NWK Reviews Survivor Series 2006

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NWK2000
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NWK Reviews Survivor Series 2006

Post by NWK2000 » Sep 18th, '20, 15:21

11/26/2006
Philadelphia, PA

Intro


I love me some Survivor Series, and I was feeling nostalgic for some Summer/Fall 2006, so let's get it on!


Opening video package: Great, full of historic footage, the teams walking down to the ring together and big brawls. Also does a great job hyping up Kennedy vs Taker, and Batista vs Booker.


The Spirit Squad (Johnny, Mikey, Nicky, and Kenny) (w/Mitch) vs Team Legends (Ric Flair, Sgt Slaughter, Ron Simmons, and Dusty Rhodes (w/ Arn Anderson)



Ron immediately gets counted out stalking one of the spirit squad guys around, which also leads to Arn and Johnny being ejected. Sgt Slaughter moves at the speed of a parade float, and Nicky bumps his ass off (surprised?). Dusty still has babyface fire but the crowd doesn't pop for anything he does. Flair eliminates everyone but Nicky on his own.

While this was probably the best place for this match on the card, it went entirely too slowly, so the crowd was done popping for the nostalgia acts and then had to sit through more of it, no doubt thinking, "Why am I watching any more of this?"

2/10

Post match: Bad. The pressure on the Figure 4 is reversed, which leads to a Spirit Squad beatdown. None of the other legends come out to help. This was lame.

Benoit vs Chavo video package: Benoit wants revenge for Rey, who was injured for Chavo, this pivots into Benoit throwing accusations at Vickie and Chavo "poking around in Eddie's estate." Now, I'm now attorney, but, Vickie is entitled to it as the widow. This is a dumb storyline and the heels are the sane one.

WWE United States Champion
Chris Benoit (c) vs Chavo Guerrero (w/ Vickie Guerrero


Man, Chavo is super lucky that he has a parade of infinitely more charismatic family members to workwith in angles (Eddie, Chavo Sr, Vickie) or else he would've been fired a long time ago.

Benoit takes momentum. I just realized how much better Benoit's working strikes were than Chavo's weenie hut general strikes and it's urking me. Benoit has momentum until Chavo randomly starts laying them in the corner, and I wish that happened more often. Vickie gets Chavo's feet to the ropes to break a Crossface but Benoit just starts kicking ass again. I remember thinking as a teenager that they could've given Benoit another title run, and I totally see it here. Chavo cheats and has the momentum. Chavo jawjacks which gives Benoit the opening for the Triple German, which Chavo gets ridiculous height off of. Vickie distracts Benoit so he misses a headbutt. Chavo hits a suplex and frogsplah but only gets two. Vickie gets knocked off the apron, and Benoit transitions from kicking out of a schoolboy into a crossface and I about creamed my jeans. Chavo taps.

This had sparks of excellent wrestling, but Chavo is C-Tier at best, and this was more about a dumb storyline than the technical wrestling
5.75/10
JBL goes off at Benoit for "hitting a woman" which sets up the next month of program.

Edge and Lita interview: Lita cuts a bare bones heel promo, and cuts a bitchy retirement promo. Edge cuts a decent promo on his match tonight. Cryme Tyme steals things from Lita's locker room, which is the highlight of this segment. This was meh.


Lita's Retirement Match: WWE Women's Championship
Lita (c) vs Mickie James


Lita has the momentum for 90 percent of the match, Mickie mounts a comeback, but Lita counters all of her big moves, but Mickie kicks out of a Litasault. Mickie starts countering stuff and gets momentum. Mickie hits her DDT and wins. Lots of slut jokes as she goes out, which has been going for the entirety of the time she's been on screen tonight.

6.75/10
Post match: Cryme Tyme sells Lita's stuff. Vibrators, yeast cream, bras and panties. It was gross at the time, it's gross now.

Micheal Cole interview with Batista: Terrible They're trying to do the super emotional Dateline NBC line of questioning but it's Micheal (censored) Cole, and Batista says nothing. Batista gets his one liner in at the end, but this was a waste of our time.


Team DX (DX, The Hardy Boyz, and CM Punk) vs Team Rated RKO (Rated RKO, Gregory Helms, Johnny Nitro, and Mike Knox) (w/ Kelly Kelly and Melina)


DX, Punk, and the Hardyz were my favorite wrestlers at the time, so this was a dream of mine. The babyfaces pump up the crowd in what I can only describe as house show antics. Seeing Trips have his arm around Punk and hearing Punk do "Are You Ready" is a mindfuck in 2020. Punk and Kelly flirt during the entrances, and Mike grabs her and yells at her, and Punk doesn't look slightly mad. What a dick. Also Rated RKO's theme is sex in music form.

Hunter beckons Kelly to flash him, and Knox teleports into the ring to get Sweet Chin Musiced to be eliminated. HBK mimes not knowing who Mike was. Poor bastard. Matt is the first guy to get ganged up on by the remaining heels because he's the least cool. tag to Punk who taps Nitro out with the Vice. Now it's Punk's turn to get cheated on by the heels. Randy hits the RKO, and they sell a double down before Randy pins Punk. I was super worried that they'd eliminate Punk that way but HBK breaks it up. Seeing HBK and Jeff do tandem dives to the illegal heals after a brawl made me mark out not gonna lie. Hardyz/Punk grab Rated RKO when they try to bounce, hit their signature moves so DX can hit their big moves on Edge to eliminate him. When Orton runs the younger guys go collect him so the veterans can hit their big moves on Randy to win.

This was the most 80s Survivor Series match of all time but by God I love it. Eeking it up a point because Hardyz+Punk+DX=happy 15 year old NWK= Happy 29 year old NWK.

