BRM Reviews the 5/17/2012 Impact (Offensively Bad)
Posted: May 18th, '12, 03:47
OPENING SEGMENT- I thought Roode’s promo was over the top stupid. He comes out and tells everyone about the awesome party he wants to have, even giving it a moronic name, and makes these public demands that his dressing room get new furniture and Champagne and green M&M’s… it was just moronic. Then he demands that Hogan come out so that he can make these demands to Hogan. Hogan gives us some very clunky exposition about Open Fight Night and a recap of the last one, he teases that other titles might be defended before, in a swerve that surprised absolutely no one, deciding that Bobby Roode will defend the World Title (at least Hulk is thinking ahead this time). Then he asks who wants a shot at the World Title, and in the only good part about this segment, pretty much the entire roster comes out (major props to Aries, by the way- when Hogan asked how he could narrow it down to just one person, Aries raised his hand. Everyone else just stood there looking tough). Then Hogan says that he needs to narrow it down to four guys, so he starts naming six names to face each other in singles matches tonight… and says that everyone else will have to be in one giant battle royale (basically pooping on them, saying that they aren’t on par with the other guys- and this includes guys like AJ, Matt Morgan, Austin Aries, Crimson, Daniels, and Kaz). How we will figure out which of the four winners will face Roode for the title next week is never stated (although from Hogan’s statement at the end of the segment, it seemed like Roode was going to defend the belt against all four guys tonight).
Before we go on, I need to point out just how ridiculous it is that Hogan singled out the six guys that he did for singles matches. First, RVD, who just had a World Heavyweight Title match at Sacrifice… and lost. Cleanly. In his own specialty match! Why should he have an easier road to another title shot? RVD will face Bully Ray, who lost his match at Sacrifice. Austin Aries, the reigning X-Division Champion and the guy who beat Bully Ray… will have to compete in the zillion person battle royale, where his chance of having the World Title shot will be much smaller.
Then there was Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle. At Sacrifice, Samoa Joe lost his match. His opponent tonight, Kurt Angle, is one of the only two of these six hand-picked wrestlers who won at Sacrifice (albeit not cleanly).
And then there is the match that Hogan makes that absolutely pisses me off. Hogan says “I’m having a real hard time with this Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson situation. Things are all tit for tat, back and forth, and I think we need to find out once and for all who comes out on top.” THEY JUST HAD A MATCH ON SUNDAY AT SACRIFICE! Which Anderson won! That is the call that the ref made, and until we get clear evidence that the ref was wrong, the ref’s call must be respected. So we already know the better man is! Why the hell are we having this match?!
So let’s recap: The guy who lost cleanly to the champ, three other guys who lost, and one guy who won in a non-clean finish on the PPV a few days ago… and just one guy who won cleanly at the PPV. One of the matches to determine who will get to advance to a shot for a shot at the World Heavyweight Title is a REMATCH OF A MATCH WITH A CLEAN FINISH FROM THE PPV. Of the guys who will likely be in the Battle Royale, we have Aries, Devon, Daniels, and Kaz all of whom are currently champions and who actually WON at the PPV. CLEANLY! We also have Crimson, who not only won cleanly at the PPV, but is on a sixteen month long undefeated streak. This might as well scream “Don’t order this PPV, it doesn’t mean sh*t.”
MATCH TO QUALIFY FOR A CHANCE TO GET A SHOT AT THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE OR WHATEVER NEXT WEEK: Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray- 3.5/10.
Bully Ray wins in THREE MINUTES! So one of these guys who Hogan thinks is so great that his chances for getting into the world title match should be increased… loses in three and a half minutes. If he had tapped out to a submission targeting one of his taped-up body parts, then MAYBE, but that’s not what happened. Then, backstage, Bully Ray starts to cut a promo on the Kardashians until he sees Joseph Park, Parks says that he has figured out that Bully Ray is the “fire” that Abyss is warning him not to get to close to. This was lame, but my major gripe with it is Bubba’s promo. Why cut a promo on the Kadashians? What does that get you? A cheap laugh? Wouldn’t it have been a more effective use of this time to have Bubba cut a promo on BOBBY ROODE who’s title he had started to chase over the winter and now has another shot at?
