BRM Reviews the 2/21/2013 Impact (SH*T!)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- HORRIBLE! So last week we have these matches for guys to try to earn a title shot by impressing Hogan... but instead he gives it to a guy who hasn't wrestled a match for TNA in over two months! Taz even calls this out. That's right. This was so damn stupid that even TAZ sounded intelligent by comparison. Isn't this the company with the slogan "Wrestling Matters?"

Furthermore, if you are saying that Bully has been such an asset against the Aces & Eights and there is a big Lethal Lockdown match coming up against them at Lockdown, wouldn't you want Bully in that match instead of the World Title match?

Anyway, we then get a tag team match made that will be Aces & Eights vs. Bully Ray, Sting, & Hulk Hogan (groan). If you are going to do this, why would you not announce it in advance and try to pop a rating with it. They had the perfect opportunity to announce it at the end of last week's show after Bully & Sting had runs Aces & Eights off and saved Hogan

KAZ, DANIEL, ARIES, & ROODE BACKSTAGE- it's better than Team Hell No, but still getting kind of annoying.

BAD INFLUENCE, BOBBY ROODE, & AUSTIN ARIES vs. JOSEPH PARK, CHAVO GUERRERO JR., HERNANDEZ, & JAMES STORM- short but fun. The heels' antics and Joseph Park's stuff managed to make me angry that this was so short.

ROCKSTAR SPUD vs. ROBBIE E. (w/Robbie T.)- 2/10
I get that they are building the Rob Terry face turn, but can we please give the new star having his first official match a clean win in his home country? Why not just have Spud win clean and have Terry laugh at Robbie E, then do the same thing they did for the turn (which was very well executed, although I would have actually had Terry clothesline Robbie E to give him the big face turn in his home country.

FOUR WAY ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE: Tara(c) vs. Velvet Sky vs. Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim- DUD!
The booking here made NO SENSE AT ALL! The way they eliminated Tara (Velvet hit her finish but Gail game in and stole the pin) is a great finish for a non-elimination match! To have it here in an elimination match doesn't make much sense. The point of it is to create sympathy for the babyface because he/she was the one who put the champ down, but someone else came in and stole the fruits of his/her hard work. It doesn't make any sense to do that if Velvet is going to come out of this match with the title anyway. (Yeah, they are probably going to have Tara come out next week and claim that she deserves a rematch because Velvet never pinned her... but she has her champion's rematch anyway).
Tessmacher's elimination just looked weak, and the booking of it didn't make any sense either. One would assume that the reason Velvet got the pin on Tessmacher (and, really, the only reason Tessmacher was included in this match- and there is nothing wrong with that) was to make Velvet look stronger... but if that is the case, why have Velvet pin Tessacher with a roll-up, rather than her finish?
Then we come to the finish... Velvet is trying to roll Gail up so Gail grabs the ropes to prevent herself from falling. This is a perfectly legal move... and yet Taryn Terrell has a problem with it and forcefully knock's Gail's hands off of the ropes like you sometimes see a ref do to a heel using illegal leverage (if anything, she should have made Velvet let go of Gail's waist and stop her roll-up attempt because Gail was on the ropes!) This leads to Velvet getting the advantage and hitting her finish to pin Gail. If you want to push Velvet... JUST LET HER WIN CLEAN! Don't make your ref look dumb and your babyface look weak! You want your babyface to look strong when he/she has that big title win. This accomplished the opposite of that!
The way they have done things sets up for Velvet vs. Gail vs. Tara or the belt at Lockdown (Gail will complain about biased refereeing and get herself into the match). If you wanted to do Velvet vs. Gail vs. Tara for the belt at Lockdown, just make this a non-elimination match and do the first finish! Gail is the champ, Tara has her rematch, and Velvet is a babyface who has once again gotten screwed out of the title, making her look strong and setting up for the babyface authority figure to stick her in the PPV match where our increased desire to see her win will make us more likely to pay money to hopefully see her do that.
Oh... and they had Brooke Hogan at ringside and it had NO EFFECT ON ANYTHING AT ALL, meaning that her entrance was just a waste of time.

Tenay had mentioned that this was the first of two big title matches tonight, but for the life of me, I can't remember what the other one is. I'm pretty sure they mentioned it at the op of the show, but perhaps they should actually spend some time hyping the match up, instead of hyping, say...

HOGAN, STING & BULLY BACKSTAGE- you just showed a video package hyping up this match (for about the fourth time already tonight). You don't need to do a backstage segment do. Pick one or the other (preferably the backstage segment because that is actually NEW CONTENT that also hypes up the match.

GARRETT BISCHOFF vs. SAMOA JOE- no rating, okay segment.
"Joe's gonna kill you! Joe's gonna kill you!"
Garrett last a few minutes with Joe before Wes Brisco runs in, causing a DQ. They use the numbers game to beat Joe down but Kurt Angle comes out, noticeably limping and wearing two knee braces, and Garrett and Wes flee. This would have been better if Kurt had a chair or something. Yeah, he's Kurt Angle, but he's clearly injured with some pretty damn obvious weak points and they have a numbers advantage. Once again, Aces & Eights are made to look like bitches.
Anyone else remember how Tenay hyped Bully Ray up as a guy who has always led the fight against Aces & Eights? Well where the hell was he when Joe was getting beaten down?

