BRM Reviews WWF Summer Slam 1995
Posted: Jul 2nd, '15, 21:32
WWF Summer Slam 1995 (8/27/1995)- Pittsburgh, PA
OPENING VIDEO- wow. Just… wow. Shawn and Bret were the only two who didn’t sound utterly ridiculous. I did enjoy hearing the voice-over guy saying that Isaac Yank’em was going to “extract revenge” on Bret Hart.
1-2-3 KID vs. HAKUSHI- 6.5/10
Vince starts this off by telling us that both men have equal martial arts skills, but Lawler immediately jumps in to correct him, assuring us that the Hakushi’s martial arts skills “far surpass” those of the 1-2-3 Kid, and that Hakushi will easily “embarrass” Kid tonight. He also claimed that the fans in Pittsburgh would be unable to chant for the 1-2-3 Kidd because they didn’t know which number comes after two. Lawler is such an awesome heel.
They put on a great opener with lots of high-flying stuff. Also a bronco buster by Hakushi.
DOC HENDRIX INTERVIEWS KING MABEL- Mabel’s delivery was pretty good, but the whole thing was ruined by Doc being so hyper and the fact that Mabel’s crown, while well-decorated, is still thin enough that it looks like a Burger King crown.
HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY vs. BOB “SPARK PLUG” HOLLY- 4.75/10
Fun babyface vs. heel stuff.
Lawler said that Helmsley’s idea of a fast food restaurant would be somewhere that served “Kentucky Fried Quail.” They weren’t all winners tonight. Much better was Vince’s comment that Helmsley’s snobby nose was stuck so far up in the air that he might drown in the rain.
RECAP OF THE CHARITY TUG OF WAR BETWEEN SOME WWF SUPERSTARS AND THE PITTSBURGH FIRE DEPARTMENT- Not only was the WWF supporting a worthy cause, but they didn’t do the job, either.
THE SMOKIN’ GUNNS vs. THE BLU BROTHERS (Uncle Zebekiah)- 3.75/10
I’m not sure which I found funnier: Lawler expressing his disdain for people like the Smokin’ Gunns who “dress up in silly costumes,” or Vince’s attempts to counter this by insisting that the Gunns were legitimate cowboys.
BARRY HORROWITZ vs. SKIP (w/Sunny)- 4.5/10
I might be in the minority on this, but thought the Bodydonnas was a F*CKING AWESOME gimmick, and that they played it to complete and total perfection. The best part of this might well be Vince McMahon making sure that we all knew that Skip’s opponent was named “Barry Horrowitz” and not “Barry Horrible-witz” as Sunny called him in the promo. Thanks for clarifying that, Vince.
This whole feud was just a lot of fun. The match was fine until the finish, which saw Hakushi come out and distract Skip, allowing Horrowitz to roll him up with my favorite name for a finisher ever: THE WINNING MOVE!
DEAN DOUGLAS PROMO ABOUT THE FINISH OF THE SKIP-HORROWITZ MATCH- lame, but also fun. The funniest part, though, was that Shane’s glasses made him look like he was Shane Douglas trying to impersonate Joey Styles.
SHAWN MICHAELS PROMO- great, but I had also completely forgotten quite how outrageously Shawn dressed during this period of time.
WWF WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Alundra Blayze(c) vs. Bertha Faye (w/Harvey Whippleman)- 3.75/10
Wow. Alundra Blayze had a really cool pyro during her entrance, and it was probably even cooler in the mid 90’s. Her ring gear was TERRRIBLE though, which makes it quite frankly astounding that Vince had the temerity to criticize Bertha’s ring gear.
They had a short big-woman vs. little-woman match and Bertha won the title.
UNDERTAKER PROMO- started off great, but then it went on WAY too long and started to become WAY too cartoony.
CASKET MATCH: The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Kama (w/Ted Dibiase)- 1/10
The video package for this match was so hilariously corny and yet so entirely serious that it must be seen to be believed. Every time someone got knocked into the casket, they would cut to a terrible camera view from inside the casket, which Lawler dubbed the “Coffin Cam.” Of course, when someone was actually in there on his back, we were looking at a mostly black screen.
They had a slow, boring match until they both tumbled in and the lid closed, which I would think would make the match a draw, but apparently not. They used this as a nearfall, then fought a bit more before coming to a finish.
BRET HART PROMO- okay. The best part of it was that when Bret started trash-talking Lawler, Lawler, on commentary, shouted “HEY! I can hear you!”
