BRM Reviews the 4/29/2022 Rampage

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 4/29/2022 Rampage

Post by Big Red Machine » May 1st, '22, 13:06

OWEN HART FOUNDATION MEN’S TOURNAMENT QUALIFIER: Shane Strickland vs. Darby Allin (w/Sting)-7/10
They finally told us what the winner of the tournament gets: the Owen Hart Cup. And what does that do for them, exactly?
Great opener. Darby worked the knee a bit. Ricky Starks caused a distraction which bought Darby time to recover and roll Strickland up with the Last Supper.

SHAWN SPEARS PROMO- snore
He takes credit for Wardlow’s success, and cuts a promo to build up Wardlow vs. the mystery opponent who we definitely don’t know who it is.

CHRIS JERICHO IS ATTACKED AT THE COMMENTARY TABLE BY LAX- It sure was nice of them to wait until right after the announcers recapped the thing they were getting revenge for before attacking. They did remarkably little as revenge for Jericho BURNING THEIR FRIENDS FACE OFF.
When we got back from a commercial, Jericho cut a promo on Santana saying that he went to Tony Khan during the break and “demanded” a match with Santana on Dynamite in which he would “teach you a double lesson in sports entertainment and pain.” This was terrible and this gimmick needs to stop.

SKYE BLUE, WILLOW NIGHTENGALE, & TRISH ADORA vs. THE BADDIES (Jade Cargill, Kiera Hogan, & Red Velvet) (w/Mark Sterling)- 3.25/10
Jade’s team won a meh match with very little drama.
On commentary, they quickly explained Red Velvet’s turn thusly: Last month, she had a match against Willow Nightengale which she won, but she felt so disrespected that the crowd cheered for the other woman that she turned heel and joined with Jade. A few things here:
1. As I said over and over again about ROH over the past seven years, stories of any kind are SOOO much more effective when we hear the explanation from the person involved rather than secondhand from the announcers.
2.Explanations for turns need to happen right away, or at the very least have the existence of an explanation teased right away. If you wait two weeks after this person who we last saw as a babyface has started hanging out with a heel before giving us an explanation (and especially when you do what AEW has done with Red Velvet here and don’t even comment on the fact that she used to be a babyface but is now a heel), it makes the explanation feel like something you pulled out of your ass after the fact.
3. Maybe this explanation could have worked for someone else, but for Red Velvet, who had the crap booed out of her when she faced Britt Baker to only turn because “the crowd turned on me” after this match with Willow Nightengale where the amount of cheers she got didn’t seem out of the ordinary is ridiculous.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS DARBY ALLIN & SHANE STRICKLAND- fine
It’s nice to see both babyfaces acknowledging that their match had a tainted finish without one getting upset at the other. Strickland said he was rooting for Darby now because they’re both from the Pacific Northwest. He also said that he would need to go get Keith Lee and take care of Team Taz.

KEITH LEE vs. COLTEN GUNN (w/Austin Gunn)- 5/10
Austin Gunn being 48-5 and yet barely on TV is yet another thing that makes these records laughable.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS THE HARDY BOYS- good stuff
They built up Jeff’s Owen Hart Foundation Tournament Qualifier against Bobby Fish, and also teased a Jeff Hardy vs. Darby Allin match.

UNDISPUTED ELITE PROMO- meh

DANHAUSEN CALLS OUT HOOK- dumb
Hook came out. Danhausen tried to postpone their fight util another time. Mark Sterling caused a distraction so that Tony Nese could attack them both from behind. Hook fought him off (and bumped Sterling when Sterling got involved). Nese headed back to the ring and Danhausen cursed him. Nese back down, but because Hook was behind Danhausen, not because of the curse. Danhausen didn’t know this. He turned around and tried to complement Hook, but Hook shoved him.
Then Hook left. WHY? He came out here to fight Danhausen. There was a short interruption, but Hook was perfectly fine afterwards, so why did he not then proceed to fulfill his originally intended objective and beat the sh*t out of Danhausen?
The crowd chanted “HOOK-HAUSEN!” These same people were chanting “ECW!” on Dynamite, and now they want to see f*cking Danhausen.

LEXI NAIR’S INTERVIEW WITH GUNN CLUB IS INTERRUPTED BY THE ACCLAIMED- meh
Apparently this was also Colten Gunn’s first pinfall loss. This was not even mentioned ONCE in the build-up to the match or during it. Ausin then said it was also Colten’s first singles match in AEW. They’re just making sh*t up now, right?
Austin mentioned their rapping skills, and The Acclaimed JUST HAPPENED to be walking by. They said that the four of them never lose when they all team up and offered to “scissor” with them. Then they called them the “ass boys,” because I guess the acclaimed are randomly “turning babyface,” by which I mean there won’t be an actual turn. They’ll just be babyfaces one day until Tony needs to book them against babyfaces again, at which point they’ll just be heels again.

MERCEDES MARTINEZ PROMO/VIDEO PACKAGE- She tried hard to make her interim title mean something.

MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS THE PEOPLE IN THE MAIN EVENT- Joe was great, Trent was meh

ROH TV TITLE MATCH: Samoa Joe(c) vs. Trent Beretta (w/Chuck Taylor & Orange Cassidy)- 6/10
Ian Riccaboni joined the commentary team for this match, and Bobby Cruise did the intros. Joe pretty much dominated Trent.

TONY SCHIAVONE’S IN-RING INTERVIEW WITH SAMOA JOE IS INTERRUPTED BY JAY LETHAL, SANTHAM SINGH, & SONJAY DUTT- bad
Orange Cassidy does dumb comedy with Singh. The heels attack. Referees and road agents came out to separate Joe ad Lethal.

Another average episode of Rampage.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
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ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3

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