BRM Reviews WWE Elimination Chamber 2023 (extremely disappointing)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews WWE Elimination Chamber 2023 (extremely disappointing)

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 19th, '23, 20:52

WWE Elimination Chamber 2023 (2/18/2023)- Montreal, QC

They started off with Cole reminding us that the first PPV from Montreal was Survivor Series 1997 “and we all know what happened” at that show, but “Montreal needs this to be different.” Interesting framing there. It almost sounds like the sort of thing they’d say to convince you that Sami is winning, to the point where fans will get really upset if they don’t follow through with it.

ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH FOR A SHOT AT THE WWE RAW WOMEN’S TITLE AT WRESTLEMANIA XXIX WEEKEND: Natalya vs. Liv Morgan vs. Raquel Rodriguez vs. Nikki Cross vs. Carmella vs. Asuka- 7.25/10
The wrestlers are listed in the order of their entry to the match. This was the second big PPV match for a WrestleMania title shot in a row where Liv had to start at the beginning. Cole highlighted this. You’d think this would have resulted in her at least remaining until the final two, but she wasn’t close.
She was actually eliminated second, but gosh darn it by the time she was out, they had me rooting for her, and seeing her lose was disappointing. I think I now understand why some people see so much in her. There is a great, scrappy underdog babyface in there. She just needs the right situations to bring it out of her. This was also (to my untrained eyes) one of her better matches in terms of stuff not looking like everyone is cooperating, and stuff just looking good. Raquel staying bent over on the second rope to get hit with Liv’s Sunset Bomb off the top of the pod looked hokey (and that’s not Liv’s fault), but the move itself looked great, as did a lot of the other stuff she did where you’d worry she might slip or stumble or slow down too much and make things look bad, as she has in the past.
Cross was out first after Raquel smashed her through one of the pods. The camera actually missed it because it was following Carmella, who had run in to the pod to escape Raquel’s wrath after taunting her earlier. Did they just not smarten the camera crew up? That aside, I actually liked the spot. Going though the pods has become far too commonplace, and it was nice to see it actually mean something in the match instead of just being a spot done to get a pop.
Others were eliminated soon after, mostly with double-teams. There was a small story about Carmella being a sneaky and cowardly heel. Asuka pinned Carmela to get the win. It will be interesting to see how she and Bianca Belair work together. A quick internet search tells me that Asuka has never beaten Bianca, so there is your hook for that match.

BROCK LESNAR vs. BOBBY LASHLEY- DUD!
They did about four minutes of finishers and kick-outs until Lashley got the Hurt Lock in and Brock couldn’t get out, so he just kicked Lashley in the nuts for the DQ. Then, being a giant baby and a sore loser, Brock assaulted the referee for daring to enforce the rules. The he attacked Lashley afterwards and F-5ed him through the announcers’ table.
At least the announcers are selling it like a heel turn this time. For that reason, you could argue that my giving this a DUD instead of rating it like a segment is unfair, but that’s where the Brock Lesnar baggage comes into play. Yes, I should expect this sort of thing by now. I do. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still piss me off that they’re doing a TV finish on PPV.
Speaking of wasting time, these “WrestleMania Goes Hollywood” bits also suck.

Cole calling Ariel Helwani “unbiased” felt like he was purposely trolling Tony Khan after Tony’s recent Tweet. .

MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH: Beth Phoenix & Edge vs. Judgement Day (Rhea Ripley & Finn Balor) (w/Dominik Mysterio)- 6.5/10
This was a little disappointing, considering that it was a PPV. Beth was late on the save, so Edge had to kick out of a brass knuckles shot. Even the Canadian crowd that had been chanting “F*CK YOU, DOMINIK!” for a good chunk of the match booed at this. That was one spot here that didn’t look good, but it really stood out.
The major issue, I think, was that this feud is just so far past its expiration date that it’s really hard to care. Judgement Day have been around for the better part of a year now, and this and the semi-related Rey Mysterio feud feel like pretty much the only things they have done. Beth being involved on Edge’s side after they had brought her back for his previous feud (against Miz) also contributes to this feeling of staleness. I completely understand the desire for closure from a booking point of view, but if something isn’t working, wrap it up as efficiently as you can, and see what new directions you can look for coming out of this.
If I were booking this, I would have found some way to do two singles matches instead of a mixed tag. I’d have Edge lose cleanly to Balor, and then I’d have Rhea absolutely squash Beth. She’s retired. She doesn’t need to look strong, and certainly not at the expense of the monster heel challenging for the title at WrestleMania. Then you build to WrestleMania with Edge wondering if Judgement Day- and Randy Orton before them- were right: Maybe he really is too old to do this anymore. Then you give him a big win at WrestleMania over a younger guy who would benefit from the rub of being in there with him (Austin Theory feels like the best choice, but he’s rumored to be earmarked for Cena, so maybe Montez Ford in a babyface vs. babyface match) and try to relaunch this babyface run on a better track. That way you end this interminable feud you give Judgment Day something to hang their hats on, and you don’t need to have Rhea on the losing side of a match (and being last seen laid out with Beth’s finisher) on her way to challenge for the title at WrestleMania.
And if you want to argue that they shouldn’t do that because it’d be disappointing the fans too much when they’re about to see their hometown hero Sami Zayn lose as well, then I will respond that nothing you could possibly do on this show will make that result not feel disappointing so it doesn’t matter. Also, if you were so worried about disappointing the fans, why’d you do the finish you did in the previous match, considering what was to come later on.

ROMAN REIGNS & PAUL HEYMAN BACKSTAGE- fine
Heyman gave Roman something of a pep-talk, but Roman seemed to be barely listening. He was just sitting there, drinking his energy drink.

ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH FOR THE WWE UNITED STATES TITLE: Austin Theory(c) vs. Johnny Gargano vs. Seth Rollins vs. Damian Priest vs. Bronson Reed vs. Montez Ford- 7.5/10
The wrestlers here are in order of entrance, except for Theory, who is at the front because he’s the champ and I have OCD. Theory entered third.
They did stuff. Rollins, Theory , and Gargano all played off of each other nicely. Reed was a tank. It took a bunch of superkicks and three finishers in a row to eliminate him. There was an INSANE spot off the pod that I won’t spoil. Montez was “injured” after getting stomped in the platform outside and pinned, so they had to open the door to get him out, which allowed Logan Paul to run in and cost Rollins the match. It’s good that they’ve finally figured out that he needs to be a heel. I don’t like interference in matches like this, and doubly so for the finish.

WWE UNDISPUTED TITLE MATCH: Roman Reigns(c) (w/Paul Heyman) vs. Sami Zayn- 7/10
Michael Cole claimed that Ivan Koloff, who ended Bruno Sammartino’s legendary WWWF Title run was from Montreal. NO, HE’S NOT! HE’S A F*CKING RUSSIAN! If the show is on the air, you should be keeping kayfabe!
Graves explained that Roman used the “champion’s prerogative to enter first” if he so chooses. That’s the explanation we’ve been waiting fifteen years for.
Okay. Enough milking the moment. Start fighting already.
I’m sure I’m in the minority in terms of not rating this as some sort of classic, but it just didn’t work for me. Yes, the crowd was hotter than any WWE crowd in a very long time, completely with Punk vs. Cena vibes, but just because the crowd is on fire and you execute everything crisply doesn’t mean you’ll have an amazing match.
The first issue with this match was how even it was. Sami didn’t feel like an underdog here, getting hit with move after move and refusing to stay down. The slow pacing of the match exacerbated this, as Sami had so much time to recover between moves because of Roman’s jabbering when Roman was in control, and the slow pace meant that Sami’s offense during his comebacks didn’t have the frenetic feel of desperation that they need to in order to make him feel like an underdog seizing what could well be his one chance in this match.
The second issue, as you’ve probably guessed, was the overbooking. Firstly, there was the mechanics of it. I’ve watched A LOT of pro wrestling in my life, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a match where it felt like the referees were waiting for cues to either come out or wake up after getting bumped more than it did in this one. And how the hell did that first replacement ref possibly not see Jimmy interfering? Are we supposed to believe that he was looking down at his feet while running down the ramp?
Then there was the logic of the interferences. The first one was by Jimmy Uso… and no one came out to stop him, despite the fact that Kevin Owens was in the building, and Jey Uso was also in the building and wasn’t sure if he was siding with Sami or Roman. If you want to excuse Jey for not trying to stop Jimmy, I can maybe let that go, but with Owens, it’s completely inexcusable unless the idea is that Owens didn’t actually want Sami to win the title, which has to wind up with Owens turning heel on Sami, which would have to happen soon enough that this reunion would be frustratingly short-lived, and it would have this Sword of Damocles hanging over it because either we’d know an Owens heel turn is coming eventually (or, if Owens doesn’t turn heel, then there is this obvious unanswered question that should have been asked but wasn’t).
The second interference was that of the aforementioned Jey Uso. He hopped the guardrail and stopped Roman from hitting Sami with a chair. Roman, having apparently learned absolutely nothing from the Royal Rumble, handed Jey the chair and told Jey to hit Sami, then turned his back to Jey. Luckily for Roman, Jey didn’t hit him with the chair. Roman eventually turned around and snatched the chair back, then pie-faced Jey. Their arguing gave Sami time to recover, and he went to spear Roman, but Roman moved and Sami accidentally hit Jey instead.
This frustrated me to no end. It has been three weeks since the Royal Rumble, Jey. Make up your mind. The moment you jumped into the ring to stop Roman from using a chair, you helped Sami by default, so unless you were doing it specifically to actually hurt Sami yourself and thus demonstrate to Roman your allegiance, you shouldn’t have done it in the first place if you weren’t willing to stand up to Roman. Jey’s actions felt like they were designed to be a hook for us to watch Smackdown this week rather than actions that a real person would take in this situation.
Watching this made the decision to have Jey walk out on the Bloodline at Royal Rumble completely baffling. If the idea for Mania isn’t Owens & Zayn challenging the Usos, I have no idea what it could possibly be for Owens and Zayn, and almost no idea what it could be for the Usos, unless they’re doing Jimmy vs. Jey, which seems like a bad idea (brother vs. brother for such dedicated teams almost never works, as people just don’t want to see them fight each other). And if you are doing Owens & Zayn vs. Usos at Mania, what benefit is there to having Jey and Roman at odds with each other. Also, if Jey had attacked Sami here, the story works much better, as Jey become a foil for Sami- not being willing to do the right thing and stand up to Roman in the end- and also something of a foil for Owens, who despite not smiling at Sami, ultimately had his best interests at heart, while smiling, happy Jey ultimately did not.
Roman got the chair, hit Sami with it, then hit a spear and pinned him to retain the title. Oh, yeah. Sami got a visual pinfall on Roman in here, just like Owens did last month. And just like with Owens last month, I have no faith in it going anywhere.
Anyway, all of this made the ending of Roman winning after interference for the millionth time very frustrating, and the fact that the match went OVER THIRTY-TWO MINUTES before giving us an ending that resolved absolutely nothing made it even worse.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- snore
The heels decide to beat Sami up. Jey is still down on the floor about several minutes after taking a spear from a guy who doesn’t even use it as a finisher. Kevin Owens made his big return to save Sami. Where was he when Jimmy Uso was trying to cost Sami the world title? Heyman took a bump. Sami got to take Reigns out with a Helluva Kick. This felt like something done in a pathetic attempt to send the crowd home happy after beating their favorite in a frustrating match. It reminded me of the sh*t you’d see at the end of ROH in the last few years when Delirious decided to just coast on a paycheck instead of putting actual effort into doing his job.

This was an extremely disappointing show from WWE. In just five matches, we got three f*ck finishes (and in arguably three biggest matches on the card), and pretty much everything other than the opener underdelivered. This is the kind of show that kills momentum, and is the exact opposite of what WWE needed their final PPV before WrestleMania to be.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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