Okay, Tenay’s commentary seems to have clarified the confusion about the world title shot: The winner of this match will get a TNA World Heavyweight Title Match next week (so I guess it will be a five way match). The problem is that they are billing these matches as “Open Fight Night Qualifying Matches,” which sounds like you are qualifying to be on next week’s show… you know, where the gimmick is that ANYONE can show up and call someone out.
During this match, Taz and Tenay hyped up the “Gut Check” portion of Open Fight Night. This was good. What wasn’t good was that as soon as they mentioned “Gut Check” a graphic came up on the screen advertising their upcoming house show tour, also entitled “Gut Check.” This creates the expectation that the whole “Gut Check” thing will be done at the house shows, which I doubt it will, thus disappointing people.
KING MO SIGNING STUFF- This was a clip of an interview with King Mo and Dixie Carter from some show during which the host (from the hypothetical POV of an “MMA purist” but that is irrelevant) says “as much as we love TNA Wrestling, this isn’t the real deal.” Basically he is saying that wrestling is fake. Obviously this breaks kayfabe in the worst way. Why would you air this?
The other host then answerer that people realize that pro wrestling and MMA are different things. This is a fine answer, but it does nothing but tell us what we already know. So why waste time airing it? A much more effective use of this time would have been to just play some clips of King Mo kicking people’s asses.
GAIL & MADISON BACKSTAGE- the angle is coming across well. I just have no interest in it. Then Tessmacher and Velvet show up and cut an eh promo on Gail.
BATTLE ROYALE TO QUALIFY FOR THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE SHOT NEXT WEEK- 1.5/10
I feel bad giving this such a low rating because the ringwork seemed competent (nothing special, but still competent), but the booking of this match was utter sh*t. The only bright spot here was the little mini-match between Aries and AJ that REALLY makes me want to see those two wrestle.
The participants in this match were Austin Aries, AJ, Magnus, Gunner, Eric Young, ODB, Crimson, Devon, Garrett Bischoff, Rob Terry, and Robbie E. Basically… everyone who appeared on the PPV but wasn’t in one of the other matches (aside from Kaz and Daniels… and why should they be rewarded? All they did was WIN at the PPV) along with Gunner. Oh. And they felt the need to also include GARRETT BISCHOFF That’s right. Garrett Bischoff, who hasn’t even been on TV in a few weeks was in this match, but the guys who WON A MATCH AT THE PPV A FEW DAYS AGO WEREN’T!
That stupidity aside, I have another major problem with this: If Hogan called out everyone who wanted a shot at Roode’s title… EVERY MALE WRESTLER ON THE ROSTER SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THIS MATCH (and is sure looked like most of them came out earlier). Not only this, but some of the guys who did come out earlier (like Matt Morgan) weren’t even in this match.
About fifteen seconds into this match, EY and ODB’s double clothesline eliminated Crimson. That’s right; Crimson. The big monster with the sixteen month long undefeated streak… and they ended it with almost no build fifteen seconds into a decently large battle royale… at the hands of the inter-gender comedy team. This was mentioned ONCE by Mike Tenay right when it happened, then never mentioned again.
Robbie E. eliminated Rob Terry, further setting up for a feud between those two. Yes, that’s right. Doug Williams and Pope haven’t been on TV in months. Sabin and Shelley aren’t doing anything right now. It’s been a while since we have seen either Kid Kash or Zema Ion. Hernandez could use a fresh start… but the guys that TNA wants to put in an angle on TV are ROB TERRY AND ROBBIE E! You have plenty of guys (especially MCMG) who are super-over. Who fans will pay just to see their matches… and TNA has decided to go with a feud between two guys who couldn’t put asses in seats even if TNA was giving away free blowjobs and a five hundred dollar check.
Taz, of course, calls this cow-pie “the best battle royale I have ever seen.”
AJ STYLES PROMO- confusing, as AJ seemed to be petitioning Hogan to give him a title match next week against Roode. I thought that winning this match automatically put you into a title match. Too much confusion here, which is a bad thing.
