Bushwhackers (Brian Wickens & Robert Miller) beat Iron Sheik (Hossein Khosrow Vaziri) & Nikolai Volkoff (Josip Peruzovic) in 8:42. The Bushwhackers are both in their mid-50s while Sheik is 61 and Volkoff is 52. Sheik could barely walk. The heels came out with a manager called Nikita Breshnikoff, who is actually Volkoff’s real-life roommate. Sheik twirled clubs that looked like they weighed about ten pounds each. This 140-pound guy brought the clubs to the ring. Sheik challenged Hulk Hogan and Bob Backlund. Snow vs. Bossman suddenly looked like Benoit vs. Otani. Volkoff hit Sheik with an object and Butch pinned him. Sheik & Volkoff teased a split after the match. -459.4 stars (absolute zero, this is the worst match I’ve ever rated in my life)