BRM Reviews the 4/13/2015 Raw (bad booking)

[Big Red Machine]

Cole is back. Not even a neck brace.

STOP SHOWING ME PICTURES OF LONDON! Okay. You’re there. We get it. If I wanted to see pictures of famous London landmarks, I’d google “London postcards.”

OPENING SEGMENT- HOORAY! IT WAS SHORT! And also decent.
The fans were all over Cena, as expected, but if you listen REALLY closely, as Cena is getting into the ring, you can hear a grand total of ONE person chanting “F*CK JOHN CENA!”
Cena came out and made his open challenge, and it was accepted by… BAD NEWS BARRETT? He already has a match signed with Bryan for the IC Title at Extreme Rules! Why book him here where he clearly won’t win, thus both pissing off the fans and not building him up for this title shot? The perfect thing to do with Wade on this show would have been to put him a singles match against one of the New Day guys. You know that Wade is going to get a babyface reaction and that the hometown fans want to see him win, so why not put him against someone who is both expendable, and who is ostensibly a babyface but in reality you want people to boo anyway to help fuel a heel turn?

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: John Cena(c) vs. Wade Barrett- 8/10
The match was awesome, and managed to get the crowd into it despite the fact that Wade appeared to have absolutely no chance going in. That being said, all of my above objections to booking this match in the first place still apply. For those keeping track at home, Wade Barrett has now had two matches since being announced as the #1 contender to Daniel Bryan’s Intercontinental Title match Extreme Rules. He has been pinned in both of them. Way to build up your challenger, WWE.

POST-MATCH ANGLE- Lana distracts Cena so that Rusev can hit him from behind with a steel chain. This is because Lana has negotiated with the Authority to make their match at Extreme Rules a “Russian Chain Match.”

JBL wants Cole to talk about his lawsuit against Lesnar, but Cole acts like a real person would and doesn’t do so.

Okay… so what happens if both Orton and Rollins win their matches? Do they both get to pick a stip that will apply at Extreme Rules?

DIVAS #1 CONTENDERSHIP BATTLE ROYALE- 1.25/10
Wow. It just occurred to me that there are only TWO BABYFACES and EIGHT HEELS (including the Bellas who are on commentary- in fact, it’s even more when you count Tamina and Eva, too, and I don’t remember if Layla is a heel or not, either).
On Smackdown, they tried to get over the story that this match would be every woman for herself by having Cameron attack Nattie and Fox… so of course Cameron and Fox worked together for a good chunk of the match.
There were only seven eliminations in the match, and the first four of them all came in the exact same way (dropkick to someone on the apron). Can we please get a bit more creative than that?
Paige won, so at least they came to their senses and didn’t screw the English twice… but do we REALLY need to see this match AGAIN?! Paige is great and all (probably the second-best female wrestler in the company, down only to Nattie), but since she was called up to the main roster last year, she feuded with AJ in a title feud that felt like it went nowhere, then took over for AJ in AJ’s title feud with the Bellas that also felt like it went nowhere… and now we’re going to get Paige vs. Nikki for the title AGAIN?! What the hell are they waiting for? JUST PUSH NAOMI ALREADY!

BYRON SAXTON INTERVIEWS PAIGE- she cut a good babyface promo. Then Naomi attacked her. That’s right: we’re now down to just ONE babyface Diva.

BRAY WYATT PROMO- okay. I’d probably have called it good if I had any faith that anything he said actually mattered or meant anything.

They have the Spanish Broadcast Team with them. By which I mean the broadcasters who are actually from Spain, rather than ones who just speak Spanish.

LUCHA DRAGONS vs. THE ASCENSION- 2/10

ROMAN REIGNS & BIG SHOW SEGMENT- decent. It set up well for Big Show vs. Roman, which I assume will happen at Extreme Rules. Roman also talked about retiring Big Show, so maybe Show is on his way out? The fans seem to want him to, as they chanted “PLEASE RETIRE!” at him. Big Show attacked Roman and beat him up a lot, including a chokeslam on top of a car.

