BRM Reviews the 7/9/2022 Rampage (frustrating)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 7/9/2022 Rampage (frustrating)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jul 12th, '22, 20:38

EDDIE KINSGTON vs. KONNOSUKE TAKESHITA- 5/10
I really didn’t like the spot where Kingston took a German Suplex on the apron, and moments later was able to block another attempted German by grabbing the apron, then escape by throwing several elbows. Can we please try to keep it so that at least some bumps mean something?
The finishing sequence also had way too much fighting spirit for me liking. If you absolutely must do that sort of thing, save it for a big match that actually means something, not a Rampage opener with Konnosuke Takeshita.

KRIS STATLANDER & ATHENA PROMO- bad
“I have done so much for this company” is a really bad argument for why you deserve a title shot. How about telling me how many matches you have won instead.
They accuse Jade of ducking top challengers. Jade can try to duck people also she likes, but it’s management’s job to make the matches. If Jade is able to duck top challengers, it’s only because management is complicit.
Also, I’m not totally sure that I buy that Jade is ducking top challengers. Remember that segment when she was going for her thirtieth win and was offered a tomato can but demanded a real challenge instead? This is why you don’t do segments like that. Because it makes it hard to then have someone claim Jade is ducking people.

HOOK VIDEO PACKAGE- we learned nothing new

JONATHAN GRESHAM & LEE MORIATY vs. THE GATES OF AGONY (w/Tully Blanchard)- no rating, very bad segment
“Gates of Agony” sounds way too much like a lame “Authors of Pain” knock-off name (and they come complete with a manager from the 1980s).
GOA beat on Moriarty until Moriarty got the chance to make the hot tag… but then Gresham pulled his hand back and hugged Tully instead, leaving Moriarty to get killed.
I don’t dislike this pairing in principle, but I really hate it at this exact moment in time.
1. Tony Khan as put on ONE Ring of Honor show so far. The big angle at the end of that show involved Jay Lethal turning on his tag team partner and protégé Jonathan Gresham because he wanted a shot at the ROH World Title so badly and Gresham wouldn’t give him one right then and there… and now you’re turning Gresham heel before giving us the match? (And that’s ignoring the criminal squandering of the dynamic that was set up with Lethal turning on his protégé, only to have the mentor that he himself once turned on show up and make the save.)
2. If you’re trying to establish your ROH, and doubly so to establish it as a worthy and respectful successor to the original ROH- something you bought because you were such a fan of it and what it stood for- immediately going with a heel world champion is absolutely the wrong thing to do.

EDDIE KINGSTON PROMO- snore
Look… Kingston is a good talker, but there is only so many times I can hear him talk about how he is going to make Jericho bleed in *INSERT GIMMICK MATCH HERE* as revenge for *INSERT HORRIBLE THING THAT JERICHO DID TO KINGSTON OR HIS FRIENDS HERE*. They’ve had super crazy bloody brawls at the past two PPVs. Kingston’s team won a freakin’ War Games match and Kingston had Jericho in his finisher at the end of it. I’ve already seen him get enough revenge.
MERCEDES MARTINEZ & SERENA DEEB vs. KAYLA SPARKS & CHRISTINA MARIE- no rating, good segment
This was a squash, as you would expect. Deeb got the win for her team with the Serenity Lock, but kept the hold in afterwards just to be mean. Mercedes came and broke it up, and they argued. Eventually things calmed down, but then Deeb attacked Mercedes and put the Serenity Lock on Mercedes before posing with Merecedes’ ROH Women’s World Title. This not only set up a title match, but it established character for Mercedes (and a character that fits in well with what a champion on ROH should be).
One thing I have to comment on, though, was the fact that Deeb and Merecedes were 4-0 as a team going into this match. Why were they teaming so regularly when neither company has women’s tag titles? Has Deeb been doing this sort of thing the whole time? If so, why has Mercedes consented to team with her over and over? And if Deeb hasn’t been doing this sort of thing all the time, why did she pick now to start? The story feels like it would make more sense if this was the first time they were teaming together.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS JONATHAN GRESHAM & TULLY BLANCHARD- bad
Gresham says he turned on Lee Moriarty because despite being the world champion and the Foundation of ROH, he has “been sitting at home this entire time” and so when Tully Blanchard called him, he decided to listen.
I mean… obviously what Gresham did is wrong, but I don’t blame him for being angry that despite being a world champion, he hasn’t been booked by his new boss. Tony Khan, bad kayfabe booker strikes again, causing more problems.
Tony Schiavone tells us that Tony Khan has informed him that Lee Moriarty will now be getting an ROH World Title shot on next week’s Rampage as a result of him… getting betrayed and losing a match.

MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS THE PEOPLE IN THE MAIN EVENT- terrible clown sh*t
Once Danhausen showed up with Orange Cassidy and Best Friends, I began hoping that the roof would cave in and fall on them.
Chuck Taylor’s facial hair had me doing a double-take and thinking he was a Bravado Brother.

During Excalibur’s run-down of the card for Dynamite, he informed us that Serena Deeb vs. Anna Jay has been signed. Deeb has spent the past month being booked exclusively in tag matches… but now that she has attacked a champion and posed with her title, she is suddenly getting booked in a singles match. If you’re going to do an angle with the champion to set someone up as a challenger, either have them built up already, or set the title shot up purely off of the heat, with the babyface offering to put the title up for the chance to get revenge on the heel. What AEW has done here is just so f*cking clumsy, and it’s the sort of thing they do way too often.

LEXI NIR INTERVIEWS MATT SYDAL & LEE MORIARTY- meh
Moriarty was fine, but Sydal was overdramatic. Why do people let him talk? Haven’t we learned anything over the past twenty years?

Not only is the Barbed Wire match between Jericho and Kingston already official, but the Jericho Appreciation Society will be suspended above the ring in a shark cage. So Jericho has enough stroke that he was able to say “I’ll only give you a Blood & Guts match if I get a Hair vs. Hair match against Ortiz,” but wasn’t able to stop someone from adding this stipulation that negatively affects only his group, and is a match he probably doesn’t want?
(I mean… we all know that the stipulation will help him because his friends will drop him a weapon or whatever, but we’re supposed to think that won’t happen, so either the booker is an idiot for not seeing this coming, or it’s something Jericho shouldn’t want).


IF TONY NESE WINS, ORANGE CASSIDY MUST SIGN HIS STUPID PETITION TO GET SHANE STRICKLAND FIRED: Tony Nese (w/Mark Sterling) vs. Orange Cassidy (w/Best Friends & Danhausen)- 6.75/10
Look… there was some really good stuff in here, but I found it completely impossible to care because of the idiotic stipulation and the general clown sh*t going on.
Jim Ross said “we have seen Orange Cassidy literally explode here in AEW over the past month.” If only that were true.
He also told me “stop bitching” about Orange Cassidy and “move to this decade.” I wonder what else he’ll say for money? “Ultimate Warrior was a better worker and a better shooter than Dr. Death.”
When OC did his stupid little kicks to Sterling, Ross pointed out to me that “the fans are buying into it.”
When Sterling went down and sold those kicks like had been seriously hurt, Tony Schiavone called Sterling a “phony bologna.” Good for you, Tony. You finally weren’t fooled by something.


A frustrating episode of Rampage.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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XIV
Posts: 1802
Joined: Aug 19th, '13, 11:38

Re: BRM Reviews the 7/9/2022 Rampage (frustrating)

Post by XIV » Jul 13th, '22, 14:21

BOOOOOORRING

BOOOOOORRING

BOOOOOORRING

that sums up Rampage.
Have A Nice Day!

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