This month BRM's "This Day in Wrestling History" review series jumps to the year 2009; the year I attended my first live wrestling show (ROH Injustice II, and the year I first became a part of the wrestling internet. Specifically, we'll be looking at Dave Prazak and Allison Danger's all-women's promotion SHIMMER for one of one the most critically acclaimed matches in the history of women's wrestling. I know that big dream matches haven't worked out for us the past two times, but this one is fool-proof because I've seen it before and know it rocks. And while the Sara Del Rey vs. Ayako Hamada match is sure to deliver, we also have an entire rest of the card to look forward to, including a big three-way championship main event as we fire up our DVD player for SHIMMER Vol. 28.
"PORTUGUESE PRINCESS" ARIEL vs. MALIA HOSAKA (w/a Lexi Fyfe cut-out on a stick) - 4/10
On commentary, Allison Danger noted that she did not like the smug look on the Lexi Fyfe cut-out's face, saying it looked like she had "a stick up her butt." I giggled. They did comedy with Lexi insisting that she be allowed to tag the cut-out in, and then with Ariel pinning it. Then Malia choked Ariel with the stick right in front of the referee and was not disqualified for this. This silliness ended when referee P.J. Drummond not just ejected "Lexi" from ringside, but carried the cut-out to the back ensure that she left, and the ring announcer even announced that "Lexi Fyfe on a stick has been ejected from ringside."
After their comedy, they had a very meh match. Hosaka was an entertaining heel, but I didn't give one solitary crap about Ariel.
KIMBERLY KASH vs. MELANIE CRUISE- no rating, good squash
Melanie Cruise used her power to dominate Kash, and doing the cocky heel routine while she was at it.
ASHLEY LANE & NEVAEH vs. KACEY DIAMOND & SASSY STEPHIE (w/Mademoiselle Rachelle)- 4.5/10
Basic babyfaces vs. heels tag team stuff.
AMBER GERTNER INTERIVEWS CHEERLEADER MELISSA - Amber has no microphone, the camera is oddly close to them, and will not stay steady. This was all very annoying. Kellie Skater showed up and demanded to know when her interview time was. She told CLM she was "virtually indestructible," so CLM said "we'll see about that in the ring." This... could have been better.
NIKKI ROXX vs. WESNA BUSIC- 6.25/10
Disappointing, considering the talent involved. Actually, any Wensa match in which she doesn't maul someone is disappointing, but this one was even more disappointing because the match barely felt like it had started getting going when the finish came.
RACHEL SUMMERLYN & DAFFNEY SEGMENT - Didn't like it. Daffney walked out on Summerlyn during their tag match on Volume 27, so now she is calling her former mentor out because she wants to know why. Daffney comes out and gets all worked shoot on us, saying that before they met Rachel was nothing more than a deathmatch garbage wrestler, and Rachel came to her to learn "how to work." Daffney says she "tried" but apparently "didn't do a very good job." Daffney took a cheapshot at Rachel and they started to brawl, so a referee came out and this became an official match.
DAFFNEY vs. RACHEL SUMMERLYN - no rating, decent segment.
Daffney quickly got herself DQed for choking Rachel in the ropes and not breaking on five. They kept brawling and Daffney kept choking Rachel. Other referees came out and it took a lot of them to keep Daffney back. Daffney disdainfully said "you'll always be a rookie, Rachel" before heading off.
TENILLE TAYLA & JESSIE MCKAY vs. THE INTERNATIONAL HOMEWRECKING CREW (w/Lacey) - 6.75/10
The Homewreckers are fantastic heels, as they always have been. They even found a way to turn the "wipe your feet before you get into the ring" thing into a way to heel on the crowd. The only flaw in their heel game is that little bit of bouncy dancing they did when they got into the ring seemed way too fun and cool. The ultimate heel move came during Lacey's introduction of her team when she called Rain "the love of my life." JIMMY & LACEY FOREVER, DAMMIT!
