BRM Reviews the 4/21/2021 Dynamite (what the f*ck was that sh*t?!)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 4/21/2021 Dynamite (what the f*ck was that sh*t?!)

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 22nd, '21, 19:50

ADAM PAGE vs. RICKY STARKS (w/Hook)- 7/10
Starks cut a great inset promo. Taz was on commentary for his match.
Twice during this match, Jim Ross emphasized that getting to the top required winning matches like this one “on live, global television.” I thought this was a bad thing for him to say for two reasons. The first is that it sounds very old-fashioned to emphasize that; like it comes from a time when live sporting events were some kind of novelty and TV was still mostly regional. It’s the sort of thing that we used to hear from ROH a lot in the dark days of Kevin Kelly and Steve Corino on commentary that I thought made them feel small to be emphasizing something so trivial.
The second reason it was bad is that it really doesn’t seem to be true. Every week there is at least one person who shows up on TV and is extremely highly ranked with some great record, and it feels completely out of nowhere because we don’t see it on TV. Ricky Starks is going into this match at 10-1 (only one worse than Adam Page’s 11-0), and I can’t remember the last time I saw him win on TV. I went to Cagematch.net and checked. It was two months ago. And his win on TV before that? Three months before that. And those are his only wins on TV in his ENTIRE TEN-MONTH RUN IN THE COMPANY. Everything else has been on Dark. And none of his wins on TV have been singles matches, either. So you clearly DON’T need to win on TV to get to the top.
Page won a great match clean with a Saka Otoshi plus grabbing Starks injured ankle.

POST-MATCH SEMGNET- good
Taz distracted Page, allowing Hook to take out his knee. Team Taz beat Page down. Brian Cage came in to go for a powerbomb but the Dark Order chased the heels off.

THE ELITE HAVE ARRIVED- whatever
Brandon Cutler is randomly their cameraman now. I caught Dave Meltzer’s recap of BTE so I know that the Young Bucks’ threatened him or something… and I guess none of the other EVPs gave enough of a sh*t to tell him that he won’t be fired if he disobeys them? Why do they even need a private cameraman?
They are going into their own private trailer, which Excalibur says is a perk of working for Don Callis. Wasn’t Omega already shown to have his own trailer in that terrible segment early on in show’s run where Orange Cassidy was randomly hiding in the bathroom eavesdropping on him and Michael Nakazawa? And could the Young Bucks and Kenny Omega- EVPs of the company- not get their own trailers without Callis’ help?


TRENT? (w/Orange Cassidy) vs. PENTA EL 0M (w/Alex Abrahantes)- 5.5/10
Why is Trent still using a question mark at the end of his name? This is the sort of goofy bullsh*t that makes it hard to take people seriously.
Penta cut a decent inset promo before the match. They did a bunch of big moves. Trent hit a piledriver on the apron, at which point Alex Abrahantes grabbed a mic and cut a lame promo on Trent to buy time for Penta to recover. This ended with him telling Trent that Penta says his mom sucks, so Trent went berserk and grabbed a chair. Trent chased Alex into the ring, but was stopped from following him in by referee Rick Knox, even after Trent had dropped the chair. This was done so that Alex could be confronted by Orange Cassidy, who… put his hands in his pockets at him. That was stupid.
Penta then superkicked the moron in the back of the head, so at least he got what he deserved. I should not be living vicariously through the heel.
Trent finally just ignored Knox and got into the ring anyway. Knox went to check on the fallen OC, allowing Abrahantes to hit Trent in the head with a microphone without Knox seeing. Penta then hit the Package Piledriver for the win.
This whole angle was stupid, and it’s not just the Orange Cassidy crap (what was your plan, dude? How does putting your hands in your pockets help anyone in any way?), or the fact that they had to have Knox detain Trent for no reason for a long time to set it up (which is Trent’s fault for dropping the chair too soon). The whole tone of the thing was off. Insulting someone’s mother can work, but not when the delivery and the reaction are so over the top, which was the problem here. Abrahantes’ tone was far too cartoonish, like he was building up dram to this big insult, which was just an extremely childish “your mom sucks,” and Trent’s response felt like an overreaction as well. He didn’t say “your mom is a whore” or claimed to have slept with Trent’s mom or alleged that she was some sort of pedophile or fraudster or anything like that. He said “your mom sucks,” “X sucks” really isn’t something to get upset about. It’s pretty low on the scale, so Trent grabbing a chair and trying to chase this guy down felt like an overreaction.

