BRM Reviews the 4/12/2023 Dynamite

[Big Red Machine]

DARBY ALLIN vs. SHANE STRICKLAND- (w/Prince Nana & Brian Cage)- 7.5/20
Aubrey: Either Darby’s belt is an illegal foreign object and you should DQ Swerve for hitting Darby with it, or it’s not illegal, and you should leave Swerve the f*ck alone. I also hated babyface Darby biting Swerve’s foot. Is it really that hard to be a babyface and not cheat in this company?
Other than that stuff, this was a really great match with the usual craziness and even some limb-work. That being said, it never should have been booked. Well… that’s not totally true. If they weren’t going to put Swerve over, it never should have been booked. Darby could have beaten pretty much anyone here to get him a win and push him towards the world title. Swerve is a heel currently in a blood feud with two other babyfaces (Dustin Rhodes and- more importantly- Keith Lee), and he just got himself a new stable. He should not be losing!
If you want to have Darby lose by interference, that’s great. That gets over the new stable, and keeps Swerve’s heat. If you want to have Darby lose cleanly, I’m fine with that, too. You can use that to subvert expectations and show that we’re not just getting a four-way between all Four Pillars, and add some much-needed uncertainty to all of their matches from here until the PPV, as opposed to giving us long matches where we know they’re going to win for what feels like months already. Or you could even tell a story where Darby is struggling to earn the title shot and keep pace with the others, who do it much more easily. But having Darby win cleanly- and especially overcome interference as well- unnecessarily hurts Swerve, while giving Darby nothing he couldn’t have gotten from a win over Jake Hager or Jay Lethal or Jeff Jarrett.

They showed us Jungle Boy watching from backstage. They also showed us Sammy Guevara and Tay Melo watching backstage. Speaking of those two, the commercial for All Access this week starts with Sammy claiming that before they got together Tay was “one of the biggest babyfaces in the company.” That’s only true if you use WWE Hall of Fame logic.

They are advertising that MJF’s presence is “mandatory” tonight, like he’s not on the show every week.
Speaking of which, it’s time for the…

MJF & DARBY ALLIN PROMO SEGMENT- AWESOME… until it got too inside and ruined itself
Darby Allin is still in the ring, even after a commercial break. Isn’t that, disrespectful to not leave the ring during someone else’s promo time?
MJF put Darby over, but brought up beating him with a headlock takeover (leaving out that he knocked him out with a weapon first). He said that as good as Darby was, he was better. Darby then cut a wonderful babyface promo in response (and even smiled briefly, when talking about using the money he has made in AEW to help his dad retire and buy his parents a house). He also put over therapy (highly recommended. I mean going to therapy, not putting it over. You know what? I’ll recommend both going and putting it over).
MJF responded by saying that he was tired of everyone talking about his morals, and said that morals got in the way of success. He said that if Darby kept his morals, he would never be more than “Sting’s bitch.”
This brought Sting out. Tony Schiavone apparently didn’t know that Sting was in the building. Aren’t they supposed to be friends? That seems odd that Sting wouldn’t even say hello to his friend Tony backstage.
Sting came out and started being goofy. He had pom-poms, which he used to support his point, but why did he bring them if he didn’t know that this confrontation was going to occur?
He said that Cody was MJF’s supposed support system, just like Sting is for Darby. I thought he was going to talk about how MJF threw that away when he turned on Cody, but instead Sting said that when he was young, Surfer Sting’s support system was Ric Flair. You mean the guy who kept screwing you out of the world title and whose goons assaulted you when you won a title shot fair and square and he didn’t want to give it to you? And the guy who screwed you over again a few years later even after you told him that if he screwed you over, he would be dead? That guy was your “support system?”
Sting said that showtime was almost over for him, but that it was just starting for Darby. Darby then finished up the promo with a strong line vowing to be the guy who ends MJF’s reign. MJF spat in Darby’s face, then left.
The Sting interlude killed this, both by being pointlessly and damagingly insider, and by taking the thunder away from Darby. I left this segment wanting to see MJF vs. Sting more than MJF vs. Darby.

AEW TNT TITLE MATCH: Will Hobbs(c) (w/QTV) vs. Silas Young- pointless squash
QTV is the name of the name of Q.T.’s group now. No mention of why they’re not the factory, where Anthony Ogogo, Nick Comorato, or the two or three others have gone, and of where Harley Cameron came from.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- snore
Wardlow got a cameraperson and showed up on the KhanTron with a pipe and smashed up the new car that Q.T. bought for Hobbs with Wardlow’s credit card. He then used a stanchion that was only there to make the heels look cartoonishly arrogant to smash the windshield… and then used a forklift that was there for no discernable reason and with the keys just sitting in the ignition- to destroy the car.
Hobbs just watched all of this and decided to do a Powerbomb Symphony to Silas Young in order to somehow get revenge on Wardlow. Thankfully Wardlow actually did come out to fight Hobbs. They brawled until the locker room and road agents came out to break it up. Where were these assholes last week when Adam Page was getting STABBED IN THE EYE? Of course, the geeks got beaten up by Wardlow, because it’s a Wardlow segment, and Tony Khan can’t come up with anything to do to get him over other than throw smaller people around.



This doesn’t work for me because I can see how the pieces fit together, and how many mistakes were made just to do this segment that is supposed to make Wardlow look cool, but I can’t help but see it and think that they are trying way too hard with Wardlow. He doesn’t feel like a star. He feels like someone copying stuff he saw in the Attitude Era.
In hindsight (and, quite frankly, with foresight, because it’s pro wrestling, and the more someone talks about loving a car, the more likely the car is to be destroyed) it is the clear that the whole reason for the car thing is so that Wardlow could destroy it. But in order to get to that and to make the car something that the audience would feel that Wardlow would be entitled to destroy, they had to have the heels commit the crime of breaking into Wardlow’s car and stealing his wallet and gear, and then committing credit card fraud and then be complete and total idiots and admit to it on TV for no reason other than to get the info out there to the audience (and this all also made Wardlow look like an idiot for not cancelling his credit card that he knew was stolen). And, of course, Wardlow can’t make this dramatic return if he doesn’t go away, so loses his title and then just disappears for five weeks, with no explanation.

JAY WHITE & JUICE ROBINSON VIDEO PACKAGE/PROMO- bad
They’re still Bullet Club. This apparently does make some sense with the current storyline in New Japan, so that’s good, but this whole thing was bad. Everything I said last week about being sick and tired of Bullet Club still applies, but they have now made it worse by 1) calling themselves “Bullet Club Gold” and 2) doing the “we’re here to take over” bit. They come off like nWo wanna-bes, and that’s never a good thing, but even worse, they come off like a combination of nWo Japan and nWo Black-and-White. They’re a stable in a secondary company which will be in a much more minor role than in the parent company, and they have a color-based name to differentiate themselves.
But even without any of that, this would have still been bad because Juice Robinson opened his mouth. He’s SOOOOOOO bad. He comes across like someone trying to play a comedic “tough guy” character on TV. It’s embarrassing to watch.

AEW INTERNATIONAL TITLE MATCH: Orange Cassidy(c) vs. Buddy Matthews (w/Julia Hart)- 6.75/10
For those wondering, this was Buddy Matthews’ first singles match in AEW since… he lost a match for this same championship to Darby in late January. Matthews has the MCW World Heavyweight Title with him. He did a clean job. I’m sure MCW is thrilled.
OC’s hand is injured. The referee called for the bell while Matthews was still holding his title belt. INCOMPETENCE.
They did moves and told a story with OC’s injured hand, but no one thought there was any chance of OC losing the belt, and they did too much dumb Orange Cassidy sh*t for me to be able to get into the match.

CHRISTIAN & LUCHASAURUS VIDEO- whatever
Luchasaurus looked scary. Christian let us know that “some things have changed.” Thanks for the info, bud.

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS ORANGE CASSIDY & BEST FRIENDS- bad
Renee asks OC about his hand, at which point his supposed Best Friends steal his interview and use it to challenge Aussie Open to an IWGP Tag Team Title match they have done absolutely nothing to earn. So make sure you tune into Rampage, everyone, so you can see an undeserving bottom-of-the-midcard team challenge another midcard team for some other company’s titles.

ETHAN PAGE CALLS OUT MATT HARDY- hated it
He’s too dumb to figure out that Matt doesn’t actually like him. He also demands that Matt come out and tell him what Matt “put in the contract.” Dude? Did you sign a contract without reading it? What a moron!
Matt and Isiah Kassidy came out and Matt explained that he hates Ethan page, and also that he put a stipulation in the contract of the Hook vs. Page match that if Hook won, Matt hardy and Private Party’s contracts would no longer be owned by the Firm.
Okay… so what? What does that mean, exactly? What did it ever mean?
Then Matt said that the contract also said that if Hook won, Matt would get to pick the place, location, and stipulation of their next match. Matt then announced that if he wins, his and Private Party’s contracts will no longer be owned by the Firm. Um… didn’t you just say that was the stipulation of the Ethan Page vs. Hook match?
Big Bill and Lee Moriarty came out and jumped Matt and Isiah from behind. Hook came out to make the save, but was eventually overwhelmed. Only then did Jeff Hardy come out to make the save. So he sat there and watched his brother get jumped and said “oh. Hook is going to help him, so I guess I don’t have to?” What a bad brother!
These are the sorts of details in AEW that drive me nuts. They design these segments to maximize the pops by staggering the babyfaces entrances into the brawl, but this comes at the expense of logic, and makes the guy making the return look a bit like an asshole.

KENNY OMEGA PRE-RECORDED PROMO- excellent
He swears revenge for assault on the Bucks, but especially on Don Callis.

BRANDON CUTLER & MICHAEL NAKAZAWA vs. BLACKPOOL COMBAT CLUB (Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli) (w/Wheeler YUTA)- no rating, dull segment
Nakazawa and Cutler were here to get revenge for their buddies, but they weren’t even wearing wrestling gear. The BCC beat them up before the bell. The comedy geeks were given offense against the vicious heels. At least Moxley made a point of not going down for them. Moxley delivered some not-very-good-looking stomps to Cutler’s head to win via referee stoppage.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- grrr
Moxley cut a promo while the others beat up Cutler. Earlier tonight we saw a whole herd of wrestlers come out to stop two evenly matched wrestlers from fighting, but now we have one barely-conscious dude who a referee already ruled was unable to defend himself getting beaten two death by two healthy opponents, and no one comes out to help him.
Ah. Here comes just Kenny Omega. He stands on the ramp and wants the BCC to come to him. Only Moxley did so… which was fortunate, because of all three of them had done so, none of the targets would have been in the ring for the Bucks to sneak up on. *rolls eyes*.
Also fortunately for the Elite, Bryan Danielson was mysteriously absent, so it was three on three instead of them being outnumbered. Kenny Omega got a tool box while the others trapped Moxley in the ring. We just saw Kenny vow to do terrible things to Moxley and pals, and still no one is coming out to stop this… but G-d forbid Hobbs and Wardlow get into a brawl on the ramp.
Omega lined Moxley up for a shot with something, but one of the Jackson stopped him, pulled a screwdriver out of his pocket, and gave it to Kenny, because it’s the Young Bucks and Kenny omega, so of course we can’t have them try to get revenge on someone without sticking some sort of stupid, overdramatic spot in the middle. Twenty seconds ago, you hit Moxley with a BTE-Trigger. If you wanted to stab him with a screwdriver, why didn’t you do it then? Why waste time letting Kenny get a weapon, hen get in Kenny’s way to dramatically reveal that you had a weapon all along? All you’re doing is giving Moxley time to recover.
Or for his friends to recover and pull him to safety, which is what happened. They pulled Moxley to safety and then left… and I guess that stabbing the turnbuckle with a screwdriver sated the Elite’s bloodlust, because they decided not to pursue. *Rolls eyes again*. This would have been a great time for that security to show up and get involved.
Like I said above, this is the sort of sh*t that drives me crazy, because whoever put this segment together was thinking about how to get the most pops, not how to tell a logical story.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS PRINCE NANA, BRIAN CAGE, & SHANE STRICKLAND- meh
Strickland remembered that he still has some scores to settle, so I assume Keith Lee is getting attacked later.

SKYE BLUE & RIHO vs. THE OUTCASTS (Toni Storm & Ruby Riot) (w/Saraya)- 2.5/10
The heels jumped the babyfaces for the second match in a row. The heels won a short-match cleanly.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- snore
For what feels like the forty-third week in a row, the Outcasts attacked someone and tried to spray-paint an L on them. This time they succeeded in doing so to Riho, then gave her a triple-powerbomb.
For what feels like the twentieth week in a row, Jamie Hayter and Britt Baker come out to brawl with the outcasts. Hayter came out first, and then, when she needed help, Britt came out, so that we could get two pops instead of one, at the cost of making the “babyfaces” (Britt is still unlikable) look like idiots for not coming out at the same time. The babyfaces won the brawl. Dr. Baker had Saraya lined up for a Curb Stomp, but the other two pulled her out of the way. The heels left, and the babyfaces decided not to chase.
So yeah. That’s two matches in a row where we got:
1. The heels jumping the bell on the babyfaces.
2. The heels win a short match.
3. The heels attack the babyfaces after the match.
4. Other babyfaces come out to fight the heels.
5. One of the babyfaces has one of the heels lined up for a big move…
6. But the other heels pull that heel to safety.
7. The heels leave, with the babyfaces deciding not to follow.

On Rampage they advertised that Mark Briscoe will be teaming up with the Jeff Jarrett/Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt/Satnam Singh group. I have absolutely no idea why, and I’m one of the few people who actually watch ROH.
Also, in the main event of Rampage, Jungle Boy will wrestle Shawn Spears, who I think has been on TV once in the past year.

On the bright side, Wardlow is getting his title shot next week. Good job booking that so soon after he came back, Tony.

KEITH LEE vs. CHRIS JERICHO (w/Daniel Garcia)- 7.5/10
Lee has a dark, hooded entrance robe that makes him look like a wizard.
I liked this a lot, as they did a lot of stuff with the size difference between these two. I don’t quite see what everyone disliked about it. Jericho won after Shane Strickland interfered.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- okay
Cole did to Jericho what Jericho did to him by coming out to check on the victor’s opponent. This continues moving Cole and Lee together, but this segment made me feel that Jericho’s comments were a little more justified, as by trying to recreate the situation, AEW has drawn a comparison between them, and I can totally see why Jericho (and, quite frankly, anyone else) would be a little annoyed that Cole got confetti dropped for his win, and no one else gets it when they win.


Despite a two excellent talking segments and great matches bookending the show, on the whole, I didn’t think this was a good episode of Dynamite. Too much of the stuff in the middle was frustrating, bad or both. I also thought it was a big mistake not to have any follow-up with FTR after last week’s big win (they won the tag belts and saved their AEW careers!) and (to a lesser extent) to not follow up with the JAS/Acclaimed angle from Rampage.