BRM Reviews the 5/18/2015 Raw (FIGHT OWENS FIGHT!)

[Big Red Machine]

Attention person in the second row with the big “I can, I will” sign: If you want to support Roman Reigns, that’s perfectly fine, but I think we call agree that it is the duty of wrestling fans everywhere to band together to fight against idiotic catchphrases, so please refrain from bringing any more “I can, I will” signs.
And the person with the “Rowan 3:16” sign: You know it’s not 1998 anymore, right?

OPENING SEGMENT- good Authority stuff. Steph was tremendous.
Once they got into the IC Title stuff it went downhill a bit, but it was still fine. It led to the announcement that Ryback and Sheamus would both be in the IC Title Elimination Chamber match, and also that we would see…

RYBACK vs. SHEAMUS- 5.25/10
Decent heel finish.

THE AUTHORITY BACKSTAGE- bad.
Kane will be in charge of tonight’s Seth Rollins Appreciation Night. This disappointed me as the Steph being in charge seems like it would greatly raise the chances of a rendition of “Wind Beneath Our Ring.
Oh look. Rollins is being a dick to Kane after Kane helps him. AGAIN. Did they not learn their lesson with Orton that so many false starts on a babyface turn will kill it dead?

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS NEVILLE- as Renee noted, Neville has been the main roster for two months now… only now is Renee finally getting around to asking him questions about it. Neville’s initial promo here was pretty great.
I did mark out a bit for Bo coming out to confront Neville. Also, his Bo-tee is gone. He also jumped Neville and injured his knee, just in time for…

WADE BARRETT vs. NEVILLE- 5.5/10
They told a good story based off of Neville’s injured knee, but as a necessity of that story, the action wasn’t particularly great.
I laughed my ass off when Bo referred to Booker as “Mr. T.” I know it sounds lame, but it was all in the delivery.
After the match, Bo assaulted Neville’s knee again.

RUSEV & LANA SEGMENT- Objectively, it was good, but I still think this whole thing is a HUGE mistake.
it’s funny how her accent seems to disappear whenever she’s saying babyface things. Also, she seems to forget that she wasn’t with Rusev from the very beginning. She had to court him as a client.

DEAN AMBROSE vs. BRAY WYATT- 7/10

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH WITH XAVIER WOODS BARRED FROM RINGSIDE: The New Day(c) vs. Upper-Cats (w/Natalya)- no raintg effective segment.
Well... now we know who will be in the Elimination Chamber.

JOHN CENA & KEVIN F*CKING STEEN SEGMENT- awesome. Duh. You didn't need me to tell you this. The only problem I can see is that, after this, there is no way that they can't move Owens up to the main roster, but they don't seem to be ready to do that yet.

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. STARDUST- 0.5/10
Well… that was pointlessly quick.

DOLPH ZIGGLER PROMO- awesome

ZIGGLER, LANA, & RUSEV STUFF- sh*t!
Lana comes out to make out with Dolph in order to make Rusev jealous, just like a teenage girl. All of this, of course, is the very first time their legit relationship has ever even been hinted at on the air.
Then Rusev easily dispatches Dolph Ziggler, who just cut this awesome promo about how he was going to win the IC Title, making Dolph look like a chump.
Rusev yells at Lana, so Lana slaps him. To recap: Lana does something to get Rusev angry at her, but then when Rusev actually does get angry at her, she hits him? What the hell?
Then Dolph lays Rusev out so that no one gets over.

KANE BACKSTAGE- he yells at some people, then walks by Rose and Rosa making out and gets a disgusted look on his face. Maybe he knows something we don’t, like that Rosa will be wrestling tonight, and that is the reason for the sickened look.

LUKE HARPER & ERICK ROWAN vs. FANDNAGO & ZACK RYDER- squash
Job Squad 2015.

STEPH & THE BELLAS BACKSTAGE- a reminder of just how much Steph outclasses these two with her promo skills.

NAOMI PROMO- a great promo killed by pointless evil laughter at the end.

WWE DIVAS TITLE MATCH: Nikki Bella(c) vs. Naomi (w/Tamina)- 2/10
Good aftermath with Paige’s return, and good heel antics by Naomi throughout.

OH F*CK! CENA VS. OWENS ONE-ON-ONE AT ELMINATION CHAMBER!!!!!!
PLEASE don’t f*ck this up, WWE!

SETH ROLLINS, ARCHITECT OF A DREAM- not good. How did those cinderblocks get there? Also, how was there no mention of the angle with Edge and Christian that brought back the Authority? And why did Kane and Hunter not help try to beat up Ambrose?

With just two weeks between PPVs, WWE did a good job of setting up for the Elimination Chamber PPV, but in terms of in-ring stuff, this Raw was pretty weak.


STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Cole dumped on Rusev for airing his and Lana’s dirty laundry in public… but it was Lana who came out and made it public! If she had just waited in the back, nothing would have become public.