BRM Gives Up On the 6/3/2019 Raw (soiler alert: they f*cked us again)

Post Reply
User avatar
Big Red Machine
Posts: 23963
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12
Favorite Wrestler: Kane

BRM Gives Up On the 6/3/2019 Raw (soiler alert: they f*cked us again)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jun 4th, '19, 14:21

OPENING SEGMENT- There was none. I just made an assumption this would be a talking segment because the show always starts with a talking segment, and there was no “the following six-man tag team match is scheduled for one-fall before Roman came out like there normally is for a match.
EDIT: It turns out there actually was an opening segment, and the rating it gets is ANNOYING! I’ll go into why when I get up to it, but I have decided to leave that opening bit in here because it will help my frustration that much more palatable.
Anyway, the show opens and Roman Reigns comes out. Corey Graves immediately sets me off by exclaiming that the “wildcard rule is in full effect!” I’ve ranted about how much I hate announcers saying phrases like this in an excited manner several times over the scant few weeks this rule has existed for, so tonight I have decided that I am instead going to do one of the things that I do actually find fulfillment in when watching bad wrestling, which is suggest a better way to accomplish the same goal.
Instead of having the announcers utter this horrendous phrase (which, by the way, is still inaccessible to new viewers because they have no idea what the wildcard rule is) in a forced and inappropriately excited tone of voice, why redesign the chyrons to you have room for both the wrestler’s name, and titles he or she may hold, and a note designating the wrestler as a “wildcard rule invitee from Smackdown Live” (or Raw, as need be). This way a new viewer will at least be given the indication that this wildcard rule means that the person in question had to be specially invited here tonight, and you save your announcers from sounding like idiots for getting excited about something there is no inherent reason to be excited about!
Yeah, I’m going to rant a little bit, too. Sorry, but every time I think about this and I realize how dumb it is I just can’t help myself. I was going to make a joke about how you’d never here a baseball announcer excitedly say “the infield fly rule is in full effect!” but then I realized that while he/she probably wouldn’t say it in an excited tone, at least the infield fly rule is something it makes sense for a baseball announcer to tell the audience is in effect because in addition to being one of baseball’s lesser-known rules, the infield fly rule only goes into effect in certain situations. WWE’s wildcard rule, on the other hand, has been constantly in effect since the moment it was created, so why are they telling us it is “in full effect” and getting exciting about it like it’s some sort of change to the status quo? It’s not a change to the status quo; it is the status quo!
And what is this “full effect” nonsense? As opposed to what? The rule being in half-effect and Roman has to leave the area by 9:30?
While Roman was making his entrance they pushed the angle that Brock has announced that he will cash in MITB tonight HARD. They even have Charly Caruso stationed in the parking lot to interview Brock right when he gets here... which means he isn’t here yet.

