BRM Reviews the 3/29/2017 NXT

[Big Red Machine]

DASH WILDER (w/Scott Dawson) vs. TOMMASO CIAMPA (w/Johnny Gargano) vs. Akam (w/Paul Ellering & Rezar)- 4.75/10
The Revival realized there was nothing on the line in this match so they just went to the back early on in order to save themselves for Takeover. I was quite disappointed by this because, from the way the first few minutes went, I thought this was shaping up to be a very interesting Triple Threat match. We got Akam and Gargano doing the big monster vs. underdog babyface thing for a bit, then The Revival came back out and Dash stole the pin.

HEAVY MACHINERY vs. TUCKER KNIGHT & ANOTHER JOBBER- no rating, good squash.
This probably went a while longer than it needed to, but they were trying to kill time on this show and big dudes killing small dudes is usually a fun way to do that.

WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH CONTRACT SIGNING- the audio was low so I couldn’t hear them well, but from what I could hear, the heat here all feels forced.

ROODE VS. NAKAMURA VIDEO PACKAGE- I’ve seen so many of these at this point that I don’t care.

PAUL ELLERING (THE AUTHORS OF PAIN) PROMO- “welcome to our Yellow Brick Road… FROM HELL!”

SAnitY will take on the babyfaces they’ve been feuding with plus Heidi Lovelace at Takeover. They managed to give Heidi a name that is even stupider than “Heidi Lovelace.”

LOSER LEAVES NXT: Kassius Ohno vs. “The Drifter” Elias Sampson- 5.5/10
HOORAY! NO MORE DRIFTER! Elias Sampson, you go f*ck right off and never return! Also, Chris Hero broke the guitar. I’d normally criticize this for being unnecessary and dickish, but this is The Drifter, so I’m okay with it. That idiot Drifter ought to consider himself lucky that he Ohno didn’t sodomize him with that guitar, because that’s what he deserves for being so damn annoying.

A meh go-home show from NXT, but at least the f*cking Drifter is gone forever!

[KILLdozer]

I nominate Kassius Ohno for the worst wrestling attire. He looks like a basketball player!

[cero2k]

I nominate Kassius Ohno for the worst wrestling attire. He looks like a basketball player!

basketball player is not bad. Skintight basketball player is

[KILLdozer]

I nominate Kassius Ohno for the worst wrestling attire. He looks like a basketball player!

basketball player is not bad. Skintight basketball player is

I get that it's because of his appearance I guess, like extra weight...I've said it in another topic because it's becoming a pet peeve of mine, but it's seriously like he plays for the Olympics basketball team . They couldn't have gotten together just a regular tank shirt or something?

[Big Red Machine]

I get what Dozer is saying. He's this "knockout artist" but then he goes and dresses like the basketball player version of the goon. The gear screams "gimmick A" but then his in-ring style and promos and stuff say "gimmick B."

[KILLdozer]

Yeah it's kind of strange.

I just really understand what Vince/H and Ohno , as well as the designer were thinking when this whole thing came into fruition.

[KILLdozer]

Someone on the FB page said he​ looked like someone from space jam.

Possibly one of the best yet lol.