J.R.’S SIT-DOWN INTERVIEW WITH THE INNER CIRCLE-a mixed bag
Wardlow gave MJF a new scarf on behalf of Tully Blanchard. Who cares?
Someone else noticed that Jericho screwed up his line on Wardlow, and Wardlow cut his own great little promo on this.
MJF saying that Jericho “wrestle(s) a bunch of A’s so that he doesn’t look like a B” is the sort of thing that doesn’t make sense in kayfabe. In kayfabe, a “B” wrestling an “A” should lose most of the time, so how does doing so benefit Jericho? That was the worst of it, it was not the only thing MJF said that was a “shoot” shot at Jericho rather than one that works within kayfabe.
Once MJF started saying things that actually made sense in kayfabe, this got great… but in a way that made MJF feel like the babyface, because he was completely right: If Jericho is saying that MJF needs to prove himself by beating undercard guys but MJF has already beaten Jericho, then that makes Jericho even more of a loser.


AEW WORLD WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Hikaru Shida(c) vs. Tay Conti (w/the Dark Order)- 6.75/10
They played a great video package before the match. The match was very good, but was kept from being great by the fact that they seemed to be moving a step slower for many of the bigger spots, as if they were trying to make sure that they got them right.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- fine
Britt Baker came out and claimed via graphic that she should now be ranked #1.

MIRO PROMO- There’s the Miro I know and love! He had me rolling when he called Sting Darby Allin’s “emo facepaint daddy.”

INNER CIRCLE PROMO- bad
Jericho throws non-kayfabe criticisms at MJF and his promos. Santana said that FTR has been calling LAX out but didn’t act on it until they had a group behind him, which he calls a “bitch move.” This is coming from a guy who has been rolling with a group his entire time in AEW.
Jericho got the mic back and ranted more. He wants to have a “parlay” next week, so everyone can cut promos on each other face to face. I don’t see why I’m supposed to care about this. They cut promos on each other all the time, and they’re already scheduled to fight in this big cage match in two weeks, so it really isn’t much of a draw that they might start fighting, either.

BILLY GUNN vs. Q.T. MARSHALL (w/the Factory)- 2/10
Billy Gunn is 9-0 this year and hasn’t lost in his past 17 matches. F*cking BILLY GUNN is on a streak and undefeated. And his streak is only three wins short of Adam Page’s, and Page is ranked #1, so why isn’t Billy ranked?
So f*cking BILLY GUNN gets booked in a singles match against Q.T. before Cody does? This is the sort of thing that wouldn’t be a problem except that 1) CODY IS AN EVP OF THE COMPANY, and 2) Q.T. WANTED TO WRESTLE CODY IN A COMPETITIVE MATCH! What’s the hold-up with getting the big singles match booked? It’s clearly not on Q.T.’s end, so the only explanation I can come up with is that Cody is a coward (after all, he was willing to wrestle one of Q.T.’s students at The House Always Wins, so why isn’t he willing to wrestle Q.T.? (And if the answer to that is “because he’s injured,” then they should F*CKING TELL US THAT!)
Before the match we got a promo from the Factory where Ogogo said he was only in the US to make money. I guess that’s supposed to explain why he’s not at ringside tonight when he was hiding in the back to come out later and interfere for the finish. The problem with that is that it assumes that they thought that Billy’s kids would be with him and that there was a plan for the other two to brawl away with them, but if you’re counting on a brawl, why would you not just have it be three on two in your favor to start with (and especially when the guy you’re holding in reserve has a super-punch)?
Schiavone said that Q.T. “now has a delusion that he’s like a Tony Soprano.” What? Where the hell is this coming from? I have seen no evidence of this.
Billy beat Q.T. up a lot. The students interfered to give Q.T. an advantage, at which point the Junior Gunns came out to brawl away with them. Billy quickly recovered and made a comeback, but was felled when Ogogo came out to hit his superpunch.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- idiotic
Ogogo hands Q.T. a random wacky wooden chair that was under the ring. Q.T. takes f*cking forever to get ready to hit Billy with it, so Dustin has enough time to run out with a bullrope and make the save. Dustin proceeds to beat the sh*t out of Q.T., while Anthony Ogogo just stands there and watches. You know… because Anthony Ogogo would never interfere in a one-on-one fight. Oh. Oops.
Dustin is about to whip Q.T. with the bullrope but decides to get a chair instead, giving Q.T. time to roll out of the ring. NOW Ogogo decides to get involved, hopping up onto the apron. This is only a distraction, though, to allow Nick Comoroto to sneak up behind Dustin. The heel Comoroto is nice enough to try to turn Dustin around before trying to hit him, allowing Dustin the time to duck his punch. Dustin then smashed the chair over Comoroto’s head but Comoroto no-sold it. And only NOW do the f*cking referees run out to try to stop the fight, showing once again that security and referees in AEW only try to break things up when the plot requires it.