Anyway, it turns out that instead of talking, this week we’re actually getting a match to start off the show! And not just any match, either. We’re getting Roman & the Usos vs. Drew & The Revival! DUDE! That should be AWESOME!
So I’m all excited for this match... and then Shane McMahon’s music plays and Shane starts to talk. And talk. And talk. It’s not like this was a brad promo or anything. In fact, it was a very good “cowardly heel with false bravado talking about how easily he’ll beat the babyface up but we all know he’s full of sh*t” promo. But from the moment Shane opened his mouth, I just didn’t want to hear it. This wasn’t heel heat, this was “just shut up already so we can get to the match!”
Roman got the chance to respond and said that Shane can’t beat him up without help, and after he beats Shane up at Super Showdown, he’s going to beat up Shane’s help, Drew McIntyre, at Stomping Ground. Upon hearing Roman say this, I had three thoughts:
1. It’s kind of weird for Roman to cut a promo about how he is going to beat Drew up at Stomping Ground when he has a match against Drew coming up in mere moments.
2. If the whole idea is that the only way Shane can beat Roman is with help, then shouldn’t the story be Roman taking Shane’s help out before the PPV match, leaving Shane to face Roman alone at Super Showdown and get his comeuppance?
3. Last fall Roman Reigns and his Shield buddies were feuding with a heel trio involving Drew McIntyre. Then Roman left to get treatment for his cancer, and when he came back, he feuded with Drew McIntyre. That feud culminated in a singles match at WrestleMania. That was eight weeks ago, and since then we had a Superstar Shake-up that resulted in them wind up on different brands, AND ROMAN REIGNS IS STILL FEUDING WITH DREW MCINTYRE!
Drew comes out and he gets to cut a promo, too, but it turns out this promo is just a distraction so that The Revival can sneak out of the crowd and jump Roman from behind. The Usos run out to make the save and Roman goes to the apron, perfectly fine and not selling at all, making the whole attack pointless. I’m also pretty sure this is at least the 348th time Roman has been jumped from behind during this feud with Shane. DO SOMETHING NEW!
Not only was it repetitive and mostly pointless, but this segment just plain didn’t need to happen. Shane can cut his go-home promo later in the show, you can announce Roman vs. Drew coming out of the PPV where it might feel like it has more effect because Drew has done something dastardly to Roman to necessitate it, and as I pointed out above, the angle didn’t accomplish anything. All this did was annoy me. Telling me I was going to get this match but then making me sit through a surprise talking segment first just made the talking seem to drone on for longer than it actually did.
Anyway, after all of that bullsh*t, we finally got...

ROMAN REIGNS & THE USOS vs. THE REVIVAL & DREW MCINTYRE (w/Shane McMahon)- 5.75/10
The match starts and we get one superkick. Dawson pulls Dash to the outside. The Usos dive onto them... AND WE GO TO A F*CKING COMMERCIAL! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?! I just want to see some f*cking wrestling! Is that really too much to ask?!
We got some “WE WANT ROMAN!” chants during the heat, but they died down rather quickly when it was clear that they weren’t going to get Roman at that moment (this actually happened several times, with the chants being weaker each time)... which means the fans have failed to understand the psychology of the heat. You’re not supposed to be quiet when you don’t the hot tag; you’re supposed to be cheering for Jimmy to give him the moral support he needs to tough out the pain and fight back so that he can make the hot tag to Roman! This was SOOOO weird. There was a point where heels got a nearfall on Jimmy and was silent for the kick-out. It was like they didn’t care about the match at all and just cared about seeing Roman.
After a mere five minutes, we went to another commercial... and when we came back, we had missed the hot tag. I’m actually fine with that. I think you have to do something like this every once in a while to make things feel a bit less scripted (also along these lines, DON’T HAVE SOMEONE DO A DIVE BEFORE EVERY F*CKING COMMERCIAL!). I’d even advocate doing a finish during a commercial about once a year, and have the announcers tell us what happened and pitch to a replay when you get back. Do it on a minor situation and with undercard talent, but do it anyway. Also, hopefully this will prevent commercial time from being a time when fans in the arena tune out as well when they know you’ve gone to a commercial, which they do, in fact, know, because (at least as of when I went to Smackdown in October) THEY TURN TITAN-TRON OFF. It kills the live experience because you know there won’t be a pinfall.
Shane shoved Jey Uso off the top rope while the referee was distracted. Roman went after Shane but got laid out with a Claymore. Jimmy got hit with a Shatter Machine on the outside and Drew hit Jey with a Claymore for the win, just over ninety seconds after we returned from the second commercial break. I’m REALLY F*CKING PISSED right now. First they tell me I’m going to get this match that looks awesome on paper. Then they make me sit through a bunch of talking to get to it... and then the large majority of the match takes place during commercials!

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Roman gets beaten up by the heels, ending in the others holding him up so Shane can hit him with a spear (the wrestling move, not the weapon). Roman’s best buddy Seth Rollins didn’t come out to make the save for him because... um...
Like with Shane’s earlier promo, this was good on paper, but the way they handled the match had put me in such a foul mood that I didn’t care.

FIREFLY FUNHOUSE PLUG- Michael Cole plugged the “the next edition of the creepy Firefly Funhouse” in a tone of voice that completely killed the idea of it being creepy.
While I think that Bray and the production staff have done an excellent job of crafting and executing the Firefly Funhouse segments and they certainly are creepy (that clown mask is some high-octane nightmare fuel), I think WWE has really dropped the ball on it with their presentation of the Firefly Funhouse within the context of their universe.
The Firefly Funhouse is clearly something very different from everything else in WWE, but within the context of their TV shows, WWE doesn’t actually treat it as such. It’s presented as, essentially “the part of the show that features Bray Wyatt, just like the Miz TV segment with Seth Rollins they plugged as being up next is “the part of the show that features The Miz and Seth Rollins,” or whatever match Ricochet is in will be treated as “the part of the show that features Ricochet.” Sure, it has graphics and a setting that set it apart as being slightly removed from everything else, but so did the Fashion Files. And so could New Day’s promos if WWE decided to show a graphic of a blessing of unicorns running across the screen before pitching to every backstage New Day promo. The non-connected location also helps, but that, too, can be easily recreated with anyone else if WWE decided they wanted to give someone their own special promo “set.”
The thing that makes the Firefly Funhouse unique within WWE is that it is being produced completely out of house, and for mysterious reasons which are (especially when we consider the source) quite likely nefarious. Michael Cole shouldn’t be advertising it to us as “creepy” like being scary and discomforting is part of the appeal of the Firefly Funhouse segments. Michael Cole should be scared and discomforted by it. The babyface announcer is supposed to be a viewpoint character for the audience, not a carnival barker telling us about how creepy we will find their haunted house.

MIZ TV WITH SPECIAL GUEST SETH ROLLINS- boring
Seth cut a decent promo sating he wants Brock to cash in tonight so that he can devote all pf his attention to defending his title against Corbin at Super Showdown. Brock and Heyman arrive at the building at this very convenient moment. I guess Charly Carsuo was in the bathroom because she was nowhere to be found. They teased that they would cash in right now but Brock stopped and headed in a different direction, away from where Cole told us Gorilla was. The announcers told us that Brock was “getting into Seth Rollins’ head” by making him wait. Personally, I think Brock was perplexed by seeing an actual label on one of those big black equipment cases, and even more perplexed that said labelled denoted this as the box for “Neil’s rack.” Then Seth’s music because I guess someone determined that the segment was now over.

LUCHA HOUSE PARTY vs. ?- no rating, passable segment
Lucha House Party come out, ostensibly for a match. Instead of whoever their scheduled opponents were, Lars Sullivan came out (wildcard rule wrestler #2). He got the best of them for a bit until they worked together to fend him off, although Lars never left his feet the whole time. Lars left, but despite Lucha House Party seeming totally fine, we just cut away to a...

WOMEN’S BACKSTAGE SEGMENT- a very mixed bag
Nikki Cross is standing there all sad. I would be sad too if I had to be in the same room as the IIconcis and didn’t have any earplugs. They made fun of both Nikki and Becky, with Nikki just standing there and doing nothing. Alexa Bliss! showed up and asked them “don’t you two have a bloomin’ onion to be eating somewhere or something?” Is there a sexual reference I’m missing or was that just an utterly horrendous line that should have resulted in the person who wrote it being flogged? I checked Urban Dictionary, and the #2 definition would make total sense here as an insult.
Peyton denied Alexa’s assertion, then said that she had to go prepare for her match against Nikki later tonight. The IIconics hit their pose, and then exited the segment in what can only be described as- and I know this sounds weird- an emu-like fashion.
Once they were gone, Alexa asked Nikki if she wanted to go get coffee, which is apparently Alexa’s new gimmick. They even have a terrible shirt for it. It’s vaguely reminiscent of the Starbucks logo, but instead of a weird mermaid thing, it has Alexa’s hand (we know it’s Alexa’s hand due to her weird exoskeleton gimmick) holding a cup of coffee and is blue instead of green. In the outer circle it says “Twisted Bliss Coffee” in the top half and “No coffee, no Bliss” on the bottom half.” Do they really think people are going to buy this?
This part of the segment actually got good, with Alexa lamenting that it’s probably best if Nikki doesn’t hang out with her because no one likes her and Nikki should probably go hang out with her new pal Becky Lynch instead. Nikki tells Alexa she was the first one to be nice to her on the main roster, after months of people not noticing her, and thus they are friends. Alexa kind of forces her way into Nikki’s corner for her match tonight. This is either leading to Alexa vs. Becky with Alexa trying to manipulate Nikki, or it’s leading to an Alexa Bliss! face turn. I prefer the second.

