ROH Conquest Tour: Chicago
ROH Conquest Tour: Chicago (3/14/2015)- Chicago, IL
PRE-SHOW BONUS MATCH: Stokely Hathaway vs. Romantic Touch- 1.75/10
But I should give it a dud purely because of Stokely’s gear, which might well have been the most atrocious gear I have ever seen in my life. Also of note is that RT has a lewd new finisher. Or maybe it’s not new and I just haven’t seen it before.
TRUTH MARTINI PROMO- he accepted Cliff Compton’s challenge for a Street Fight tonight on behalf of Jay Lethal, then cut a promo on Will Ferrara on behalf of J. Diesel. This was a win in my book from the very first thing Truth said, which was: â€"Chicago… make some Illi-noise.â€
WIL FERRARA vs. J. DIESEL (w/Truth Martini)- 3/10
Would have been better if Ferrara had actually sold his shoulder at any point in the match after he went shoulder-first into the ringpost.
JIMMY JACOBS (w/BJ Whitmer) vs. ACH (w/Matt Sydal)- 7.5/10
Before the match, Whitmer and Corino had a staredown, and Corino left the announcers’ table angrily. Whitmer then took his spot and yapped for a bit until Sydal came over and Whitmer let Sydal do commentary after asking a few snarky questions at him.
The match was great told a good story with ACH learning from Jacobs’ moves.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Jacobs wants to shake hands but Whitmer doesn’t think AC deserves it. They argue about it, with Jimmy saying that ACH has earned his respect and that ACH belongs in ROH. Another one of those moments that makes you realize what ROH is losing in Jimmy Jacobs’ signing with WWE.
WINNER GETS AN ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH LATER TONIGHT: Matt Taven vs. Mark Briscoe vs. Roderick Strong vs. Silas Young- 7/10
Corino is back on commentary now. They had your standard spotty four-way. Roddy shakes Silas’ hand at the end. Taven doesn’t because he’s a heel. Mark Briscoe refuses to shake Silas’ hand because Silas was pulling his tights when he pinned him. I hope they’ll come back to this as a singles match (maybe the next time they’re in Chicago), but my confidence in Delirious is waning a bit.
INSTANT REWARD PROVING GROUND STREET FIGHT: ROH TV Champion Jay Lethal (w/the House of Truth) vs. Cliff Compton- 4/10
Well… we’re off to a great start with babyface Compton jumping the heel from behind because Cliff Compton sucks.
They brawl all around the building and it’s not interesting. Lethal whips Compton with his belt. Then Lethal gets his clothes all ripped off. Then Truth tries to throw Lethal his belt (pants belt, not title belt), but his aim is almost as bad as Brooke Tessmacher’s, so he winds up throwing it right to Compton instead (yes, they actually ripped off a spot from that atrocious Aces & Eights final match), who whipped Lethal with it.
They did a bit more stuff with the House of Truth interfering and Lethal eventually getting the win because of it. This stunk. If this is the best Compton can do even with the benefit of plunder and the whole dog and pony show that is the House of Truth, then he just plain doesn’t belong in ROH.
I don’t know what sort of dirt Cliff Compton has on Delirious that allows him to keep getting booked every year despite failing to get over the past two runs ROH has brought him in for, but it’s time for Delirious to take one for the team and let Cliff reveal this deep dark secret so that us loyal fans of ROH never have to sit through another horrible Cliff Compton match ever again.
BEER CITY BRUISER vs. CHEESEBURGER- 5.5/10
First Cliff Compton and now the Beer City Bruiser? You know what, ROH? You can go f*ck right off.
Look… the Beer City Bruiser tries hard. He really does. And it’s not like he’s bad in the ring, either. It’s just that he’s a dumb one-note character with no potential to ever go anywhere, and the announcers spend the whole match talking about how bad he smells. There are just so many other guys I’d rather see in ROH.
TOMMASO CIAMPA AND SILAS YOUNG SEGMENT- okay. I think it would have been better if the announcers had put more focus on the fact that Ciampa WANTED to fight, even with an injury that was keeping him out of action, but he couldn’t because the referees got in the way and even accidentally hurting a referee would land him in deep trouble with management because of his probation.
ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Jay Briscoe(c) vs. Silas Young- 6/10
Apparently this was officially â€"Proving Ground Instant Reward Match for the Ring of Honor World Championship.†And I don’t know if the fault the confusion here lies with Delirious or if Scarlett screwed up, but I’m going to place the blame on Delirious for making this sh*t needlessly complicated with this whole dumb â€"instant reward†deal. Just have the earlier match be for a shot at the ROH World Title and have this match just be announced as a normal ROH World Title match, which is what it was.
