That “Championship Eliminator” name is SOOOO dumb.
They had a good, long, “WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP” style of match, which they proceeded to ruin in the final few minutes. First there was the execution on that ref-bump. UCH. That should have been a firing offense. It looked like Bryce purposely stopped counting the pin before MJF had kicked out so he could run around to the other side of Cole and be in position for Cole to bump into him.
That led to what might have been a clever variation on the Eddie Guerrero spot, except that instead of throwing the belt away and just pounding on the supine MJF, Cole- the babyface- decided to just cheat and hit the heel with the title belt. Next, we had MJF pulling the Dynamite Diamond Ring out of his tights. He does this in basically every match, and it could all be prevented by the referees taking the completely normal step of checking him for weapons before the match, like they should be doing to everyone.
So MJF puts the ring on and goes to bunch Cole, but the referee blocks the punch. Yes, the referee. Pro wrestling referees will usually go flying at the slightest touch, but this one was able to block a full-force punch from the world champion.
Jake Hager, who hasn’t been on TV in what seems like forever and hasn’t done anything important on TV in even longer than that, is getting a TNT Title shot tonight. Even more infuriatingly, Excalibur called him a “longtime rival” of the champion, Wardlow. These men are not “longtime rivals.” They were rivals for a short time, a long time ago. There is a massive difference.
Cole took advantage of this and hit the Panama Sunrise, but the time limit expired at two. Cole wanted five more minutes, but, of course, MJF didn’t. Tony Schiavone was indignant that MJF didn’t want to keep going, even though there is no reason he should have to, and Tony acted as if Cole had been screwed out of a title shot.
CM PUNK VIDEO- fine
I usually hate these things where they have someone cut a promo telling us to stick around/tune in next week to see them cut a promo, but given the circumstances of all of the controversy with Punk and the fact this is a hook for the first episode of a new show, I was fine with it.
RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS SAMMY GUEVARA IN THE RING- great, despite its flaws
Sammy was a total babyface. He said he would be the world champion. Darby Allin interrupted to encourage him to turn babyface.
This, of course, brought out Chris Jericho. He asked Sammy why Sammy never asked him for help when he was chasing the world title. If Sammy had asked him for advice, Sammy would be world champion right now. Sammy counters by asking why Jericho didn’t call him for help when he was fighting- and losing to- Adam Cole. Cartoonish mega-ego Jericho demands and apology from Sammy. Sammy refuses. Jericho says that he will show Sammy who his boss is by… teaming up with him next week. I’m not really sure I follow the logic there.
Darby slips in and say that Jericho no longer has it in the ring. Jericho suggest that he and Sammy beat Darby up right here, right now. Darby said he wasn’t alone, and Sting came out. The announcers noted that this would be a first-time-ever match-up. They faced off with their bats. Jericho did the Crow Sting bat-under-the-neck to Sting and Sting responded right back. Jericho eventually backed down.
I thought this was a really great segment, but there were parts of it that just felt a little off.
Darby being the guy to turn Sammy babyface doesn’t quite feel like it fits to me. The puzzle pieces fit together well in that Darby’s relationship with Sting can be used as a foil of Sammy’s with Jericho, but Darby and Sammy don’t have anything that feels like a real history of friendship to be exploited here (the way that you could with, say, Jimmy Jacobs and Alex Shelley, or- to use a more recent and more obvious example that somehow came to be after Jacobs and Shelley- Kevin Steen/Kevin Owens and El Generico/Sami Zayn), and Darby in particular really doesn’t come across as the type to care too much about people not in his friend group. It feels like a piece from a different puzzle that just happens to fit perfectly in that spot. The lines match up, but the picture doesn’t. That being said, he played the part very well.
Then there is the whole Jericho/Sammy exchange. I really hate the portrayal of Jericho as someone who is supposed to be smart, and yet his immediate response to someone coming out and saying “you don’t need Jericho, you can stand on you own two feet” is to come out and essentially declare “Sammy, you are my slave!” instead of doing some actual diplomacy. Especially for someone like Sammy Guevara who he has ben with for so long and who he is supposedly such good friends with. You might respond to that by saying “yes, BRM. That’s the whole point of the story. Jericho is not really Sammy’s friend. He’s just using him,” but the problem with that response is that that’s not actually what has been happening. In fact, they just told us that. Sammy’s retort to Jericho was “why didn’t you ask me for help in your big match?” If Jericho is the selfish asshole they want us to see him as here, then he would have had no problem asking Sammy for help against Adam Cole, and yet he didn’t, even though he clearly asked everyone else in the JAS to help.
Instead of this line designed to create conflict, Sammy’s response should have been that he realized he wanted to do it his own way. This could set off warning bells in Jericho’s head, but give him an opening to real Sammy back in with a carrot rather than a stick (or, in this case, a baseball bat. I’ve really tortured this metaphor, haven’t I?). Now Jericho can offer to help Sammy, and then you can build up to Sammy turning babyface fully by earning another title shot and deciding that he doesn’t want to things Jericho’s way (i.e. cheating), because he wants to be a good role model for his daughter (who will be closer to being born by then).
SANADA PROMO- snore
He wasn’t bad or anything, but I just don’t see how anyone could possibly care about him defending a title we all know he won’t lose against someone who will be getting this title shot not because they have done anything to earn it but rather because they’re someone Tony Khan is comfortable having take a loss at the moment. Yeah, I’m sure the match will be great, but I’m sure that if you spent some time building up some other match and getting me invested in the outcome, that would be great, too, and someone in AEW would actually benefit from it. And if my choices are seeing Sanada vs. a midcarder in an 8.25/10 match or seeing nothing in that spot, I’d honestly rather have back the twenty-five minutes of time the match will take (between entrances, action, and exits) so I can do other things.
MOGUL EMBASSY (w/Prince Nana) vs. ORANGE CASSIDY, KEITH LEE, DARBY ALLIN, & STING (w/Dustin Rhodes)- 6.75/10
Did anyone else see the word “NO” written faintly on the screen in big black letters soon after the bell sounded for this match? I assume I’m not hallucinating, but SlingTV SUCKS, so it could just be them screwing up.
Excalibur noted that Brian Cage’s gear was somehow a reference to the Sting & Darby vs. Team Taz feud, and that this was somehow an attempt to get into Sting’s head. I am continuously both amazed and infuriated by AEW’s ability to remember and pay attention to tiny little details like that and yet completely ignore gigantic logical details in storylines, like why a team will be preemptively barred from ringside one week because they cheated the previous week, but then they’ll ignore that and come out and interfere anyway, and then the next week they’ll be wrestling the same people in a rematch as a result of their cheating the previous week, and yet that week they won’t be preemptively banned from ringside.
Moves happened. Sting pinned Brian Cage, so the ROH World Six-Man Tag Champions lose again. Daniel Garcia was shown watching backstage for some reason or another.
RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS GUNN CLUB- snore
They ignore Renee’s question about why they attacked Ricky Starks last week and instead challenge the Hardys to a match next week. They called them washed up and over the hill. That’s the second time we’ve had supposed stars being called old and washed up on this show.
AEW TNT TITLE MATCH: Wardlow(c) (w/Arn Anderson) vs. Jake Hager-
Hager jumped Wardlow from behind on the ramp. Stuff happened. Wardlow’s ankle got worked over a bit. 2.0 came out to get involved, but Arn and his kid stopped them. Apparently they chased them backstage, but the camera missed that important detail. Wardlow won in seven minutes, most of which took place during a commercial.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- fine
Christian Cage and Luchasaurus appeared on the KhanTron, but the audio screwed up so they were hard to hear. Fortunately, the crowd was cooperative and didn’t make too much noise.
Christian said that Luchasaurus accepted Wardlow’s challenge for a title shot on Collision this Saturday night, and revealed that Wardlow would have to do without Arn, because they apparently caught Arn backstage and beat him up.
HIROSHI TANAHASHI PROMO- He wants a title shot at MJF at Forbidden Door.
RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS MJF- awesome… but not for the reasons they want me to think it is.
Renee says that the match is official, but MJF says no because he doesn’t feel like “giving a title shot to some rando from some rinky-dink indy fed in Japan.” He threatens to no-show the show. I’m certain this is not how AEW wanted me to react to this, but I popped huge for MJF refusing to give Tanahashi this title shot, because what the f*ck has Tanahashi done to earn it? It’s essentially the same as the Sanada situation, except that MJF does actually stand to gain a little bit from beating Tanahashi.
Actually, the more I think about it, the more annoyed it makes me. It’s more useful than the Sanada title defense, but in terms of storyline, at least there is no clear and obvious challenger to Sanada right now. In AEW you have not only the returning CM Punk- who never lost the title in the ring- and Bryan Danielson, who has won almost every match he has had in AEW and MJF had to cheat to beat him in a world title match. In hindsight, it’s f*cking infuriating that they didn’t lust let MJF beat Danielson cleanly if Danielson was just going to turn heel right afterwards. And that’s not even looking at someone like Kenny Omega or Jon Moxley, who should be owed title rematches but are currently involved in something else, or someone like Orange Cassidy, who has won a million matches in a row at this point.
RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS ORANGE CASSIDY- didn’t like it
OC made a meta-joke about the repetitiveness of the booking of his title reign. Zack Sabre Jr. showed up to play into that hoke and challenge him to a match. Daniel Garcia also showed up. He clumsily transition to talking about Katsuyori Shibata taking the ROH Pure Title from him and demanded to know where Shibata was, as apparently he and OC are pals. OC said that Shibata wasn’t here tonight, but would be next week. Because apparently Orange Cassidy knows Shibata’s schedule, even though it goes completely against his character. OC challenges them to a tag match against him and Shibata next week.
Yeah, Danielson is being used elsewhere, but my main takeaway from this is that Orange Cassidy is still a painfully disappointing waste of Zack Sabre Jr. I’d much rather see Zack face Adam Cole, Jake Hager, Josh Woods, Angelico, Shane Strickland, Miro, Malakai Black, Wheeler YUTA… f*cking RODERICK STRONG. Hell, his style could probably get you a great match out of Keith Lee right now. Or even Dustin. I’d even rather see how a guy like Ricky Starks does against Zack than see him against a like OC who usually just has decent but spotty matches.
