BRM Reviews the 9/30/2022 Rampage (bad)
Posted: Oct 2nd, '22, 11:34
AEW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Acclaimed(c) (w/Billy Gunn) vs. Private Party vs. The Butcher & The Blade- 5.25/10
Only the Acclaimed got an entrance. During their entrance, Max Caster ran down the idea of Private Party reuniting with Matt Hardy, even though the Acclaimed are babyfaces and Private Party getting back together with Matt is the outcome we’re supposed to want to see in that storyline.
Speaking of Matt, he was shown watching backstage. Tony Schiavone told us that “it was a great relationship between Matt Hardy and Private Party.” Yes, that great relationship where the storyline was that he was taking advantage of them with unfair contracts. Idiot. Why do people like Tony Schiavone again?
They did moves until the Acclaimed won.
LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS THE FIRM- bad
The Gunns were goofballs. Stokely had to keep correcting them. They said that it’s FTR’s fault they haven’t gotten a title shot despite being #1 contenders for months because they haven’t said “we want a title shot.” That makes FTR look kind of sh*tty.
They say they only care about the AEW World Tag Team Titles, and that they will do what everyone else does and leapfrog FTR for a title shot. W. Morrissey was also there. He looked unhappy.
LEXI NAIR’S INTERVIEW WITH JADE CARGILL IS INTERRUPTED BY VICKIE GUERRERO, NYLA ROSE, &… SOMEONE ELSE- bad
Was the other person maybe Marina Shafir? Who knows in AEW. Anyway, Vickie pointed out that while Jade might have beaten Nyla the last time they wrestled, she didn’t actually pin her. I had no memory of this, so I looked it up on Cagematch.net. It happened OVER A YEAR AGO!
This is not “long-term storytelling.” If this were long-term storytelling, then that fact would have been brought up occasionally while reasons were created for why Nyla didn’t challenge Jade again. This is just having something theoretically important go completely ignored until you’re ready for it to be relevant again, except if something goes ignored for an entire year, then how important could it really be?
FUEGO DEL SOL vs. LEE MORIARTY (w/Stokely Hathaway & W. Morrissey)- squash
Moriarty left the hold in after the bell.Lance Archer Luchasaurus W. Morrisey attacked the jobber after the match to show us that he is mean.
LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS ADAM PAGE- SNORE!
Page mentions that he will win the AEW Title from Jon Moxley when he gets his shot.
Also standing with Page were the exact members of the Dark order that we needed to have another segment after this, wherein Andrade challenged 10 to put his mask on the line against him next week, which in addition to being Dynamite’s anniversary is also the anniversary of Brodie Lee’s last match on Friday’s Rampage. 10 agrees, but on the condition that Andrade leaves AEW if he loses.
Who could possibly care about any of this? Either a disappointing midcarder leaves the company, or an undercard nobody loses his mask in what will surely be an important step I a story where he leaves a group of undercard babyface clowns to join a group of undercard heels that has elevated absolutely nobody.
Andrade accepts, and the Dark Order leaves, at which point Stokely Hathaway and Ethan Page showed up and warned Andrade that Matt Hardy might be tampering with Private Party’s contract.
WILLOW NIGHTENGALE vs. JAMIE HAYTER (w/Dr. Britt Baker, DMD & Rebel)- 6/10
Action-wise, this was good, but the announcing on the finish was infuriating. Hayter won after interference stopped Willow from hitting her finisher. The fans all cheered, even though the heel cheated to win. Then Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone start talking about how Hayter “earned this win.” NO SHE F*CKING DIDN’! She won because her friends illegally interfered!
WAR-JOE VIDEO PACKAGE- fine
Joe was good, and Wardlow miraculously didn’t say anything to screw this up.
Call me old-fashioned, but shouldn’t the two TV champions be defending their titles instead of forming a tag team?
RYAN NEMETH’S IN-RING PROMO IS INTERRUPTED BY HOOK- terrible
Nemeth comes out and insults the crowd, so Hook comes out and beats him up. Then Hook went to leave, ignoring any offer to join the Trustbusters. The problem here is that they had been advertising an appearance by Hook all night… and yet Hook didn’t actually do anything besides beat up Nemeth in a supposedly unscripted segment. If Nemeth hadn’t come out and made fun of the crowd, what was Hook going to do? Just walk out at some point and then walk to the back?
And the thing that makes this even more frustrating is that it all could have been solved by simply not advertising “and Hook will make an appearance!”
FOOTAGE OF SWERVE STRICKLAND AT A RAP FESTIVAL- This was good… until they said the worlds “National Scissoring Day,” at which point I can’t take anything seriously.