BECKY LYNCH, LACEY EVANS, & CHARLOTTE FLAIR SEGMENT- bad
Becky Lynch came out and cut what would have been an awesome promo for her to cut the day after MITB, but the fiery babyface promo vowing to wreak vengeance upon the one who has wronged you doesn’t work quite as well when you’ve ben farting around with the IIconics for two weeks between the crime and your declaration of intent to pursue vengeance.
Lacey Evans came out and cut a promo on Becky. Becky interrupted her by making fun of her antebellum southern accent and dared Lacey to get in the ring so Becky could rip her arm out. Lacey just brushed the insult off and kept going on with her promo and got right into the ring... and Becky Lynch proceeded to just stand there and do nothing while Lacey finished her promo.
Charlotte Flair (wildcard #3) came out in response to Lacey’s comments to continue their ill-advised feud. Why are these two heels feuding? Are there even any other heels on TV for the babyfaces to fight if these two are feuding with each other? Alexa is either turning a babyface or at least playing babyface for a while in support of some long-term evil plan, the IIconics are jobber goof losers with belts of their own, Nia Jax is injured, they turned Tamina babyface last week, Mickie James is now injured, the Riott Squad hasn’t been on TV for months... whose left? Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville on Smackdown, and on Raw we have... Alicia Fox?
Anyway, Charlotte comes out and Michael Cole lets us know that “the wildcard rule is in effect.” Corey Graves’ comment upon seeing Charlotte is listed below as Stupid Announcer Quote #1. I will admit to laughing at Renee’s comment about Charlotte showing Lacey the “Woman’s Right... Foot” on Smackdown. Barbs were exchanged, with Becky Lynch completely fading into the background. Lacey shoved Charlotte, and a referee came out, so apparently a match has been booked for right now.

CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. LACEY EVANS- 1.25/10
They had a sloppy match for a bit until they did a double-down spot, at which point Becky Lynch, who had been watching from ringside, ran in completely unprovoked and attacked both exhausted and weakened competitors, like a complete and total heel. Becky did a pumphandle Rock Bottom, which Michael Cole called the “Manhandle Slam.” That is an utterly terrible name.

At this point (well over an hour in) I’m at a point where I just want the show to end, and I think large part of that is the lack of anything exciting being advertised. All we know about right now is:
1. A throw-away match between Nikki Cross and a loser
2. Rey Mysterio will show up to tell us that he’s vacating a title
3. Undertaker showing up to cut a promo for a random match that no one could possibly care about.
4. A face to face between Orton and Hunter to build up a match that no one could possibly care about.
5. An arm-wrestling match
6. Brock Lesnar will cash in on Seth Rollins at some point tonight... which I don’t even believe because of the way they’ve jerked us around with this for the past two weeks. I don’t care that Steph scolded him over it. How are the McMahons going to punish Brock is he doesn’t do it? Fire him? Not with that MITB contract outstanding. Fine him? So what? Seeing Brock Lesnar pay the McMahons money doesn’t do it for me, and as we saw last time Brock was fined, he doesn’t seem to give a sh*t.
Also, we know they are going this as a ratings ploy so we know that it will happen in the main event segment, and thus any time Brock is on screen before that is a waste of time.
So what, exactly, am I supposed to be excited about between now and then?