The match itself was extremely disappointing. We all knew there was no chance Jay was losing the title, the way they set this up but Jay the babyface, at a huge advantage because he was fresh while Silas had already wrestled. Why not just stick Jay in the earlier four way and make it non-title, then stick one of those guys in a different spot (like replacing Cheeseburger against Beer City Bruiser?).
INSTANT REWARD PROVING GROUND MATCH: ROH World Tag Team Champions reDRagon vs. Roppongi Vice- 7.5/10
Well… Roppongi Vice did get new music. That was quick. Well… not â€"new†music so much as more lyrics… but it’s still surprisingly quick. Also, their music ends with a PWG/Best Friends/Chuck Taylor reference!
The first part of this match was very boring simply because it was just Roppongi Vice repeating the same antics that I have been sick and tired of watching Forever Hooligans do. This is the sort of thing absolutely kills my ability to be excited for Roppongi Vice because they’re not Roppongi Vice. They’re just Forever Hooligans with a different guy. Why not just dress Barreta up in Alex Koslov’s old gear while you’re at it?
Once they stopped being Forever Hooligans and started being Roppongi Vice, things got good, but as it almost always does, this â€"Instant Reward†deal creates an unwelcome interruption in a match that would have been much better if it had been allowed to be one simple match instead of this dumb concept match that requires beating the champions before anyone will actually start to care about the pinfalls. It’s just so pointless. The finish they did already builds towards a rematch without beating the champs, so why beat them if you don’t have to. Then again, the champs would go on to lose their belts in less than a month, and RPG Vice haven’t been back since so why do something that builds to a rematch that will never happen?
SAMOA JOE vs. MICHAEL ELGIN- 7.5/10
This was really disappointing. I will admit that I went into it with VERY high expectations, but I think that pretty much everyone did, and this match didn’t come anywhere near living up to them. This is what happens when a dream match doesn’t live up to the dream.
This was a very disappointing show from ROH. I’m not going to call it bad because it certainly wasn’t. It was a very good show, but between the main event not feeling like it delivered and the fact that this show was quite far below the outstanding quality of basically every other ROH show so far this year, it really feels like a big disappointment.
PRE-SHOW BONUS MATCH: Stokely Hathaway vs. Romantic Touch- 1.75/10
But I should give it a dud purely because of Stokely’s gear, which might well have been the most atrocious gear I have ever seen in my life. Also of note is that RT has a lewd new finisher. Or maybe it’s not new and I just haven’t seen it before.
TRUTH MARTINI PROMO- he accepted Cliff Compton’s challenge for a Street Fight tonight on behalf of Jay Lethal, then cut a promo on Will Ferrara on behalf of J. Diesel. This was a win in my book from the very first thing Truth said, which was: â€"Chicago… make some Illi-noise.â€
WIL FERRARA vs. J. DIESEL (w/Truth Martini)- 3/10
Would have been better if Ferrara had actually sold his shoulder at any point in the match after he went shoulder-first into the ringpost.
JIMMY JACOBS (w/BJ Whitmer) vs. ACH (w/Matt Sydal)- 7.5/10
Before the match, Whitmer and Corino had a staredown, and Corino left the announcers’ table angrily. Whitmer then took his spot and yapped for a bit until Sydal came over and Whitmer let Sydal do commentary after asking a few snarky questions at him.
The match was great told a good story with ACH learning from Jacobs’ moves.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Jacobs wants to shake hands but Whitmer doesn’t think AC deserves it. They argue about it, with Jimmy saying that ACH has earned his respect and that ACH belongs in ROH. Another one of those moments that makes you realize what ROH is losing in Jimmy Jacobs’ signing with WWE.
WINNER GETS AN ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH LATER TONIGHT: Matt Taven vs. Mark Briscoe vs. Roderick Strong vs. Silas Young- 7/10
Corino is back on commentary now. They had your standard spotty four-way. Roddy shakes Silas’ hand at the end. Taven doesn’t because he’s a heel. Mark Briscoe refuses to shake Silas’ hand because Silas was pulling his tights when he pinned him. I hope they’ll come back to this as a singles match (maybe the next time they’re in Chicago), but my confidence in Delirious is waning a bit.
INSTANT REWARD PROVING GROUND STREET FIGHT: ROH TV Champion Jay Lethal (w/the House of Truth) vs. Cliff Compton- 4/10
Well… we’re off to a great start with babyface Compton jumping the heel from behind because Cliff Compton sucks.
