BRM Reviews the 12/30/2022 Smackdown (disappointing)

Post Reply
User avatar
Big Red Machine
Posts: 27378
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12

BRM Reviews the 12/30/2022 Smackdown (disappointing)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 1st, '23, 15:41

BRAY WYATT’S PROMO IS INTERRUPTED BY L.A. KNIGHT- Bray comes out and starts to apologize for attacking the cameraman last week. L.A. Knight interrupted him. He did a wonderful job of making I clear that he really didn’t care about the cameraman’s well-being while still using the attack to slight Bray. He also accused Bray of paying someone to show up in the Uncle Howdy outfit (he actually said “Captain Howdy”) to allay suspicion that he was the one who attacked L.A. Knight while in the outfit a few weeks ago.
He says that Bray is a shell of his former self and a “broken-down loser,” and so he challenges him to a match at the Royal Rumble where he will “break your ass like dishes.” Only L.A. Knight could make that line work. Bray says that he needs to remind the world how cruel he can be, and accepts the match.
Then Uncle Howdy showed up on the screen and told Bray to “remember what you are” and to “embrace the darkness.” There was a video of wacky images. Then Uncle Howdy come out and got into the ring, but surprisingly turned and hit Bray with Sister Abigail. I cannot take Uncle Howdy seriously with that stupid costume (the name doesn’t help, either, but at least it has a reason for being what it is).
Look… you all know how I feel about this stuff by now. I hate it, and I was it wasn’t happening. I’m shocked that they led off with this, considering that they’re hoping to use Cena to draw lapsed fans back in (if you’re going to do something this off the wall, I’d save it to the crossover hour segment, and spend time building up some other stuff in addition to the main event to hedge against people seeing this ad deciding to just tune out because it’s goofy). That being said, I will admit that this particular segment did an effective job of hitting the beats it needed to for where the story seems to be going.

SAMMY ZAYN & PAUL HEYMAN BACKSTAGE- AMAZING!
Sami wants to get int the Bloodline’s locker room, but Heyman keeps him out in the guise of a conversation. After complementing Sami on Roman’s behalf for Sami for his declarations last week, he gives Sami some “advice.” Said advice was that with the Tribal Chief standing in the middle of the ring, the fans all chanting “SAMI! SAMI!” is not the ambiance they’re going for.
Sami asks “did he say something?”
Heyman responds “did he have to?”
Then he tells Sami that “life on the Island of Relevancy is staying three steps ahead at all times.”
Then he tells Sami to go in, and makes a joke about “no more delaying tactics.” They both laugh, and Sami goes in… and once Sami is inside, Heyman looks relieved that the conversation is over.
There are so many potential directions, here… including now a new one where perhaps Heyman’s loyalty to Roman is not absolute, and he is trying to intimate to Sami that he could split off with him if the opportunity arose.

SHEAMUS (w/Ridge Holland & Butch) vs. SOLO SIKOA (w/the Usos)- 7/10
Michael Cole noted that Sheamus’ resolution for 2023 is to win the one title that has eluded him so for: the Intercontinental Championship. That’s a decent enough way to have him go for that title and make it not feel like a demotion, although I’m shocked that we didn’t get a Roman vs. Sheamus title match first. I think having him be the one to beat WALTER would be a waste, for if they make Sheamus’ quest for the IC Title into a year-long thing and he beats the guy who beats the guy who beats WALTER, it could work.
Michael Cole also told us that Don West died, so now I’ve got to pause the show until I stop getting teary.
This was a good heel win for Sikoa.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- fine
The Bloodline attacked Sheamus after the match. The Brawling Brutes tried to help, but they got taken out, too. Solo went to break Sheamus’ neck in the corner, but Drew McIntyre’s music played. Solo had plenty of time to still hit his move on Sheamus, but didn’t, so that was nice of him. Drew made the save because the heels attacked him one at a time.

WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Ronda Rousey(c) (w/Shayna Baszler) vs. Raquel Rodriguez- 6.75/10
Shayna blatantly interfered, and she wasn’t even ejected from ringside. The story was Ronda working the arm and it was very good. I thought the finish was a clever way to slightly protect Raquel while still letting Ronda win cleanly, but Shayna interfering made the protection redundant, so why waste that finish?

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- odd
Charlotte Flair is back. Cole claimed it was a “goosebumps moment,” but it didn’t come across that way to me. Ronda grabbed a mic and immediately started to talk trash. Charlotte said she wanted a title shot tonight. Ronda just wrestled. That’s a heel move by Charlotte. Against Shayna’s very sound advice, Ronda accepts.

WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Ronda Rousey(c) (w/Shayna Baslzer) vs. Charlotte Flair- no rating, baffling segment
Charlotte won the title cleanly in forty-one seconds. This had a very WrestleMania IX feel to it, and that’s not good… but at least the booking there is understandable, with the great hero of legend returning to correct the injustice that was visited upon a babyface challenger, and with the way they had framed Yokozuna, American Hero Hulk Hogan makes for sense as the ultimate hero than Canadian Bret Hart. Here, not only is the national hero factor not present, but the entire “hero” part is missing from Charlotte. She wasn’t a babyface the last time we saw her, and she’s not anyone we have any real reason to want to see get revenge on Ronda because the last time we saw her, Ronda beat her cleanly! It doesn’t even work as a double-turn, either, because Ronda has been so far on the heel side of the line recently that merely losing her title because of her own hubris is not going to make her feel sympathetic in any way (and the announcers portrayed this as a big babyface moment for Charlotte, with no hints that we should have any sympathy for Ronda. When they went back to it, they kind of danced around the idea that Charlotte pulled the tights).

BLOODLINE BACKSTAGE- good
They’re all smiling and joking around. Then Sami tells Roman that he wants to make sure that it doesn’t bother Romann that the crowd was chanting “SAMI!” while Roman was in the ring. In the background, Paul Heyman suddenly looked very concerned. Roman didn’t react for a bit, and then laughed and said no, and put over Sami’s delivery last week. They transitioned this into building up the main event.

DOMINIK MYSTERIO & RHEA RIPLEY SHOW UP AT DOMINIK’S GRANDFATHER’S HOUSE ON CHRISTMAS EVE TO “CAUSE CHAOS”- great… until the end
Gory Guerrero is dead, so this must Dominik’s maternal grandfather. No, those jokes will never get old.
If you’re going to do this, at least portray it as video from some family-member’s Twitter account, not as a “WWE digital exclusive.”
Dominik in particular was TREMENDOUS here… until the end when he was smiling when he was supposed to be concerned. Essentially, they showed up and were jerks. Rey and Dominik (and Rhea and Angie) stepped outside because Rey and Dom were going to fight. Dom shoved Rey. Angie went to slap Dom bur Rhea blocked it, so Angle slapped Rhea. Dom held Rhea back from attacking Angie. Then the cops showed up and arrested Dominik. This was the point where Dom’s acting fell apart.

SHENANIGANS BACKSTAGE- fine
New Day made fun of Top Dolla’s botched dive from a few weeks ago. Riddick Moss, Ricochet, Mace, and Mansoor all showed up and piled on. Top Dolla eventually got annoyed and shoved Ricochet. Wade Barrett actually the best line when they went back to the announcers, which was that Ashantee and Top Dolla should change their name to “Hit Rope.”

MICHAEL COLE ANNOUNCES THAT BRAY WYATT VS. L.A. KNIGHT WILL BE A “PITCH BLACK” MATCH-
There was no hint before that there would be a stipulation, but now they add one off-screen? And it’s one that we have no idea what it is. That’s odd. And, of course, at no point did they explain to us what the f*ck it is.
Based on the name, I see two possibilities:
1. It’s a more extreme form of a dark match, where not only will it not be broadcast, but there will be no fans allowed to watch, and no cameras taping it.
2. It’s a match where all the lights will be off and no one- wrestlers, referee, or fans- will be able to see anything.
Given that Bray Wyatt is involved, I’d be fine with either of these.
Actually, it’s a “Mountain Dew™ Pitch Black” match. Sticking a corporate sponsor on a Bray Wyatt gimmick match is a great way to kill whatever cool factor people seem to think it has.

BRAUN STOWMAN INTERRUPTS IMPERIUM- good
Giovani Vinci talks up Gunther, then pitches to a video package about Gunther’s title defense. Then Braun Strowman came out and cut a promo saying that he hasn’t gotten a shot yet. He demanded a title shot. Imperium turned to walk away. Braun grabbed Gunther, which started a brawl that Braun had won, until his need to predictably do his train spot led to his undoing.
They worked over Braun’s arm. Imperium stopped officials from helping, but Ricochet ran in with a well-choreographed set of spots in the aisle to take out Vinci and Kaiser before chasing Gunther off.

When we got back from a commercial, an IC Title match was announced for two weeks from now.
They also announced two matches for next week: The Usos defending against Drew McIntyre & Sheamus (which they noted was supposed to happen a few weeks ago but Drew got injured), and a Royal Rumble qualifying match between Ricochet and Top Dolla… and G-d bless Wade Barrett for saying that Top Dolla’s problems clearing the top rope will actually be an advantage for him in the Royal Rumble.

JOHN CENA & KEVIN OWENS vs. THE BLOODLINE (Roman Reigns & Sami Zayn) (w/Paul Heyman, Solo Sikoa, & the Usos)- 7/10
In kayfabe, Kevin Owens named his son “Owen Owens.”
Cole made the point that despite how many times he has proved his loyalty and how often the idea has been brought up, Sami’s loyalty to the Bloodline hasn’t gotten him anywhere because he is still just an “honorary” Uce.
I was kind of disappointed by this. It was a basic tag match, and Cena did very little. I also really hated the double-Five Knuckle Shuffle spot. It made Owens seem like a lesser star. At least they let Owens be the one to get the win (on Sami, with the Stunner).


No promised Lacey Evans debut, I guess. Or maybe I just missed it.
For a regular episode of Smackdown, this would have been very good, but for a show that they built up, it was disappointing. The main event was a big part of it, but Ronda vs. Raquel didn’t deliver, either, and between those two things and Charlotte returning and winning the title, this felt like a show that was trying to be big rather than a show that actually was big.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 20 guests