BRM's thoughts on the 1/13/2011 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

1. The Genesis recap package was very good. It not only reacpped the PPV, but it set some things up for this month as well.

2. Anderson blames Triple H for getting him fired. Sorry, Kenny, but it wasn't just Triple H who got you fired. It was a bunch of guys, including Cena and Orton, because you were dangerous in the ring. Don't just blame Hunter because you know that people will pop for it, but will boo if you blame Orton.

3. Other than the above, Anderson's promo was very good. Both the worked part, and the worked-shoot.

4. The stuff between Anderson and Morgan was great.

5. The stuff with Anderson and Bischoff was good, too. I like them hyping up a future episode of Impact. Also, we learn (well assume, anyway) that this Hogan-Dixie Carter legal BS will come to an end.

6. The fight was good, too. It all made sense, and got some heat back on the heels. It also gets Matt on TV early, which they needed to do becasue there are probably people tuning in to see him.

7. TNA World Tag Team Title match: Beer Money vs. MCMG- 6.75/10. Very good, especially considering Shelley's injury. I really hope they aren't breaking MCMG up.

8. Good segment with Anderson and RVD. It looks like they are going to take a page out of Cena's book.

9. Pope turns heel by making fat jokes at Joe. This fell flat on its ass. People should have been booing, but instead, they were just plain grossed out. I'm not even sure that you are allowed to show animals mating on TV (Taz claiming it was a picture of "one pig trying to jump over the other one" was funny, though).

10. Joe was good on the mic.

11. Having the cameraman stand outside the closed door while hearing sounds of weapons bashing on things and Immortal guys screaming and groaning in pain just came off as SOOOOO corny that it killed the segment.

12. The Kaz promo was a waste of time.

13. Yay. The Jeff Jarrett MMA BS is done forever.

14. The thing with Jarrett, Kurt, and Karen was dumb.

15. Why are they showing clips from the earlier video package? We already saw these! Either show the video package and not the clips, or show the clips, but not the video package. NOT BOTH! When you show both, it just wastes our time.

16. Anderson says that he wants the "real" TNA World Title belt. Good. The problem is that EY has it. Which means that we will have a comedy feud over the world title. BOOOO!

17. As Winter is pulling her away to go to their match, Velvet asks Angelina "Where are you going"- Does Velvet really not know what her best friend's match on the card is? And even if she didn't, Angelina is obviously going to the ring for her match! Her tag team partner, WHOSE MUSIC IS PLAYING is pulling her off towards the ring! Please don't tell me that Velvet is that blonde that she can't put 2 and 2 together. The only two people in the Impact Zone I would believe are THAT stupid are Taz & Tenay.

18. TNA Knockouts' Tag Team Title match: Angelina & Winter vs. Tara & Madison- No Rating. They got over Winter's character well, and Mickie was a good babyface, trying to prevent an injustice. My one gripe with this match is that the ref only raised and dropped Tara's hand once before calling for the bell. Everyone knows that you do it three times.

19. Matt and Jeff's promo was good... but why the hell were they behind a fence?

20. Abyss (w/Ric Flair) vs. Matt Morgan- 3.75/10. Both guys brought it, but this match was THREE MINUTES A FORTY SECONDS LONG. The two physically largest men in the company (one of whom is a champion)... and they don't even get FOUR MINUTES. NOBODY should lose that quickly, and certainly not a champion or a monster. The post-match beatdown by Immortal just seems to be S.O.P. these days.

21. The definition of "insanity" is doing the same exact thing over and over, but expecting a different result. Ric Flair is clearly insane. Has going to the top rope EVER worked out well for you, Ric?

22. Some guy who I wouldn't have recognized as Amazing Red's kayfabe brother (indy worker Tommy Mercer) if Tenay hadn't told me who he was chokes Abyss out and says that "They" are coming on February 3rd. Oh dear G-d. Not this sh*t again!

