BRM Reviews the 11/2/2022 Dynamite (back to normal)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 11/2/2022 Dynamite (back to normal)

Post by Big Red Machine » Nov 4th, '22, 00:07

DARBY ALLIN vs. JAY LETHAL (w/Sonjay Dutt & Satnam Singh)- 6.75/10
Darby is apparently 15-1 in his last sixteen singles. This shocked me. He doesn’t feel like he’s on a hot streak at all.
Darby charged up the ramp during Lethal’s entrance and they started brawling. They made their way into the ring and the match started, but they soon wound up back on the outside, where they- of course- fought forever without getting counted out. Then Lethal locked in a Figure Four Leg Lock with Darby’s injured midsection underneath a barricade… and the referee came out and started counting to five as if this hold were illegal. What was illegal about applying a submission on the outside? It’s not like Lethal is using the barricade to aid in the submission. Despite this, Lethal gave up the hold and even went back into the ring.
Then, as I was dreading, the referee started to count Darby out, because unlike the past three minutes where Darby was on the outside (and Lethal, too), the wrestlers had created a situation where they could milk “drama” from the spot by teasing a count-out. You want to talk about promotion’s insulting fans’ intelligence? This insults my intelligence, thinking that I won’t notice that you’re ignoring the rules just to create “drama” and expecting me to buy in to this drama when I have spent years watching this promotion bend over backwards to ignore rules specifically so that they can avoid “cheap” or “bullsh*t” finishes like a count-out.

Despite that, I thought this was pretty good for what it was. The finish saw Darby try to hit Lethal with one of his crazy topes, but Singh stepped in the way, and it was like Darby hit a brick wall. This was enough to get the referee to eject both Singh and Sonjay, and while he was busy doing that, someone dressed as Sting jumped the guardrail and hit Darby with a baseball bat, the rolled him into the ring for Lethal to pin him.
And yes, Tony Schiavone did, in fact, believe that this person was Sting. How many times a day do you think Jesse Ventura used to fool him with “Up high. Down low… TOO SLOW!”

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- hilarious, for all the wrong reasons
Obviously this fake Sting is Lethal’s secret advisor who knows all of Darby secrets. They reveal that person to be… “Cole Karter?” “From the Factory?” I have no idea why Kole Carter would know Darby’s secrets, and I’ve been watching Darby Allin since he debuted in EVOLVE in early 2016, and I have never heard their names spoken in the same sentence.
Also, why the f*ck was this guy wearing a mask? A mask hides your identity. You don’t need to hide your identity if no one knows who the f*ck you are.
They all started to beat Darby down, but then Sting’s music played, and Tony Schiavone joyously shouted “IT’S STING!” The heels all went to the bottom of the ramp to head Sting off, while I, being the mean person I can sometimes be, was thinking that it would be hilarious if a fake Sting came out, just to make Tony feel bad.
Well… we didn’t get a fake Sting, but instead of someone coming down the ramp to help Darby, a figure dressed in all black snuck into the ring and hit Darby with a guitar. This person looked a lot like Jeff Jarrett to me, but Tony Schiavone was certain that it really was Jeff Jarrett, so I automatically assumed that I must be wrong.
Turns out it actually was Jeff Jarrett. I didn’t know he had been fired (and if he hasn’t yet, he’s about to be).
As for the idea of bringing Jeff in, I say the same thing that I said when he started appearing on WWE programming in 2019. “WHY?!”
Jeff told Darby that his hero-worship of Sting had made Sting a “weakness” for him, but I didn’t see that at all. It’s not like the Sting outfitted fooled Darby and lulled him into a false sense of security.
Jeff the cut a promo on not just “the delusional AEW fanbase,” but also “Tim, Andrew” and the other “bozos in production.” You mean the people whose help you clearly just had to pull off this completely pointless ruse?
Jeff tells us that his family’s “fingerprints are all over” AEW. He also said that when he was done with AEW, there would be “full bodybags.”
Why is Jeff angry at AEW? And if he’s some kind of interloper, why is security not trying to get him out of the ring, or production not shutting his microphone off? And why did production help him with his ruse?
This was the most TNA thing I have ever seen… except when TNA did it, always came off as desperate. This is almost more pathetic than that because AEW has no reason to be desperate.

JON MOXLEY PROMO- mostly good
He cut a good promo on Lee Moriarty… but he never once acknowledged the fact that Moriarty was part of a group of guys who beat the sh*t out of him last week!

ELITE RETURN VIDEO- didn’t like it
This one was a little too cutesy for me. Also, if they’re going to be opposing the company, these really shouldn’t be shot as if they are part of the show. Stick them AFTER the bumper, and take the AEW bug off the screen at the very least.