Kurt then announces that he will face Wes Brisco at Lockdown.

We get a merch commercial during which they advertise that the TNA shop is selling ACES & EIGHTS' GEAR! WTF?! This makes no kayfabe sense at all! Aces & Eights is a separate entity. Why would they give TNA the rights to sell their merch? And TNA has to give royalties to Aces & Eights. Why would TNA sell Aces & Eights merch if it would give Aces & Eights money (even if TNA makes more money off of it than Aces & Eights, from a kayfabe POV, shouldn't no one want to buy it, so they would ose money from printing all of these shirts?)
To clarify my stance on this, I understand that promotions sell heel's merch and that it is all a work... but don't advertise it on the air because it breaks kayfabe)

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Rob Van Dam(c) vs. Kenny King- 5/10
Match of the night so far... which doesn't say much.

During the intro do this match, Tenay tells us that Aces & Eights goal is to take over TNA. It seems to me that pretty much nothing they have done in the past few months has in any way been moving towards this goal.

Tenay also said that Aces & Eights were "a serious threat that has to be stopped now." This made me laugh my ass off. Those Aces & Eights vests probably have old WWE j.o.b. Squad shirts under them.

STING, HULK HOGAN, & BULLY RAY vs. DOC, DEVON, & MR. ANDERSON- DUD!

Sting and an injured Bully ay beat up all three guys on their won. Then four Aces & Eights guys show up on the ramp, two holding Hulk Hogan (whom they obviously beat up) and the other two holding Brooke. When Bully comes to make the save, ALL FOUR GUYS RUN AWAY! This allows the Aces & Eights guys to use their three-on-one advantage and beat Sting.
here is the problem... THIS DOESN'T ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING FOR ACES & EIGHTS! If there goal is to take over the company, this match doesn't mean anything to them. So why would they kidnap two company executives and then let them go just to win a meaningless match!

So TNA spent so much of this show hyping up this match... and especially Hogan's presence in it... and they don't deliver on it. I really do try to avoid making this comparison, but this is the sort of crap that WCW was famous for.



Stupid Announcer Quotes:
1. Tenay- "For months, when it comes to stepping up; when it comes to watching the backs of Hulk Hogan, Sting, and other members of the Imapct Wrestling roster, no one has been more dedicated than Bully Ray."
For added fun, Taz groans tells to Tenay to "stop," to which Tenay responds "think about it." Be careful what you wish for, Mike. All Bully has been doing is saving Hogan just to earn Hogan's trust so Hogan will let him marry Brooke. Compare that to, say Kurt Angle or Samoa Joe, who have been feuding with Aces & Eights since mid-October. Bully, on the other hand, took some time off from his feud with Aces & Eights in order to feud with Aries.

2. Tenay says that he has "just received word" that the TNA World Heavyweight Title match at Lockdown will be a Steel Cage match. This isn't NEWS! Everyone knew that already because that is always how Lockdown has been!

3. Tenay- "this unprecedented alliance between Bellator and TNA allows King Mo to compete in both MMA and professional wrestling."
Unprecedented? Do the words "Bobby Lashley" mean anything to you "professor" Tenay?

4. Tenay also refers to King Mo as a "two sport star." It seems a bit early to call Mo a star in pro wrestling when he hasn't even had a match yet. Bo Jackson was a two sport star. Michael Jordan... not so much (side-note: WOW! I can't believe I found a sports metaphor where it is BAD to be compared to Michael Jordan!)

5. On commentary, Taz is complaining about the Aces & Eights having to take on Hogan, Sting, & Bully tonight. Does he seriously not think that three of his tough biker buddies can't beat Sting, an injured Bully Ray, and an old and broken-down hulk Hogan?

6. Tenay "How can you question the history of the immortal Hulk Hogan. he has never backed down. He has never walked away from a fight."
Anyone else remember Hogan trying extremely hard to worm his way out of the match with Sting at BFG 2011? That was only a year and a half ago. I love how Tenay remembers that BFG 2011 was the last time that Hogan wrestled, but doesn't seem to remember the circumstances surrounding it.

[cero2k]

OPENING SEGMENT- HORRIBLE! So last week we have these matches for guys to try to earn a title shot by impressing Hogan... but instead he gives it to a guy who hasn't wrestled a match for TNA in over two months! Taz even calls this out. That's right. This was so damn stupid that even TAZ sounded intelligent by comparison. Isn't this the company with the slogan "Wrestling Matters?"

Hogan giving preference to his son in law, the perfect reason to have all heels rant about Hogan and Bully from now until Lockdown. I like where this can go.