REY MYSTERIO RELINQUISHES THE WWE UNITED STATES TITLE- didn’t like it
Joe interrupts Rey and is a jerk, but Rey surprisingly is about to do what Joe wants and relinquish the title to Joe, but Joe attacks Rey anyway. This was weird. In situations like this, the title is usually held up rather than going back to the previous champion (both Rey and the announcers are portraying Rey relinquishing the title being due to injury, not due to the egregious refereeing error).
Even worse, Joe’s attack on Rey afterwards felt completely forced and out of character. Samoa Joe has come across as someone who is a relatively honorable man until he thinks he is being wronged. He’s a heel in part because he seems to have quite the expansive definition of what qualifies as wronging him, but in a situation like this, where Joe the bully has been granted exactly what he wanted, he doesn’t seem like the type to then attack the person just because. It feels like the only reason Joe attacked Rey here was because someone in the Creative meeting said “don’t we need to do something in this segment to get Joe heat?” and so a cowardly attack was added, regardless of whether or not it feels in-character.
(Yes, Joe could later explain the reason for his attack being Rey only acknowledging the injury and not the unjust pinfall, but if that’s the case then why was Rey giving the title back to Joe as opposed to it being vacated?)

BROCK IS BACKSTAGE, PUTTING ON HIS GLOVES- Corry Graves insists that Brock is “moments away” from cashing in MITB, even though we’ve got an arm wrestling contest scheduled for next.

CESARO PROMO- good
He’s got a rematch with Ricochet tonight and vows that Ricochet won’t win.

RICOCHET PROMO- very bad
This was clearly written by someone trying his/her best to sound cool and monumental but whose only experience to attempts at such framing has been listening to WWE announcers. It was so scripted and so overboard.

ARM WRESTLING MATCH: Braun Strowman vs. Bobby Lashley- no rating, fine angle
Braun won the arm wrestling match, then Lashley threw the chalk in his eyes and hit him with his own finisher. This was quicker than I was expecting it to be (I was terrified it would be full of stalling) and was a fine angle on paper, but the build to this match has been so poor that I just don’t care about it, and this doesn’t do much to help, especially with Braun being back on his feet so quickly afterward.

RECAP OF R-TRUTH LOSING THE 24/7 TITLE TO JINDER MAHAL ON A GOLF COURSE, THEN IMMEDIATELY WINNING IT BACK- bad
1. Why was Carmella so angry at Jinder for doing this? That’s how the title works!
2. If Truth always gains the belt back right after losing it then where is the fun in this?
3. This wasn’t magic WWE “it’s part of the show, just pretend they’re not there” camera-work. This was on YouTube, which means someone was filming it. Who was filming it, and why was he/she filming Truth and Carmella golfing?

