BRM Reviews the 5/17/2023 Dynamite

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 5/17/2023 Dynamite

Post by Big Red Machine » May 18th, '23, 23:40

WARDLOW CALLS OUT CHRISTIAN CAGE- okay
Tony Schiavone tells us that he “has never heard anyone go as low as Christian Cage” did in his promo last week. Really Tony? You say this same thing about MJF every three weeks.
Christian came out with Luchasaurus and dared Wardlow to do something. Wardlow goozled Christian, but, of course, he was attacked by Luchasarus. Wardlow held his own until Christian hit him with a low blow. Luchasaurus then gave Christian a ladder, which Christian laid Wardlow out with. Luchasaurus then chokeslammed Wardlow onto the ladder. Wardlow stumbled back to his feet, so Christian hit him with a Killswitch on the ladder.
I’m sure you’re asking where Arn Anderson was during all of this. I sure was. They did have an answer later in the show, which was that Wardlow wanted Arn to stay in the back, but I don’t like that at all. That just makes Wardlow look like an idiot for walking into a two-on-one fight and telling his back-up to stay home.

LEE MORIARTY & BIG BILL vs. ORANGE CASSIDY & DARBY ALLIN- 6.75/10
Excalibur told us that as a result of losing the Firm Deletion match, the Firm have been “effectively deleted from AEW.” Why? That wasn’t the stipulation. The stipulation was that if the Firm lost, they would relinquish control of Matt Hardy and Private Party’s contracts.
There was good action with standard babyface in peril stuff. The finish saw Darby pin Lee Moriarty with a headlock takeover (after OC knocked Lee out with an Orange Punch) as a “message” to MJF due to their history with that move. This didn’t work for me because the whole thing with the headlock takeover in their feud was MJF being an asshole because he really didn’t beat Darby with that but rather he beat him by hitting with a weapon, and then used a simple maneuver just to humiliate Darby. The fact that it was OC who knocked Moriarty out rather than Darby means that Darby is doing a similar thing here to Moriarty that MJF did to him. Obviously, it’s not as heelish, but I don’t think it made Darby come across well. I’d rather have had him just hit his finisher and win.
The other reason that this didn’t work for me is that… well… Excalibur said he’d love to know what MJF is thinking after that “message,” but I don’t for a second believe that MJF gives a sh*t. If anything, he’s mildly amused that Darby tried to do something poetic. There is no way in hell he is angry or rattled or anything like that.

ALEX MARVEZ’S INTERVIEWS THE YOUNG BUCKS IN THE PARKING LOT JUST AS CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI, JON MOXLEY, AND WHEELER YUTA ARE GETTING READY TO SNEAK UP ON THEM AND ATTACK THEM- bad
Instead of just attacking them, the Blackpool Combat Club waited until the Bucks were ready. Matt even gave the f*cking camera an eye-roll before turning around to face these dangerous assailants. Ironically, this all happened while the BCC we wearing t-shirts that said “Be Real” on them.
The Bucks got beaten up. Matt’s injured arm got slammed onto a car while Nick got slammed onto top of that car. Moxley a promo to the camera claiming that they were the real “elite” in professional wrestling. Then the BBC just left.
This a group that has STABBED PEOPLE IN THE FACE FOR NO GOOD REASON. This feud started when- again, with no provocation- they jumped the Bucks from behind and beat them so badly that they had to be rushed to the hospital, and things have only gotten more heated since then. And now they have the Bucks down… and they just leave? How does that make any sense? Maybe it could if they had some sort of code or manifesto or something like that, but they don’t. They just decided to become meanies and attack people a few months ago, and that has been the extent of their character development (or lack thereof). Yes, I remember Danielson’s decree that they hate people who they think are “amateurs,” as opposed to “professionals” like themselves. But until it is explained to us what they believe is the distinction between those two categories, there is no character development because the terms are meaningless. (Yes, they train hard and want to be the best, but all of those things were true before they turned, too).
I remember a shoot interview with Scott Hall (his first RF one, I think), where he said that the AWA brain trust when he was there “was fascinated by the idea of a gimmick, but they had no idea how to create one.” “I was ‘Big’ Scott Hall. That was my gimmick.” That’s how I feel about Tony Khan and characters. He loves the idea, but he doesn’t understand what it takes to take the notes on a paper and book them in a way that they feel like a real person rather than as just a tool of the booker, whose actions are decided by the booker needs for the story at that moment rather than by any coherent or consistent internal desire.
But fine. For this segment, it was way past the point where we could have them just stop after a little dusting and have it make sense, so how can we get them to stop if we don’t want to have them grievously injure the Bucks? How about have security run in and stop them? That’s their job, isn’t it? Tony already applies security ridiculously inconsistently, just why not use them here so that you can try to preserve what little character the Blackpool Combat Club have?