6/10

Undertaker/Kennedy video package: Fucking awesome. Kennedy gets the demon warble in his voice and beats the shit out of Undertaker with his microphone. Undertaker makes it rain blood.
Kennedy interview with Kristal Marshall: Kennedy starts to answer the dumb interviewer question, but MVP rocks up. They bring attention to the fact he's wearing vasaline, and MVP offers to help out Kennedy because he (MVP) is feeling good about beating Kane recently and inevitably beating him tonight.


First Blood Match
Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy


I like Mr. Kennedy here. He's intense, has a strategy, and is afraid within reason, as one might be when facing down a wild animal, despite years of experience.

The flow of this match is one I think is missing from modern stuff. Basically Undertaker is relentlessly Mr,Kennedy's ass, and he, the heel, has wormy heel hope spots. JBL sells strikes as important because you can make a man bleed internally. Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth but the ref is checking on Taker after two low blows. This might be one of the most subtle cover ups I've ever seen when MVP shows up and helps him wipe the blood drops away. They tease a walkout, but MVP throws him back in for leaving him out to dry against Kane and Taker. Kennedy gets a head slam into one of the exposed buckles. MVP accidentally hits Taker with a chair, which busts him open. Kennedy keeps beating the crap out of Taker after the bell rings, which is a nice touch. Kennedy stands over Taker to announce his own victory, but gets goozled, Kennedy fights out of the goozle, and Undertaker proceeds to beat his ass some more, including a gnarly looking wrap around chair shot and Tombstone.

This was awesome. Even though it was a bit wacky, it gives me interest in a return match, and where MVP stands in all this.

7.75/10
King Booker and Queen Sharmell promo: I used to hate this gimmick, but hindsight has shown us they enjoyed it, so it gives it a whole new level of charming.


Team Cena (RVD, Sabu, Bobby Lashley, Kane, and John Cena) vs Team Big Show (MVP, Finlay, Umaga, Test, and Big Show) (w/ Armando Estrada)


A production assistant districts Finlay while a ref abducts his sheleighly, making him look like a dumbass. At this point, Bobby had only been on the ECW roster a few weeks. Amazing to consider he'd get the top babyface push a month later.

Umaga gets knocked out of the ring out of a hot start with Cena. He responds by murderizing everyone with a TV monitor. Umaga rules, and as I've said at length here, is one of John Cena's best opponents. We spend so much time on Umaga's exit that we miss the brawl in the ring, which looked tepid, but is mandatory in selling the Survivor Series concept, so I wouldn't have minded keeping the camera off of Umaga.

In the guffaw, RVD becomes the babyface in peril. It takes a John Cena distraction and a Kane assist for RVD to hit the frog splash on MVP. Test eliminates RVD quickly. Similarly, it takes a Bobby Lashley assist, and Arabian Facebuster, and a Tornado DDT from Sabu (of all moves that could be Sabu's finish, why that?) to pin Test. Big Show immediately eliminates Sabu with a bumpy looking chokeslam. The crowd loves the 300th Kane/Big Show staredown since 1999 as we reset. Hornswoggle runs in between the big chokeslam stalemate which allows Finlay to produce another sheleighly and help Big Show pin Kane. Finlay and Show illegally double team Show. Lashley gets the tag and cleans house. We get a botched spot in which Lashley spears Finlay while he's holding Hornswoggle so that Cena ends up with him. Either way, Cena thinks FU, but Big Show puts a stop to that nonsense with a boot. From that point it becomes John Cena and Lashley vs Big Show, with Big Show nearly fighting off everyone until Lashley gives the assist which allows Cena to hit the FU for the win.


This was complete chaos, but consistent chaos. Lots of run ins and bullshit, but in a way that built to future events (Lashley vs Big Show and Cena vs Umaga mostly), so that automatically puts it a league above the other two Survivor Series matches tonight.

7/10

King Booker vs Batista video package: Between all the things that made King Booker great, (Regal and Sharmell, Booker calling people rogues), and Batista's "Rocky Balboa about to make a comeback and win the big one after shenanigans" presentation this is great.

Teddy Long promo: Weird in that he has to tack on the "If Batista loses he can't challenge for the title again" stipulation which should've been in the video package. However, I appreciate the tacked on "Get counted out/DQed, lose the title stip) I wish this manner of positive surprise existed today

If King Booker wins Batista can never challenge for the title again, If King Booker gets counted out or DQed, he loses the title.
King Booker (c) (w/ Queen Sharmell) vs Batista


Batista, babyface that he is, jumps Booker during his entrance, the referee allows it, and JBL, the heel commentator, condones it. What? However, this does create the interesting dynamic of Sharmell insisting that Booker fight and not get counted out when he rolls out of the ring, which I thought was interesting. King Booker is a non-threat until Sharmell cheats. Batista has good babyface fire though. Booker makes a comeback after some fire, and gets to the ropes on a Batista Bomb. Sharmell cheats, distracts the referee. A belt shot is dodged, Batista uses the title, and wins.

I know they had to keep Booker some ambiguity to latch onto , as he'd be in and out of the main event picture on Smackdown before the steroid scandal, but I would've liked it if Batista had hit his move and won. Batista's good babyface fire can't make up for the shenanigans at the beginning though, and that's why in my mind, this was a smidge below average.

4.5/10

Conclusion


A meh show from the WWE. 2/3rds of the Survivor Series match deliver on the fun factor, and all of the singles matches basically had the same formula with varying degrees of success. The rest of the card just stank.
Up next on NWK Reviews
Matt Riddle's/Josh Barnett's Bloodsport
AAA When World Collide
WWE Wrestlemania 21
NJPW Ultimate Crush 2003-4

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