We’ve had this title for a few weeks now, and while this is a matter of personal taste, I really think that WWE is failing to understand where the humor in this title comes from. It’s not “This title changed hands in a funny place! HA!” or “LOL all the jobbers are chasing this other jobber around.” The humor comes from the set-up, not the title change itself.
For example, what we got here was Truth golfing, then Jinder and a referee run up behind him and Jinder rolls him up to win the title, then Truth rolls Jinder up and knocks him out, and Truth and Carmella escape in the golf cart.
What I want to see is more like this:
Jinder is out golfing. He’s got Sunil as his caddy and Samir filming him so he can show everyone how great at golf he is, because he’s an arrogant heel. He hits the ball way off course because he’s a bumbling heel and we’re supposed to laugh at him. He sends Sunil to get the ball, while he rants to the camera about how his bad shot was all Sunil’s fault for distracting him or giving him the wrong club or whatever. Just something clearly false.
Sunil soon returns and excitedly tells Jinder that just on the other side of those trees that Jinder hit the ball into (“I ONLY DID THAT BECAUSE YOU DISTRACTED ME!”), are R-Truth, and Carmella... and the referee who is taking his shift following the 24/7 Champion around. Now Jinder is all excited and he orders Samir to keep filming what will surely be a great victory for him, and they all start to tip-toe through the trees to try to sneak up on Truth. Once they break the tree cover Jinder breaks into a dead sprint and runs up behind Truth and school boys him, and referee (who had been practicing his swing or being Truth’s caddy or whatever) springs into action and counts the pinfall, then hands the belt to Jinder. Jinder and the Singhs run off, with the referee right behind them, and Truth a few steps behind the referee, having realized what has just happened. They run back through the trees and Jinder runs towards his golf cart but trips over the golf club that he himself had dropped, allowing Truth to catch up to him and dive on top for a pin, with Sunil coming in just a moment too late to break it up so now Sunil has landed on Jinder. Then Carmella shows up in a golf cart and Truth, Carmella and the referee all drive away.
Now that’s f*cking funny. And it also:
1. Explains why there is a camera here and uses that premise to add an additional comedic element.
2. Gives us a better reason for why there is a referee there than the challenger dragging one around with him wherever he goes (does every single wrestler get a referee assigned to him/her just in case they bump into the 24/7 Champion? It makes much more sense to have one assigned to follow the champion around) which is rife with its own comedic potential (imagine the referee who doesn’t like hiking but has to go along just in case some other wrestler should bump into the 24/7 Champion in the middle of the woods).
3. Establishes that the champion and challenger being in the same place at the same time is an actual coincidence, which makes it feel less staged at the beginning and thus allows there to be humor in the ridiculousness of the coincidence... and, as time goes on, of the recurring nature of these coincidences. Imagine a champion driven so paranoid by these coincidences that he rents a cabin half way up some isolated mountain to go to for vacation... and as he’s headed up the mountain he bumps into JBL and his film crew completing one of their charity expeditions, Clothesline From Hell, new champion.
And then, a few hours later we get a live-streamed video of JBL and his crew at the local watering hole and they’ve all been drinking copiously (that’s why they decided to live-stream this) and then JBL passes out and who should wander into the bar but Kim Chee, who sneaks over pins Bradshaw and he and the referee walk out the door. And then you can show the previous champion walking in just moments later, seeing JBL and running over to pin him but then noticing that there is no referee to make the count and realizing what must have happened.
Because the humor isn’t in the concept of a title being defended 24/7; it’s in the set-up of the individual segments. And this fact is perfectly illustrated by perhaps the most famous Hardcore Title 24/7 change in history. Crash Holly falling asleep and then getting pinned is meh at best. Crash Holly having to be alert at all times because of the 24/7 rule and thus hasn’t slept in days so he hires the APA to guard him while he takes a one-hour nap is funny. Him then oversleeping so they leave when the time he hired them for is up and Gerald Brisco comes along and pins him... but first he has to figure out how to pin the guy without waking him up is f*cking hilarious!

CARMELLA IS BACKSTAGE LOOKING FOR R-TRUTH- Carmella is wildcard rule invitee #4. The important part here is that Drake Maverick, EC III, and a referee are trailing her, thinking she’ll lead them to R-Truth. I can’t tell if Ethan is actually being Maverick’s lackey, if he is planning to betray him once Truth has been taken out, or if he’s just following him around because it seems like something funny might happen.

PEYTON ROYCE (w/Billie Kay) vs. NIKKI CROSS (w/Alexa Bliss!)- 4/10
The work was fine but the finish was... what I should have expected, but somehow didn’t.
First Alexa had coffee brought out to her. This distracted Peyton Royce for some reason. Alexa flicked coffee at Peyton so Peyton kicked the cup out of Alexa’s hand. Alexa took a swipe at Peyton but Payton avoided it. Billie Kay pushed Alexa (who was wearing white pants) into the big coffee spill. Nikki reversed Peyon’s attempt to hit her with a suplex and instead hit a rope-hung neckbreaker and got the win, so that’s yet another loss for the IIconics. Alexa was sad because her pants now had a stain on them. Then Alexa got angry and beat up Billie Kay. Again... because she got pushed and her pants got coffee on them. They were clearly trying to show something in Alexa, but I’m not sure exactly what it was supposed to be. Is it a signal that she’s still a heel, or that there is a crazy monster lurking inside her that could turn on Nikki at any moment or was it just a thing they decided to do to get over the coffee gimmick?