MOXLEY & KINGSTON ATTACK THE ELITE’S TRAILER- TERRIBLE!
They call out Moxley and Kingston in a patience-testing way. Right when Kenny says he’s going to be serious, someone starts honking a horn constantly. Someone else apparently has a camera outside to reveal that this person is Jon Moxley, in a pickup truck with Eddie Kingston. They then rammed the trailer, hopped out of their truck, and Moxley grabbed a pipe, which he walked around, banging the trailer with. He broke a window, then they went inside… and it turns out that the Elite aren’t actually in there.
SO WHERE THE F*CK ARE THEY, THEN?! The only possibilities are:
1. They used magic to teleport out.
2. They are in another trailer that is nearby, but Kingston and Moxley somehow don’t see it.
3. They are in another trailer that is nearby, but Kingston and Moxley are too lazy to go check it.
4. The Elite recorded this earlier, but it JUST SO HAPPENED that when they were recording it, someone also came by and started honking, and they decided to not reshoot it for no explicable reason, even though they had no idea Moxley and Kingston would be coming by in a truck when their promo was airing.
“Bitch AF” indeed Moxley. This booking is bitch AF.

TEAM TAZ IS BARRED FROM RINGSIDE: Will Hobbs vs. Christian Cage- 5.75/10
Taz is on commentary for this match. He announces that he and Tony Khan negotiated a match between Adam Page and Brian Cage for next week.
Christian won clean. Not much else to say here. Ricky Starks (still selling his ankle from before) came out to check on Hobbs. Brian Cage did not.

VIDEO ABOUT MANAGERS COURTING JADE CARGILL… BUT JADE SAYS SHE DOESN’T NEED ONE, SO IF YOU WANT HER, YOU’D BETTER OFFER A LOT OF MONEY- GREAT!

AEW TNT TITLE MATCH: Darby Allin (c) (w/Sting) vs. Jungle Boy (w/Luchasaurus)- 7.25/10
Jungle Boy is ranked #3, which once again feels completely out of nowhere. He is getting a title shot because Darby Allin asked fans on social media who he should defend his title against, and fans picked Jungle Boy.
I liked Excalibur saying that this match got the main event spot and the women’s title went on earlier because that title has a sixty-minute time-limit so it had to go on earlier (as opposed to just the “TV time remaining” for the TNT Title), but he could have done a better job of explaining it.
There was a spot where the announcers framed it as Luchasaurus helping Jungle Boy back into the ring just in the nick of time, but the referee’s count was only at nine. Doesn’t AEW use a twenty-count? Either way, what Luchasaurus did was still wrong, so I have not issue with Sting taking exception to it. I also think that, given the situation, Sting was justified in interpreting Luchasaurus putting his hand on Sting’s shoulder as an imminent threat (Luchasaurus is known to use the chokeslam, and the neck and shoulder aren’t very far apart) and thus justified in attacking him. They brawled to the back in a relatively forced manner, leaving Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy alone.
The match was the big stuff you’d expect with these two involved. It was interesting to see Darby not playing the underdog. Darby Allin got to the ropes while caught in the Snare Trap. I’m not sure if this counts as him being the first person to break the hold. Luchasaurus then locked in a Hangman’s Clutch, but the announcers stilled called it as if it were the Snare Trap. Darby pulled the hair to get out and won with the Last Supper.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- fine
Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page attacked Darby after the match. Lance Archer to out to make the save for some reason but got kicked in the nuts. Sting came back with his baseball bat to chase the heels off. I guess Archer is either turning babyface to earn Sting’s respect or he’s faking it to gain Sting’s trust before attacking him.

This was another bad episode of Dynamite, despite some very good wrestling. The booking of the big feuds just… well… it f*cking sucks. That segment tonight was atrocious. It feels like they had an idea, but realized that they wrote themselves into a corner, and instead of trying to fix it, they just gave up and used a deus ex machina.


STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Tony Schiavone (after a Trent somersault senton suicida)- “Do you really think a move like this is wise for someone that’s coming off a pectorial injury?”
Yes, he said “pectorial” and not “pectoral,” but that’s not why this is here. It’s a dive where you’re not really using you’re arms much. Sure, you move them to make yourself more aerodynamic, but a freakin’ pec is the body part I’d be LEAST concerned with on a dive.

2. Not to be out-done by his good buddy, Ross responded to the above by saying that “the move was beautiful in execution, but it didn’t get the job done as far as when he rolled him back in the ring, there was no pin.”
Well by that logic, why try anything that isn’t a killshot? Here’s a tip for any announcer: If the criticism you are about to make can apply to 99% of the moves in a match, don’t say it.

3. Ross continued his shoveling coal into the engine of the stupid train of thought, saying “sometimes high risk doesn’t equal high reward.”
That’s true… but it’s really hard to argue that in this case. It’s not like the move missed! Sure, he didn’t get a pin afterwards, but as I said above, that’s true of most moves. The dive happened, and it seemed to take more out of Penta than it did out of Trent, so how is that not beneficial to Trent?