GARRETT BISCHOFF vs. SAMOA JOE- no rating, okay segment.
"Joe's gonna kill you! Joe's gonna kill you!"
Garrett last a few minutes with Joe before Wes Brisco runs in, causing a DQ. They use the numbers game to beat Joe down but Kurt Angle comes out, noticeably limping and wearing two knee braces, and Garrett and Wes flee. This would have been better if Kurt had a chair or something. Yeah, he's Kurt Angle, but he's clearly injured with some pretty damn obvious weak points and they have a numbers advantage. Once again, Aces & Eights are made to look like bitches.

not at all, not everything has to end up in a brawl. Even if Angle is injured, it's still Angle and Joe against two rookies, it's smarter to do little damage and take off

We get a merch commercial during which they advertise that the TNA shop is selling ACES & EIGHTS' GEAR! WTF?! This makes no kayfabe sense at all! Aces & Eights is a separate entity. Why would they give TNA the rights to sell their merch? And TNA has to give royalties to Aces & Eights. Why would TNA sell Aces & Eights merch if it would give Aces & Eights money (even if TNA makes more money off of it than Aces & Eights, from a kayfabe POV, shouldn't no one want to buy it, so they would ose money from printing all of these shirts?)

wrestling commercials make NO kayfabe sense at all never! they're not part of the cannon story. Besides, half of Aces and Eights have contracts by TNA which may mean that TNA (by contract) needs to promote merch of such wrestlers and thus the wrestlers gave the ok and pushed to promote aces and eights merch.

Sting and an injured Bully ay beat up all three guys on their won. Then four Aces & Eights guys show up on the ramp, two holding Hulk Hogan (whom they obviously beat up) and the other two holding Brooke. When Bully comes to make the save, ALL FOUR GUYS RUN AWAY! This allows the Aces & Eights guys to use their three-on-one advantage and beat Sting.
here is the problem... THIS DOESN'T ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING FOR ACES & EIGHTS! If there goal is to take over the company, this match doesn't mean anything to them. So why would they kidnap two company executives and then let them go just to win a meaningless match!

uh... to injure Sting who is leading team TNA to Lethal Lockdown. it's all mind games, and regardless, this is still wrestling and winning matches matter for some reason. people still settle things in the ring and not a court house.

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- HORRIBLE! So last week we have these matches for guys to try to earn a title shot by impressing Hogan... but instead he gives it to a guy who hasn't wrestled a match for TNA in over two months! Taz even calls this out. That's right. This was so damn stupid that even TAZ sounded intelligent by comparison. Isn't this the company with the slogan "Wrestling Matters?"

Hogan giving preference to his son in law, the perfect reason to have all heels rant about Hogan and Bully from now until Lockdown. I like where this can go.

Then they should have started that this week. This happened at the very beginning of the show, and they only have three weeks until Lockdown.

We get a merch commercial during which they advertise that the TNA shop is selling ACES & EIGHTS' GEAR! WTF?! This makes no kayfabe sense at all! Aces & Eights is a separate entity. Why would they give TNA the rights to sell their merch? And TNA has to give royalties to Aces & Eights. Why would TNA sell Aces & Eights merch if it would give Aces & Eights money (even if TNA makes more money off of it than Aces & Eights, from a kayfabe POV, shouldn't no one want to buy it, so they would ose money from printing all of these shirts?)

wrestling commercials make NO kayfabe sense at all never! they're not part of the cannon story. Besides, half of Aces and Eights have contracts by TNA which may mean that TNA (by contract) needs to promote merch of such wrestlers and thus the wrestlers gave the ok and pushed to promote aces and eights merch.

Of course they make kayfabe sense. Why don't they?
As for the thing about them being under contract:
1) Only Anderson, Wes, and Garrett are under contract (Devon is not)
2) Just because a guy is under contract doesn't mean TNA has to make merch for him. There was never any merch for Garrett before. Hell, Doug Williams never even got any merch and he has been much more important to the show than Garrett

Sting and an injured Bully ay beat up all three guys on their won. Then four Aces & Eights guys show up on the ramp, two holding Hulk Hogan (whom they obviously beat up) and the other two holding Brooke. When Bully comes to make the save, ALL FOUR GUYS RUN AWAY! This allows the Aces & Eights guys to use their three-on-one advantage and beat Sting.
here is the problem... THIS DOESN'T ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING FOR ACES & EIGHTS! If there goal is to take over the company, this match doesn't mean anything to them. So why would they kidnap two company executives and then let them go just to win a meaningless match!

uh... to injure Sting who is leading team TNA to Lethal Lockdown. it's all mind games, and regardless, this is still wrestling and winning matches matter for some reason. people still settle things in the ring and not a court house.

Of course winning matches is important... but only if you have something on the line in the match. Aces & Eights aren't chasing titles or trying to move up in the rankings. If they were trying to injure Sting, why not beat the crap oit of him after the match? Or why have the other four run away? Eight on two should be enough to injure both Sting and an already injured Bully