MORE OF BROCK BOUNCING AROUND BACKSTAGE- snore

SETH ROLLINS WALKS AROUND BACKSTAGE- they have pink equipment cases now, too.

SETH ROLLINS, BARON CORBIN, & (EVENTUALLY) BROCK LESNAR SEGMENT- bad
Seth comes out and starts to cut a promo. He is quickly interrupted by Brock’s music, but Brock doesn’t come out. Seth calls Brock a coward and demands that he come out right now. Instead we got Baron Corbin. Lame insults are exchanged until a fight starts. Rollins was winning until Brock’s music played again and again Brock didn’t come out, allowing Corbin to capitalize on Seth’s distraction.
I thought this segment was pretty clumsy. Corbin shouldn’t be starting a fight with Seth tonight. He should be offering to protect him so that Brock no longer has MITB when he beats Seth at Super Showdown.
Corbin disappeared, and Brock actually came out this time. He kicked Seth in the nuts, beat him up with a chair, and gave him an F-5 on the outside. If only Seth had a friend who had also vowed to stop Brock from taking the Universal Title and therefore the WWE hostage. Oh well. Too bad there is on one like that in the building tonight.
Heyman kept begging Brock to cash in but Brock just kept beating on Seth. This did not lead to Baron Corbin’s presence making Brock reconsider cashing in because he didn’t want Corbin to interfere, nor did it lead to anyone saving Seth. Brock eventually told Heyman that he wasn’t going to cash in tonight because he wanted to do so on Friday at the Saudi show. So basically Brock’s an idiot. If he were the f*cking world champion he could get booked on the Saudi show anyway, so why not just be the world champion now when you’ve already got the challenger down and his best buddy is obviously in the bathroom?
And yes. They f*cked us on this AGAIN. Just to rub that last part in, then had Brock come back with the briefcase, only to hit Seth with it and give him a few more chairshots, then leave. Seth did a stretcher-job, and we went to commercial.


You know what? F*ck it. I’m done with this show for this week. I don’t care that I’m missing Cesaro vs. Ricochet. I’m already annoyed as hell and I don’t want to sit through long talking segments with Orton, Hunter, and Taker for meaningless matches that I don’t give a flying f*ck about.

Another frustrating episode of Raw. And, for the record, Orton’s presence once again breaks the wildcard rule.


STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Corey Graves- “We saw flare this past Tuesday between Charlotte Flair and Lacey Evans, but who knew the queen would arrive on Monday Night Raw?”
EVERYBODY knew it, Corey! It wasn’t that f*cking hard to figure out! This sh*t is pretty patterned. I this particular case it makes sense so I’m not knocking it the way I would for Kofi and Lars in particular, who seem to show up to Raw all the time with no real plan in mind or reason for being there, but that doesn’t change the fact that it shouldn’t take a f*cking rocket scientist to guess that Charlotte would show up to Lacey’s show the week after having a fight with her.

2. Corey Graves said that Rollins’ downfall in his brawl with Corbin was “allowing paranoia to get the better of him.”
Paranoia? Brock’s music was playing! Yes, there is a “boy who cried wolf” aspect to this, but by Graves’ definition it would be paranoid to leave the building when the fire alarm is pulled just because the previous three times it has turned out to just be a drill.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
WWE in 2005
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

User avatar
cero2k
Site Admin
Posts: 18971
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 11:32
Favorite Wrestler: Eddie Guerrero
Location: El Paso, TX
Contact:

Re: BRM Gives Up On the 6/3/2019 Raw (soiler alert: they f*cked us again)

Post by cero2k » Jun 4th, '19, 15:35

Ratings we're 10% up. People do fall for that Lesnar and Taker shit

User avatar
cero2k
Site Admin
Posts: 18971
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 11:32
Favorite Wrestler: Eddie Guerrero
Location: El Paso, TX
Contact:

Re: BRM Gives Up On the 6/3/2019 Raw (soiler alert: they f*cked us again)

Post by cero2k » Jun 4th, '19, 18:26

@KILLdozer , i'm gonna need to experiment with you. When you watch RAW on hulu, could you count how much wrestling you get to see?

