BRM Reviews the 9/14/2022 Dynamite (saved by the main event)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 9/14/2022 Dynamite (saved by the main event)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 15th, '22, 10:35

AEW GRAND SLAM TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS SEMIFINAL MATCH: Jon Moxley vs. Sammy Guevara- 6.5/10
Why is it called a “tournament of champions” if no one in the tournament is currently a champion? People say that Gabe was bad at naming things, and they’re mostly not wrong, but while Gabe’s names were lame, at least they made sense. Tony’s names are terrible because they confuse to as to what’s really going on. Either that or they randomly have the word “casino” in them.

William Regal was on commentary for this match. He wouldn’t divulge his plan for how the Blackpool Combat Club was going to counter Anna Jay and Tay Melo interfering.
They fought on the outside without getting counted out for approximately fifty years. They finally got back into the ring, then wound up on the outside again, and suddenly the rule now applies. Moxley is going around biting people, and Schiavone is excusing it as “that’s just what he does.” I’ll remember this when he inevitably gets upset at Chris Jericho or Jay Lethal cheating later.
Speaking of cheating, after some moves and nearfalls, Anna Jay came out to distract the referee and Moxley so that Tay could kick Mox in the balls. It turs out the BCC didn’t have a plan for a possibility so obvious that our attention was drawn to it at the beginning of the match. That’s a bad look for them.
Speaking of bad looks, I thought it made Moxley look really bad that he managed to get distracted by Anna Jay when the ref was already dealing with her, and when Tay Melo came down to ringside with her. What they should have done was have Anna Jay come down the ramp to cause the distraction, then have Tay come out of the crowd to attack Moxley rather than having her walk around him.
Mox overcame the low blow, countered a GTH into a Deathrider, and won.

MJF IS MAKING SOME SORT OF SCENE IN THE BACK AND DEMANDING A MICROPHONE!”-
Then we cut to a commercial. After the commercial, MJF came out to a raucous ovation. I don’t get why people are cheering him.
MJF cut a promo on Moxley. Excalibur noted that he was doing this while Moxley was in the shower. Why should MJF be afraid of Moxley in this situation. Doesn’t he have an army of seven guys?
MJF cut a very good promo on Moxley (the intensity was great, but it was pretty paint-by-numbers). He then called out his “best friend” Stokely Hathaway and “the Firm.” Then MJF disappeared.

STOKELY HATHAWAY PROMO- great, because it’s Stokely
He explained that they are essentially a stable “on retainer” whenever MJF needs them. There is nothing illogical about that, per se, but if these guys are best friends, why not just be a regular stable?
Stokely implied that Morrissey is in this group because he is being blackmailed, so they’ve already got Wardlow 2.0 set up.
Stokely put over his other guys in typical excellent Stokely Hathaway fashion. Lee Moriarty as ROH Pure Champion is something I want to see, but even more than that, I’d love to see him be the heel who takes the ROH World Title from Claudio and have Shinsuke Nakamura “dickhead heel” kind of run with the belt, with Stokely on the outside just reveling in it.
Stokely played up Ethan Page being Canadian to get heat… and the f*cking idiot director decided to find the one person in the crowd with a Canadian flag, holding it up and cheering. How f*cking stupid can you possibly be? By week two in the wrestling business, it should be common sense that if you’re in UBS Arena and the heel is insulting the Islanders, you focus on the angry Islanders fans in the crowd, not the two guys in Rangers jerseys laughing their asses off (which is a mistake AEW actually did make earlier this year, so it’s not like this is the first time they are making this mistake. They actually focus on signs supporting heels quite often.
He also said that the Gunns would win the tag titles and prove that we should all take them seriously. He said that Ethan Page wanted to win the All-Atlantic Title. Excalibur went full Tenay and claimed that wrestlers wanting to win lower-card titles was “interesting.” Then again, he also claimed that tonight’s Jungle Boy vs. Jay Lethal match was “unique,” so it’s possible that someone dropped a brick on his head before the show and he just doesn’t remember what certain words mean.

JUNGLE BOY VS. JAY LETHAL VIDEO PACKAGE- terrible
So upset by Luchasaurus’ betrayal is Jungle Boy that tonight he wants a match against… whoever answer his open challenge first. Yes, I know. The idea is that he feels he needs a warm-up match or two first, but that is not the thought process of a man seeking revenge for a deep persona betrayal! Hell, just a few months ago Jungle Boy was in this same position with Christian, and not only did he challenge Christian as soon as he could, but when Christian kept trying to dodge him, Jungle Boy tried to force the concept by attacking Christian, even to the point of TRYING TO RUN HIM OVER WITH A CAR! But now, for this even deeper personal betrayal, he is more measured and levelheaded?
Then f*cking Sonjay Dutt cut a promo where his goal seemed to be to get me to wish for his death by being annoying cartoonish clown. No more cocaine for Sonjay before promos.