BRET HART vs. ISAAC YANKEM- 5/10
Yankem looks like Kevin Nash and Sid Vicious had a baby. He also has bad teeth, which Vince suggested meant that he wasn’t a good dentist. Lawler turned it around and said that this was the sacrifice that he made to show his patients what might happen to them if they didn’t brush and floss after every meal. AWESOME!
My partially towards Kane is no secret (it’s right there in the name), so in watching this and cheering for him, I might well have made history by being the person to chant “IS-AAC YANK-EM!” *clap!* *clap!* *clap!*clap!*clap!* Maybe Lawler was too, quietly, just based on his enthusiasm for all of the terrible things Isaac was about to do to Bret. I got a bit carried away and immediately popped when proto-Kane started off the match by goozling Bret, but then got sad when I realized that there would be no chokeslam coming.
The match was okay, but the ref totally lost control of it, including letting Bret tie Yankem up with a cable with No DQ, and also not calling for a DQ when Lawler put his hands on Bret multiple times. We finally got a DQ at the WAY too long mark of 16:07. The heels then hung Bret’s neck up in the ropes and tried to hang him
RAZOR RAMON PROMO- okay
LADDER MATCH FOR THE WWF INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE: Shawn Michaels(c) vs. Razor Ramon- 9/10
Vince said that the title was so high up in the air that “you’d have to be Andre the Giant and have a jet pack on your back to be able to reach that.” BEST. VISUAL. EVER.
We cut to Sid backstage, watching the match on the smallest TV ever.
They did a great job telling their story (Razor worked on Shawn’s leg) and did a few spots that I’ve never seen before in a ladder match and yet seem to make so much sense (in particular, Shawn diving for the belt, not reaching it, and falling to the mat). This is one of those matches that wrestlers having a ladder match should be required to watch before putting their match together. This match is sheer elegance in its simplicity.
DEAN DOUGLAS PROMO ON THE WORD “BAD”- lame, but fun. I didn’t like the ending, though. I’d have rather it ended with Douglas actually hitting Razor from behind and laying him out.
DIESEL PROMO- good.
WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Diesel(c) vs. King Mabel (w/Sir Mo)- 6.25/10
They tried to do a big-man match, except that neither of the big men was particularly talented. Maybe Nash could have pulled it off with someone else, but certainly not with freakin’ Mabel.
Not a good show from the WWF. Some of the undercard is fun and the ladder match is awesome, but the rest of the show is either bad or disappointing (or both).
OPENING VIDEO- wow. Just… wow. Shawn and Bret were the only two who didn’t sound utterly ridiculous. I did enjoy hearing the voice-over guy saying that Isaac Yank’em was going to “extract revenge” on Bret Hart.
1-2-3 KID vs. HAKUSHI- 6.5/10
Vince starts this off by telling us that both men have equal martial arts skills, but Lawler immediately jumps in to correct him, assuring us that the Hakushi’s martial arts skills “far surpass” those of the 1-2-3 Kid, and that Hakushi will easily “embarrass” Kid tonight. He also claimed that the fans in Pittsburgh would be unable to chant for the 1-2-3 Kidd because they didn’t know which number comes after two. Lawler is such an awesome heel.
They put on a great opener with lots of high-flying stuff. Also a bronco buster by Hakushi.
DOC HENDRIX INTERVIEWS KING MABEL- Mabel’s delivery was pretty good, but the whole thing was ruined by Doc being so hyper and the fact that Mabel’s crown, while well-decorated, is still thin enough that it looks like a Burger King crown.
HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY vs. BOB “SPARK PLUG” HOLLY- 4.75/10
Fun babyface vs. heel stuff.
Lawler said that Helmsley’s idea of a fast food restaurant would be somewhere that served “Kentucky Fried Quail.” They weren’t all winners tonight. Much better was Vince’s comment that Helmsley’s snobby nose was stuck so far up in the air that he might drown in the rain.
RECAP OF THE CHARITY TUG OF WAR BETWEEN SOME WWF SUPERSTARS AND THE PITTSBURGH FIRE DEPARTMENT- Not only was the WWF supporting a worthy cause, but they didn’t do the job, either.
THE SMOKIN’ GUNNS vs. THE BLU BROTHERS (Uncle Zebekiah)- 3.75/10
I’m not sure which I found funnier: Lawler expressing his disdain for people like the Smokin’ Gunns who “dress up in silly costumes,” or Vince’s attempts to counter this by insisting that the Gunns were legitimate cowboys.