I'm reading complains online that this week's hulu cut had less than 10 minutes of actual in-ring wrestling.

User avatar
KILLdozer
Posts: 5724
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 22:54
Favorite Wrestler: Idk
Location: Ocean Springs,MS.

Re: BRM Gives Up On the 6/3/2019 Raw (soiler alert: they f*cked us again)

Post by KILLdozer » Jun 4th, '19, 18:38

cero2k wrote:
Jun 4th, '19, 18:26
@KILLdozer , i'm gonna need to experiment with you. When you watch RAW on hulu, could you count how much wrestling you get to see?

I'm reading complains online that this week's hulu cut had less than 10 minutes of actual in-ring wrestling.
It probably did. All I saw was the opener and Lacy and Charlotte lol.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

User avatar
Big Red Machine
Posts: 23963
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12
Favorite Wrestler: Kane

Re: BRM Gives Up On the 6/3/2019 Raw (soiler alert: they f*cked us again)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jun 4th, '19, 18:50

cero2k wrote:
Jun 4th, '19, 18:26
@KILLdozer , i'm gonna need to experiment with you. When you watch RAW on hulu, could you count how much wrestling you get to see?

I'm reading complains online that this week's hulu cut had less than 10 minutes of actual in-ring wrestling.
It probably didn't. There were only four matches on the show at all this week. According to CageMatch.net the match-times were:

Drew McIntyre & The Revival (Dash Wilder & Scott Dawson) (w/Shane McMahon) defeat Roman Reigns & The Usos (Jey Uso & Jimmy Uso) (14:35)
Charlotte Flair defeats Lacey Evans by DQ (10:20)
Nikki Cross (w/Alexa Bliss) defeats Peyton Royce (w/Billie Kay) (6:00)
Ricochet defeats Cesaro (9:10)

As I noted in my review, the majority of the six-man tag took place during a commercial, and I think I remember a commercial in Charlotte vs. Lacey, too. My guess is that the full show probably had less than half an hour of televised wrestling (I cna't imagine Cesaro and Ricochet didn't have a commercial in it, too). Take that and then cut it down for Hulu (I doubt they considered either of the two final matches important enough for the Hulu cut) and I can totally see it being less than ten minutes of wrestling.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
WWE in 2005
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

User avatar
Serujuunin
Posts: 2346
Joined: Dec 17th, '10, 19:56
Favorite Wrestler: Jeff Hardy
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Contact:

Re: BRM Gives Up On the 6/3/2019 Raw (soiler alert: they f*cked us again)

Post by Serujuunin » Jun 5th, '19, 18:24

So, I breezed through most of this, and I didn't even see Cesaro and Ricochet... Did I skip it accidentally, or did it even happen?

EDIT: I read the previous post and it turns out I did miss it. Oops. I will have to go and find it.

User avatar
KILLdozer
Posts: 5724
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 22:54
Favorite Wrestler: Idk
Location: Ocean Springs,MS.

Re: BRM Gives Up On the 6/3/2019 Raw (soiler alert: they f*cked us again)

Post by KILLdozer » Jun 7th, '19, 14:53

I gotta say...and I'm sure it has a lot to do with the lack of depth and progression of any storylines at all lately...but I'm getting very interested in what they're "telling", through the Firefly Funhouse vignettes. Huskus the pig...is obviously Bray Wyatt before he became
..."this."...I.E, Husky Harris....

I'm thinking this..."fiend" has a lot to do with everything since then. "Guiding the way"...and "letting HIM in..."

There's a lot of layers here that I think are supposed to be giving us years old answers if looked upon properly...

That is, if you PULL UP YOUR PANTS, AND DO THE MUSCLE MAN DANCE!
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests