BRM Reviews the 10/21/22 Rampage (horrendous)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 10/21/22 Rampage (horrendous)

Post by Big Red Machine » Oct 23rd, '22, 14:04

TITLE VS. TRADEMARK MATCH: The Acclaimed(AEW World Tag Team Titles) (w/Billy Gunn) vs. Tony Nese & Josh Woods(Trademark for “Scissor me” in the US) (w/Mark Sterling)- 5/10
For this supposedly important match, only one side got their entrance shown. The supposed babyfaces jumped the heels from behind. We were supposed to be upset about Mark Sterling getting Billy Gunn ejected from ringside, but cheated to help the Acclaimed win the tag team titles in the first place, so it’s hard to be too upset with Sterling for this.
The Acclaimed won a short match that had some very sloppy moments.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- pointlessly stupid
Mark Sterling came out and loudly declared that “it doesn’t work like that,” and that the stipulation about the trademark was null and void. So either Sterling is a total idiot, or AEW management are idiots for advertising this stipulation without checking into their legal ability to enforce it (or maybe they’re just bad people who knew they couldn’t enforce it but advertised the match anyway). None of these situations are good.
Billy Gunn, of course, came back out and tossed Sterling into the ring so that the Acclaimed could stomp on his nuts. They did so in a way that looked REALLY bad at first, so then they did a diving leg drop version that looked better… but, of course, we still don’t know if Sterling is telling the truth about the trademark or not.

This whole thing is another good example of why AEW needs to hire Lance Storm to run through everything they’re going to do before they do it, because with just a few tweaks, this whole thing could have been so much better, and it’s the kind of thing Lance comes up with all the time on his podcasts with Bryan Alvarez.
When Sterling first announced that he had claimed the trademark on “Scissor me,” I called it “moronic.” In hindsight, that wasn’t quite fair. In my defense, the idea of a title vs. trademark match hadn’t been mentioned yet… but it should have been mentioned right from the get-go, and here is why:
If Sterling mentions them right away, then this is all a ploy to leverage a title shot, because the titles are more important because they make more money for you than the trademark (in kayfabe, we can pretend that that’s true, especially because I assume everyone who wats the stupid shirt already has it). This makes Sterling seem smarter because he has a sound plan, as opposed to lucking into a title shot because the Acclaimed offer it (I have no problem with the Acclaimed being willing to put the belts on the line in either situation because the trademark is a point of pride to them rather than just a source of revenue, and they are babyfaces who believe in themselves, so they should have no qualms defending their titles against these undercard heels).
I realize that of all the points I will make, this is by far the most nit-picky, but I think it’s important to establish the importance of the titles (especially when you’ve got all these goofball teams getting title shots for no reason), and also to establish that the Acclaimed take real pride in this thing they have created, because the way this was done made it feel more like a revenue source and a goofy celebration they were fighting over than something that had real personal stakes (compare this to the angle in NXT a few years back when someone stole the Street Profits’ gold chains, and they cut a promo explaining to us that it wasn’t about the literal value of the stolen jewelry but rather it’s symbolic value to the Street Profits as a physical embodiment of having achieved a level of professional success where they could afford such things. That makes it a lot easier for a viewer to connect with than rich people fighting over a device to make them even richer).

My objection to the “we’re going to stomp on Mark Sterling’s nuts” lines in the previous promo (and in tonight’s rap were because it felt needlessly mean. A physical assault of a non-wrestler (almost always) requires some sort of physical harm to the babyface first, and that was absent here. I’m not saying you can’t have Sterling get physical comeuppance in this feud, but the premeditated manner of it was problematic. A much better way to do that would have been as follows:
Have a mostly clean match, with Sterling maybe interfering once or twice. On the finish, have Sterling try to dive into the ring to break it up, but have Billy Gunn catch him by the leg. Then, after the match, you can take Sterling and the fallen heel, spread their legs, and pull them into each other so that they scissor each other (in the other way). You’ve still got your nut-shot, but it’s more deserved, more poetic, and not premeditated. It also avoids the stupid crap we got at the end where either Sterling is an idiot, AEW management are idiots, or AEW management advertised a stipulation they knew they couldn’t enforce (and the fate of the stipulation is never actually resolved at the end), because the whole reason Sterling got up on the apron and said those things at the end feels like it was to give an excuse for him to be in a place where Billy could come out and grab him from behind and throw him into the ring to facilitate the nut-stomp.

On the bright side, they had the announcers mention very early on that a deal had, in fact, been brokered for Jade Cargill not to take this show hostage, and that we would see a video of it later.

EARLIER TODAY, TONY SCHIAVONE BROKED A DEAL WITH JADE CARGILL- f*cking stupid
Jade had threatened to hijack the show unless her championship belt was returned to her. Apparently Penelope Ford is injured and can’t wrestle Willow Nightengale tonight as advertised, so Jade has agreed that her minion Leila Grey will be allowed to take Penelope’s place in the match, and in return, Jade will “get the chance to be in the ring with Nyla Rose,” who is the one who stole the belt.
1. Why is this acceptable to Jade? The belt is rightfully hers. There is no legal dispute about this matter. AEW should just make Nyla give it back. Why is Jade settling for AEW merely facilitating Jade having the chance to take it back by force?
2. We had this exact confrontation on Rampage last week, but instead of trying to get her belt back, Jade wasted time taunting fallen security guards while Nyla snuck away.
3. Last week AEW so badly wanted to stop a physical confrontation that they sent security out there to protect the thief (Nyla) from her vengeful victim (Jade). And now, instead of trying to use their power of management (levy fines and suspensions, etc.) to make Nyla had it back peacefully, they are setting up what anyone with half a brain knows will be a physical confrontation?
4. Why does AEW need Jade’s permission to book AEW-contracted Leyla Grey into this match? And if they do, why are they negotiating with Jade to get Leyla booked here instead of just using one of the fifty other women they have on the roster? (And for anyone who would say that Leyla getting this spot is AEW appeasing a demand of Jade’s, that’s not how I was portrayed here. It was portrayed here as Jade doing AEW this favor in order to get the confrontation with Nyla. If it was meant to come across the other way, then they should have re-shot this pre-tape until Tony and Jade f*cking got it right.)

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS EDDIE KINGSTON, ORTIZ, THE LUCHA BROS., & ALEX ABRAHANTES- dumb
Ortiz is holding some kind of intervention for Eddie Kingston, who has apparently been having anger problems lately. Not that we’ve seen on screen, though. And let’s look at who comprises Kingston’s “friends” for this segment.
Ortiz- Sure.
Ruby Riott? Not here. I assume she’s shoot injured, no the injury has never been mentioned in kayfabe.
Santana- same as above
Jon Moxley- nope. And we know he’s healthy because we just saw him wrestle two days ago.
Lucha Bros.- Oh yeah. They were friends with Kingston back when they were all heels in the fall of 2020… but then it turned out he was trying to rip them apart and they feuded, and I don’t think they’ve ever made up on screen since.
Butcher & Blade- They were Kingston’s friends at the same time as the Lucha Bros., but he never turned on them, so one would assume they’re still friends, but they’re not here.
You might say that this is me being out to “get” AEW, but it’s really the opposite. It’s me holding AEW to the standards that they themselves have set. AEW talks about “long-term storytelling” and “not insulting the audience’s intelligence.” Well, if you want to engage in long-term storytelling you have to- and I can’t believe how hard of a time some people have grasping this concept- ACTUALLY TELL THE STORY. You can’t do a feud, then change the status quo of screen when you want those people to be friends again. And how is it not insulting my intelligence to expect me to remember that Kingston and the Lucha Bros. were friends but to forget the other supposed friends in that stable just because they’re heels now and the others are babyfaces? And before anyone claims that as a reason for why they wouldn’t be friends, look at Death Triangle. Pac has been a heel for months now, but it was only when he tried to cheat in a match they were involved in that Fenix took exception to it. Or look at Swerve in Our Glory. Isn’t them being friends even though Strickland is an asshole and Lee is a gentleman their current story?
Anyway, they tell Eddie they’re worried about him “losing your temper and losing another job.”
Dude… it’s PRO WRESTLING! People get angry and attack people every week and there are no consequences. Hell, Chris Jericho has assaulted multiple innocent people for no reason in just the past few weeks WITH MALICE AFORETHOUGHT and hasn’t gotten punished in any way. And we’re supposed to be worried that Eddie Kingston- who we haven’t even seen do anything recently- might get fired?
Pac showed up to taunt Eddie.

FTW TITLE MATCH: Hook(c) vs. Ari Daivari (Jeeves Kay) 3/10
Daivari also has some manager we’ve never heard of before. Why have this guy at ringside and not his stablemates?
Tony Schiavone implied that Daivari got his money through criminal activity.
They did a little spot at the beginning where Daivari gave Hook one more chance to just sell him the belt, this time offering cash. Hook slapped the cash out of Daivari’s hand, and it went flying all over the ring…so they now had to wrestle with slippery paper all over the canvass. That seems needlessly unsafe.
Hook overcame the butler’s interference and got the win. His character continues to go nowhere. He put the butler in RedRum after the match as well, so that’s two matches so far tonight, and twice we’ve had the heel manager taken out afterwards. Way to make things not feel special, Tony.

LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS STOKELY HATHAWAY, MATT HARDY, & ETHAN PAGE- bad
Matt demands to know where Private Party are. He was told they were sent to the “Stokely Hathaway Wrestling Academy” to “get the Matt Hardy stink off them.” Stokely told Matt he’d have to wrestle on Dark because he’s not good enough for TV. Matt responded to this via rap. It was unsettling.

WILLOW NIGHTENGALE vs. LEILA GREY (w/Keira Hogan)- 4/10
They were once again very specific that Jade as “allowing” Leila t wrestle in this spot, so this is supposedly Jade doing something for AEW, not the other way around.”
This match had some clunkiness as well. Willow overcame the interference. That’s the second match in a row we’ve had this story. It was also the second match in a row with the heel manager getting bumped off the apron right before the finish.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- ATROCIOUS!
Tony Schiavone tells us that this win has earned Willow Nightengale an AEW contract. So what? She’s on TV all the time already. In fact, she has been on TV so often that I didn’t even realize that this was her first televised singles win in AEW, and just her second televised win in AEW overall.
We were told this was a “great moment.” And then, right on cue, here comes that big meanie Jade Cargill to ruin this moment that was so important it wasn’t on anyone’s radar even as a possibility two minutes seconds ago… and as a result, this contract feels not like something Willow has earned, but rather like something the booker came up with to give her so that we would all have a reason to be mad at Jade when Jade interrupted her “moment.”
Not to beat a dead horse here, but I’m finding it really hard to be mad at Jade when Jade is completely right that her property was stolen from her by another employee, and the company has not only made no effort to make the employee give it back without Jade having to threaten to hold a show hostage, but last week they actually sent out security to impede her from taking back her stolen property.
Give Nyla ten seconds to come out, or else. In five seconds, Nyla managed to wrangle up a camera and get it to the parking lot, where she apparently either stole or was just given Jade’s car keys and now she is filming herself stealing Jade’s car. So not only did the company fail to live up to their bargain with Jade, but their lack of punishing Nyla for her theft has encouraged her to commit another one.
Jade declares that she meant what she said, so she’s not leaving the ring until she gets her belt back. Quite frankly, I don’t think I’d be able to blame her if she and her pals (who ran off… to chase the car on foot, I guess) just started smashing every TV camera they could get their hands on and actually prevented the rest of the show from being broadcast.
Excalibur just went “oh well” and started talking about the main event. Security came out to the ring to try to get Jade, so she kicked their asses.

VIDEO PACKAGE TELLING US HOW THIS MAIN EVENT CAME ABOUT- extremely stupid
Yesterday, Jose the Assistant interrupted an interview with 10 to offering him one more chance to sign with them. 10 said no. Rush showed up to try to intimidate him.
This was happening at a bar in the arena, and apparently Orange Cassidy had been sitting down behind it the whole time. He got up, and put the backpack he keeps the All-Atlantic Title in on the bar. He pulled out the belt, then poured them beers. They decline the beers. Rush said he wanted the title instead, so instead of the advertised grudge match, we’re getting a three-way with a comedy goof also in there, for the goof’s title that no one (other than apparently Rush) cares about. This was all stupid.

MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS THE PEOPLE IN THE MAIN EVENT- dull… and also redundant after the video they just showed us.

AEW ALL-ATLANTIC TITLE MATCH: Orange Cassidy(c) (w/Danhausen) vs. 10 vs. Rush (w/Jose the Assistant)- 5.75/10
They had Negative One come out with 10, because G-d forbid with not exploit Brodie Lee’s memory. OC did his clown sh*t. Rush did his usual boring sh*t on the outside. Excalibur said that LFI don’t think the rules apply to them. If that’s true, then we should be hearing it for the first time from them in a promo, not from Excalibur on commentary. Then Tony Schiavone pointed out that he actually wasn’t breaking any rules because it was a three-way.
They did stuff for a while. Orange Cassidy pinned 10 to retain the title… so they took the guy who they’re trying to elevate with this whole story about him being recruited by the AFO… and they had him get pinned cleanly by someone not in the feud. Good booking there, Tony.


This was an absolutely terrible episode of Rampage. Mostly B-level stars having C-level matches with logic that is maybe about a P or a Q at best (see what I did there?). Uch.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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