AEW WORLD TITLE ELIMINATOR MATCH: AEW World Heavyweight Champion Jon Moxley vs. Lee Moriarty (w/Stokely Hathaway)- 6.25/10
Ethan Page joined the commentary team for this match. The match was good. Moxley won cleanly, then got attacked by Ethan Page.

EARLIER TODAY, DR. BRITT BAKER, DMD NO-SHOWED HER SIT-DOWN FACE-TO-FACE WITH SARAYA, MODERATED BY RENEE PAQUETTE- bad
I thought Saraya came off quite poorly here. You can’t bury Britt Baker for thinking she is a big-shot and then put over how amazing AEW’s women’s division has been. Britt has been such a huge part of the division’s success that the two are inextricably linked. Saying this made Saraya sound like she was talking out of her ass and didn’t actually watch the product before joining the company.
I also hated the whole “she’s only out for herself!” criticism of Britt. She’s a f*cking professional combat athlete! Her job is to win matches and make money. Saraya’s attitude her is the bullsh*t in WWE’s women’s division that we all made fun of, where everyone was so concerned with the “Women’s Revolution” and betraying that by not working for the good of the whole was the worst possible sin.
Renee then asked Saraya about her medical status. Saraya responded that she would tell us all next week, because she wants to consult one more doctor, first. In this segment, we learned absolutely nothing. And this was a segment that they spent an entire segment on last week’s show building up to.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS WILLIAM REGAL- bad
He said that MJF showed him that he had potential next week, but potential won’t help him beat Jon Moxley. Regal told MJF to do things the right way, so MJF did…and as a result, he got kicked out of his group and assaulted… and Regal doesn’t even mention it?

BILLY GUNN BIRTHDAY BASH- HORRENDOUS!
The last time we saw Billy Gunn, Shane Strickland had kidnapped him and BROKE ALL OF HIS FINGERS WITH PLIERS! And now everyone is all jokes an smiles. They’re giving Billy gifts, like giant foam scissoring hands. They ragged on Billy for being part of “the worst-worked segment of all time.” What does that mean in kayfabe?
I cannot believe I’m saying this in 2022, but can we get Jeff Jarrett back out here so that I can hear more about this vaguely worked-shooty angle he is doing.
The joke about their planned special guests not show up because they were upset that Billy didn’t show up at their reunion was funny, but everything else here was painful.
Eventually they reveal that they have gotten adoption papers so that he can legally become their “daddy.” This brought out Gunn Club. I assume was supposed to be upset about this, but to me it was a babyface turn. They caused a distraction so that W. Morrisey could attack Billy and the Acclaimed from behind, so Morrisey is a babyface now, too.
FTR came out chase the Gunns and Morrisey away. Then they engaged in what I think is one of the more underrated AEW booking tropes- one babyface picking up a belt and looking longingly at I before handing it back to another babyface.
Anyway, this F*CKING SUCKED! This was one of those segments where you hope no one else walks into the room and see you watching it.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS BRITT BAKER & JAMIE HAYTER- snore
Dr. Baker says that she no-showed the earlier interview for the laziest booking reason of all time, “I do things on my own time.” She and Jamie Hayter say that they “just want to wrestle,” so they ask for a team to step up and face the on Rampage in a tag team match.


ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Chris Jericho(c) (w/Jake Hager & Daniel Garcia) vs. Colt Cabana- 7/10
Ian Riccaboni was on commentary for this match. He spun a wonderful story about Cabana recently having had to look in the mirror and wonder if his career was over, but how he’s back to save ROH, and it would have been really great if there had been any hint of Cabana having this kind of self-doubt on TV (or even just on the ROH shows).
The whole area appeared to be cheering for Cabana during the shine, and yet when they cut to the crowd, they cut to the six most bored-looking people in the building, only one of him was chanting.
Jericho won cleanly after being saved from outside interference. Colt’s fire early on was tremendous. I think if Cabana had been some sort of surprise challenger on a PPV or a Dynamite with A LOT of build, people could have bought the idea of him winning the title.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT-
The Jericho Appreciation Society grabbed Ian and Jericho started slapping him. Fortunately for Ian, now that the PPV is approaching, real stars could come out and save him. This time it was Claudio Castagnoli and Bryan Danielson. Sammy Guevara and Wheeler YUTA also got involved, and then security finally got off their lazy asses to do their jobs. These groups have been feuding for about six months now.

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS DEATH TRIANGE- meh
Rey Fenix is excited because he is going to become a double-champion tonight by winning the All-Atlantic Title. Pac tells him that if he wants to win and get revenge on Orange Cassidy on behalf of the group, he needs to use a hammer. It’s a three-way match, so why not?

