Welcome to the October 2018 installment of BRM's monthly "This Day in Wrestling History" review series. Because this series has just started this year, that makes today our first-ever October edition... but that isn't the only first of the day, as we are going to be taking our first trip to 2014 and our first trip to England as well, which is appropriate for the first ever match-up between two of wrestling's biggest stars, as Revolution Pro Wrestling presents Okada vs. Aries. I promise that this one will go better than last month's first time ever match-up did.
RPW BRITISH CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH:
Josh Bodom(c) vs. Will Ospreay vs. Rich Swann - 5.75/10
Bodom as being a huge ass and getting both babyfaces' faces and shoving them before the match. Speaking of Bodom and asses, for some reason his tights said "BLISS" on the back of them. I choose to interpret this as him showing his fandom of Alexa Bliss! because everyone should be a fan of Alexa Bliss! because she's awesome.
They babyfaces spent so long on obnoxious gaga in the beginning that I actually popped when Bodom just started punching them. The match was good once they got going, but there were really only about seven or eight minutes of real action due to the gaga in the beginning. The young Mr. Ospreay got a nice pop for winning his first singles title in RevPro.
SHA SAMUELS vs. JOEL REDMAN - 5.75/10
Samuels jumped the bell on Redman. They started to have what looked like it was going to be a mean little wrestling match but then they decided to do some gaga instead. Eventually they got back to wrestling, with Samuels working over Redman's injured leg. Redman made a comeback and hit a SICK That's Incredible for a nearfall. Then Samuels' buddy Terry Frazier came out and got involved, allowing Samuels to take over. Samuels took off Redman's knee brace, which Frazier eventually hit Redman in the head with before Samuels locked in a single-leg crab and got the submission victory. This was yet another match that would have been much better if they hadn't wasted time on silly gaga. Also, it would have been better if the fans hadn't randomly started singing the Fandango song after Samuels took off Redman's knee brace.
MARTIN STONE vs. KARL ANDERSON - 6.75/10
This was fine for the time it got, but these guys getting less than ten minutes is pretty disappointing.
RPW BRITISH HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH:
Marty Scurll(c) vs. Shelton Benjamin - 7.5/10
Ah, the good old days, when Marty Scurll was an actual professional wrestler instead of a walking parody of himself. Scurll and Shelton had a great match based around both men going for their respective submission holds that ended when Shelton got Marty in the ankle lock, but then Sha Samuels ran in for the extremely frustrating DQ. Samuels kept attacking Shelton but Shelton made a comeback and gave Samuels a Piledriver on a very narrow strip of the stage in front of the first row. None of this was ever followed up on. If the guy can't do a clean job then don't book him against your champion. Is it really that hard?
POST-MATCH SEGMENT - FANTASTIC! Marty Scurll cut a GREAT heel promo unleashing his frustrations on the fans for supporting a "joke of a character" like Spud instead of him. Scurll dared Spud to come out and Spud did. They brawled, with Spud coming out on top and Marty running away. Spud then cut a F*CKING AWESOME promo on Scurll and vowed to win his title.
THE HUNTER BROTHERS vs. 2 UNLIMITED - 7/10
An extremely fun and fast-paced high-flying match.
ANDY BOY SIMMONS CALLS OUT BUFF BAGWELL - TERRIBLE! Yes, this really happened. Simmons had been ragging on Buff on commentary, and now he decided to get into the ring and call him out. Buff came out and Andy Boy Simmons blamed Buff for the wrestling business being in such a terrible state. I was fully prepared to make a joke about Simmons not realizing that it was the Bucks killing the business and not the young Buffs (as in people who want to be like Buff Bagwell, but then I realized that this review is part of my "This Day in Wrestling History" review, and therefore, by definition, took place in the past... and in this particular case actually took place BEFORE the Young Bucks had begun to ruin the business (which I date to Final Battle 2014 as the time when they really started to be ridiculous with all of the 90s rip-off stuff. I was in the crowd that night and I did cheer for it and I am ashamed of myself).
Also, Simmons' reason for why Buff killed the business was completely ridiculous. Basically, his argument was that if Buff hadn't been a lead anchor weighing Booker T down in that match on Raw in Tacoma, Vince would have kept WCW separate and thus everything would have been all honky-dory. Either that or he is blaming Buff (and, I guess people like him) for politically sabotaging WCW and thus allowing Vince to buy it, which means no competition which means everything is bad. We've all seen both WWF/E and WCW's capability to sabotage themselves, so blaming Buff is more than a little ridiculous, and when it comes to TNA (which he also blamed Buff for) it's even more ridiculous because there are SOOOOOOOO many people who deserve a lot more blame for that company's failure than Buff, who literally only wrestled for TNA on two house shows and made a handful of TV appearances without ever even wrestling.
Andy Boy then said he was going to slap Buff, said that if Buff's mother were here he would slap her ass, and also that Buff is a prostitute. Then Buff began to talk, and this somehow got worse. Buff informed us all that there is a six-foot height requirement to be a gigolo (which he noted Andy Boy did not meet) and responded to the comments about his mother by saying "at least I have one. If your mother lets you go out with a haircut like that, she sure is a slut." HOW DO THOSE THINGS RELATE IN ANY WAY? Buff then pointed out that the fans all used to turn on their TVs and watch him, "but do you know who they didn't see? You!" Yeah, Buff. Because, like Andy pointed out, he was twelve. Not even in the UK do they let you start wrestling at age twelve.
Buff said he didn't even know what Simmons' name was and bragged about being "part of the trend when wrestling was on top" (well... at least he knows enough not to try to claim that he was anything more than an upper-micarder) and that Simmons was just jealous. Simmons apologized and claimed they would be friends from now on. He even offered to "join your gigolo company" which led to a rather clever "f*ck him up" chant from the crowd. Simmons predictably attacked Buff but Buff quickly made a comeback and took Simmons out. Buff then grabbed a mic and cut a promo on Simmons, making fun of his height and getting the fans to chant "YOU SUCK!" at him.
This was a TERRIBLE segment. It was long, boring, stupid, and Buff only came off as the babyface because Simmons was being such an asshole that Buff's general douchbaggery was made more palatable by comparison. I also couldn't help but notice that seeing Andy Boy Simmons get beaten up by BUFF BAGWELL goes against the theme of patriotism for British wrestling and a new generation that has permeated this show.
KAZUCHIKA OKADA vs. AUSTIN ARIES - 8/10
Both guys worked the head to set up their finishers. Both of these men have charisma shooting out the wazoo and the crowd was extremely hot for it. This was awesome, but that's not quite enough for a dream match.
This was a disappointing show from RevPro. This was pretty much a one-match show, and while that often means that other matches on the card will suffer, I still found the constant disappointment on the undercard to be... well... disappointing. Granted, a lot of it was more from wrestlers wasting time with gaga rather than wrestling, but the DQ in the British Heavyweight Title match didn't help matters, and if the time given to the terrible Bagwell/Simmons segment had been split between the main event and the Anderson vs. Stone match, this show felt like it really could have been something. Hell, maybe even something that would have sped up the rise of the British indies by six months or even year by getting more attention on this show.
But alas, this did not happen, and the main event dream match was disappointing. That makes two straight one-match shows for us and neither have turned out well, so next month's review will be something that (at least according to my memory) was not a one-match show... but even if it is, it's big match is guaranteed to deliver, which I know for certain this time because I've seen it before. But you'll have to wait until next month to find out what it is.