2. & 3. Addendum- Yes, I realize that Ross’ comments can be interpreted as criticizing the psychology of the fact that Trent hit this big dive and rolled Penta back into the ring, and then Penta was able to reverse the first thing that Trent did. I don’t even disagree that it’s not very good psychology. But the job of an announcer is to enhance the match, not critique it, so DON’T POINT OUT THE MATCH’S FLAWS ON THE F*CKING AIR!

4. Ross suggested that Ogogo’s superpunch which felled Billy Gunn might have been a kidney punch.
The kidneys are located in the back. Ogogo punched Billy in the stomach.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Thelone
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Joined: Jul 9th, '19, 16:22

Re: BRM Reviews the 4/21/2021 Dynamite (what the f*ck was that sh*t?!)

Post by Thelone » Apr 24th, '21, 08:42

Big Red Machine wrote: Apr 22nd, '21, 19:50 ADAM PAGE vs. RICKY STARKS (w/Hook)- 7/10
Starks cut a great inset promo. Taz was on commentary for his match.
Twice during this match, Jim Ross emphasized that getting to the top required winning matches like this one “on live, global television.” I thought this was a bad thing for him to say for two reasons. The first is that it sounds very old-fashioned to emphasize that; like it comes from a time when live sporting events were some kind of novelty and TV was still mostly regional. It’s the sort of thing that we used to hear from ROH a lot in the dark days of Kevin Kelly and Steve Corino on commentary that I thought made them feel small to be emphasizing something so trivial.
The second reason it was bad is that it really doesn’t seem to be true. Every week there is at least one person who shows up on TV and is extremely highly ranked with some great record, and it feels completely out of nowhere because we don’t see it on TV. Ricky Starks is going into this match at 10-1 (only one worse than Adam Page’s 11-0), and I can’t remember the last time I saw him win on TV. I went to Cagematch.net and checked. It was two months ago. And his win on TV before that? Three months before that. And those are his only wins on TV in his ENTIRE TEN-MONTH RUN IN THE COMPANY. Everything else has been on Dark. And none of his wins on TV have been singles matches, either. So you clearly DON’T need to win on TV to get to the top.
I would say it was almost a shoot comment from Ross that matches on Dark/Elevation don't really count and to be fair to AEW for once: Starks was only 2-0 in singles this year (and yeah, 10-1 overall) so Ross' comment did make sense in kayfabe here. They probably should only show the relevant record on the chyron though, so it's not confusing for viewers at home (overall and all-time are kinda pointless anyway).

I'd be curious to see actual records of everybody on the roster I gotta say. I'm sure I could find them if I spent five seconds on Reddit or something, but I can't imagine even the biggest jobbers (but are they still jobbers then? *dundundun*) having such bad records when they have THIRTY squashes/enhancement matches every week on Youtube.
TRENT? (w/Orange Cassidy) vs. PENTA EL 0M (w/Alex Abrahantes)- 5.5/10
Why is Trent still using a question mark at the end of his name? This is the sort of goofy bullsh*t that makes it hard to take people seriously.
It's supposedly a reference to some joke from early NXT almost a decade ago. Also, are the Biesse Friends & Co. even that over nowadays? I guess putting Expired Fruit with the Hugging Idiots helped them stay relevant for a while because they already weren't that over in the early days (except for the hugging spot), but now that the bloom is off the rose with OC (and the Alien is... there), how long until AEW fans get bored of their unfunny... everything because they've seen it five billion times now?
BILLY GUNN vs. Q.T. MARSHALL (w/the Factory)- 2/10
Billy Gunn is 9-0 this year and hasn’t lost in his past 17 matches. F*cking BILLY GUNN is on a streak and undefeated. And his streak is only three wins short of Adam Page’s, and Page is ranked #1, so why isn’t Billy ranked?
Like the first match, Gunn was only 1-0 in singles before this match, but you can make the point with QT who was 5-0(-1?) and not ranked despite having a better record than #5 PAC. And before someone starts arguing about the quality of opponents or whatever, Hobbs was #4 this week with a 6-0 record, all six of them being squashes against nobodies on Youtube.
MOXLEY & KINGSTON ATTACK THE ELITE’S TRAILER- TERRIBLE!
Can't they just keep those two away from each other and knock it off with Stone Cold Moxley already?
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- fine
Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page attacked Darby after the match. Lance Archer to out to make the save for some reason but got kicked in the nuts. Sting came back with his baseball bat to chase the heels off. I guess Archer is either turning babyface to earn Sting’s respect or he’s faking it to gain Sting’s trust before attacking him.
I don't understand what they're trying to do with this Sky/Page pairing. Apparently, they've been pushing them as a team on the Youtube shows, but they keep being around Allin and Sting, and Archer... is also there.

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