BRM Reviews the 1/27/2021 Dynamite (not good)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 1/27/2021 Dynamite (not good)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 29th, '21, 00:47

LANCE ARCHER vs. EDDIE KINGSTON- 1/10
Lance Archer sent Jake Roberts to the back for no explained reason. I assume this will result in Jake getting assaulted by The Butcher & The Blade, like what happened when Fenix sent his buddies to the back during a match for no explained reason.
Kingston got some offense in early, but the rest of the match was just Archer beating the sh*tout of him. This included Eddie taking a chokeslam over the top rope, from which he hit his hip on the apron, and smacked onto the floor. That had to hurt.
Eventually The Butcher & The Blade came out, dragging Jake Roberts. This distracted both Archer and the referee, allowing The Bunny to come out of the crowd and give Kingston some sort of object to hit Archer with and allow him to pin him for the win. If only Archer hadn’t done something he has never done for any other match before this one, then this wouldn’t have been able to happen because Archer could keep an eye on Jake. How fortunate for the plot Kingston that this happened or the booker wouldn’t have a way to continue the feud Kingston would have lost. Everyone came out of this looking bad because Kingston’s a loser who got his ass kicked the whole time, and Archer is an idiot.
Was this supposed to get heat? Jake and Archer are heels, and this only happened because Archer was an idiot and made an out of character choice that allowed him to fall into a trap that he saw someone else fall into less than a month ago.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- The Butcher & The Blade hit Archer with a Villano-Breaker, which is apparently their finisher, according to Excalibur. Then they held Archer up for Eddie to hit him with a Backfist to the Future. This felt pointless. You already got your big heat by attacking Jake, and then got some more by having Kingston knock Archer out with a weapon. You’re not going to get any more heat by hitting Archer with more moves.
Jim Ross said that we should be impressed with Kingston’s “game plan,” which only makes sense if you assume that Eddie knew that Archer would send Jake to the back.

JON MOXLEY PROMO- fine
He is confused by the booking. He has confused me as well by talking about some match that I haven’t heard about where he is apparently teaming with the Death Triangle next week against… someone. The Elite, I assume, but he never said for sure and this is the first I’m hearing about this match.

Ah. Here is a graphic. It’s Omega, Gallows, & Anderson against Moxley, Pac, & Rey Fenix. If I were formatting this show, there would have been a recap of last week’s segment where Kenny and the Good Brothers STABBED PENTA IN THE EYE before this promo aired, as that would eliminate all confusion, as well as recap an angle that is the sort of thing that really should be followed up on early in the show, and it hasn’t even been mentioned yet (I vaguely remember Penta getting attacked, but had to look in my notes to remember exactly what happened… and most viewers probably don’t have notes from last week’s show that they’re in the habit of looking back at whenever they don’t remember something.

And now I’m confused again, as Jim Ross claimed that there was “a long history in the making” for the match-up of Jericho & MJF (w/Wardlow) vs. The Varsity Blonds. What history is there here? I’m pretty sure the Varsity Blondes were in the twelve-man tag against the Inner Circle a few weeks ago, but that’s the only interaction I remember, and it hasn’t even been mentioned since it happened.

DARBY ALLIN & STING PROMO- On balance, pretty good
This was a pre-tape in a building with cinderblock walls and holes bunched in the windows. It looked PERFECT for these two, and is the sort of place I can completely believe that Darby Allin would hang out and would invite Sting to come to cut their promo. Their delivery could have been better. But them smashing the windows in worked very well.