AEW WOMEN’S WORLD TITLE MATCH: Toni Storm(c) (w/Ruby Soho) vs. Skye Blue- You know what? I’m activation the Ascension Protocol and giving this a DUD on principle for frustrating, stupid, pointless repetitiveness. This feud has been going on for MONTHS at this point, and yet we’re still getting the following formula: The babyface are too dumb to work together from the beginning, so the heels cheat by interference. The babyface gets a visual pinfall (which is even worse here because the heel is now the f*cking champion and this is babyface is on the bottom of the totem pole, and we know it wont ever be followed up on), but the heels win. Then the heels try to attack the babyface after the match, at which point another babyface runs out and chases them off. I’m done with it. This whole feud has been completely atrocious.
RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS JUNGLE BOY & HOOK- meh
Jungle Boy vowed to win a title this year, so he accepts Sanada’s open challenge. Wow. I bet everyone else who has talked between now and then other than maybe MJF feels really stupid.
Jungle Boy continued on to say that Hook is his best friend. That’s kind of quick. Anyway, it apparently would mean a lot to young Jack Perry if Hook would be in his corner at Forbidden Door.
VIDEO PACKAGE/PROMO FOR THE MAIN EVENT OF THE FIRST COLLISION- bad
FTR were decent, but Jay White and Juice Robinson were UNBEARABLE, and in perhaps the biggest strike against this, neither Samoa Joe nor CM Punk SPOKE AT ALL.
THE ELITE (Adam Page & the Young Bucks) vs. BLACKPOOL COMBAT CLUB (Claudio Castagnoli, Wheeler YUTA, & Jon Moxley)- 7/10
Bryan Danielson did guest commentary for this match. He said nothing interesting.
They did lots of moves. Why would you do the eight-man tag from earlier if you were going to do this later in the show?
Page pinned YUTA. This marked the first time the BCC has lost in over a year, something that would have meant a lot more if the fact that the BCC hadn’t lost in over a year had been brought up, say, heading into Anarchy in the Arena rather than halfway through this match.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
The BCC attacked the Elite right after the match. Eddie Kingston made his big return to attack Claudio Castagnoli, which only makes sense if watch ROH. Moxley ran in to stop him, and those two almost punched each other, but didn’t because they’re such close friends. If they’re such close friends, why has Kingston not called up Moxley and said “what the f*ck, dude? Why are you hanging out with these guys who are being such assholes to me?”
Matt Jackson swooped in and attacked Moxley, but Kingston pulled him off. Kingston is far too nice of a person… which is completely against his character as someone with a very short fuse. After all, Moxley didn’t lift a finger to stop Claudio and YUTA from beating on Kingston at any point.
Moxley got up and shoved Matt, then he went over and shoved Kingston, because apparently shoving his supposed friend Kingston is more important than dealing with the enemies he is in the middle of a blood feud with. The Bucks just stood there and watched those two argue. Konosuke Takeshita came out and attacked Kingston from behind while the Bucks finally got rid of Moxley (painfully obviously timed specifically so that he wouldn’t see what Takeshita did to Kingston, which wouldn’t have been a problem if the Bucks hadn’t waited around before doing it).
Takeshita paced around the ring until Kenny Omega’s music played and Kenny came out to fight him. Umm… Kenny? Your buddies have been in a brawl for the past three minutes. Where have you been? Bryan Danielson has now watched TWO different guys run in and join a fight against his stablemates in a situation that would put his stablemates at a numerical disadvantage… and sat on his ass and kept talking instead of running in to join the fight, so he’s a sh*tty friend, too.
The Elite beat up Takeshita and the BCC. Page seemed to hurt his knee on a dive. Omega was left alone in the ring with Takeshita and went to go after him again, but Will Ospreay jumped the barricade and attacked Omega… and the fans all cheered. This was yet another example of AEW booking these segments to maximize the amount of pops instead of making sure things make sense, and- lo and behold- when you do that, you condition your audience to just pop for things instead of getting invested in the story, and that’s what happened at the end here, when a new villain attacked a babyface from behind… and everyone cheered and chanted “HOLY SH*T!”
Excalibur hurriedly told us that Tony Khan just informed him that Will Ospreay would be wrestling on Rampage, but didn’t name an opponent. That last part bugged me, because it makes Tony look like either a mark fanboy, who didn’t know Ospreay was going to be here and is just excited to be able to book Ospreay, or it makes it look like Tony already had a match booked but didn’t want to spoil that Ospreay was in the building tonight by announcing it earlier… even though there was supposedly nothing to spoil because he wasn’t actually booked to appear in any capacity, as all he did was interfere in a supposedly spontaneous post-match brawl.
This was another bad episode of Dynamite, despite an awesome opener. There were some decent hooks for Collision, yes, but the rest of the show was such a cesspool of logic that it’s for me to get excited for another two-hour AEW show if it’s going to be booked like this one is.