23. Abyss acted way too normal in the segment in the Immortal Lockerroom.

24. RVD & Mr. Anderson vs. the Hardy Boys- 6/10. A slow match that didn't get enough time, either. After the match, Immortal comes out for some more beatdown.

The first third of this show was so good that I couldn't believe that I was actually watching Impact. The rest of the show told me that I wasn't dreaming. This was Impact, and it still managed to suck.

Stupid Announcer Quotes:
1. Tenay- "We open the in-ring aspect of Impact with a return match from Genesis"- Really, Tenay? The "in-ring aspect of Impact"? "It's a f*cking MATCH! JUST SAY MATCH! And it's a World Tag Team Title match! Try to sound excited, not like a ridiculously formal robot with a stick up its ass!
Matt Striker can get away with saying overly fancy things like this because, unlike you, he doesn't say something stupid every five minutes.

2. Taz misuses the term "sacrificial lamb."- It is even more annoying that usual, as I realize that his stupidity makes me have to retype the SAME DAMN SENTENCE every week. (I was shocked when he actually used the phrase correctly later in the broadcast... or it would have been a correct usage if Jarrett had actually run away from Kurt, but Taz didn't know that Jarrett wasn't going to run when he said it).

3. Tenay- "We are anticipating the arrival, at any minute, of Kurt Angle"- Why? He doesn't work for TNA anymore. He hasn't since Bound For Glory. Why would you expect him to show up? And if be bought a ticket... how do you know he is late?
And if Kurt does work for TNA for some reason... why is he allowed to show up to work late?

4. Taz- "I'm surprised that we didn't see a ton of beer get up-chucked out of the mouth of James Storm"- Yeah. Because Storm usually pukes when BOBBY ROODE gets a double foot stomp to the chest. Taz realized his mistake, but this is still embarrassing. They don't look that similar.

5. Tenay- "As Mike Tenay and Taz welcome you back to Impact, we have to talk about Jeff Jarrett's MMA exhibition at Genesis-"- No you don't. You just showed a video package about it a few minutes ago.

6. Taz (during the KO's Tag Title match)- "Fireman's carry. Or firewoman's carry, actually. Because that's a woman, not a man."- Yes, Taz. That was the joke. And I say "was" because you just killed it.

7. Taz- "I actually think Matt Morgan might have a few inches on Abyss, but Abyss would have that bodyweight advantage"- you THINK? I'm am 100% certain that this is the case. Why am I so sure? BECAUSE JB ANNOUNCED THEIR HEIGHTS AND WEIGHTS LESS THAN TWO MINUTES AGO!

8. Tenay- "It's 'the Freak' Rob Terry, as Taz just told you, the enforcer for Immortal"- If Taz just told us... WHY ARE YOU TELLING US AGAIN? WE JUST HEARD TAZ SAY IT!

[Earth Child]

WOW 8 stupid announcer quotes. was this a record?

[badnewzxl]

@ #9: You can def show animals mating on TV....so long as there's no penetration....but it's only juvenile humor, so most ppl aren't gonna like....

[Big Red Machine]

WOW 8 stupid announcer quotes. was this a record?

I think they've hit nine before.

[cero2k]

7. TNA World Tag Team Title match: Beer Money vs. MCMG- 6.75/10. Very good, especially considering Shelley's injury. I really hope they aren't breaking MCMG up.

I was thinking the same thing, two straight loses because Shelley and Sabin hit each other does kinda point towards it.

18. TNA Knockouts' Tag Team Title match: Angelina & Winter vs. Tara & Madison- No Rating. The got over Winter's character well, and Mickie was a good babyface, trying to prevent and injustice. My one gripe with this match is that the ref only raised and dropped Tara's hand once before calling for the bell. Everyone knows that you do it three times.

I hated how the ref played out that Rayne and MJ had taken off fighting and was like "ah, screw it, back to the match"...loved Love's face after the win.