WWE SummerSlam 2013

WWE SummerSlam 2013WWE SummerSlam 2013

By Big Red Machine
From August 18, 2013
Discussion

WWE Summer Slam 2013 (8/18/2013)- Los Angeles, CA

PRE-SHOW:
OMFG SHAWN MICHAELS HAS AN ERIC YOUNG BEARD!
I barely even recognized him!

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: Dean Ambrose(c) vs. Rob Van Dam-6/10
Was going fine until the DQ finish. It would have been fine if they were going to have the tag team title match start immediately after this, but having Show and Henry come out and have the Shield interfere anyway just made the babyfaces look like ineffective goofs.

MAIN SHOW:
The Miz welcomes us to Summer Slam. He tries to say something but is interrupted by Fandango and Summer Rae dancing. Then they just cut to the opening video package. That was pointless.

RING OF FIRE MATCH: Kane vs. Bray Wyatt (w/The Wyatt Family)- 4/10
Apparently there are no DQ’s in this match. Huh. So the Wyatt family found a way into the ring, and they can just beat Kane up? That’s pretty lame. I was hoping they would actually make Bray himself look dangerous here, but instead he just a guy a who happens to have two big strong dangerous guys following him. The Wyatt family then sandwich Kane’s head with the ring steps after the match, then drag him off.

DAMIEN SANDOW PROMO- good

DAMIEN SANDOW vs. CODY RHODES- 4.25/10
I was very disappointed by this match. These guys didn’t get anywhere near the time they should have gotten. This should have been their chance to just go out there and prove that they are ready for that next step by putting on a main event quality match. This should have been remembered as the night these two guys broke out as singles competitors. Instead, this match will be remembered as the night that Sandow kicked out of the Muscle Buster (Samoa Joe is gonna be PISSED)... that is, if it is even remembered at all.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Alberto Del Rio(c) vs. Christian- 7.5/10
Del Rio insists that Lillian introduce him only in Spanish. This would have been a great idea if there were in a city that didn’t have a HUGE Hispanic population. Great storytelling in here and great selling by Christian. GREAT match!

ALBERTO DEL RIO PROMO- now he’s trying to be the Next Big Latino Hero again. WTF?!

MARIA MENOUNOS PROMO- decent. Then for the second time tonight. Fandango and Summer Rae showed up for no reason and just started dancing. Then Miz and Menounos started dancing. People booed.

NATALYA (w/the Funkadactyls) vs. BRIE BELLA (w/Nikki Bella & Eva Marie)- 4/10
If they did the Access match (Nattie & Menounos vs. Nikki Bella & Eva Marie), what is the purpose of doing this match? Especially if Nattie is going to over in both! The fans cared about this match so much that they chanted for all of the announcers and then started an entirely random “we want tables!” chant and a “we want Ryder!” chant.

RYBACK BULLIES SOMEONE IN CATERING- this was dumb. Ryback complains that his soup is cold. The worker points out that it is supposed to be cold because it is gazpacho soup. Ryback responds by saying “I knew that.” Then he dumps soup on the pour guy. THIS IS A PAY-PER-VIEW! Don’t waste time with dumb, pointless sh*t like this!

NO DISQUALIFICATIONS MATCH: CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman)- a PERFECT 10/10
I F*CKING HATE PAUL HEYAMN! HEYMAN MUST DIE!
THIS MATCH WAS FAN-F*CKING-TASTIC! Amazing storytelling, awesome selling, tons of awesome nearfalls, and an awesome finish. Punk’s biting did a great job of getting over how desperate he is. BRUTAL stuff here. A real fight. Both guys looked extremely tough, but you still got that feeling that the next move could be the finish. Heyman got what he deserved, but I’m still pissed at him for costing Punk the match anyway. How the hell am I supposed to have any energy left for the main event after this?!

MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH: Dolph Ziggler & Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee & Big E. Langston- 4.5/10
Another match that I wish they had given more time to. I thought that AJ giving Ziggler a low blow to lead into the Big Ending would have been a much better finish here, but I guess they want to end the feud here.

WWE TITLE MATCH WITH TRIPLE H AS THE SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: John Cena(c) vs. Daniel Bryan- 8.75/10
MASSIVE pop for Dragon, even more boos than usual for Cena. The crowd is probably about 95-5 in favor of Dragon. The match was awesome, but I was expecting more. I thought Dragon making Cena tap would have made a lot more sense with the story they were telling… but anyway…
*runs around the room jumping up and down like a five year old*
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

HUNTER TUNRS HEEL AND ORTON CASHES IN ON DRAGON- no rating. Okay segment.
Obviously this got as lot of heat, so I can’t actually call it a bad segment, but I think that WWE really screwed up here. If Orton was going to win the cash-in match like that with no fight, Hunter should have turned on Dragon right away. Have Cena stay unconscious selling the knee strike, and have Hunter attack Dragon almost immediately after the end of the match. He can wait till Dragon is looking away first, but the key here is to NOT LET DRAGON GET TO HOLD THE BELT UP! The way they did it certainly feels unfair to Dragon, but it doesn’t feel like they really stole his moment. He got to hold the belt up triumphantly, he got to look into the camera and say “Mom and dad! I did it!” He got his confetti and fireworks. He got his moment, and thus, whenever he wins the belt back from the new Corporation or whatever this McMahons & Orton group is going to be called, it won’t mean quite as much. If you are going to screw someone, screw ‘em HARD.

Overall, a great show from WWE. They threw away most of the card (even cancelled the tag title match) for the sake of the top three matches, but those matches all paid off enough to make it feel worthwhile.

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