AJ, DANIELS, & KAZ SEGMENT- Bad. This starts off with AJ saying that Dixie has been his “business partner” for ten years. No she hasn’t. SHE’S YOUR BOSS! If I get a job working for Microsoft, Bill Gates and I are not suddenly business partners. He is my boss. AJ makes the obvious claim that the pictures are being misconstrued. Kaz then cuts a promo talking about how AJ has benefitted from this alleged relationship with Dixie, then asks AJ “what’s the deal with the pictures, man?” Why is Kaz asking this question? He just laid out what (he believes) the deal is!
Anyway, I was prepared to give TNA credit here. AJ says that pictures can be misconstrued, so Daniels plays some video footage of AJ and Dixie walking with their arms around each other and going into a motel room together (though I’m not sure why they had to play the footage on Kaz’s iPad. Was the PandaTron not compatible? That must have sucked for the live crowd). Of course, AJ could just say that video can be misconstrued, but the angle is still believable because you could understand how someone could misconstrue the footage (and photos) and might believe that AJ and Dixie are having an affair. I have a good friend and I would often hang out at her apartment and we would talk about various important things (religion, politics, society, gender issues, our personal lives and those of our group of friends, etc.). As discussions like these tend to, they would last late into the night, and I was often seen leaving her room at close to three in the morning. This was all the evidence one of the guys in her building who vaguely knew both of us needed to assume that I was her 2AM booty call. It was absolutely not what was happening, but I can understand how someone could come to that conclusion. In this angle, where you have a guy like Daniels who genuinely wants to believe that there is some reason that AJ has succeeded more than he has, and admitting that AJ is the better wrestler is not an option in his mind, then you can definitely see how he would come to believe that AJ and Dixie are having an affair.
At this point, I’m sure some of you are shouting, “But BRM, wait! You just said that you “were prepared” to give TNA credit, then you explained why you thought that the angle was realistic… but you never said that you actually did give them credit. Why not?”
The answer to this question is in the way AJ’s response to the video footage was handled. AJ (if the allegation is untrue) should be doing the same thing that he did with the photos; claiming that they were misconstrued, because that is the truth. But what AJ did here (just walk away) makes AJ look guilty here.
The other thing that bothers me about this angle is the fact that no one has asked Dixie about this yet. Two guys have come forward alleging that the boss is having an affair with an employee.
SAMOE JOE PROMO- WHOA! When the hell did Joe grow a mohawk? And WHY?
ANDERSON PROMO- not good. This would have been a great promo if the match at Sacrifice had been a #1 contendership match and Anderson had decided to give Jeff a rematch tonight, but that’s not what happened! Anderson didn’t decide to give Jeff another shot.
MATCH TO DETERMINE SOMETHING ABOUT MAYBE GETTING A WORLD TITLE MATCH NEXT WEEK: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy- 5.5/10
Was going decently well until we got the same stupid finish as the PPV, except this time no one says it is controversial at all now that Jeff is the one who got the win.
During this match Taz says that only one of the guys who won these “Open Fight Night Qualifying Matches” will get the shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Title. After it, Tenay says that Hogan will choose one of the four guys to face Roode next week. So we are having matches to determine which four guys will have the chance to be picked by Hogan to get the title shot? WTF?! Why not JUST DETERMINE IT IN A MATCH?! Isn’t this the company where “wrestling matters?”
TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Gail Kim(c) vs. Brooke Tessmacher vs. Velvet Sky- 4.25/10
Had some good spots.
MATCH WHERE THE WINNER MIGHT GET A TITLE SHOT NEXT WEEK OR MIGHT NOT OR MIGHT GET THE CHANCE TO GET ONE OR WHATEVER: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe- 6.75/10
This was so good for a nine minute match that I am willing to forgive the fact that it fell just short of my 7/10 cut-off for an acceptable main event. This match also saved this show from being one of the worst since that episode last July where Sting was walking around with a bird cage. I hated the stuff at the end, though, with AJ, Bully Ray, and Jeff coming out from different places in the arena. It just seemed so scripted.