THE VARSITY BLONDS vs. THE INNER CIRCLE (Chris Jericho & MJF) (w/the Inner Circle)- 4.5/10
When the Inner Circle came out, Excalibur said he would show us “how we got here,” and then just showed us MJF cheating to beat Sammy Guevara last week. I don’t understand how that leads us to Jericho & MJF vs. Brian Pillman Jr. & Griff Garrison. Shouldn’t that lead us to Jericho & MJF vs. Sammy & Hager with Wardlow barred from ringside?
I see the rest of the Inner Circle has decided to come out for this match since the time the graphic was made. That’s fine, but it’s the sort of thing that I think you should either have a storyline explanation for or you should just have the graphic be correct in the first place, because it looks sloppy otherwise.
MJF cut a promo before the match. Now that he brings it up, I do remember him tormenting Griff Garrison a few months ago in a one-off segment. If either Ross or the bookers think this is enough to qualify something to be referred to as “X time in the making,” I’m going to need to have a long chat with them where I explain to them that if you want to say something is “in the making,” you need to BUILD TO IT, and doing something and then never mentioning it again for months is the EXACT F*CKING OPPOSITE of “building to” something.
Garrison started the match by slugging MJF in response to MJF’s arrogance, and we were told that Sammy Guevara was cheering when this happened.
The announcers brought up that Pillman Sr. and Jericho both trained at the Dungeon and mentioned that Pillman Jr. was also trained in Calgary by Lance Storm and said that there were “a lot of threads here,” so I was flabbergasted when no one mentioned the Storm-Jericho connection.
The babyfaces took most of the match, but Jericho hit the Judas Effect followed by a Lionsault for the clean win. The announcers seemed to suggest that it wasn’t clean because of something that happened to Garrison on the outside to stop him from breaking up the pinfall, but the cameras missed it. Sammy and MJF argued after the match, seemingly just for the sake of doing it.

PAC PROMO- This was a pretty good promo building up next week’s six-man tag, although him not mentioning Moxley at all was a little weird.

SHAQ PROMO ON CODY FROM EARLIER TODAY- bad
He had almost no intensity. He called Cody a “little punk” a lot. He also said that Cody’s hair made him “look like a little girl,” which was a baffling statement.

CODY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS CODY- bad
Cody explained that he wanted to team with Brandi against Shaq and Jade Cargill, but can’t because Brandi is pregnant. The crowd chanted “BABY-DADDY!” at him, and he responded that “only in AEW do you get a ‘baby-daddy’ chant,” so I guess he wasn’t paying attention to TNA during the whole Claire Lynch fiasco.
Cody briefly acknowledged that he didn’t take Avalon seriously enough last week and that Arn yelled at him for it, which is the first time Arn’s presence as a “coach” has been relevant in forever.
Cody passed the mic over to Arn, who droned on for a long time. He then called Red Velvet down to the ring to cut a promo on Jade Cargill and offer herself as Replacement Brandi.
Red Velvet said she was tired of Brandi being “disrespected” by the supposedly cowardly Jade who supposedly “knows” that Brandi “can’t defend herself.” While that last part is true, I have to point out that Brandi is the one who has come off A LOT more disrespectful to Jade in this feud (and to Shaq, too) than Jade has to her. Red Velvet told Jade “I’m about to stir your bitch-ass up.” I don’t totally know what that means.”
Red Velvet had good intensity, but Brandi’s behavior makes it hard for me to see as someone whose honor I should care to see defended, and Arn was just plain boring. I feel a little bad saying it because a lot of the issue was that he was given the spot of having to dramatically convince Cody to do something we all knew Cody was going to do in the end anyway and present Cody with a solution so obvious that Cody looks like an idiot for not thinking of it on his own, but a lot of the things Arn talked about was completely irrelevant. As Arn himself pointed out, his telling Cody that Dusty wrestled a grueling match at the LA Colosseum and then flew home to be there in time for Cody’s birth was completely irrelevant to this situation because Brandi’s due date is months away from the proposed date of the match.
Thinking about this segment, I think the best way to do this would have been to not include Arn at all, but rather to have Cody come out with Brandi and himself raise the issue that he would never hit Jade and thus say he can’t do the match without Brandi and have Brandi then tell him to team with Red Velvet instead. Brandi finding and vouching for her own replacement creates this sort of personal situation and makes it feel more immediate, whereas if Arn has come up with the idea of Cody teaming with Red Velvet (who already has problems with Jade and is already Brandi’s friend), it makes Cody look kind of stupid for not coming up with it because- lacking a better term- he has some distance from Brandi, whereas if Brandi is right there with him, it would explain why Cody would be more focused on Brandi’s specific inability to be his partner rather than the generic problem of not having a partner. I hope I’ve done a good job of explaining this.

