BRM Reviews the 3/18/2022 Rampage (dull)

[Big Red Machine]

DARBY ALLIN (w/Sting) vs. THE BUTCHER (w/The Blade & The Bunny)- 4/10
The Butcher dominated Darby until Darby made a quick comeback and won via count-out after a big Coffin Drop on the outside.
Yes, Darby sold very well, and looked tough making his comeback. Yes, the finish was very clever, and was a rare example of how you can do a count-out while making it feel truly decisive.
But what did this do for anyone? We already knew that Darby was tough, and getting so dominated by an undercard geek like The Butcher hurts him more than looking tough and beating The Butcher helps him.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- more of the same
Adrade came out and caused a distraction, allowing private Party to attack Sting and Darby through the crowd. The other heels all joined in. The Hardys came out and made the save. Matt issued a challenge for a match right now, and heels did the pointless WWE thing where they head back to the ring and tease accepting it but then back down. Matt then made a challenge for an eight-man tornado tag against Private Party and The Butcher & The Blade on Dynamite, and the segment ended without us hearing one way or the other.
This whole thing was completely unnecessary, and thus a waste of time. If the heels are going to accept the challenge, then you could have gotten there by just saying “Tony Khan has booked this match for Dynamite.” If the heels are going to decline or make a counter-offer, you can just have the announcers tell us that Matt made the challenge at the beginning of the segment where the heels decline/make a counter-offer (or if they’re going to decline off-screen, then the challenge can be made off-screen as well, and the announcers can just recap it for us).

SCORPIO SKY, DAN LAMBERT, & PAIGE VANZANT PROMO- mostly good
I don’t like Lambert claiming to be the “co-champion.” Sky was good, as was VanZant, who said that she looks better than any woman could hope to, fights better than any man could hope to and claimed to “print more money than the federal reserve” (she must have been trained by Kendall Winham). She ended by saying that we can hop about the Paige VanZant train “or you can get ran over.” Apparently she doesn’t know grammar better than any man or woman could hope to.

LEYLA HIRSCH vs. RED VELVET- 5.75/10
They started off brawling on the ramp, which Red Velvet won with a vertical suplex. Red Velvet then dragged Leyla to the ring officially start off what would become a very good brawl and suplex-fest. Leyla tried to bring a turnbuckle piece into the ring, but Statlander yanked it away from her, allowing Red Velvet to hit her finisher and get the win… which is exactly how Leyla lost her match against Thunder Rosa on Dynamite last week, too, except with Red Velvet in Statlander’s spot. The babyfaces have now caused Leyla to lose two matches, including one to Red Velvet right here. There doesn’t feel like there is much revenge left for Statlander to get. Leyla needs to get some major heat next week.

Q.T. MARSHALL PROMO/VIDEO PACKAGE- whatever
Aaron Solow was in the background to be a goof. Apparently someone thought that we needed to pause this serious promo for a “young people don’t know who Bruce Springsteen is” joke. Q.T. says he is proud of the beating his former student Hook was able to give him at the PPV, so next week on Rampage, he will invite Q.T. to the ring to give him an official “certificate” of training by Q.T. Marshall.
This whole Hook thing isn’t bad, and I totally understand that they need to do something with him, and what they have been doing is probably the choice… but as someone who just doesn’t understand why all of these internet people have decided that they randomly love Hook, this whole storyline is pretty boring to me.

BEAR COUNTRY & FUEGO DEL SOL vs. THE HOUSE OF BLACK- 1.5/10
Not even for thirty seconds should someone at the level of Fuego del Sol be running wild on all three members of the House of Black.

PENTA OSCURO PROMO- I’m sorry, but Abrahantes just kills this for me, because I know it’s a put-on for him. He himself had no reason to change. If you had James Mitchel saying the exact same words and making the save movements while translating on Penta’s behalf, this would have been great.

MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS THE PEOPLE IN THE MAIN EVENT- FANTASTIC!
The Acclaimed were absolutely TREMENDOUS here. They must have been channeling The Rock. “The Acclaimed aren’t afraid of your Henry VIII-sounding ass!” “Go back to the renaissance fair, bitch!” I was ROLLING! Keith Lee was also awesome, but not at the same level.

Tony Khan has made the proposed eight-man tornado tag official for Dynamite. Also on Dynamite, we will see Chris Jericho and Daniel Garcia take on the #1-ranked John Silver & Alex Reynolds. How the f*ck are these clowns #1?

KEITH LEE vs. MAX CASTER (w/Anthony Bowens)- 5.5/10
Lee dominated until Powerhouse Hobbs came out and distracted him, allowing Caster to cut him off. Lee made his comeback and won.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- fine
Team Taz and The Acclaimed beat Lee down until Shane Strickland made the save.


This was not a bad episode of Dynamite. It was the first time since the show debuted where I wondered why I was watching this. It felt a lot more like WWE Main Event than it ever has before.