This show was absolutely horrible. Not only was the action not very good (and almost everything good about it was Angle vs. Joe) and the booking offensively bad, but this was a giant middle finger to anyone who bought Sacrifice, which was, as Tenay’s pointlessly over-verbose commentary kept remind us, “last Sunday’s Pay-Per-View event.” What this show said was “don’t bother buying our PPVs. Who wins and who loses will be ignored and we’ll give you the same matches, even with the same finishes, for free on TV on Thursday." It did a decent job of building to the World Title match next week, but there is so much confusion about who and how many people will be getting the title shot and how that will be determined that it almost undermines the hype.
Oh… and the TV Title wasn’t defended this week. So much for that. It lasted a month.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Tenay- when all of the guys who wanted a shot at Roode’s title came out, Tenay said something to the effect of “so many worthy challengers. How do you pick just one?” Let’s think about that for a moment, “Professor.” The World Heavyweight Title is a claim that you are the best wrestler in the company, meaning that you have the correct combination of skills, smarts, ring awareness, athleticism, toughness, etc. If only we had some sort of officially sanctioned contest that would allow the various wrestlers to test the above attributes against each other in direct competition.
Seriously, when an announcer wonders out loud how to solve a problem (especially about how to compare the skills of multiple wrestlers to see which one is superior) to which the obvious answer is to HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH, his or her mic should be cut and someone should be sent to replace him or her within the next few minutes.
2. Tenay: Well, certainly a very controversial conclusion to the Mr. Anderson-Jeff Hardy match this Sunday at our Sacrifice Pay-Per-View event. It was ruled that Mr. Anderson gained the three-count. And, like a photo finish. How many times can you look at that replay?
Taz (after saying that he and Tenay both looked at the replay many of times): I got to tell ya, it’s still hard to tell. It was a bang-bang decision and referee Ear Hebner; he did the right thing. You know what? Definitely controversy surrounds the finish of that match. I agree.
Tenay: Props to Hulk Hogan, our general manager, for doing the right thing and having this return match from this past Sunday’s Pay-Per-View event.
No. It’s not the right thing and there is no controversy! The ref’s call is final unless there is evidence that he actually did screw up. There isn’t. What we have here is a case of everyone saying that it looked so close that they couldn’t tell, but the referee- not only the guy who was closer to it than everybody else, but also THE GUY WHOSE JOB IT IS TO BE ABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE AND MAKE THE CALL- says that Jeff was down and Anderson won the match. Why are we second-guessing the referee?
3. Tenay (about Jeff Hardy and his match against Anderson)- “He’s trying to get a win here against Mr. Anderson. One; for pride and two; to qualify for Open Fight Night one week from tonight.” So what you are saying is that Jeff Hardy wants to win this match both to prove that he is the better wrestling and to earn the shot at the World Heavyweight Title that comes with winning this match? NO SH*T, SHERLOCK!
4. Taz says that the rivalry between Hardy and Anderson has developed “over the past several months”- Months? Try weeks. It has been less than a month. Anderson wasn’t even on TV a few months ago.
Before we go on, I need to point out just how ridiculous it is that Hogan singled out the six guys that he did for singles matches. First, RVD, who just had a World Heavyweight Title match at Sacrifice… and lost. Cleanly. In his own specialty match! Why should he have an easier road to another title shot? RVD will face Bully Ray, who lost his match at Sacrifice. Austin Aries, the reigning X-Division Champion and the guy who beat Bully Ray… will have to compete in the zillion person battle royale, where his chance of having the World Title shot will be much smaller.
Then there was Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle. At Sacrifice, Samoa Joe lost his match. His opponent tonight, Kurt Angle, is one of the only two of these six hand-picked wrestlers who won at Sacrifice (albeit not cleanly).
And then there is the match that Hogan makes that absolutely pisses me off. Hogan says “I’m having a real hard time with this Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson situation. Things are all tit for tat, back and forth, and I think we need to find out once and for all who comes out on top.” THEY JUST HAD A MATCH ON SUNDAY AT SACRIFICE! Which Anderson won! That is the call that the ref made, and until we get clear evidence that the ref was wrong, the ref’s call must be respected. So we already know the better man is! Why the hell are we having this match?!
So let’s recap: The guy who lost cleanly to the champ, three other guys who lost, and one guy who won in a non-clean finish on the PPV a few days ago… and just one guy who won cleanly at the PPV. One of the matches to determine who will get to advance to a shot for a shot at the World Heavyweight Title is a REMATCH OF A MATCH WITH A CLEAN FINISH FROM THE PPV. Of the guys who will likely be in the Battle Royale, we have Aries, Devon, Daniels, and Kaz all of whom are currently champions and who actually WON at the PPV. CLEANLY! We also have Crimson, who not only won cleanly at the PPV, but is on a sixteen month long undefeated streak. This might as well scream “Don’t order this PPV, it doesn’t mean sh*t.”
MATCH TO QUALIFY FOR A CHANCE TO GET A SHOT AT THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE OR WHATEVER NEXT WEEK: Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray- 3.5/10.
Bully Ray wins in THREE MINUTES! So one of these guys who Hogan thinks is so great that his chances for getting into the world title match should be increased… loses in three and a half minutes. If he had tapped out to a submission targeting one of his taped-up body parts, then MAYBE, but that’s not what happened. Then, backstage, Bully Ray starts to cut a promo on the Kardashians until he sees Joseph Park, Parks says that he has figured out that Bully Ray is the “fire” that Abyss is warning him not to get to close to. This was lame, but my major gripe with it is Bubba’s promo. Why cut a promo on the Kadashians? What does that get you? A cheap laugh? Wouldn’t it have been a more effective use of this time to have Bubba cut a promo on BOBBY ROODE who’s title he had started to chase over the winter and now has another shot at?
Okay, Tenay’s commentary seems to have clarified the confusion about the world title shot: The winner of this match will get a TNA World Heavyweight Title Match next week (so I guess it will be a five way match). The problem is that they are billing these matches as “Open Fight Night Qualifying Matches,” which sounds like you are qualifying to be on next week’s show… you know, where the gimmick is that ANYONE can show up and call someone out.
During this match, Taz and Tenay hyped up the “Gut Check” portion of Open Fight Night. This was good. What wasn’t good was that as soon as they mentioned “Gut Check” a graphic came up on the screen advertising their upcoming house show tour, also entitled “Gut Check.” This creates the expectation that the whole “Gut Check” thing will be done at the house shows, which I doubt it will, thus disappointing people.
KING MO SIGNING STUFF- This was a clip of an interview with King Mo and Dixie Carter from some show during which the host (from the hypothetical POV of an “MMA purist” but that is irrelevant) says “as much as we love TNA Wrestling, this isn’t the real deal.” Basically he is saying that wrestling is fake. Obviously this breaks kayfabe in the worst way. Why would you air this?
The other host then answerer that people realize that pro wrestling and MMA are different things. This is a fine answer, but it does nothing but tell us what we already know. So why waste time airing it? A much more effective use of this time would have been to just play some clips of King Mo kicking people’s asses.
GAIL & MADISON BACKSTAGE- the angle is coming across well. I just have no interest in it. Then Tessmacher and Velvet show up and cut an eh promo on Gail.
BATTLE ROYALE TO QUALIFY FOR THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE SHOT NEXT WEEK- 1.5/10
I feel bad giving this such a low rating because the ringwork seemed competent (nothing special, but still competent), but the booking of this match was utter sh*t. The only bright spot here was the little mini-match between Aries and AJ that REALLY makes me want to see those two wrestle.
The participants in this match were Austin Aries, AJ, Magnus, Gunner, Eric Young, ODB, Crimson, Devon, Garrett Bischoff, Rob Terry, and Robbie E. Basically… everyone who appeared on the PPV but wasn’t in one of the other matches (aside from Kaz and Daniels… and why should they be rewarded? All they did was WIN at the PPV) along with Gunner. Oh. And they felt the need to also include GARRETT BISCHOFF That’s right. Garrett Bischoff, who hasn’t even been on TV in a few weeks was in this match, but the guys who WON A MATCH AT THE PPV A FEW DAYS AGO WEREN’T!
That stupidity aside, I have another major problem with this: If Hogan called out everyone who wanted a shot at Roode’s title… EVERY MALE WRESTLER ON THE ROSTER SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THIS MATCH (and is sure looked like most of them came out earlier). Not only this, but some of the guys who did come out earlier (like Matt Morgan) weren’t even in this match.