The heels won a very fun babyface vs. heels tag team match. The crowd loved the Aussies and hated the Homewreckers, but I just don't see how you can hate the homewreckers. They were so wonderfully willing to be made to look like goofs by the babyfaces. Rain even apparently has a gimmick where ever match she goes for a moonsault and NEVER hits it. After the match, the heels did a purposely terrible job of doing that dance from that one Fresh Prince of Bel Air commercial (I don't know if it has a name, but I'm certain that's where everyone knows it from).
But more importantly, on commentary, Allison Danger appeared to accuse Kellie Skater of taking Kangaroo Growth Hormone. I'm not sure what else "'roo 'roids" could mean. Speaking of Kellie Skater, next we got a...
KELLIE SKATER PROMO - She says she doesn't see why she should be worried about her match tonight. After all, her opponent is just "some cheerleader." Yeah... Kellie's gonna die.
CHEERLEADER MELISSA vs. KELLIE SKATER - no rating, fun murder
The match started with Kellie first getting in Melissa's face and daring Melissa to hit her. Then she started doing push-ups to show off, and then she grabbed CLM's pom-poms and started jumping around with them in a mocking fashion. This is quickly shaping up to be by favorite murder I've ever seen.
When things finally got started (after a lot more stalling by Skater), Kellie slapped Cheerleader Melissa in the face. She's only making things worse for herself at this point.
This really wasn't a squash, as Skater got a fair amount of offense in, but they made clear that she was not close to CLM's level, and once CLM took over for the final time, that was pretty much it for Skater. The biggest spot in the match saw CLM wheelbarrow-whip Skater into the guardrails enough times that I was shocked that there weren't brains all over the floor.
CAT POWER vs. MERCEDES MARTINEZ - 6.5/10
Cat worked the back but Martinez was able to overcome it and win. This was a fine showing for Cat against a main event star.
ALLISON DANGER vs. NICOLE MATTHEWS - 7/10
Matthews came out with both SHIMMER Tag Team Championship belts because her partner, Portia Perez- who Danger is currently feuding with- supposedly has "swine flu" and thus can't be here tonight. This was a fiery match with a great heel finish that even trouble-shooting referee Daizee Haze couldn't prevent. Matthews cut a quick backstage promo after the match in which she bragged about her victory.
NO DISQUALIFICATIONS, NO COUNT-OUTS MATCH:
Sara Del Rey vs. Ayako Hamada - 9.25/10
I have no memory of Death Rey not using Ride of the Valkyries as her entrance music, but apparently it happened. This match was originally a normal match but after Death Rey got frustrated and then got herself DQed via chairshot, a restart with no DQs or count-outs was agreed to. They then proceeded to have an all-out FIGHT. This match was OUTSTANDING! The best comparison I have for this is 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Sabu from ECW CyberSlam 1996 where it felt like the two competitors were using professional wrestling techniques to have a real fight. There were stories (in this case, mostly each woman working on the other's head), but they almost felt secondary to the pure brutality involved.
THREE-WAY ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE SHIMMER TITLE:
MsChif(c) vs. LuFisto vs. Amazing Kong - 8.25/10
This was a match of firsts. The first of these firsts was the fact that this was the first three-way for the SHIMMER Title (in SHIMMER, anyway, I have some vague memories of a women's three-way on ROH PPV but I'm not sure if the belt was on the line or not). They told a story of the two smaller women trying to work together to take out the giant, but that ended when said giant eliminated LuFisto leaving us with Kong vs. MsChif. From there we got a battle of big moves and kicks-outs, including Kong becoming the first person to kick out of the Desecrator, and ending with MsChif retaining her title by becoming the first person to pin Amazing Kong in SHIMMER.
This was an awesome show from SHIMMER. Yes, it was mostly on the strength of the last two matches, but the rest of the show was a fun watch. Speaking of fun, next month we'll be getting into the holiday spirit with a show whose name promises much fun. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint.