BRM Reviews the 1/20/2021 Dynamite (Bad. Again.)

[Big Red Machine]

-1’S BIRTHDAY PARTY- horrible
This is exploitative. They are exploiting a man’s death to get the Dark Order over as babyfaces and sticking his small child on TV. And I love how Scihavone’s attitude towards the Dark Order has changed despite these people not changing their behavior one bit.
Also, apparently they’re feuding with Dr. Luther now because Brodie’s kid cut promo on Dr. Luther on Dark. Dr. Luther came out and cut a cartoon promo. If WWE had done something like this with Nicholas the tag team champion, people would be sh*tting all over it. And they’d be right to do so. Because this SUCKS.
A fight started. TH2 ran in for some reason I can’t discern. Half of the Dark Order just stood back and didn’t get involved in the fight because… um… that would make it more dramatic when Adam Page. We wound up getting…

TH2 & THE CHAOS PROJECT vs. ADAM PAGE *& THE DARK ORDER (Colt Cabana & the Beaver Boys)-
Everyone in the Dark Order comes off like a clown. Even in the ring. Negative one got to hit the Luther with a Kendo stick to save Cabana from being powerbombed through the table with the cake, so the Dork Order can’t even beat jobbers without interference. Luther’s face was sent into the cake, which would have gotten a bigger pop from me if Jim Ross hadn’t made reference to people’s faces always going into cakes on wrestling shows several times before. Yeah, we all know someone’s face is going into the cake, but it still makes it less funny when it actually happens if you keep bringing the idea up beforehand.
Page worked will with the Beaver Boys, yes, but I still don’t see why anyone would want the ostensibly cool Hangman Page to start hanging out with these clowns.
Also, does anyone remember that amazing promo Page cut about why he HAD to beat Kenny Omega at Full Gear 2020? Well, he lost cleanly, and it hasn’t affected him one bit.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
For no reason, the Dark Order held Serpentico in place so that Negative 1 could hit him in the head with the Kendo stick. Are these guys supposed to be babyfaces? Because that’s what heels do. I also really hope the Kendo stick wasn’t gimmicked in some way and they didn’t allow an untrained child to hit someone in the HEAD with a weapon. I had kind of assumed that Tony Khan was more responsible than Ian Rotten.
Then Negative 1 yelled at the rest of the Dork Order because “my birthday was three days ago you idiots!” What a little brat! It’s almost like he’s the son of an arch-villain who treated his minions like sh*t. But we’re supposed to forget that now because Brodie Lee is dead and his kid being a jerk is suddenly supposed to be lovable behavior.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT #2- also bad
John Silver tells Page how great he is and how he has nice hair, sounding like that guy at the accounting firm in Parks and Rec trying to get Ben Wyatt- the only good Wyatt in any form of entertainment- to join their firm. He gets down on one knee and asks Page to join the group. Page rejects them, but they act like he did anyway, including music playing and a “HE SAID YES!!” graphic appearing on the screen, so I guess the people in the production are in on this, too. Page is an EVP, right? He ought to walk backstage and fire their asses for this.
Page tells them that even though he has enjoyed hanging out with them, he won’t join them because “I’ve done the group thing before and it didn’t end well for me.” That’s quite the pile of bullsh*t right there. Any problems with the Elite were caused by Page’s drinking problem (which seems to have disappeared, so at least that’s good. I’m really proud of you, buddy!). When he did leave the group, it was with all of the others begging him to stay. He finally (and completely out of nowhere) told the group that he didn’t want to be the least successful member of the group, but that certainly doesn’t apply to the Dork Order, where he would be a bigger star than all of them put together.
Page got very sad and headed to the back, grabbing a bottle of booze out of Grayson’s hand on his way back, so maybe I was too soon to congratulate him on beating his alcoholism.

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS CHRIS JERICHO & MJF- a fine heel promo, with Jericho also reiterating why he thinks having this match between the three teams in the Inner Circle is a good idea.

STING CONGRATULATING DARBY ALLIN IS INTERRUPTED BY TEAM TAZ ON THE TONY-TRON- good
Props to AEW for having Darby be the one to get his entrance shown and not Sting. Sting started to talk, but was quickly interrupted by Taz and his group appearing on the Tony-Tron. He cut a good hypocritical heel prom on them and challenged them to “take it to the streets.” Sting whispered something in Darby’s ear, and then Darby told Taz to “be careful what you wish for, because it just might happen.”

FOOTAGE OF A MEETING OF THE ELITE AT KENNY OMEGA’S HOUSE- entertaining… but still bad
We start with the Bucks walking up. Alex Marvez is there. He tells them that he is here because he heard the Elite were having a meeting and asked them if that’s why they are here. They rightly deride him for being a snoop (it’s not like we’re in an arena. This is Kenny Omega’s HOUSE!)… but then invite him in anyway.
Michael Nakazawa is there… wearing an AEW button-down shirt and what appear to be AEW backstage credentials… for a meeting taking place at Kenny Omega’s house. Nakazawa invites them in… and apparently this invitation applied to Marvez and his cameraperson, too.
In Kenny’s living room they find a homoerotic oil painting of Kenny Omega and Don Callis, which we would soon learn that Callis had commissioned for Kenny’s birthday. This painting looks like it has melted a bit, so maybe Don should have gotten him a climate-controlled display case as well.
Don Callis says that Kenny isn’t here, and blames last weeks’ switcheroo on someone in the production truck. He orders Nakazawa to take Marvez and the cameraman to the “dungeon.” I will admit to laughing at this… but that doesn’t mean it was a good idea. Callis orders the cameraman to leave the camera here because “you’re not shooting in Kenny’s house,” but he doesn’t actually turn the camera OFF.
Callis tries to bribe them to stay away from Kenny but they won’t have it. They take a shot at TNA by saying that their checks are no good. I know that TNA has been behind on pay at times, but I don’t know that they’ve ever had something bounce (and especially not while the Bucks were working there), so I don’t think that shot is quite fair.
The Bucks get angry and start backing Callis towards the camera. We hear him scream as he is blocking the whole thing, and then it cuts away. There is ONE way that this makes sense, and it is if Callis screamed to make it look like the Bucks attacked him but actually had other people attack them, and this is all a trap, and has then sent the footage in to TNA to make it look like they attacked him… but even in that case, the truth should come out fairly quickly (unless the Bucks have also been abducted, but even that would also be exposed as soon as they don’t show up to work tonight).

PETER AVALON vs. CODY RHODES (w/Arn Anderson)- 4/10
Since the last time we’ve seen him, Avalon is no longer a librarian. Also, he’s been on a winning streak on Dark, as if that will make anyone find it more impressive when Cody beats him here.
Cody had apparently bragged that he would beat Avalon in under a minute. He immediately hit Cross-Rhodes… and then distracted himself for about five seconds until Jade Cargill’s music started playing (way to do your job, audio technician). The ref went to tell Cargill to go away, at which point Cody turned around into a low blow.
Avalon started working the leg, and got a fair amount of offense in it. Cody started his comeback with a Cody Cutter that was probably saved by cutting to a different angle, so good job by the director there. Cody locked on a figure-four… and Avalon tapped out because he didn’t want Cody to smack him in the face, because getting the comedy jobber’s comedy over is more important than making the main-eventer’s win feel valid.

TULLY BLANCHARD & FTR’S PROMO IS INTERRUPTED BY JURASSIC EXPRESS- weird
Jungle Boy insisted that he could beat either of these tag team guys in a singles match. Dax stood up to him and accepted the challenge and said he could win one on one. Luchasaurus said that all of them would be at ringside and said he would make sure no one interfered. If you want to make sure no one interferes, why not just have everyone barred from ringside?

JON MOXLEY vs. NICK COMOROTO- 4.75/10
Moxley got a solid win via sleeper hold with leg scissors over a guy who looked big and scary.

JON MOXLEY PROMO- This was a good generic promo, but the lack of direct challenging of Omega baffles me.

DASHA GONZALEZ INTERVIEWS EDDIE KINGSTON, THE BUTCHER, & THE BLADE- fine
Kingston is told he will face Archer next week. He starts to cut a promo but Archer interrupts him and they yell at each other. Jake Roberts shepherds Archer away, then comes back to yell at Kingston himself.

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS KENNY OMEGA & DON CALLIS IN THE ARENA- good, but…
Kenny yells at Marvez for coming to his house. I guess Nakazawa just let Marvez go.
Kenny sees a large bruise on Callis’ face. He demands to know who did this. Callis plays it up like he doesn’t want to tell but “accidentally” lets it slip that it was the Bucks. Marvez barges into the locker room to ask a question and they shoo him out.
This was very good… but we will need to get some confirmation that Kenny has no problem with Callis trying to buy the Bucks off, because that footage is now out there in the world and there is no excuse for him not to have seen it by next week’s show.

MATT SYDAL & TOP FLIGHT vs. HARDY PARTY- 6.25/10
Decent high-flying stuff. Private Party turning heel is kind of dumb because they’re still being financially taken advantage of by Matt and know it. They beat Sydal and Top Flight up after the match, too.

MJF TALKS TO THE NON-JERICHO MEMBERS OF THE INNER CIRCLE- bad
MJF says that if he were in charge they wouldn’t be fighting each other and says he knows they all feel the same way, but that they have to obey Jericho because he’s the leader. Sammy Guevara got in his face in what felt like a vert scripted way.

LEYLA HIRSCH vs. PENELOPE FORD (w/Miro, Kip Sabian, & Chuck Taylor)- 5/10
You’ve got to five Penelope credit for accepting a match a mere two weeks before her wedding. She’s risking a black eye in wedding pictures.
“Charles Taylor” is officially Miro’s butler and is dressed as such. He reluctantly tripped Leyla Hirsch when he was ordered to do so.
The heels won by cheating. Leyla Hirsch was impressive once again.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
Miro ordered Chuck to tell Orange Cassidy (who was sitting in the crowd) that Miro was now his best friend. Chuck reluctantly did so, and OC left. It’s clear that Chuck is saying this under duress, so who gives a sh*t.

KENNY OMEGA, DOC GALLOWS, & KARL ANDERSON ASSAULT PENTA EL 0M BACKSTAGE- fine
They stabbed him in the eye with the pointy to of Kenny’s boot.
My brother wanted to know why Doc Gallows’ arms were so oily. I didn’t have an answer for him.

Among other things, next week they advertised that Cody will respond to Shaq’s comments from several weeks ago. Why didn’t you get on this sooner, Cody?

For Beach Break in two weeks, they announced a #1 contendership tag team battle royale. Not only are FTR the #1 ranked team, but they are also owed a rematch (Cody’s promo after losing the TNT Title to Darby Allin established that automatic rematches are a thing in AEW). Why are we having a battle royale instead of giving FTR a title shot? Once again, AEW’s rankings appear to be completely pointless.

THE INNER CIRCLE (Sammy Guevara & Jake Hager) vs. THE INNER CIRCLE (Santana & Ortiz) vs. THE INNER CIRCLE (Chris Jericho & MJF) (w/Wardlow)- 6.25/10
They did stuff. Parts of it were not good, and it certainly wasn't main-event quality. MJF beat Sammy with a distraction from Wardlow and a handful of tights, and they went off the air almost immediately afterwards.


Another bad episode of Dynamite, riddled with the usual storyline flaws, and barely propped up by the usual bright spots (Taz, FTR).

[Thelone]

-1’S BIRTHDAY PARTY- horrible
This is exploitative.

We're slowly but surely seeing the true colors and carny nature of Tony Khan. Whatever he's doing now on Impact is what Vince did in the early 90s in Memphis (basically being Mr. McMahon way before Austin), he flat out admited that he's been signing thirty million people during the pandemic because he's so charitable (also cuts will be made when things go back to normal, but shhh), and now this shit with Lee's kid they've been parading around on shows and SoCiAl MeDiA.

[XIV]

You know when Eddie died and they got a small person over on the back of his death? Well, that small person was Rey Mysterio and had the talent and ability to merit the push that came..

Doing it with a legitimate child, is not so good. Honouring him with one moment to take away is cute, putting him in the payroll to support the family? That’s classy from Khan. But this continued use is bad. Like, just getting unwatchable.

[Big Red Machine]

I have sent this in to Todd Martin & Wade Keller for their opinions, as well as delivered on my promise in the WRPX Ruthless Aggression Era Draft to ask them about the Frozen Nazi Robot Supersolider Heidenreich pitch.

[Thelone]

Honouring him with one moment to take away is cute, putting him in the payroll to support the family? That’s classy from Khan. But this continued use is bad. Like, just getting unwatchable.

The way they did it is pretty bad I would say. AEW could have said something along the lines of "We'll do everything we can to support Lee's family during those hard times and beyond" and keep the specifics private. Of course that would also imply not actually using the kid on TV to keep this shitty faction alive.

[XIV]

Honouring him with one moment to take away is cute, putting him in the payroll to support the family? That’s classy from Khan. But this continued use is bad. Like, just getting unwatchable.

The way they did it is pretty bad I would say. AEW could have said something along the lines of "We'll do everything we can to support Lee's family during those hard times and beyond" and keep the specifics private. Of course that would also imply not actually using the kid on TV to keep this shitty faction alive.

They could have had the kid for that one off MJF spot to give him that moment, kept Lee’s contract alive for whatever period to protect family. Classy, but then they could have found someone else to lead the faction, either step up someone from within, or bring in “Erick Rowan / Redbeard” to continue leading the group.

How can you have a “cult” that is babyface? It’s stupid.

Brodie Lee would have seen the benefit in using him as the saviour / martyr and have Erick Rowan in to push the group forward in his name. It would keep Brodie’s memory alive.

Problem is now, they’ve had Brodie be the heel who leads a cult, he dies and clearly they have to play the angle that he is loving and kind, but now Dark Order is dead.

They could have alternatively abandoned the whole concept that night. Dropping the whole thing and leaving it all in the ring.

[Big Red Machine]

Abandoning it would have been the right move.

[XIV]

Abandoning it would have been the right move.

Whilst writing what I wrote, I realise that was the best thing. Go to the ring, wrestle your last match as dark order and leave your Dark Order mask or gear in the ring when you leave.

[Thelone]

Abandoning it would have been the right move.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. The Dark Order has been trash since day 1 and almost seems like a curse at this point. Wasn't Scurll supposed to be the Exalted One at first (career most likely done after the whole abuse/sex scandal thing), then Hardy (almost killed himself in a spot with some undercard goof and seemingly done as an in-ring performer), then finally Lee (well... you know)?

So yeah, let them wrestle one last time on the tribute show, keep them all away for a little while (it's not like you don't have countless jobbers to fill the card and/or kayfabe it), then reintroduce them as whatever without the DO gimmick.

[Big Red Machine]

Abandoning it would have been the right move.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. The Dark Order has been trash since day 1 and almost seems like a curse at this point. Wasn't Scurll supposed to be the Exalted One at first (career most likely done after the whole abuse/sex scandal thing), then Hardy (almost killed himself in a spot with some undercard goof and seemingly done as an in-ring performer), then finally Lee (well... you know)?

I'm pretty sure those were all speculation rather than facts. I'm sure that they had one of those guys (or Lee, who was also usually mentioned as a possibility), but nothing more than speculation has ever named anyone concretely as "the" guy.