About fifteen seconds into this match, EY and ODB’s double clothesline eliminated Crimson. That’s right; Crimson. The big monster with the sixteen month long undefeated streak… and they ended it with almost no build fifteen seconds into a decently large battle royale… at the hands of the inter-gender comedy team. This was mentioned ONCE by Mike Tenay right when it happened, then never mentioned again.
Robbie E. eliminated Rob Terry, further setting up for a feud between those two. Yes, that’s right. Doug Williams and Pope haven’t been on TV in months. Sabin and Shelley aren’t doing anything right now. It’s been a while since we have seen either Kid Kash or Zema Ion. Hernandez could use a fresh start… but the guys that TNA wants to put in an angle on TV are ROB TERRY AND ROBBIE E! You have plenty of guys (especially MCMG) who are super-over. Who fans will pay just to see their matches… and TNA has decided to go with a feud between two guys who couldn’t put asses in seats even if TNA was giving away free blowjobs and a five hundred dollar check.
Taz, of course, calls this cow-pie “the best battle royale I have ever seen.”
AJ STYLES PROMO- confusing, as AJ seemed to be petitioning Hogan to give him a title match next week against Roode. I thought that winning this match automatically put you into a title match. Too much confusion here, which is a bad thing.
AJ, DANIELS, & KAZ SEGMENT- Bad. This starts off with AJ saying that Dixie has been his “business partner” for ten years. No she hasn’t. SHE’S YOUR BOSS! If I get a job working for Microsoft, Bill Gates and I are not suddenly business partners. He is my boss. AJ makes the obvious claim that the pictures are being misconstrued. Kaz then cuts a promo talking about how AJ has benefitted from this alleged relationship with Dixie, then asks AJ “what’s the deal with the pictures, man?” Why is Kaz asking this question? He just laid out what (he believes) the deal is!
Anyway, I was prepared to give TNA credit here. AJ says that pictures can be misconstrued, so Daniels plays some video footage of AJ and Dixie walking with their arms around each other and going into a motel room together (though I’m not sure why they had to play the footage on Kaz’s iPad. Was the PandaTron not compatible? That must have sucked for the live crowd). Of course, AJ could just say that video can be misconstrued, but the angle is still believable because you could understand how someone could misconstrue the footage (and photos) and might believe that AJ and Dixie are having an affair. I have a good friend and I would often hang out at her apartment and we would talk about various important things (religion, politics, society, gender issues, our personal lives and those of our group of friends, etc.). As discussions like these tend to, they would last late into the night, and I was often seen leaving her room at close to three in the morning. This was all the evidence one of the guys in her building who vaguely knew both of us needed to assume that I was her 2AM booty call. It was absolutely not what was happening, but I can understand how someone could come to that conclusion. In this angle, where you have a guy like Daniels who genuinely wants to believe that there is some reason that AJ has succeeded more than he has, and admitting that AJ is the better wrestler is not an option in his mind, then you can definitely see how he would come to believe that AJ and Dixie are having an affair.
At this point, I’m sure some of you are shouting, “But BRM, wait! You just said that you “were prepared” to give TNA credit, then you explained why you thought that the angle was realistic… but you never said that you actually did give them credit. Why not?”
The answer to this question is in the way AJ’s response to the video footage was handled. AJ (if the allegation is untrue) should be doing the same thing that he did with the photos; claiming that they were misconstrued, because that is the truth. But what AJ did here (just walk away) makes AJ look guilty here.
The other thing that bothers me about this angle is the fact that no one has asked Dixie about this yet. Two guys have come forward alleging that the boss is having an affair with an employee.
SAMOE JOE PROMO- WHOA! When the hell did Joe grow a mohawk? And WHY?
ANDERSON PROMO- not good. This would have been a great promo if the match at Sacrifice had been a #1 contendership match and Anderson had decided to give Jeff a rematch tonight, but that’s not what happened! Anderson didn’t decide to give Jeff another shot.
MATCH TO DETERMINE SOMETHING ABOUT MAYBE GETTING A WORLD TITLE MATCH NEXT WEEK: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy- 5.5/10
Was going decently well until we got the same stupid finish as the PPV, except this time no one says it is controversial at all now that Jeff is the one who got the win.
