A Mean, Evil, Robot Being Paid by WWE To Have Anti-AEW Opinions Reviews the 4/13/2022 Dynamite

[Big Red Machine]

CM PUNK vs. PENTA OSCURO (w/Alex Abrahantes)- 7/10
Abrahantes in his “oh, look at me, I’m a dark druid” outfit while acting like a completely normal manager is yet another thing that makes this “new” iteration of Penta feel so fake.
The match was great (minus that one spot). It’s always nice to see someone force Penta to wrestle a match that isn’t a total spotfest. Punk one clean.

EARLIER TODAY, EDDIE KINGSTON & LAX JUMPED 2.0 ON AN AIR-STRIPE WHILE THE JERICHO APPRECIATION SOCIETY ARRIVED, AND THEY STOLE THEIR SHOES- meh
I understand that AEW is trying to walk the fine line of having Kingston & LAX live up to the rather extreme threats they made in their promo last week while not making them feel like crazy heels. I just don’t understand how attacking someone and stealing their shoes shows the necessary amount of hate if you’re then going to run away from their three friends in a fair fight. Also, it is important to note that they are forced to navigate these difficult waters because of their own choices. If LAX ad Kingston don’t threaten to jump the JAS anywhere, anytime, they wouldn’t be an issue.

AEW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: A Boy & His Dinosaur(c) (w/Christian Cage) vs. reDRagon- 7.75/10
Babyfaces win a great action-match cleanly.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Kyle O’Reilly attacks the babyfaces with a chair after the bell. Christian seems to have disappeared. As reDRagon were heading up the ramp, FTR came out to have a shoving match with them because… um…

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS THE BLACKPOOL COMBAT CLUB- fine
They’re facing Gunn Club in a trios match on Rampage. Apparently Gunn Club are undefeated in trios matches. This feels like about the third different way that they have found to bill Gunn Club as “undefeated.” It’s not wrong or anything, but it has hit the point where it doesn’t mean anything anymore, because we know that Gunn Club are undercard jamokes who are going to lose.

TONY SCHAVONE INTERVIEWS TONI STORM & JAMIE HAYTER- decent
They will face off in the first round of the Owen Hart women’s tournament, because the fans have demanded it. Hayter cut a good promo. Storm ignored her. Once again, my issue is that the heat between these two feels like a total ass-pull.

SHAWN DEAN vs. MJF (w/Shawn Spears)- no rating, bad segment
Backstage security got beaten up again. MJF was distracted for a bit, but he started to get cocky again and went to lean on the guardrail and pose… and wouldn’t you know it, he just so happened to choose to do so right where Wardlow had been hiding out.
Yes, I noticed that one of the security guards’ shirts was ripped off, and that Wardlow had the shirt and a mask on. That’s a good touch. But my problem with AEW continues to be that they think they’re so clever with these good little touches but don’t realize the larger flaws in the storylines. As I’ve said before, they focus so much and pat themselves on the back so much about the kind of stuff hat brings you from an A to an A+, but ignore the stuff that you need to get from a B- to an A.
So Wardlow goes after MJF, including jumping the guardrail… and apparently there is absolutely no security around ringside at an AEW show. Spears tried to save MJF but failed. Eventually security came out and swarmed Wardlow, but MJF running away meant he was about to get counted out.
MJF grabbed a mic and attempted to bribe Bryce Remsburg not to count him out. That should be a firing offense.
So Dean gets the win by count-out… and so what? Is this building to anything with Shawn Dean? I doubt it. And we’re supposed to be happy that Wardlow caused MJF to lose by count-out? As we saw from the last time this happened with Shawn Dean, it’s not going to matter in the long run. It’s not like something was on the line here where the loss will severely effect MJF.
After Wardlow was removed, MJF came down to the ring and shoved Bryce Remsburg. That should at the very least get you suspended (in fact, when Nyla Rose did it, she did get suspended).
We then cut to backstage where Wardlow was still beating up security. He grabbed the camera and yelled that he wouldn’t stop until he either got his hands on MJF or MJF released him from his contract. If you wanted to get your hands on MJF so badly, maybe you should have done it during the thirty seconds where you were standing right behind him and he was posing and had no idea you were there? Again, adding the unnecessary but enhancing tiny little touch while ignoring the major detail.
And the fact that “well if Wardlow touched MJF, MJF would have won by DQ” is not an excuse! You could have achieved the same result of Wardlow causing MJF to lose by count-out while also not getting his hands on MJF by simply having Wardlow chase MJF around the ring and up the ramp to create that same situation we got to in the end here. That took me ten seconds to come up with.
Wardlow destroyed a camera at the end (by accident). Jim Ross was certain that JF would be billed for the broken camera, and Excalibur agreed. Why would MJF be billed for this?

DARBY ALLIN VIDEO- dull
He skated around in black and white. Then he said he wanted a Coffin match against Andrade. This does not feel like that kind of feud at all.

