NWK reviews WWF the Big Event

[NWK2000]

Hi folks, it's New World Kid here to to bring you a semi-organized blurb of thoughts that constitute a wrestling review. Usually, each match has its own subheading, and the thoughts I have while watching said match are listed in bullet point format. I'll try to avoid armchair booking as much as humanly possible, but if we get to some crazy dumb stuff (read: Starcade 1997) I will be unable to contain myself.

Okay, here we go with



New World Kid Reviews WWF The Big Event

I've always been enthralled by the "story" of this Pay Per View, that being that WWF announced an event in Toronto Canada, and everyone got so excited a huge crowd turned out, leading the WWF to treat the event as a PPV-worthy supercard. Let's see if some of the legendary matches (Hogan/Orndorff, Steamboat/Roberts) holds up.


Gene Okerlund starts out with narrating a video package, telling us about Toronto, along with 5 second cuts to some the wrestlers making their entrances. He tells us about the musicians who are going to perform at the stadium, as if WWF had never done a major stadium gig here. 65,000-70,000 attendance, which is pretty mind blowing. Adrian Adonis and Jake Roberts get top billing along Hogan/Orndorff

Killer Bees vs Funk Brothers (Jimmy Jack and Dory) w/Jimmy Hart
-The commentary team is Monsoon, Valiant, and Ladd
-The WWE Network mislead me here, they mentioned The Funk Brothers, but I believed they meant Terry and Dory, not Jimmy Jack
-Brunzell hits a bunch of scoop slams on both Funks, which was pretty awesome.
-Valiant says Jimmy Jack looks like a raccoon because he's wearing a Domino mask. I can see him being the Dusty Rhodes of this tthree man team.
-Blair distracts the red and Jimmy Jack punches Brunzell in the back to break a sleeper, in a cool, simple heel spot.
-The ref doesn't care that the Bees have donned masks.
-They do the switcher roo that the Bellas used to do, and one of the Bees rolls up Jimmy Jack.
The Bees had a great "babyfaces in peril" formula going that came to a screeching halt with the dumb masks.
Would've been a 5 in a half if not the dumb finish, so 4.75/10

King Tonga (better known as Haku vs Don Muraco w/ Mr.Fuji
-A quick Wikipedia search indicates that Tonga actually gouged one of Jimmy Jack Funk's eyes out in '87. Ouch
-Valiant essentially calls Tonga dumb and Monsoon says "Only because he isn't near you would you make those remark. Apparenly Monsoon has been witness to a barfight of Tonga's.
-Apparently the arm bar was so long that they had to cut to a different point in the match. Stupid Colleseum video edits
-Cool move where Muraco does a monkey flip to get out of an armbar, but Tonga keeps the hold on
-Fuji goes to hit Tonga with his cane, drops it, and quickly pokes him with it.
-Muraco locks in a nerve hold, which gets extra points from me, nerve hold is the best rest hold
-Muraco works over the legs, Tonga mounts a comeback, and the time expires mid two count.
6/10, would've been higher if not for the pointless draw

Tony Garea vs. Ted Arcidi
-Ted Arcidi does the old "throw the guy backward causing an Irish Whip" spot, screams, and no one gives a crap.
-Only after he flexes does the crowd boo. He flexes to another part of the crowd and approximately one girl stands up and cheers.
- Garea builds some momentum after failing to knock Arcidi off his feet and gets caught in a bearhug, and wins.
3.5/10

Interview with an extremely young looking Jimmy Hart.
Hart wants to get even with Junkyard Dog, who's taken off his pants twice, but gets pulled off camera by Adrian Adonis, who is literally wearing make up and blush.
In what I can only imagine is the magic of Collesseum Video editing, JYD gets about half a second of his entrance, and then we go to the match.
Junkyard Dog vs "Adorable" Adrian Adonis w/Jimmy Hart

-We immediatelly get started with kinds of technical masterpieces that you can only find in JYD matches, when JYD backs Adonis into a corner, and starts hitting him with his chain, these are some of the safest weapon bumps I've seen since WCW Hardcore matches. Valiant asks the very valid question of, "Why isn't he DQed" and is promptly ignored
-JYD goes into his dumb stupid headbutts, and Adrian tries to take a bump to the outside, bit instead ends up looking like he's taking the world's weakest "shoulder first into turnbuckle" bump. Gorilla saves this by saying that Adrian was trying to bail, but misjudged where he was. Good save by Gorilla Monsoon but Jesus Christ
- Adrain ends up taking a Flair turnbuckle flip bump out of the ring, and Junkyard Dog does another one of those big dumb headbutts to the outside. And no, not a dive move, just a regular old headbutt
-JYD shoves the ref, which allows Jimmy Hart to sneak some perfume to the eyes, this is the second time that the JYD should've been disqualified.
-People are getting so mad at Jimmy Hart that they're throwing trash at him, haha wow.
- JYD wins on a counntout, despite no visible count by the referee at all, factor that in with the fact that I contend that Junkyard Dog was the worst wrestler to ever get in the ring in WWE, and that he should've been disqualified twice, and you have this abyssmal piece of crap. This match was so bad in fact that I adjusted my rating for Garea/Arcidi to account for how dumb this was.