During this match Taz says that only one of the guys who won these “Open Fight Night Qualifying Matches” will get the shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Title. After it, Tenay says that Hogan will choose one of the four guys to face Roode next week. So we are having matches to determine which four guys will have the chance to be picked by Hogan to get the title shot? WTF?! Why not JUST DETERMINE IT IN A MATCH?! Isn’t this the company where “wrestling matters?”
TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Gail Kim(c) vs. Brooke Tessmacher vs. Velvet Sky- 4.25/10
Had some good spots.
MATCH WHERE THE WINNER MIGHT GET A TITLE SHOT NEXT WEEK OR MIGHT NOT OR MIGHT GET THE CHANCE TO GET ONE OR WHATEVER: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe- 6.75/10
This was so good for a nine minute match that I am willing to forgive the fact that it fell just short of my 7/10 cut-off for an acceptable main event. This match also saved this show from being one of the worst since that episode last July where Sting was walking around with a bird cage. I hated the stuff at the end, though, with AJ, Bully Ray, and Jeff coming out from different places in the arena. It just seemed so scripted.
This show was absolutely horrible. Not only was the action not very good (and almost everything good about it was Angle vs. Joe) and the booking offensively bad, but this was a giant middle finger to anyone who bought Sacrifice, which was, as Tenay’s pointlessly over-verbose commentary kept remind us, “last Sunday’s Pay-Per-View event.” What this show said was “don’t bother buying our PPVs. Who wins and who loses will be ignored and we’ll give you the same matches, even with the same finishes, for free on TV on Thursday." It did a decent job of building to the World Title match next week, but there is so much confusion about who and how many people will be getting the title shot and how that will be determined that it almost undermines the hype.
Oh… and the TV Title wasn’t defended this week. So much for that. It lasted a month.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Tenay- when all of the guys who wanted a shot at Roode’s title came out, Tenay said something to the effect of “so many worthy challengers. How do you pick just one?” Let’s think about that for a moment, “Professor.” The World Heavyweight Title is a claim that you are the best wrestler in the company, meaning that you have the correct combination of skills, smarts, ring awareness, athleticism, toughness, etc. If only we had some sort of officially sanctioned contest that would allow the various wrestlers to test the above attributes against each other in direct competition.
Seriously, when an announcer wonders out loud how to solve a problem (especially about how to compare the skills of multiple wrestlers to see which one is superior) to which the obvious answer is to HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH, his or her mic should be cut and someone should be sent to replace him or her within the next few minutes.
2. Tenay: Well, certainly a very controversial conclusion to the Mr. Anderson-Jeff Hardy match this Sunday at our Sacrifice Pay-Per-View event. It was ruled that Mr. Anderson gained the three-count. And, like a photo finish. How many times can you look at that replay?
Taz (after saying that he and Tenay both looked at the replay many of times): I got to tell ya, it’s still hard to tell. It was a bang-bang decision and referee Ear Hebner; he did the right thing. You know what? Definitely controversy surrounds the finish of that match. I agree.
Tenay: Props to Hulk Hogan, our general manager, for doing the right thing and having this return match from this past Sunday’s Pay-Per-View event.
No. It’s not the right thing and there is no controversy! The ref’s call is final unless there is evidence that he actually did screw up. There isn’t. What we have here is a case of everyone saying that it looked so close that they couldn’t tell, but the referee- not only the guy who was closer to it than everybody else, but also THE GUY WHOSE JOB IT IS TO BE ABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE AND MAKE THE CALL- says that Jeff was down and Anderson won the match. Why are we second-guessing the referee?
3. Tenay (about Jeff Hardy and his match against Anderson)- “He’s trying to get a win here against Mr. Anderson. One; for pride and two; to qualify for Open Fight Night one week from tonight.” So what you are saying is that Jeff Hardy wants to win this match both to prove that he is the better wrestling and to earn the shot at the World Heavyweight Title that comes with winning this match? NO SH*T, SHERLOCK!
4. Taz says that the rivalry between Hardy and Anderson has developed “over the past several months”- Months? Try weeks. It has been less than a month. Anderson wasn’t even on TV a few months ago.