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS WARDLOW IN THE TRAINER’S ROOM- bad
The trainer is giving Wardlow ice. Arn Anderson came over, grabbed the ice, and threw it away. How is that going to help? The damage is already done?
Arn said that he should have been out there, but Wardlow says that what happened is exactly why Wardlow asked Arn to stay in the back. Arn says that they have seen what Christian will do, so the question is now “what are you prepared to do?” Wardlow reveals that he is prepared to beat Christian at his own game by offering Christian the TNT Title shot he so badly wants… in a Ladder match at Double or Nothing.
What an idiot! He doesn’t want Arn to get hurt by trying to get involved, so either he’s walking into another two-on-one but this time with his title on the line, or he’s creating a situation where Arn will feel the needs to get involved and thus likely get hurt (and he’s still possibly wind up in the two on one situation anyway).

Every time I see that AEW DraftKings commercial, I am dumbfounded. Do they think that having 2.0 there acting like total clowns will make the commercial appealing to wrestling fans?

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS ORANGE CASSIDY- fine
He says that if Kyle Fletcher wants an AEW International Title shot at Double or Nothing, all he has to do is find Tony Khan to make it official. As far as Orange Cassidy promos go, this was pretty good, but are they really spending a PPV title match on a tag team wrestler from another company? Yes, this could be leading to some big reveal for Forbidden Door, but you could achieve the same purpose by doing the match on TV the week before or after the PPV.

SAMMY GUEVARA vs. EXODUS PRIME- squash

SAMMY GUEVARA PROMO- This was an excellent babyface promo. At this point, they really can’t go back to having him be heel without damaging whatever potential future babyface turn they have, unless he winds up in the spot that it seemed like Daniel Garcia was planned for as the guy who turns babyface on the JAS when it becomes clear that Jericho is holding him down (and even then they will have to tread carefully until they get to that point).

DOUBLE OR NOTHING WORLD TITLE MATCH VIDEO PACKAGE- This started off with Excalibur claiming that the careers of MJF, Darby, Jungle Boy, and Sammy Guevara “have been intertwined since the first-ever AEW event, Double or Nothing, four years ago in Las Vegas, Nevada.” Wow. That’s pretty impressive, especially when you consider that DARBY ALLIN WASN’T EVEN ON THAT SHOW!

TONY SCHIAVONE’S IN-RING INTERVIEW WITH JEFF JARRETT, JAY LETHAL, SATNAM SINGH, & SONJAY DUTT NEVER GETS STARTED BECAUSE FTR ATTACK THEM ON THE RAMP- meh
They brawled for a long time. No one tried to break it up. I could have sworn that last PPV-cycle there was some match that was deemed so important that security wouldn’t let the participants brawl, lest one of the competitors because injured before the PPV and the match not take place. Shouldn’t that same logic apply here?
Anyway, brawling happened. FTR had things won, but then Karen Jarrett came out of the crowd and attacked FTR. Shouldn’t security have stopped her? Also, she had better hope that Jeff never watches this tape, because he surely won’t be happy with her taking time to primp her hair and pose for the crowd before attacking Cash as FTR were set up to hit Jeff with the Big Rig/Goodnight Express/Shatter Machine/whatever that move is called now.
I thought it was very odd to do this big weapons brawl to build up a match that won’t have a lot (if any) weapons in it. I also thought it was odd that none of the announcers teased the idea that Mark Briscoe didn’t come out to try to break things up because he is upset at Dax for accidentally piledriving him last week.

RENEE PAQUEETE’S INTERVIEW WITH DARBY ALLIN IS INTERRUPTED BY SAMMY GUEVARA- great
More babyface stuff from Sammy.

HIKARU SHIDA & BRITT BAKER vs. THE OUTCASTS (Toni Storm & Ruby Soho) (w/Saraya)- 6.5/10
Apparently Jamie Hayter isn’t medically cleared due to the attack on her by the Outcasts a few weeks ago. Remember when Adam Page wasn’t medically cleared and security showed up every time he and Moxley got into a brawl? Where was security last week when Hayter, Britt, and Shida were fighting the Outcasts?
Meanwhile, the babyfaces are outnumbered at ringside yet again, because in this feud the babyface are idiots and never learn. I mean really. This has been framed as the outsiders vs. AEW, and no one is willing to come stand up and fight for AEW? Not even Willow Nightingale, who this two babyfaces rescued from these same heels last week?
There was action. The heels won dirty. I feel like I’ve seen that a million times in this feud this year. Excalibur then told us that Toni Storm had set an AEW record with four wins in five days. That feels kind of out of nowhere. Why not build that possibility up before this match so that this match feels like it has some importance to it?