0.5/10


Dick Slater vs. "Iron" Mike Sharpe.
-Both men get pops, Sharpe being a Canadian heel.
-Slater gets a wrist lock, and Sharpe screams "OW!" now that's what I call selling
-Slater breaks up a knuckle lock with kicks to the stomach and a hand stomp in a cool spot. Slater wins with an elbow drop to a standing opponent and a Jacknife Powerbomb
4.5/10, would've been really awesome if they'd gotten more time.

Interview with Bobby Heenan
- He hypes his match with Bundy and Studd vs The Machines and Albino, and him managing Orndorff to a title
-He credits himself with the Big Event's success
- Gene Oakerlund, uses the word "weasel" in a sentence, Heenan gets pissed, and a Weasel chant breaks out, very funny end to the segment.


The Machines and Lou Albano vs Bundy, Studd, and Heenan
-I would like to point out that Super Machine is CLEARLY not Andre the Giant under a mask.
-Giant Machine finally knocks Big John Studd down in jumps up and down in an amusing moment.
-Bundy sells being whipped into the ropes with a "WHOOOOOAH" in another amusing moment.
-Lots and lots of strikes thusfar
-Jesus Bobby took a flip bump....and it ends in DQ because a thir Machine shows up.
5/10, would've been a 6 or 7 without the babyfaces doing heel stuff.and the DQ ending

Jake Roberts vs Ricky Steamboat

-Ricky Steamboat comes out to the not "Ultimate Dragon" theme, but to "Sirus"
-Only five minutes into the match do we finally get told that a "Snakepit" match is No DQ no Countouts.
-Gorilla Monsoon tells us that it would be too dangerous to have a "real snake" and, get this, "a real dragon" at ringside
- People marked out for the most basic of hardcore spots in this match.
-Props to the guy relentlessly cnanting "DDT"
-Steamboat wins with a quick rollup.
7.5/10, not either man's best work but still a solid match.

Billy Jack Haynes vs Hercules Hernandez
-Gorilla is on his own for this one for some reason.
-Leapfrogs by not guys yeeee.
-Gorilla goes "Oh, he rang his bell, it must be dinner time" gosh
-Hercules low blow's Billy Jack to get out of a full nelspn and some guy goes, "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW LOW BLOW!"
-Billy Jack gets the win with a backslide after a really uneventful match
-2.5/10



Rougeau brothers vs the Dream Team (Beefcase and Hammer)
-Not only are the Dream Team not matching by Valentine is matching with the Rougeaus
-One of the brothers teases a low blow but instead its a huge hip drop on Beefcake
-Double headlock reversal by the Rougeaus knocking the dream team into each other
-Test of strentgh on the turnbuckle by the Rougeaus, and then a slam into the other brother for a pin.
-The Rougeaus win after some back and forth and some great babyface in peril. The illegal brother makes the pin but this doesn't effect the finish.
6.5/10, significantly better and significantly more innovative than the Bees/Funk match

Harley Race vs Pedro Morales
-Harley wins after a really sort match with a "foot on ropes" pin
-2/10


-Hulk Hogan vs Paul Orndorff, the WWF Championship on the line.
-It's weird to hear both men come out to "Real American"
-My favorite part of this match has always been the two jackasses chanting "Wonderful"
- Bobby Heenan is still in his gear from earlier, he couldn't find some pants?
-I've always thought the Jumping Elbow was a great part of Hogan's repitoire.
-Orndorff sells the atomic drop by diving head first into the turnbuckle, awesome.
-Hogan goes after Heenan and gets cheapshotted by Orndorff
-Suplex on the outside, and Orndorff mocks Hogan's poses
-Great knee by Orndorff
Cool, off the top roe Paunch by Orndorff
-Hogan goes for a piledriver and gets million dollar babyed, and by that I mean a stool to the head.
-The ref taps the shoulder of Orndorff during the pin/ref bump, and someone gets so angry they throw a Teddy Bear into the ring.
-The ref, despite being out at the time, decides Orndorff's done something devious and DQs him. Hulk then Hulks up when Orndorff tries to angrily stomp him, blocks a shot with the belt, and that's the end of it.

7/10 would've been much higher if not for the DQ finish


Final thoughts
This card, overall had "Survivor Series 1991" syndrome, that being, despite being billed as a PPV quality event, felt like an advertisement to tune in to the next several weeks of WWF Television. Almost none of the top matches on the card had decisive finishes, one of the matches was a squash match better served for Wrestling Challenge. This event, while it had some highlights, was essentially a Saturday Night's Main Event in front of a Wrestlemania sized crowd.

[Big Red Machine]

If they could have gotten a real dragon at ringside, I would have been very impressed.