AEW ALL-ATLANTIC TITLE MATCH IN WHICH THE WINNER GETS TO DEFEND THE TITLE AGAINST THEIR DREAM OPPONENT ON RAMPAGE: Orange Cassidy(c) vs. Luchasaurus (w/Christian Cage) vs. Rey Fenix (w/Alex Abrahantes)- 7.25/10
They did moves. Stuff was cool. Jungle Boy came out with a chair and took out Luchasaurus. I had to go back in my notes and check if this was some big return from injury or something, but it wasn’t. He just hasn’t been on TV for a few weeks. This left OC and Fenix alone. Pac ran out and gave Fenix the hammer, but Fenix didn’t to use it. OC countered Fenix’s next move, and won shortly after.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Pac assaulted Orange Cassidy. He grabbed the hammer, but Katsuyori Shibata came out onto the stage. This apparently prevented Pac from using the hammer to put Orange Cassidy out of my misery, even though Shibata was about fifty feet away. Best Friends and Rocky Romero also came out. Pac bailed. Shibata went to the ring and told OC he wanted a title shot, so OC picked Shibata to be his opponent on Rampage. Hopefully he’ll win the title and keep it on New Japan Strong or whatever so that AEW doesn’t have to waste any more time with it.
Excalibur put this over as a “dream match,” but I just can’t believe that there is anyone in the world who hears that Shibata is coming to AEW and says that they want to see him wrestling f*cking ORANGE CASSIDY instead of Bryan Danielson or Kenny Omega or Jon Moxley or Samoe Joe.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS SHANE STRICKLAND & RICK ROSS-
Tony wants to know what Swerve did what he did to Billy Gunn. Are you f*cking kidding me? He explained it right before he did it! Pay attention to the f*cking show, you moron!
Ross shuts this line of questioning down right away. I don’t know who he is, but he comes across like a big deal. He says he wants to help might Swerve not just a successful wrestler, but also a successful recording artist.
Keith Lee showed up. He and Ross are pals, too. He gives Ross a big hug, then said a bunch of things that made want to run up to Keith Lee and give him a big hug, too. He said that he was here to get answers from Swerve because Swerve didn’t respond to any of his calls or texts all week (explaining why this is only being addressed now), said he watched back the tape of the FTR match, and even demanded to know who was behind the camera, filming Swerve when he was torturing Billy Gunn (although in hindsight, it seems like Swerve was merely giving Billy a preemptive punishment for the hell Billy and his friends put us all through earlier tonight).
Ross and Strickland deflected everything, with Swerve revealing that he got them booked in an eight-man tag, with Gunn Club against the Acclaimed and FTR.

TBS TITLE MATCH: Jade Cargill(c) (w/Leyla Grey vs. Marina Shafir- no rating, dull segment
Nyla Rose and Vickie Guerrero came out with a mic to do commentary from the stage. Why is management allowing this? Also, why does the camera keep cutting AWAY FROM THE TITLE MATCH to show them to us?
Jade kicked Shafir’s ass with ease. After the match, Kiera Hogan tried to steal the belt from Nyla, but got beaten up.

SAMOE JOE VS. BRIAN CAGE VIDEO PACKAGE- fine

HOUSE OF BLACK VIDEO- Whatever
I guess they’re back. Here is a fifth one, now. Or at least I thought I saw a fifth person. Nothing they say has proven to mean anything, so I don’t give a sh*t.

Jamie Hayter is getting a title shot at the PPV. I’m not really sure what she has done to earn it.

TONI STORM & JAMIE HAYTER VIDEO PACKAGE- bad
Apparently these two were best friends and even became “like sisters” during the pandemic. I’m sure that this is the shoot truth, but it feels like a total ass-pull because these two have been feuding since pretty much the moment Toni Storm arrived in AEW eight moths ago, and THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IT IS BEING MENTIONED… and that just happens to be a few weeks before their big PPV title match. If you announcer is going to tell us that this is “a deeply personal rivalry,” that fact should not be catching us by surprise.

ROH TV TITLE MATCH: Samoa Joe(c) vs. Brian Cage (w/Prince Nana)- 7/10
Joe won cleanly.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- snore
The Gates of Agony attacked Joe so that Wardlow could come out and make the save. Then Will Hobbs came out and took Wardlow out and posed with his AEW TNT Title. This is the sort of paint-by-numbers thing that becomes groan-inducing when you do it too often, and AEW has been on the wrong side of that line for a long time.

After last week’s great show, we’re back to the standard, which is good to great wrestling, but everything else is mediocre at best, and usually a lot worse.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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