BRM Revies the 12/29/2014 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

Some chick is holding up a sign that says “Reigns spear me.” Really, lady? Look. Her personal tastes are her personal tastes, but bringing that sign on the one night that Edge is in the building? Really?

OPENING SEGMENT- Edge is wearing a Sami Zayn shirt!
Edge & Christian banter. Their short haircuts actually almost match. That’s kind of funny. They argue over whose interview show they should do. They book Reigns vs. Rollins and Rusev vs. Ziggler.
Then BROCK LESNAR showed up… and as Brock was coming down to the ring and being menacing, Lawler informed us that “Edge and Christian are both retired.”
WHAT THE HELL?! Since when is Christian retired?! Why didn’t we get some sort of announcement? Why was there no cool tribute to him with Edge and Lance Storm and Jericho and Rhino and all his pals?! Now I’m kind of pissed at WWE.
Heyman then said that Brock didn’t want to beat up guys whose careers are already over. Instead, Brock apparently wants to “penetrate the virgin neck” of John Cena. Well then… it’s a good thing the match is going to be on PPV, because they’d get thrown off the air if they did that on Raw. Goodbye PG rating.
Cena came out and said he didn’t want to fight Brock… but then he attacked Heyman. Brock tried to make the save, but almost got caught in the AA before he and Heyman escaped. Edge & Christian seem to have disappeared while I wasn’t looking.

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. RUSEV (w/Lana)- 6/10
Just as the match was getting really exciting. Rusev got DQed for not breaking in the corner. He then locked Dolph in the Accolade using the ropes. Ryback came out to make the save.

RYBACK PROMO & RETROSPECTIVE-
Video from Tough Enough! Al Snow sighting! And Daniel Puder. And a young Miz. It’s nice character history that humanizes Ryback in a way… but I’m not sure that’s the best thing for him.
A NEXUS mention! Have they even been mentioned since 2011?
I actually really didn’t like the video package in here because it kind of made Ryback look like he was doing this all to toot his own horn with the video package, which is kind of douchy.
This also felt kind of out of place with the segment that just came before. The stuff about Rusev was good, but the character stuff feels like it should have been done on another show.

NIKKI BELLA (w/Brie Bella) vs. NATALYA (w/Tyson Kidd)- no rating. Good segment.
It was short and got across the point it needed to. Also the small amount of action there was was pretty good.

MIZ & NAOMI BACKSTAGE- good stuff. Naomi was great here.

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Miz & Damien Miz-Dow(c) vs. The Usos- 6.5/10
They had a few GREAT spots in here (especially that spot where Miz threw Miz-Dow in the way of the Superkick, then schoolboy-ed the Uso for a nearfall). Usos win the titles. Naomi came out to celebrate with them. King interviewed them in the ring afterwards. They invited King to a BBQ with Champagne, featuring J.R.’s BBQ.
The only think I didn’t like was the Usos lifting Naomi up onto their shoulders. THEY WON THE WWE TAG TEAM TITLES! She didn’t do sh*t! Why are they lifting her up?

CESARO PROMO- he’s sitting in the corner like Raven, and wearing a t-shirt that says “professional” on it. He cuts what feels like both a heel promo and a worked-shoot promo at the same time. He mentioned that he won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royale. This must be the first time that has been mentioned in six months.
Cesaro makes an open challenge… and it’s answered by the returning BAD NEWS BARRETT.
Barrett cut a good promo (which he started off by saying “it’s me, it’s me, it’s B-N-B.”)

BAD NEWS BARRETT vs. CESARO- 4/10
This felt like it was the first few minutes of a completely epic match, except that instead of going on to be epic, it just ended abruptly.

LUKE HARPER PROMO- bad.
Okay… it wasn’t so much “bad” as it really felt like a rip-off. “I am born of your social environment” just sounds like a horribly lame version of CM Punk’s “I am born of your poisoned society.”

THE ASCENSION WILL DEBUT TONIGHT- oh goody. Now we get to see them deliver dumb catchphrases in person.

JACK SWAGGER vs. LUKE HARPER- 5.25/10
JBL referred to Harper’s finisher as the “Clothesline From Smell.” I laughed.

EDGE, CHRISTIAN, & CENA BACKSTAGE- POINTLESS AND DUMB.
They take a stroll down memory lane, enjoying talking about how much they hated each other… but they’re friends now. The “they” in question are Cena and Edge. Christian was made to look like a complete nobody. Then Cena said that both of them were guys that no one in the WWE ever thought would amount to anything, and I couldn’t hear anything else he said because I was laughing so hard at the ridiculousness of this statement.
Then Cena said that Edge was one of the only people in the business who is a “decent human being.” The fact that everyone in wrestling is a huge jerk is not the sort of thing you really want to be broadcasting on TV.

ROMAN REIGNS vs. SETH ROLLINS (w/Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury)- 6.75/10
Huh. I was pretty certain that this would be the main event. Oh. That’s why. It ended in a DQ. The match was going pretty well until then. They did a good angle with Reigns and Big Show after the match.

ROLLINS BACKSTAGE- he thanks Big Show, then tells the Stoogerweights to hype up his appearance on The Peep Show/Cutting Edge tonight, where he will make a New Year’s toast and also invite John Cena.

AMBROSE & WYATT WILL HAVE AN AMBULANCE MATCH NEXT WEEK- I don’t care. Gimmick matches have completely ceased to mean anything in this feud.

BRAY WYATT PROMO- okay.

DANIEL BRYAN SPEECH- AWESOME!
Great speech. He will be back at the Rumble (although they really shouldn’t bring him back until after it if he isn’t going to win it. If they were actually willing to plan in advance, they could do great stuff with a year-long storyline of Dragon working his way back up the card to regain the title he never lost at WrestleMania XXXII.

EDGE, CHRISTIAN, MIZ, & MIZ-DOW BACKSTAGE- dumb comedy. Miz will now have to work twice tonight.

THE MIZ & DAMIEN MIZ-DOW vs. THE ASCENSION- It’s another f*cking Ascension squash, but this time with facepaint that they definitely didn’t steal from Demolition.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS SETH ROLLINS- Apparently Renee didn’t pay attention to Rollins last interview. Rollins now also invites Brock to the talking segment at the end of the show.

THE CUTTING EDGE PEEP SHOW WITH SPECIAL GUEST SETH ROLLINS- okay.
Some of it was good, but other parts really dragged. I had no idea what Rollins wanted from Cena until Cole spelled it out for us. I will admit that this was a good way to bring The Authority back, but I think it came too soon after they were banished.
I also don’t see how this can’t possibly build to Rollins vs. Christian at the Royal Rumble. It’s just too perfect a set-up.

HOLY SH*T WHAT A CURB STOMP TO CENA!


Brock and Heyman showed up and shook Rollins' hand. Then Hunter and Steph came back out with Champagne. The Authority celebrated while in the background, Heyman clapped, and Brock stood there, bored.

A decent Raw. The wrestling wasn’t that good, but it had quite a few big angles and developments.

[cero2k]

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Miz & Damien Miz-Dow(c) vs. The Usos- 6.5/10
They had a few GREAT spots in here (especially that spot where Miz threw Miz-Dow in the way of the Superkick, then schoolboy-ed the Uso for a nearfall). Usos win the titles. Naomi came out to celebrate with them. King interviewed them in the ring afterwards. They invited King to a BBQ with Champagne, featuring J.R.’s BBQ.
The only think I didn’t like was the Usos lifting Naomi up onto their shoulders. THEY WON THE WWE TAG TEAM TITLES! She didn’t do sh*t! Why are they lifting her up?
I really don't see what's the point in putting the titles back on the Usos, like are they already tired of Uso/Miz(Dow) matches that we're going back to Usos/Dusts matches? and the whole idea is to get the face team Usos against the new heels Ascension, then why squash Miz(Dow) at the end instead of just debuting attacking the Usos after their win. Also, what the fuck was up with Naomi and the Usos taking advantage of the Miz like that, super douchy, Miz was just trying to help Naomi.

CESARO PROMO- he’s sitting in the corner like Raven, and wearing a t-shirt that says “professional” on it. He cuts what feels like both a heel promo and a worked-shoot promo at the same time. He mentioned that he won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royale. This must be the first time that has been mentioned in six months.
Cesaro makes an open challenge… and it’s answered by the returning BAD NEWS BARRETT.
Barrett cut a good promo (which he started off by saying “it’s me, it’s me, it’s B-N-B.”)
I marked out for 1 minute, then i was heartbroken in the next. I've been reading a lot of comments that Cesaro's fuck up on the promo will hurt him, but they don't realized that Cesaro was 100% buried here, he's supposed to cut a promo on how he gets shit done in the ring, and yet is booked to be squashed by barrett. Seriously WWE, just fire the man so he can be a god in ROH and Japan. Also, fuck the commentary table, way to bury your own guys, the only thing the talked about was Cesaro screwing up his promo and then awkward silences, if they literally have nothing to say, call the fucking match! That shit was lower than Tenay and Taz.

THE MIZ & DAMIEN MIZ-DOW vs. THE ASCENSION- It’s another f*cking Ascension squash, but this time with facepaint that they definitely didn’t steal from Demolition.
I don't know Red, Demolition's facepaint was actually pretty cool, this was horrible! I really don't know what goes through WWE's mind to squash a guy that legit excites the crowd, fucking stupid, it's not even like the ascension got heel heat for it.

THE CUTTING EDGE PEEP SHOW WITH SPECIAL GUEST SETH ROLLINS- okay.
Some of it was good, but other parts really dragged. I had no idea what Rollins wanted from Cena until Cole spelled it out for us. I will admit that this was a good way to bring The Authority back, but I think it came too soon after they were banished.
I also don’t see how this can’t possibly build to Rollins vs. Christian at the Royal Rumble. It’s just too perfect a set-up.
kinda felt that Edge looked like a little bitch, but i loved Cena and Rollins here, Rollins in particular was amazing. Also, I agree that the authority came back waaay to soon

[Big Red Machine]

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Miz & Damien Miz-Dow(c) vs. The Usos- 6.5/10
They had a few GREAT spots in here (especially that spot where Miz threw Miz-Dow in the way of the Superkick, then schoolboy-ed the Uso for a nearfall). Usos win the titles. Naomi came out to celebrate with them. King interviewed them in the ring afterwards. They invited King to a BBQ with Champagne, featuring J.R.’s BBQ.
The only think I didn’t like was the Usos lifting Naomi up onto their shoulders. THEY WON THE WWE TAG TEAM TITLES! She didn’t do sh*t! Why are they lifting her up?
I really don't see what's the point in putting the titles back on the Usos, like are they already tired of Uso/Miz(Dow) matches that we're going back to Usos/Dusts matches? and the whole idea is to get the face team Usos against the new heels Ascension, then why squash Miz(Dow) at the end instead of just debuting attacking the Usos after their win. Also, what the fuck was up with Naomi and the Usos taking advantage of the Miz like that, super douchy, Miz was just trying to help Naomi.
I think that your general reasoning for why they put the belts back on the Usos is correct, but I think that this particular title change was supposed to be more than just a title change for the sake of changing the title. I assume this is also supposed to be a big point in the Miz vs. Usos feud, where Miz will start getting meaner, and leading up to a blow-off at Royal Rumble where the Usos will retain the belts (and having them win the belts here rather than at the Rumble gets the Mizes' rematch out of the way already so everyone can go on to new things quicker.
I see it playing out where either Miz eats the pin again and blames Miz-Dow for it (or just Miz-Dow being pinned and Miz blaming him for them losing the titles even though Miz took the fall when they actually lost the titles), leading to a Miz-Dow babyface turn and a match at Wrestlemania.
As for the Ascension, if they just attack the Usos, then you have to do that feud right away. Doing it this way gives you a bit more mileage. You can have the Mizes demand a rematch against the Ascension because they weren't fresh tonight and the Ascension were (which the Ascension of course, wins) and you can play up the fact that the Ascension beat the former tag champs to set up the idea of them being a threat to the titles (maybe have them spend a few weeks beating for tag champ pairings like the Rhodes Brothers, Truth & Kofi, Slater & Gabriel, Otunga & McGillicutty etc.). You are building up the idea of them being champions without actually putting them in the title picture until it is necessary (i.e., once the real build to Mania starts)

CESARO PROMO- he’s sitting in the corner like Raven, and wearing a t-shirt that says “professional” on it. He cuts what feels like both a heel promo and a worked-shoot promo at the same time. He mentioned that he won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royale. This must be the first time that has been mentioned in six months.
Cesaro makes an open challenge… and it’s answered by the returning BAD NEWS BARRETT.
Barrett cut a good promo (which he started off by saying “it’s me, it’s me, it’s B-N-B.”)
I marked out for 1 minute, then i was heartbroken in the next. I've been reading a lot of comments that Cesaro's fuck up on the promo will hurt him, but they don't realized that Cesaro was 100% buried here, he's supposed to cut a promo on how he gets shit done in the ring, and yet is booked to be squashed by barrett. Seriously WWE, just fire the man so he can be a god in ROH and Japan. Also, fuck the commentary table, way to bury your own guys, the only thing the talked about was Cesaro screwing up his promo and then awkward silences, if they literally have nothing to say, call the fucking match! That shit was lower than Tenay and Taz.
I agree with you about the burial of Cesaro.

THE MIZ & DAMIEN MIZ-DOW vs. THE ASCENSION- It’s another f*cking Ascension squash, but this time with facepaint that they definitely didn’t steal from Demolition.
I don't know Red, Demolition's facepaint was actually pretty cool, this was horrible! I really don't know what goes through WWE's mind to squash a guy that legit excites the crowd, fucking stupid, it's not even like the ascension got heel heat for it.
It's Miz-Dow, and it was essentially a handicap match because Miz ran away. This should actually get some heat on the Miz.

THE CUTTING EDGE PEEP SHOW WITH SPECIAL GUEST SETH ROLLINS- okay.
Some of it was good, but other parts really dragged. I had no idea what Rollins wanted from Cena until Cole spelled it out for us. I will admit that this was a good way to bring The Authority back, but I think it came too soon after they were banished.
I also don’t see how this can’t possibly build to Rollins vs. Christian at the Royal Rumble. It’s just too perfect a set-up.
kinda felt that Edge looked like a little bitch, but i loved Cena and Rollins here, Rollins in particular was amazing. Also, I agree that the authority came back waaay to soon
I disagree about Edge. He looked like a guy who really WANTED to fight, but couldn't because he knew how severe the consequences could be.
I've been thinking about the whole "they brought the Authority back too soon" thing, and the more I think about it, the more okay I am wth it. We should have seen something like this coming once Vince created the "only Cena can bring the Authority back" stip, and especially once Rollins started campaigning for it. It is beginning to feel less like a cop-out/we got screwed on a stip type of deal and more like the next step in the story. This was one battle that John Cena lost.

[cero2k]

DANIEL BRYAN SPEECH- AWESOME!
Great speech. He will be back at the Rumble (although they really shouldn’t bring him back until after it if he isn’t going to win it. If they were actually willing to plan in advance, they could do great stuff with a year-long storyline of Dragon working his way back up the card to regain the title he never lost at WrestleMania XXXII.

I just realized that Dragon can still win the RR and lose his title shot at Fast Lane to Reigns in a multi man match.

[Big Red Machine]

DANIEL BRYAN SPEECH- AWESOME!
Great speech. He will be back at the Rumble (although they really shouldn’t bring him back until after it if he isn’t going to win it. If they were actually willing to plan in advance, they could do great stuff with a year-long storyline of Dragon working his way back up the card to regain the title he never lost at WrestleMania XXXII.

I just realized that Dragon can still win the RR and lose his title shot at Fast Lane to Reigns in a multi man match.

That still creates the same problem. You're putting Bryan in a situation where he can earn a title shot but doesn't get the WrestleMania title shot. Best not to have him in the Rumble at all if you aren't going to have him win it.