So the Youtube video starts in the middle of this match with Rose already in the ring and the second group coming out and I'm like "What happened?". Much later, I learn that she was in the first group and eliminated everyone in short order. Anyway, this was slightly better than the abomination at DON, but this gimmick is awful. Like, just do a normal battle royale. Rose won, which was a bit surprising considering her booking so far, but alright.
Private Party (Isiah Kassidy and Marq Quen) vs. Angelico and Jack Evans - **
They did movez, no one cared about Angelico and Evans. The right team won at least.
Post-match, Evans and Angelico beat up Party.
We have a Wardlow vignette and I guess he'll be the new monster heel.
And now, the cheetahmen...
SoCal Uncensored (Christopher Daniels, Frankie Kazarian and Scorpio Sky) vs. Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy, Luchasaurus and... Marko Stunt) - **1/2
I hate Stunt in case that hasn't been obvious before. This guy just killed the JB/Lucha team because Jungle Boy really isn't a boy anymore with the tiny child around. Hell, JR kept calling him "Jungle Jack Perry" during the match. The match was fine when the little kid wasn't there.
Kenny Omega vs. PAC - ***
As usual with Omega, too long and he was "selling" and emoting like a cartoon character the entire match. PAC won in a small upset.
Darby Allin vs. Jimmy Havoc vs. Joey Janela - *
It was a hardcore match, you've seen it a billion times before and more than a few with any of those three, this is the newest on the pile.
Dark Order (Evil Uno and Stu Grayson) (w/ their slaves) vs. Best Friends (Chuck Taylor and Trent) - DUD
The crowd was dead for this match and only popped for the stupid hugging spot. Uno shushed the crowd that was dead silent. DO won and not a single fuck was given.
Post-match, the minions try to abduct Trent, but here's Cassidy with his hands in his pockets to save him. Fascinating...
Hikaru Shida vs. Riho - *1/2
They tried at least, but no one cared because Riho is mediocre and bland, and Shida got no introduction and thus no reason to care. Riho won because Olivier has a hard-on for this girl for some reason.
Post-match, Rose came back for a long distance staredown. I hope she kills Riho in thirty seconds.
Shawn Spears (w/ Tully Blanchard) vs. Cody (w/ DDP, Brandi Rhodes, MJF and... Pharaoh the dog) - **1/2
The previous line is a lie. This was "Cody vs. Tully in honor of his father or something", "THE BRAINBUSTERS EXPLODE", oh and Shawn Spears was also there I guess. It was a nonsensical, but kinda enjoyable trainwreck if that makes any sense.
Post-match, MJF teased beating up Cody with the chair, but they embraced instead. Sure, MJF will turn on him soon enough and I get the general idea of building a connection between them before the turn so it has gravitas when it happen, but MJF is such a piece of shit that even playing this faux babyface seems wrong.
The Lucha Brothers (c) (Rey Fenix and Pentagon Jr.) vs. The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) - ***
They did what everyone expected them to do, but it was the third time in four shows so I was pretty numb to it.
Post-match, not-LAX came out in masks to beat everyone up.
Adam Page vs. Chris Jericho - ***1/2
I've read pretty much everything about this match, from Jericho being exposed as a complete wash-out to Page being exposed as not ready (well, he really isn't to be fair), but I thought it was a pretty solid affair between those two. Jericho won as he should.
Excalibur TOPE SUICIDA count : 7
So... yeah. It wasn't awful, but nowhere near what it should have been.