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS ORANGE CASSIDY AGAIN- Apparently in that last promo, Orange Cassidy wasn’t just talking to Kyle Fletcher, but to everyone. And apparently exactly twenty people have been in to see Tony Khan about this title shot so far. Twenty people huh? And isn’t this PPV coming up in a week and a half the one that usually has a twenty-one-person battle royale on it, but no such match has yet been announced? Yeah. This doesn’t feel hokey at all.

TONY KHAN MAKES A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT- He said a bunch of stuff everyone following the news has already known. We’re getting a new show on Saturday nights called Collision, debuting on June 17th.

FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH WITH ADAM COLE AND THE JERICHO APPRECIATION SOCIETY BARRED FROM THE BUILDING: Chris Jericho vs. Roderick Strong- 8/10
They had a crazy brawl on their way out of the building, where Adam Cole was waiting to attack Jericho and help Roddy win. The babyfaces’ plan works only because the heels were too dumb to see the obvious coming and employ the obvious counterstrategy that I noted last week.

“JUNGLE BOY” JACK PERRY vs. RUSH (w/LFI)- 7/10
Jungle Boy is challenging for the world title in ten days, so of course the finish here saw Rush have JB set up for this finisher, but then decide to go argue with the referee and Jungle Boy rolled the distracted Rush up for the pin. Then Rush went right back to beating Jungle Boy up.
I am still absolutely baffled that Tony hired Rush in the first place after the sh*t he pulled in ROH. What happened here? Did Tony give in to a midcarder who refused to put the #1 contender top babyface over cleanly? Or is Tony so dumb that he doesn’t understand how this finish undermines Jungle Boy?

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- fine
Rush and Preston Vance beat Jungle Boy up. Darby Allin came out to make the save, but he got taken out as well. Sammy Guevara came out to make the final save.

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS MJF- great
He’s upset, so he just slaps the microphone out of her hand and walks away.

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS TONI STORM- didn’t like it
Toni is using this “four wins in five days: an AEW record!” thing to justify demanding a title shot at the PPV. I cannot ever remember seeing a title match felt like such a last-minute ass-pull because the booker forgot to book a title shot.
Toni did at least try to present to us a reason for why the outcome might be different from when she lost the title to Hayter, but that failed for me because she said some generic “I’m not the same Toni Storm this time” bit instead of saying the obvious thing, which is that this time, Toni will people at ringside to counteract Britt Baker. It feels like AEW has been trying to retcon the way Hayter won the title out of existence, which is extremely frustrating to me in the general sense because of amazing lack of respect for your viewers that it shows, and doubly so in this specific case because the fact that Hayter cheated to win the title and everyone loved her for it and no one in management did anything about it was part of the impetus for Toni’s heel turn!

RICKY STARKS vs. JAY WHITE (w/Juice Robinson)- 6.75/10
White worked over Ricky’s ribs, which is fine. What I don’t like is the announcers telling me that “that serious rib injury” that Starks fought through at the end of last year is all of a sudden a thing again. If you’re telling a consistent story about if flaring up every few weeks then that’s one thing, but this feels like an announcer’s misguided attempt to transfer gravitas from something else to this thing that is doing just fine on its own, and trying to pile external gravitas on it feels like you’re trying too hard.
This was fine for what it was, which was an angle build to a gimmick match at the PPV by having Starks get frustrated and use a chair (which Juice had introduced into the ring) on White to get DQed.

TONY SCHIAVONE’S INTERVIEW WITH DON CALLIS TURNS INTO A COMPELTELY DIFFERENT SEGMENT- didn’t care for it
Callis took credit for all of Omega’s success, but didn’t explain why he turned on Kenny. Kenny Omega came out to fight through Callis’ security, but the Blackpool Combat Club )this time including Bryan Danielson) attacked Kenny from behind and beat him up a little bit, but really not much. See my comments on the earlier segment for why this is a problem.
The BCC made it to the ring and Moxley started to cut a promo. This was interrupted by the Young Bucks sauntering out with a garbage can full of weapons. Why weren’t they out here to helping Kenny before? Ditto for Adam Page, who then made his big return. He has an eye-patch because I guess he actually got stabbed in the eye but Kenny didn’t.
The Blackpool Dumbass Club ran unarmed at a bunch of guys carrying weapons, so they got their asses kicked. In the only good part of this, Adam Page cut an excellent promo challenging the BCC to an Anarchy in the Arena match at the PPV.


This was a decent show from AEW. The PPV really started to take shape tonight. The things that usually bothered me were certainly present (other than the dumb comedy, I guess), but not at levels sufficient to make the show hard to enjoy. It wasn’t a particularly good show, but it certainly wasn’t bad or overly frustrating, either.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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