BARRY HORROWITZ vs. SKIP (w/Sunny)- 4.5/10
I might be in the minority on this, but thought the Bodydonnas was a F*CKING AWESOME gimmick, and that they played it to complete and total perfection. The best part of this might well be Vince McMahon making sure that we all knew that Skip’s opponent was named “Barry Horrowitz” and not “Barry Horrible-witz” as Sunny called him in the promo. Thanks for clarifying that, Vince.
This whole feud was just a lot of fun. The match was fine until the finish, which saw Hakushi come out and distract Skip, allowing Horrowitz to roll him up with my favorite name for a finisher ever: THE WINNING MOVE!
DEAN DOUGLAS PROMO ABOUT THE FINISH OF THE SKIP-HORROWITZ MATCH- lame, but also fun. The funniest part, though, was that Shane’s glasses made him look like he was Shane Douglas trying to impersonate Joey Styles.
SHAWN MICHAELS PROMO- great, but I had also completely forgotten quite how outrageously Shawn dressed during this period of time.
WWF WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Alundra Blayze(c) vs. Bertha Faye (w/Harvey Whippleman)- 3.75/10
Wow. Alundra Blayze had a really cool pyro during her entrance, and it was probably even cooler in the mid 90’s. Her ring gear was TERRRIBLE though, which makes it quite frankly astounding that Vince had the temerity to criticize Bertha’s ring gear.
They had a short big-woman vs. little-woman match and Bertha won the title.
UNDERTAKER PROMO- started off great, but then it went on WAY too long and started to become WAY too cartoony.
CASKET MATCH: The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Kama (w/Ted Dibiase)- 1/10
The video package for this match was so hilariously corny and yet so entirely serious that it must be seen to be believed. Every time someone got knocked into the casket, they would cut to a terrible camera view from inside the casket, which Lawler dubbed the “Coffin Cam.” Of course, when someone was actually in there on his back, we were looking at a mostly black screen.
They had a slow, boring match until they both tumbled in and the lid closed, which I would think would make the match a draw, but apparently not. They used this as a nearfall, then fought a bit more before coming to a finish.
BRET HART PROMO- okay. The best part of it was that when Bret started trash-talking Lawler, Lawler, on commentary, shouted “HEY! I can hear you!”
BRET HART vs. ISAAC YANKEM- 5/10
Yankem looks like Kevin Nash and Sid Vicious had a baby. He also has bad teeth, which Vince suggested meant that he wasn’t a good dentist. Lawler turned it around and said that this was the sacrifice that he made to show his patients what might happen to them if they didn’t brush and floss after every meal. AWESOME!
My partially towards Kane is no secret (it’s right there in the name), so in watching this and cheering for him, I might well have made history by being the person to chant “IS-AAC YANK-EM!” *clap!* *clap!* *clap!*clap!*clap!* Maybe Lawler was too, quietly, just based on his enthusiasm for all of the terrible things Isaac was about to do to Bret. I got a bit carried away and immediately popped when proto-Kane started off the match by goozling Bret, but then got sad when I realized that there would be no chokeslam coming.
The match was okay, but the ref totally lost control of it, including letting Bret tie Yankem up with a cable with No DQ, and also not calling for a DQ when Lawler put his hands on Bret multiple times. We finally got a DQ at the WAY too long mark of 16:07. The heels then hung Bret’s neck up in the ropes and tried to hang him
RAZOR RAMON PROMO- okay
LADDER MATCH FOR THE WWF INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE: Shawn Michaels(c) vs. Razor Ramon- 9/10
Vince said that the title was so high up in the air that “you’d have to be Andre the Giant and have a jet pack on your back to be able to reach that.” BEST. VISUAL. EVER.
We cut to Sid backstage, watching the match on the smallest TV ever.
They did a great job telling their story (Razor worked on Shawn’s leg) and did a few spots that I’ve never seen before in a ladder match and yet seem to make so much sense (in particular, Shawn diving for the belt, not reaching it, and falling to the mat). This is one of those matches that wrestlers having a ladder match should be required to watch before putting their match together. This match is sheer elegance in its simplicity.
DEAN DOUGLAS PROMO ON THE WORD “BAD”- lame, but fun. I didn’t like the ending, though. I’d have rather it ended with Douglas actually hitting Razor from behind and laying him out.
DIESEL PROMO- good.
WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Diesel(c) vs. King Mabel (w/Sir Mo)- 6.25/10
They tried to do a big-man match, except that neither of the big men was particularly talented. Maybe Nash could have pulled it off with someone else, but certainly not with freakin’ Mabel.
Not a good show from the WWF. Some of the undercard is fun and the ladder match is awesome, but the rest of the show is either bad or disappointing (or both).