JUNGLE BOY vs. JAY LETHAL (w/Sonjay Dutt & Satnam Singh)-
TEN DAYS after Jungle Boy’s big bump, they’re now pushing on us that not only was he chokeslammed onto the stage, but onto the “burning hot” grate that the pyro comes out of. You might want to emphasize that when the bump actually happens, because this way, it feels like you’re pulling it out of your ass. Same thing with the “what kind of shape is Jungle Boy in after taking that terrible bump ten days ago?!” He cut a promo last week and never once alluded to the idea that he might be injured, and neither did any of the announcers, but suddenly, after he wrestled ZERO matches in the interim, it’s now a big talking point.
And wouldn’t you know it, this injury becomes a major focus just in time for it to be used as the story of this match! They told that story very well… but, odd as it seems, I think I would have enjoyed it more if they hadn’t had the announces essentially say “look out for this because it will be the story of the match” right beforehand.
The finish of this match played off of the finish of Lethal beating Dax a few weeks ago (and they were sure to show a replay of that before this match as well). That’s nice in theory, but it’s such a waste here. You build up finishes like that so that breaking the pattern can be paid off at important moments, not for the sake of random artsiness in a mid-card match on TV.

HOOK & ACTION BRONSON TRAINING VIDEO- great
Then Alex Marvez had to ruin it by telling me that he was excited to see these guys team up. He’s like Michael Cole where everything he says feels like such a shill that makes said thing feel less cool.

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS “PRO WRESTLING’S PREMIER PIZZA BAKER, LUIGI PROMO- Yes, really. That’s what would have happened if Ethan Page hadn’t interrupted it by attacking the clown. That is what Tony Khan, the kayfabe booker, thought was a good idea to put on his show. Nyla Rose, Frankie Kazarian, Angelico, Butcher & Blade & Bunny, Christopher Daniels, Matt Sydal, Dante Martin, Matt Hardy, the Hollywood Blonds, Jake Hager, Shawn Spears. These people can barely (if ever) get on TV… and instead of one of them, Tony Khan decides to give his free interview time to some goof loser nobody.
There is also such a tone-deafness to doing this right now. Whatever you think about either the accuracy of CM Punk’s criticism of the Bucks and Kenny Omega as “children” compared to Punk “trying to run a business,” or the professionalism (or, rather, lack thereof) in the time and manner he chose to say it, it is indisputable that being someone within the company who was willing to voice that criticism made Punk a hero to many, even if some of those people think the manner he did things in was unprofessional (and I will admit that I myself fall into that camp).
One of my all-time favorite TV shows is Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. For those who don’t know (and you should!) it’s an Aaron Sorkin show, except instead of being about a presidential administration or a sports news show or a cable news show, it’s about an SNL-like sketch comedy show. In the cold open of the pilot, Judd Hirsch’s character has just lost an argument with a network Standards & Practices rep about a sketch he wants to do, out of fear that the Christian Right will become upset and boycott the show. He then does this

The rest of the pilot is about the fallout from this speech on all of our characters, who include not just the cast and crew of the show, but also some higher-ups at the fictional network their show is on and its parent corporation. Of course, all of the network and parent company big-wigs are going crazy over this at their emergency meeting, worried that something that was said could prompt and FCC fine or that they will be made fun of by other networks for this happening. One of our main characters, new network president Jordan McDeere (Amanda Peet) speaks up and points out that what they should really be afraid of is people saying that Judd Hirsch’s character was right about them.
And that is exactly what AEW needs to be wary of here.

Anyway, Ethan Page attacks this loser and complains that this BS is getting time on the show. And it’s hard to argue with him, isn’t it? Danhausen shows up. Ethan Page challenges him to a match. Danhausen is too dumb to comprehend the challenge. Page walks away instead of murdering Dorkhausen, which was highly disappointing.

DARBY ALLIN DOES SOMETHING CRAZY AT A MONSTER TRUCK RALLY OR SOMETHING- fine

MATT HARDY PROMO- He wants a match with Darby Allin on Rampage because he respects Darby and also wants to use him as a stepping stone.

WILL HOBBS vs. MATT DIMARTINO- squash
Despite getting the squash victory, Hobbs was bleeding from the mouth.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Hobbs grabs a mic and declares a new chapter. Ricky Starks came out through the crowd and attacked Hobbs. He got the microphone away from him and hit him with I, causing Hobbs to retreat. Taz claimed that this busted Hobbs’ lip open, so it’s possible that Hobbs’ bleeding before was some of gimmick that burst early. Excalibur told me that this was “some measure of revenge” for Starks, but that it “was not enough for him.” Well if it’s not enough revenge for him, why is he just standing there staring at Hobbs instead of going after him?

DEATH TRIANGLE PROMO- snore
The Lucha Bros are apparently getting a tag title shot tonight despite not having won a tag team match on TV in NINE MONTHS. They said nothing. And, of course, this unranked team is getting a title shot before any of the five ranked teams are.

AEW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Swerve in Our Glory(c) vs. Lucha Bros. (w/Alex Abrahantes)- 6/10
They did flips and stuff. I’ve seen Keith Lee take enough Canadian Destroyers in the past five years that him taking one here just didn’t register to me. At this point, I think Penta has done more Canadian Destroyers than Petey Williams. The champions who already have the title match built up with another team for next week’s show won cleanly.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- good
The Acclaimed cut a spoken-word promo on Lee and Strickland saying that they would take their titles. If we’re giving the Acclaimed another title shot so quickly, it’d be nice to get a promo doing what MJF did earlier and explaining why we should think that this match will turn out differently from their previous one.

Also, can we please stop and ponder what has gone wrong I pro wrestling fandom that in 2022, the thing that took the Acclaimed to the next level is a dumb catchphrase that requires being associated with Billy Gunn?

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS PAC- terrible
He got so upset at Alex Marvez calling it a “bump in the road” that his friends lost cleanly that I immediately started to hate him, and it just got worse as he ranted about how great they are.
Then Orange Cassidy, the babyface whose gimmick is that he doesn’t care about things, and whose team lost to Death Triangle cleanly in last week’s title match, came up to Pac and knocked him out with a sucker-punch. OC wants the All-Atlantic Title. So, everyone, tune in soon to see which of these unlikeable people you just saw fight over one useless title will now win an even more useless title.
Excalibur later told us that this meant that OC is “not playing around anymore.” Well…I guess we haven’t gotten our annual rendition of that story. Character “Development” from your “Booker of the Year.”

TONI STORM & ATHENA PROMO- bad
Athena was really annoying here. All of her lines were so lame, but she seemed to think they were the most clever lines ever. Toni wasn’t good, either.
Also, apparently Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter took Hikaru Shida out off-screen.


TONI STORM & ATHENA vs. SERENA DEEB & BRITT BAKER (w/Rebel)- 5/10
The heels won with a chairshot, resulting in Deeb pinning Toni.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
Athena attacked the heels after the match, despite having no real quarrel with any of them and no real friendship with Toni. She, of course, got beaten up because it was two on one. This was yet another AEW post-match attack that felt like it happened for no other reason than to allow for another specific person to run in for the big dramatic moment.
In this case that person was Jamie Hayter. She stopped Dr. Baker from hitting Toni Storm with a chair, just so she could Russo-Swerve everyone and hit Toni with it herself. Then she argued with Britt as referees led her away… because everyone else fighting after the match was okay, but once two people who the storyline wants to keep away from each other get involved, then a gaggle of referees immediately comes out and shepherds one of them away. Like so much Tony Khan’s booking, this was another instance of him clearly wanting a story to take a much longer time to unfold than he knows how to adequately pace out, so we get hack segments like this.

Britt tried to apologize to Hayter. How the hell is Britt coming off like the babyface in all of this?

MARK STERLING & FRIENDS PROMO- meh
They’re not wrong that Wardlow’s attacks after the match were completely unprovoked. Woods is getting an ROH TV Title shot against Samoa Joe.

Serena Deeb just pinned Toni Storm, so she’s getting a shot at Toni’s title. That would be good, if not for the fact that it’s a four-way match in which Britt Baker and Athena are also getting title shots for no f*cking reason.


AEW GRAND SLAM TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS SEMIFINAL MATCH: Bryan Danielson vs. Chris Jericho- 8.5/10
William Regal was on commentary for this match. Dragon’s leg got worked over, but he came back and won. With the way Excalibur played up Dragon’s ankle injury, it felt like creating an excuse for Dragon to lose, which is something that can only hurt Moxley.
Speaking of Moxley, he came out and had a face-off with Dragon. At this time he was polite, as opposed to with Punk, where was an asshole for no reason.


This was a meh show from AEW. It was one awesome match, a good promo or two, and a lot of bad. The main event really saved this show.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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