MALAKAI BLACK PROMO- snore
A lot of meaningless bullsh*t with one good line at the end. He said that if we cut his throat open, we would find “an abyss of razorblades.” He really said that.
He's going after Darby Allin now, for reasons that I'm sure will never be explained.

EDDIE KINGSTON, SANTANA, & ORTIZ vs. THE JERICHO APPRECIATION SOCIETY (Chris Jericho, Daniel Garcia, & Jake Hager)- 6.75/10
The heels won after a distraction when their friends showed up. They attacked the babyfaces after the match.

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS MJF & FRIENDS- almost good
Marvez laughed at MJF for losing. Can you imagine if a reporter did that in a real sport?
MJF started to cut a tremendous heel promo, but then it all fell apart at the end. His new plan to get rid of Wardlow is to use his contract to force Wardlow to wrestle people who will end his career. And so he books him against… The Butcher. Yup. Just one dude, who is basically a jobber to the stars. Even if we say that MJF can’t just book him against the entire roster because for most people Tony Khan controls their contracts and has to agree, that isn’t true for the AFO, so why not book Wardlow against all of them at the same time (and throw Spears in, too)?

SKYE BLUE vs. MARINA SHAFIR- good squash/confusing segment
At 4-0, Marina Shafir is already ranked #5. But, as I always do, I went to be nice to Tonny and see if may her wins on Dark had come over top names that might justify such a placement. Well… I saw that her previous four matches were against jobbers. This has to be ultimate example of how meaningless these rankings are.
But you’ve all heard me talk about that already. So here is something else I found there that was MUCH more interesting. There was a fifth match there. Against Kris Statlander. Which Shafir LOST. And AEW has apparently decided to flush that right down the memory hole. Talk about not having respect for your fanbase.
They showed us Mark Sterling watching on a monitor backstage. Jade Cargill was with him, and we were told that she was insulting Shafir by not even paying attention. Then they showed us the “Baddie Section,” which is a group of fans who love Jade because she does all of this wonderful positive stuff like empowerment and whatnot. Then we were shown Kiera Hogan and Red Velvet- two babyfaces- sitting in this section. IS JADE A BABYFACE OR A HEEL?!
Shafir won cleanly. Then she acted like a heel afterwards, taunting Skye Blue.

EARLIER TODAY, LEXI’S INTERVIEW WITH HOOK IS INTERRUPTED BY MARK STERLING AND TONY NESE- dumb
More Danhausen crap. Hook has his first match on Dynamite next week.

DAN LAMBERT & MEN OF THE YEAR PROMO- good

SHANE “SWERVE” STRICKLAND & KEITH LEE vs. TEAM TAZ (Ricky Starks & Will Hobbs)- 7.25/10
If you’re trying to push Lee and Strickland as babyfaces, why would you book this match in Starks’ home market?
Wouldn’t Stiackland have gotten a lot more force from the rebound off the ropes (and thus come down onto his opponents with more force) if he had just springboarded off of the ropes themselves instead of doing it onto Lee’s chest?
At just about the time I was wondering why Taz wasn’t out here managing his guys, Taz wandered out to ringside. Taz’s mere appearance prompted an “ECW” chant in 2022.
More great action here (other than the aforementioned spot), and a good pace as well. Taz interfered to help his guys win… and everyone cheered.

TONY SCHIAVONE’S INTERVIEW WITH THUNDER ROSA IS INTERRUPTED BY NYLA ROSE & VICKIE GUERRERO- bad
This was low-rent, stupid, goofy crap as an excuse to get to a brawl. It’s actually a shame because when she is left alone, Thunder Rosa is a great promo, and the stuff Vickie and Nyla were doing is the sort of stuff that I like from Nyla a lot more than I do from others (she makes it work), and it would probably would have been a good annoying heel promo if they hadn’t had to interact with Thunder Rosa during it.

ADAM COLE VS. ADAM PAGE VIDEO PACKAGE- GREAT!

ROH WORLD TV TITLE MATCH: Minoru Suzuki(c) vs. Samoa Joe- 7.5/10
Jay Lethan and Sonjay Dutt were in the front row, sarcastically cheering for Joe.
Joe beat Suzuki cleanly to win the title. This match started off feeling SOOOOO epic, but just kind of petered out towards the end. Very disappointing.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- mixed feelings
Sonjay Dutt and Jay Lethal created a distraction… that seemed totally unnecessary because the lights also magically went off so that a large Indian basketball playing of apparently some renown could attack Joe.
On the one hand, yes AEW should be trying to create stars that appeal to people of different nationalities, and facing Joe in slugfest matches with Lethal and Sonjay to teach him and talk for him is a good way to start him off… but on the other hand, this roster is already way too big, and we’re saddling Samoa Joe with some green learning project, who is a former sports star. It’s just not what I want to see.



This was a decent episode of AEW. The wrestling was very good to great, but the usual logical issues popped up. This promotion would be SOOOO easy to fix.