ADAM PAGE PROMO/VIDEO- bad
He talked about how important motivation from the fans is to him, and it’s going to help him win the world title… and then the cameraman reminded him that the match will take place in Moxley’s home city, and he said “oh sh*t” and lost all of his confidence.
Page looked like such a goof here. First of all, how did he not know where the match was going to be? I’m not even sure they’ve given us a date yet, and they haven’t given the show any kind of special name, but every time they mention it, they make sure to say that it will be “in Cincinnati,” so how the f*ck did Page not know this?
Secondly, Page suddenly losing all of his confidence because he realizes most people in the crowd will be against him makes him look like sh*t. I don’t care if you think that’s part of a character arc for Adam Page. He has already overcome Kenny Omega and won the world title. He should be over this by now. If he’s not, then it’s not a character arc because an arc starts in one place and ends somewhere else. It doesn’t keep going back to the same place. It’s called a “character arc,” not a “character circle.”
MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS PEOPLE IN THE MAIN EVENT- bad
Everyone was boring, a clown, or both.
TRENT BERETTA PROMO- fine
Apparently he’s getting a shot at the All-Atlantic Championship despite not having won a singles match on TV since January, and only having won one on any of the non-televised shows in that time-span, either. To make this even better, do you know what Trent’s last televised singles match was? Him losing an ROH TV Title match to Samoa Joe.
Trent cut what would have been a decent promo if this was just a grudge match and he was going for revenge on Pac for injuring Orange Cassidy, but this being a title match really damaged it for me, as he said pretty much nothing about the title itself. And I’ll bet you anything that this wouldn’t even have been a title match if it wasn’t on this stupid Battle of the Belts show whose brand they have already destroyed.
RUSH (w/Andrade el Idolo & Jose the Assistant) vs. JOHN SILVER (w/Alex Reynolds)- 5/10
Yeah. This got to be the main event over a tag title match. Rush did Rush stuff and was arrogant. He won.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
The heels attacked the Dork order after the match. Evil Uno and 10 came out to make the save. Butcher & Blade came out to help the heels, so Adam Page then showed up to clear the ring for the Dork Order. Tony Khan quickly booked Rush vs. Adam Page… for Dynamite, but we still can’t get Luchasaurus vs. Jungle Boy or FTR getting a tag title shot because… um…
Another boring episode of Rampage mostly involving people who I don’t understand how anyone can care about, given how rarely they win on TV and how annoying they are when they are actually are on TV.
Only the Acclaimed got an entrance. During their entrance, Max Caster ran down the idea of Private Party reuniting with Matt Hardy, even though the Acclaimed are babyfaces and Private Party getting back together with Matt is the outcome we’re supposed to want to see in that storyline.
Speaking of Matt, he was shown watching backstage. Tony Schiavone told us that “it was a great relationship between Matt Hardy and Private Party.” Yes, that great relationship where the storyline was that he was taking advantage of them with unfair contracts. Idiot. Why do people like Tony Schiavone again?
They did moves until the Acclaimed won.
LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS THE FIRM- bad
The Gunns were goofballs. Stokely had to keep correcting them. They said that it’s FTR’s fault they haven’t gotten a title shot despite being #1 contenders for months because they haven’t said “we want a title shot.” That makes FTR look kind of sh*tty.
They say they only care about the AEW World Tag Team Titles, and that they will do what everyone else does and leapfrog FTR for a title shot. W. Morrissey was also there. He looked unhappy.
LEXI NAIR’S INTERVIEW WITH JADE CARGILL IS INTERRUPTED BY VICKIE GUERRERO, NYLA ROSE, &… SOMEONE ELSE- bad
Was the other person maybe Marina Shafir? Who knows in AEW. Anyway, Vickie pointed out that while Jade might have beaten Nyla the last time they wrestled, she didn’t actually pin her. I had no memory of this, so I looked it up on Cagematch.net. It happened OVER A YEAR AGO!
This is not “long-term storytelling.” If this were long-term storytelling, then that fact would have been brought up occasionally while reasons were created for why Nyla didn’t challenge Jade again. This is just having something theoretically important go completely ignored until you’re ready for it to be relevant again, except if something goes ignored for an entire year, then how important could it really be?
FUEGO DEL SOL vs. LEE MORIARTY (w/Stokely Hathaway & W. Morrissey)- squash
Moriarty left the hold in after the bell.
LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS ADAM PAGE- SNORE!
Page mentions that he will win the AEW Title from Jon Moxley when he gets his shot.