They brawl all around the building and it’s not interesting. Lethal whips Compton with his belt. Then Lethal gets his clothes all ripped off. Then Truth tries to throw Lethal his belt (pants belt, not title belt), but his aim is almost as bad as Brooke Tessmacher’s, so he winds up throwing it right to Compton instead (yes, they actually ripped off a spot from that atrocious Aces & Eights final match), who whipped Lethal with it.
They did a bit more stuff with the House of Truth interfering and Lethal eventually getting the win because of it. This stunk. If this is the best Compton can do even with the benefit of plunder and the whole dog and pony show that is the House of Truth, then he just plain doesn’t belong in ROH.
I don’t know what sort of dirt Cliff Compton has on Delirious that allows him to keep getting booked every year despite failing to get over the past two runs ROH has brought him in for, but it’s time for Delirious to take one for the team and let Cliff reveal this deep dark secret so that us loyal fans of ROH never have to sit through another horrible Cliff Compton match ever again.
BEER CITY BRUISER vs. CHEESEBURGER- 5.5/10
First Cliff Compton and now the Beer City Bruiser? You know what, ROH? You can go f*ck right off.
Look… the Beer City Bruiser tries hard. He really does. And it’s not like he’s bad in the ring, either. It’s just that he’s a dumb one-note character with no potential to ever go anywhere, and the announcers spend the whole match talking about how bad he smells. There are just so many other guys I’d rather see in ROH.
TOMMASO CIAMPA AND SILAS YOUNG SEGMENT- okay. I think it would have been better if the announcers had put more focus on the fact that Ciampa WANTED to fight, even with an injury that was keeping him out of action, but he couldn’t because the referees got in the way and even accidentally hurting a referee would land him in deep trouble with management because of his probation.
ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Jay Briscoe(c) vs. Silas Young- 6/10
Apparently this was officially â€"Proving Ground Instant Reward Match for the Ring of Honor World Championship.†And I don’t know if the fault the confusion here lies with Delirious or if Scarlett screwed up, but I’m going to place the blame on Delirious for making this sh*t needlessly complicated with this whole dumb â€"instant reward†deal. Just have the earlier match be for a shot at the ROH World Title and have this match just be announced as a normal ROH World Title match, which is what it was.
The match itself was extremely disappointing. We all knew there was no chance Jay was losing the title, the way they set this up but Jay the babyface, at a huge advantage because he was fresh while Silas had already wrestled. Why not just stick Jay in the earlier four way and make it non-title, then stick one of those guys in a different spot (like replacing Cheeseburger against Beer City Bruiser?).
INSTANT REWARD PROVING GROUND MATCH: ROH World Tag Team Champions reDRagon vs. Roppongi Vice- 7.5/10
Well… Roppongi Vice did get new music. That was quick. Well… not â€"new†music so much as more lyrics… but it’s still surprisingly quick. Also, their music ends with a PWG/Best Friends/Chuck Taylor reference!
The first part of this match was very boring simply because it was just Roppongi Vice repeating the same antics that I have been sick and tired of watching Forever Hooligans do. This is the sort of thing absolutely kills my ability to be excited for Roppongi Vice because they’re not Roppongi Vice. They’re just Forever Hooligans with a different guy. Why not just dress Barreta up in Alex Koslov’s old gear while you’re at it?
Once they stopped being Forever Hooligans and started being Roppongi Vice, things got good, but as it almost always does, this â€"Instant Reward†deal creates an unwelcome interruption in a match that would have been much better if it had been allowed to be one simple match instead of this dumb concept match that requires beating the champions before anyone will actually start to care about the pinfalls. It’s just so pointless. The finish they did already builds towards a rematch without beating the champs, so why beat them if you don’t have to. Then again, the champs would go on to lose their belts in less than a month, and RPG Vice haven’t been back since so why do something that builds to a rematch that will never happen?
SAMOA JOE vs. MICHAEL ELGIN- 7.5/10
This was really disappointing. I will admit that I went into it with VERY high expectations, but I think that pretty much everyone did, and this match didn’t come anywhere near living up to them. This is what happens when a dream match doesn’t live up to the dream.
This was a very disappointing show from ROH. I’m not going to call it bad because it certainly wasn’t. It was a very good show, but between the main event not feeling like it delivered and the fact that this show was quite far below the outstanding quality of basically every other ROH show so far this year, it really feels like a big disappointment.