KIP SABIAN & PENELOPE FORD VIDEO (AND ALSO RUSEV AND BUTLER CHUCK TAYLOR WERE THERE)- bad
My brother said that he likes that Rusev seems to be having fun.

ADAM PAGE vs. RYAN NEMETH- 5/10
Matt Hardy came to ringside to cheer on Adam Page in an attempt to recruit him. I was kind of hoping that he would interfere to help Page win, and that WWE would then quietly announce Jeff Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler on the Royal Rumble pre-show without ever making any sort of acknowledgement that they were booking a follow-up to AEW’s angle.
Page won clean. Matt left, but Page called him back. Tony Schiavone then headed to the ring for a…

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Matt says he wants to be here for Page and wants Page to know that he’s here for him. Matt says that the Bucks and Kenny “burned” Page at the Stadium Stampede, which really isn’t true. Page was doing the burning there. Then again, Matt is a heel, so him lying to get in Page’s good graces makes sense. Matt notes that Page is dressing alone in the hallway, which is weird because I assume that even if he doesn’t want to dress with the Elite, there is some sort of communal locker room, that even the loners dress in. Anyway, Matt invites Page to dress in his big, fancy locker room. Tony Schiavone, being an idiot, suggests that the clearly vulnerable Page should take this manipulative heel up on his offer. Tony Schiavone is SOOOOO dumb.

DAX VS. JUNGLE BOY VIDEO PACKAGE-
Jungle Boy said that the handcuffs were “the only way to neutralize their numbers advantage.” Isn’t it 3 vs. 3? Or does Mark Stunt not count because he’s small?


TULLY BLANCHARD & CASH WHEELER ARE HANDCUFFED TO LUCHASAURUS AT RINGSIDE: Dax Harwood vs. Jungle Boy- 7.5/10
The stated purpose of this stipulation was to prevent any interference. If that’s the case then why isn’t Marko Stunt handcuffed to anyone? He interferes in matches unprovoked all the time! And if you want to prevent interference, why do you have these guys at ringside? Why not handcuff them all to some pipes in the bowels of the building, far away from the ring?
Well… at least Luchasaurus sat down a reasonable distance away from the ring instead of roaming around ringside.
Jungle Boy won a GREAT match cleanly, with no interference at all. Well… I was skeptical, but the stipulation worked.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- good
As soon as he and Cash were free of the cups, Tully threw powder in Luchasaurus’ eyes and they ran him into the post. They beat up Jungle Boy, then Tully went up for a… well… it was supposed to be a Spike Piledriver but it wound up looking more like something else, but that something else still looked like it hurt Luchasaurus, so that was fine. Then they handcuffed Luchasaurs to the ropes and cut his horns off. If you’re hitting the guy with Spike Piledriver, you really shouldn’t need to handcuff him. He should already be out.
They then went to cut Jungle Boy’s hair but Marko Stunt ran out with a chair and he was soon backed up by other babyfaces! Hooray for babyfaces being good people and making the save! I’ve been calling for this for well over a year now and AEW finally did it.

TEAM TAZ ASSAULT THE MERCH PEOPLE FOR ONLY HAVING STING AND DARBY ALLIN MERCH AND NO TEAM TAZ MERCH- bad
There should be serious consequences for this, but I’m sure there won’t be. Also, it’s extremely coincidental that the merch table that Team Taz just happen to be walking by only has merch for two guys, and those two guys are the two they are feuding with. Taz was good, but not good enough to make up for the rest of this.
Remember when Cody was feuding with these guys and it was supposedly very personal? It’s nice to see that that went somewhere.

SHANNA vs. DR. BRITT BAKER, DMD (w/Rebel)- 5/10
Dr. Baker won after a distracting from Rebel.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- snore
Britt attacked Shanna. She screwed up the first attempt a Curb Stomp before doing it right the second time. She locked in the Lockjaw but Thunder Rosa ran out to make the save. This was one of those segments where it felt like the heel attacked the opponent after the match because the booker needed a reason for the babyface to come out to make the save to build up to their match, rather than the heel attacking the opponent for any organic reason.

The names “Terrence & Terrell Hughes” caught my name on the Dark ticker (they lost to SCU). That has to be Devon Dudley’s kids, right? I’m not sure if those are their real names, but those the names that were used for them on TNA TV in their few appearances (and if those aren’t their real names, props to them keeping them as they embark on their pro wrestling careers and keeping the kayfabe from company to company).

MJF AND SAMMY GUEVARA BACKSTAGE- okay
MJF insists that he didn’t tell Wardlow to get involved last week, and that he has docked Wardlow’s pay for it. Sammy isn’t buying it, and tells MJF he knows what he’s up to. MJF responded to this by asking Sammy “are you sure you want to play it this way.” It seems like MJF’s jig should be up the moment Jericho sees this footage. Sammy was good here, but MJF’s slip-up in front of a camera feels that something that shouldn’t happen to someone as crafty as he is.

DASHA INTERVIEWS THE YOUNG BUCKS AND THE GOOD BROTHERS- bad
Gallows & Anderson came across like their clowny WWE selves, including a refence to “BEAT UP JOHN CENA!” This is the complete and total opposite of how I would have presented these guys if I was AEW.
The Bucks said they were happy to team with them, so long as Don Callis stayed away. This, to me, solidifies the Bucks as heels. Gallows & Anderson debuts ASSAULTING THEIR EMPLOYEES, and they are perfectly happy to team with them? That’s heel sh*t right there. If their only caveat is Callis, who they have a person beef with, that’s selfish. They are looking out solely for their own good and happy to let their employees get assaulted. This means that, by my count, Moxley, Sting, Darby, Luchasarus, Adam Page, and Jungle Boy are the only babyfaces in the company above the bottom of the midcard, and Page is verging on unpalatably pathetic.
Kenny Omega showed up to make sure there were no problems. Don Callis showed up with a bandage on his face and the Bucks yelled at him but Kenny got between them. I feel like if the Bucks didn’t actually attack Don Callis last week, they should have put out some sort of statement this week saying so, just because of how it is clear from last week’s show that Callis is trying to frame them. When people are innocent of doing something that they are accused of doing, they usually want people to know about it.

THE YOUNG BUCKS, DOC GALLOWS, & KARL ANDERSON vs. THE DARK ORDER (Alex Reynolds, John Silver, Evil Uno, & Stu Grayson)- 6/10
They did moves. The Bucks and Good Brother worked together fine.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- didn’t like it
The Bucks announce that they have been inserted into the #1 contendership battle royale next week even though they are the champions. If they win, they will be allowed to hand-pick their challengers. It was strongly hinted that we should want to see them pick the Good Brothers. This booking decision feels like it was made specifically for the purpose of furthering this one storyline in a specific way, which makes it all feel fake because there is no real logic in-universe reason for this stipulation to be added.
Fenix showed up and attacked the Bucks but got beaten up by the Good Brothers. Moxley attacked the Good Brothers, and also managed to hit Kenny Omega with the Paradigm Shift when Kenny came out to attack him. I would probably have been okay with this in a vacuum, but coming after the Bucks’ announcement, this once again feels like something orchestrated by a booker to build to next week’s match rather than organic attacks. I mean… shouldn’t all of the other people the Good Brothers beat up want to get revenge on them, too? Where are the Varsity Blondes and whoever else got beaten up a few weeks ago?

This was another bad episode of AEW. Even Team Taz wasn’t good this week. It’s such a shame seeing so much talent go to waste due to the arrogant incompetence of the Creative forces in the company. We already have one major company like that (and possibly a second in Ring of Honor). We didn’t need another one.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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