote:
Jun 26th, '19, 23:25
Yeah...why do the hell would you cut away and make you wait to see the result of someone knocking at a door? Not to mention presumably getting into a fight as well?

That was just so weird to do lol.
Almost makes you want to see what happens next week, eh?
Sure, I'm ready to see who it was...but it just seemed odd to cut away from something like that until next week. Are they recap a fight that happened off camera? Or just pick up from right there literally in one week lmao.
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KILLdozer
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/25/2019 Smackdown (boring)

Post by KILLdozer » Jun 27th, '19, 12:44

Back to my earlier past theory though...that was probably Bray Wyatt. "Knock on the door!" , and "Let me in".

If not a feud maybe even a new family, idk.
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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/25/2019 Smackdown (boring)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jun 27th, '19, 17:49

Bob-O wrote:
Jun 27th, '19, 05:03
KILLdozer wrote:
Jun 26th, '19, 23:25
Yeah...why do the hell would you cut away and make you wait to see the result of someone knocking at a door? Not to mention presumably getting into a fight as well?

That was just so weird to do lol.
Almost makes you want to see what happens next week, eh?
But it's such an odd execution, given that until now these seemed like promos a frustrated Aleisiter was cutting and sending in, n ot a live feed to Aleister Black in a random room somewhere. The door seemed like it was supposed to be metaphorical. Maybe it still is and this was something he put together and we'll see him attack someone next week, but this is WWE. They're nowhere near sophisticated enough for that.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
WWE in 2005
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

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