Also standing with Page were the exact members of the Dark order that we needed to have another segment after this, wherein Andrade challenged 10 to put his mask on the line against him next week, which in addition to being Dynamite’s anniversary is also the anniversary of Brodie Lee’s last match on Friday’s Rampage. 10 agrees, but on the condition that Andrade leaves AEW if he loses.
Who could possibly care about any of this? Either a disappointing midcarder leaves the company, or an undercard nobody loses his mask in what will surely be an important step I a story where he leaves a group of undercard babyface clowns to join a group of undercard heels that has elevated absolutely nobody.
Andrade accepts, and the Dark Order leaves, at which point Stokely Hathaway and Ethan Page showed up and warned Andrade that Matt Hardy might be tampering with Private Party’s contract.
WILLOW NIGHTENGALE vs. JAMIE HAYTER (w/Dr. Britt Baker, DMD & Rebel)- 6/10
Action-wise, this was good, but the announcing on the finish was infuriating. Hayter won after interference stopped Willow from hitting her finisher. The fans all cheered, even though the heel cheated to win. Then Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone start talking about how Hayter “earned this win.” NO SHE F*CKING DIDN’! She won because her friends illegally interfered!
WAR-JOE VIDEO PACKAGE- fine
Joe was good, and Wardlow miraculously didn’t say anything to screw this up.
Call me old-fashioned, but shouldn’t the two TV champions be defending their titles instead of forming a tag team?
RYAN NEMETH’S IN-RING PROMO IS INTERRUPTED BY HOOK- terrible
Nemeth comes out and insults the crowd, so Hook comes out and beats him up. Then Hook went to leave, ignoring any offer to join the Trustbusters. The problem here is that they had been advertising an appearance by Hook all night… and yet Hook didn’t actually do anything besides beat up Nemeth in a supposedly unscripted segment. If Nemeth hadn’t come out and made fun of the crowd, what was Hook going to do? Just walk out at some point and then walk to the back?
And the thing that makes this even more frustrating is that it all could have been solved by simply not advertising “and Hook will make an appearance!”
FOOTAGE OF SWERVE STRICKLAND AT A RAP FESTIVAL- This was good… until they said the worlds “National Scissoring Day,” at which point I can’t take anything seriously.
ADAM PAGE PROMO/VIDEO- bad
He talked about how important motivation from the fans is to him, and it’s going to help him win the world title… and then the cameraman reminded him that the match will take place in Moxley’s home city, and he said “oh sh*t” and lost all of his confidence.
Page looked like such a goof here. First of all, how did he not know where the match was going to be? I’m not even sure they’ve given us a date yet, and they haven’t given the show any kind of special name, but every time they mention it, they make sure to say that it will be “in Cincinnati,” so how the f*ck did Page not know this?
Secondly, Page suddenly losing all of his confidence because he realizes most people in the crowd will be against him makes him look like sh*t. I don’t care if you think that’s part of a character arc for Adam Page. He has already overcome Kenny Omega and won the world title. He should be over this by now. If he’s not, then it’s not a character arc because an arc starts in one place and ends somewhere else. It doesn’t keep going back to the same place. It’s called a “character arc,” not a “character circle.”
MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS PEOPLE IN THE MAIN EVENT- bad
Everyone was boring, a clown, or both.
TRENT BERETTA PROMO- fine
Apparently he’s getting a shot at the All-Atlantic Championship despite not having won a singles match on TV since January, and only having won one on any of the non-televised shows in that time-span, either. To make this even better, do you know what Trent’s last televised singles match was? Him losing an ROH TV Title match to Samoa Joe.
Trent cut what would have been a decent promo if this was just a grudge match and he was going for revenge on Pac for injuring Orange Cassidy, but this being a title match really damaged it for me, as he said pretty much nothing about the title itself. And I’ll bet you anything that this wouldn’t even have been a title match if it wasn’t on this stupid Battle of the Belts show whose brand they have already destroyed.
RUSH (w/Andrade el Idolo & Jose the Assistant) vs. JOHN SILVER (w/Alex Reynolds)- 5/10
Yeah. This got to be the main event over a tag title match. Rush did Rush stuff and was arrogant. He won.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
The heels attacked the Dork order after the match. Evil Uno and 10 came out to make the save. Butcher & Blade came out to help the heels, so Adam Page then showed up to clear the ring for the Dork Order. Tony Khan quickly booked Rush vs. Adam Page… for Dynamite, but we still can’t get Luchasaurus vs. Jungle Boy or FTR getting a tag title shot because… um…
Another boring episode of Rampage mostly involving people who I don’t understand how anyone can care about, given how rarely they win on TV and how annoying they are when they are actually are on TV.