RANDY ORTON vs. CESARO (w/Tyson Kidd & Natalya)- No rating. Bad segment. They went about two minutes and ended in a DQ. Then Kane came out and restarted the match as a handicap match.

HANDICAP MATCH: Randy Orton vs. Upper-Cats (w/Natalya)- 1/10
So… what was the purpose of making this a handicap match? To job out the tag champs to one single wrestler, of course! If the idea was to have Orton get screwed out of a win he should have had and then lose unfairly, then it would have been fine to do the DQ then do a handicap match with Kidd & Cesaro winning. Having Orton win the handicap match, on the other hand, gives you the same exact result as if he had one a singles match, except that you’ve now buried the tag champs (and by extension the entire division).

KANE, ROLLINS, & THE STOOGERWEIGHTS BACKSTAGE- Kane and Rollins argue. Then Rollins changes the advertised match so that it will be him vs. Jamie Noble instead of him vs. Ziggler. Noble stands up for himself, so we get more dissension between the heels. Both WWE and TNA need to cut that sh*t out because NO ONE CARES ABOUT IT! I can think of ONE TIME in the past ten years when people cared about dissension within a heel faction, and that was Batista leaving Evolution. THAT’S IT. ONCE! And yet they keep doing it!
Anyway, the end result of this is that we will get to see Kane lie down for Seth Rollins tonight, because the Fingerpoke of Doom did such great things for WCW.

DEAN AMBROSE vs. ADAM ROSE (w/the Rosebuds)- 0.5/10
Ambrose is returning to action for the first time in a week in a half because of injuries suffered at the hands of Luke Harper. You know what would have been good? IF THEY HAD ACTUALLY MENTIONED THIS AT ANY POINT WHILE HE WAS OUT! How about have Harper cut a promo about how he is going to injure his opponent just like he did to Ambrose. You know… something to let us know that there is an actual storyline going on instead of just jobbing him out to Ryback in three minutes for no reason like they did last week.
The match was short and one-sided, but not quite a squash, and entirely pointless.

BIG SHOW GIVES KANE A PEP TALK- If all of this sh*t doesn’t result in a Kane face turn, I will be very upset, because otherwise it will have been totally pointless as well as being bad.

STARDUST vs. FANDANGO (w/Rosa Mendes)- 0.5/10
Served no purpose whatsoever, but at least it was short.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Fandango decided to dance for the fans instead of dancing with Rosa. Rosa was mad because apparently this means she got dumped. The whole arena popped, at which point I decided that there is no way in hell that the WWE didn’t bribe every single person in the crowd to pop for this because there is just no way it is possible that ANYONE could give even a miniscule fraction of a sh*t about Fandango at this point. I’m pretty sure his own mother doesn’t even care anymore.

DANIEL BRYAN & KANE BACKSTAGE- okay
KANE vs. SETH ROLLINS (w/Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury)- No rating. Bad segment. I just didn’t give a sh*t because we all knew Kane wouldn’t turn because of all of the other times he (or Big Show) haven’t turned since January. This whole f*cking thing has been a gigantic waste of time. Also, WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins gets buried because he got his ass kicked by Kane.

THE MIZ vs. DAMIEN MIZ-DOW (w/Summer Rae)- 0.5
Miz jumps Miz-Dow, but Miz-Dow still beats him two minutes. Okay then. Feud over, I guess. He beat the heel, he’s got the fans on his side, he’s got the girl… What’s left for him to do? And we haven’t even gotten to the PPV yet.
Summer coming out with Miz-Dow here I guess solidifies her as a babyface, so we’re back up to two.

PRIME TIME PLAYERS PROMO- I laughed. They outed Los Matadores as the Colons, except not by name.

Oh great. Now this stupid “pick the stip” thing has its own stupid name (“The Extreme Decision”- how the hell did this get out of a room full of writers, plus Hunter, Vince, and Steph, without anyone realizing how utterly lame this sounds. It also has its own stupid graphic… and it is quite the stupid graphic. In fact, the design of all of these Extreme Rules graphics look utterly terrible. Nice bright colors with rays of light in the background… it couldn’t possibly feel any less extreme if the graphic was filed with cute pictures of fluffy bunnies.

LUKE HARPER vs. RYBACK- no rating. Eh segment.
They go to a quick DQ, then Ambrose comes out and saves Ryback. I’m sure I’d have been more into this if they had actually build this up. Do something like what I had suggested above with Harper cutting promos last week bragging about having injured Dean, then have Harper about to do the same thing to his opponent (Ryback wouldn’t work so well here, but there is no reason this had to be Ryback vs. Harper anyway), and then have Dean come out and make a surprise return to make the save rather than having him show up and wrestle a completely pointless match against Adam Rose earlier in the show.

BYRON SAXTON INTEVIEWS NAOMI- not bad, but it’s a heel turn that shouldn’t have happened. She buries the company for wins and losses not mattering. The problem, of course, is that no action will be taken to correct this, so you have Naomi pointing out a major flaw in the booking.
Also, this now marks the third relationship pair in WWE where one partner is a babyface and the other is a heel, and never once has anyone brought it up.

DOLPH ZIGGLER PROMO- decent babyface stuff.

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. NEVILLE- 7/10
Huge pop for Neville in his home country. He lost, of course, because it’s not like there were a bunch of undercard guys you could book him against have him put on a good match and then actually beat, right?

SHEAMUS ATTACKS- good stuff.

WHAT WILL THE STIPS FOR THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH AT EXTREME RULES BE?-dumb.
We get dumb boring sh*t, with Rollins acting like a movie from a D-movie. Then he declares that the stip he chooses for Extreme Rules will be that the RKO is banned. WHAT? I thought they were picking match types? If you’re going to pick a “NO RKO’s match” then why not just pick a “First Person to be Named Seth Rollins Wins” match?
Orton picks a Steel Cage match to keep the Authority from interfering. A good stip, but the build for this should have been so simple, but they took the most idiotic and circuitous route possible to get there.
Then Orton started a brawl that ended with Joey Mercury eating an RKO.

A bad episode of Raw despite having some great wrestling on it. I had really been enjoying the product over the past two weeks, but tonight’s booking was just absolutely baffling. Their PPV build consisted of a bunch of dumb sh*t that buried the world champ and the tag champs, and beat the #1 contender to the IC Title for no reason whatsoever- or even worse… to tell a story about a corporate Kane babyface turn.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. You know that springboard stunner move Cena has started doing recently? Well Michael Cole described him as being “innovative again” by hitting the maneuver. This makes no sense because something can only be innovative once. Of course, this being Michael Cole, I assume he just thinks that innovative is opposite of “vintage” and will continue to use the word innovative to mean “that move this guy recently started doing” the same way he uses “vintage” to mean “a move that person has done for years.”

2. In the last segment we heard Daniel Bryan point out that Rollins is essentially asking Kane to repeat the Fingerpoke of Doom, which was a major mistake that helped put WCW out of business. Right before the match started, Michael Cole had the temerity to ask Booker T if it was possible that Kane lying down for Rollins (i.e doing a Fingerpoke of Doom) might be best for business. Just as bad was Booker T’s response which was “it might be.”

[cero2k]

What the hell are they waiting for? JUST PUSH NAOMI ALREADY!
I honestly don't know what you see in Naomi other than being athletic and having a big butt, her acting sucks and her in-ring work always looks programmed, like she memorized the spots and is just running through the motions.

BYRON SAXTON INTERVIEWS PAIGE- she cut a good babyface promo. Then Naomi attacked her. That’s right: we’re now down to just ONE babyface Diva.
Summer Rae and Layla are babyfaces, technically, Emma in the main roster is also a face too

BIG SHOW GIVES KANE A PEP TALK- If all of this sh*t doesn’t result in a Kane heel turn, I will be very upset, because otherwise it will have been totally pointless as well as being bad.
Kane's already a heel, do you wanted to go heel-err

[Big Red Machine]

What the hell are they waiting for? JUST PUSH NAOMI ALREADY!
I honestly don't know what you see in Naomi other than being athletic and having a big butt, her acting sucks and her in-ring work always looks programmed, like she memorized the spots and is just running through the motions.
She's got a charisma and she'd be a new face in there on top. That's all I can ask for at this point (until they bring up Charlotte Sasha and Becky).
BYRON SAXTON INTERVIEWS PAIGE- she cut a good babyface promo. Then Naomi attacked her. That’s right: we’re now down to just ONE babyface Diva.
Summer Rae and Layla are babyfaces, technically, Emma in the main roster is also a face too
Why is Emma a babyface on the main roster? Is she not the same person as in NXT?

BIG SHOW GIVES KANE A PEP TALK- If all of this sh*t doesn’t result in a Kane face turn, I will be very upset, because otherwise it will have been totally pointless as well as being bad.
Kane's already a heel, do you wanted to go heel-err
Fixed.

[cero2k]

BYRON SAXTON INTERVIEWS PAIGE- she cut a good babyface promo. Then Naomi attacked her. That’s right: we’re now down to just ONE babyface Diva.
Summer Rae and Layla are babyfaces, technically, Emma in the main roster is also a face too
Why is Emma a babyface on the main roster? Is she not the same person as in NXT?
i don't think she is, main roster Emma teams up with Paige and the good girls

[Big Red Machine]

BYRON SAXTON INTERVIEWS PAIGE- she cut a good babyface promo. Then Naomi attacked her. That’s right: we’re now down to just ONE babyface Diva.
Summer Rae and Layla are babyfaces, technically, Emma in the main roster is also a face too
Why is Emma a babyface on the main roster? Is she not the same person as in NXT?
i don't think she is, main roster Emma teams up with Paige and the good girls

So what? Kaitlyn was portrayed as a babyface when she was teamed up with the heels against the clearly all-babyface Team Total Divas.

[cero2k]

So what? Kaitlyn was portrayed as a babyface when she was teamed up with the heels against the clearly all-babyface Team Total Divas.

because that wasn't faces vs heels, it was total divas vs non total divas

[Serujuunin]

I'm curious BRM about what you thought about Roman's promo here. I know that one of the big criticisms against him is that he's still and awkward cutting promos, but this one, at least to me, seemed like a whole different Roman Reigns was in there cutting a promo. He seemed comfortable, flexible and confident, and I don't think I've seen him quite that way before.

[Big Red Machine]

I'm curious BRM about what you thought about Roman's promo here. I know that one of the big criticisms against him is that he's still and awkward cutting promos, but this one, at least to me, seemed like a whole different Roman Reigns was in there cutting a promo. He seemed comfortable, flexible and confident, and I don't think I've seen him quite that way before.

Don't remember it standing out in any way. I think they need to have him stop talking so much. They are trying to have him be the friendly babyface, but that doesn't play to his strengths well and Bryan and Cena are already doing that much better. They need to stop giving him catchprases ("believe that" is fine), and he shouldn't answer each question with much more than one sentence. He should be Goldbergian in his promos. An intense motherf*cker who doesn't need to say much in his promos because he'll say it all in the ring.

[Serujuunin]

I'm curious BRM about what you thought about Roman's promo here. I know that one of the big criticisms against him is that he's still and awkward cutting promos, but this one, at least to me, seemed like a whole different Roman Reigns was in there cutting a promo. He seemed comfortable, flexible and confident, and I don't think I've seen him quite that way before.

Don't remember it standing out in any way. I think they need to have him stop talking so much. They are trying to have him be the friendly babyface, but that doesn't play to his strengths well and Bryan and Cena are already doing that much better. They need to stop giving him catchprases ("believe that" is fine), and he shouldn't answer each question with much more than one sentence. He should be Goldbergian in his promos. An intense motherf*cker who doesn't need to say much in his promos because he'll say it all in the ring.

Oh I agree with that entirely. I just feel like he's suddenly gotten more comfortable talking, which is a good thing. A useful thing to be able to do haha

[Big Red Machine]

I'm curious BRM about what you thought about Roman's promo here. I know that one of the big criticisms against him is that he's still and awkward cutting promos, but this one, at least to me, seemed like a whole different Roman Reigns was in there cutting a promo. He seemed comfortable, flexible and confident, and I don't think I've seen him quite that way before.

Don't remember it standing out in any way. I think they need to have him stop talking so much. They are trying to have him be the friendly babyface, but that doesn't play to his strengths well and Bryan and Cena are already doing that much better. They need to stop giving him catchprases ("believe that" is fine), and he shouldn't answer each question with much more than one sentence. He should be Goldbergian in his promos. An intense motherf*cker who doesn't need to say much in his promos because he'll say it all in the ring.

Oh I agree with that entirely. I just feel like he's suddenly gotten more comfortable talking, which is a good thing. A useful thing to be able to do haha

He's definitely getting better at doing what they want him to do.
Did you see the Shield documentary last summer? I thought he was pretty good in that.

[Serujuunin]

Don't remember it standing out in any way. I think they need to have him stop talking so much. They are trying to have him be the friendly babyface, but that doesn't play to his strengths well and Bryan and Cena are already doing that much better. They need to stop giving him catchprases ("believe that" is fine), and he shouldn't answer each question with much more than one sentence. He should be Goldbergian in his promos. An intense motherf*cker who doesn't need to say much in his promos because he'll say it all in the ring.

Oh I agree with that entirely. I just feel like he's suddenly gotten more comfortable talking, which is a good thing. A useful thing to be able to do haha

He's definitely getting better at doing what they want him to do.
Did you see the Shield documentary last summer? I thought he was pretty good in that.

Oh I watched it as soon as I was able. I really thoroughly enjoyed it, and also found that. But I've realized that he's better when he's just being him, instead of saying whatever he's told to say.

[Big Red Machine]

Oh I agree with that entirely. I just feel like he's suddenly gotten more comfortable talking, which is a good thing. A useful thing to be able to do haha

He's definitely getting better at doing what they want him to do.
Did you see the Shield documentary last summer? I thought he was pretty good in that.

Oh I watched it as soon as I was able. I really thoroughly enjoyed it, and also found that. But I've realized that he's better when he's just being him, instead of saying whatever he's told to say.

I think most people are like that. I really noticed with Naomi's promo this week. She sounded terrible for 95% of it, when she was clearly saying thing she would never actually say in real life.

[Serujuunin]

He's definitely getting better at doing what they want him to do.
Did you see the Shield documentary last summer? I thought he was pretty good in that.

Oh I watched it as soon as I was able. I really thoroughly enjoyed it, and also found that. But I've realized that he's better when he's just being him, instead of saying whatever he's told to say.

I think most people are like that. I really noticed with Naomi's promo this week. She sounded terrible for 95% of it, when she was clearly saying thing she would never actually say in real life.

I agree. And I also don't think the heel role suits her. She's just too happy!

[Big Red Machine]

Oh I watched it as soon as I was able. I really thoroughly enjoyed it, and also found that. But I've realized that he's better when he's just being him, instead of saying whatever he's told to say.

I think most people are like that. I really noticed with Naomi's promo this week. She sounded terrible for 95% of it, when she was clearly saying thing she would never actually say in real life.

I agree. And I also don't think the heel role suits her. She's just too happy!

I've been thinking the same thing. It just doesn't work.

[KILLdozer]

So are we just not reviewing this week's RAW? Lol

[Big Red Machine]

So are we just not reviewing this week's RAW? Lol

http://54.88.31.224/thewrestlingrevolut ... 33&t=15199