WWE Wrestlemania XXII
Let's see if my favorite Pay Per View of my relatively younger days holds up.
I always thought the WM22 set (the pictures of all the wrestlers hung up all over the arena) was one of the coolest, something that really captured the all encompassing feel of Wrestlemania.
-Any highlight video is made better by "I Dare You To" by Shinedown
-I forgot how terrifying Kurt Angle was
-I forgot how awesome young heel Randy was
-"Big Time" by Peter Gabriel should, by and large, be the universal theme of Wrestlemania
Carlito and Chris Masters vs Kane and Big Show for the World Tag Titles.
-Carlito did this weird "seize up and fall down" thing on the ramp for his entrance, huh.
-That may heve been the most annoyed series of "boo"s I've ever heard when Chris Masters' theme cued up.
-Masters' pyro was always cool, especially having seen it live.
- Kane and Big Show's theme may have been the most piss poor attempt at a mix theme I've ever heard, Big Show's intro with Kane's theme.
-I'm glad Big Show took time off to get into shape because he looks terrible here.
-The crowd maked for a Kane dropkick and the Big Show chop.
-Yeah Carlito, a wrist lock on Big Show will work.
-Carlito got thrown out of the ring into Masters, but Masters didn't catch him AT ALL, so they actually did bump into each other.
-Masters hits Carlito by accident whule he's prone for a chokeslam, so Kane goes through the chokeslam set up again, sigh
5.35/10 for some solid team work from Masters and Carlito, but not the best opener.
Interview with Shawn Micheals- Great. Not your average Shawn interview, he wants to be the crap out of Vince McMahon, no finess says Shawn.
Money in the Bank match, Shelton Benjamin vs Matt Hardy vs Ric Flair vs Lashley vs RVD vs Finlay.
I love the diversity of the contesants in this particular MiTB
-I'm glad they acknowledge that RVD crossbodying himself onto a dude holding a ladder was dumb.
-Shelton's huge ass senton. And Shelton was never a main eventer....why???
-Flair takes a suplex off the ladder and the ref's throw up the 'X'
-RVD must've been high if he ever thought a Rolling Thunder on the ladder was a good idea.
-Props to Shelton for selling the s**t out of Lashley's punches. Also it took three dudes to powerbomb Lashley off a ladder, Lashley looked like a beast.
-Finlay had some cool spots, used the ladder like a freaking weapon, not a stunt prop.
-Flair hobbles back in, and it pans to Finlay shaking his head, awesome.
-Shelton took a super cool over the top rope bump for a Flair chop.
-Flair got all of two spots in and now the breifcase is swinging around
-The Side Effect was always a cool signature
-Obligatory pointless Five Star Splash from off a high place woooooo
-Shelton Benjamin jumping from off camera onto the ladder was great, props to the camera crew
-Yayyyyy two ladders spots, my favorite.
-Van Dam just pushed Hardy and Benjamin off the ladders out to the ring and probably killed them.
-They pan to the HOTTEST girl with an "I heart RVD" sign. Call me?
Josh Matthews w/ mullet interviews Gene Oakerlund and Randy Orton
-Gene tells us he got super drunk last night and Orton shows up and offends Gene so he leaves.
-Orton cuts a great promo calling Rey a charity case and Kurt Angle a paper champ
-Suddenly Batista, who hypes up his return (boooo)
-Howard Finkel announces that Bret Hart won't be at the Hall of Fame presentation thing because (Bret's a giant weenie in this reviewer's opinion)
-Tony Atlas looks in fantastic shape
-Verne must be 100 years old in this show
-Eddie's induction got a heart wrenching pop, especially with Chavo pointing up, and them cutting the music.
JBL w/ a super hot Jillian vs Chris Benoit for the US Championship
-Apparently you can heal from a broken hand in three days.
-If JBL beats Chris Benoit he'll be the greatest technical wrestler of all time. Hokey dokey man, whatever you say.
-Lol at Jillian selling Benoit's chops despite not being hit with them
-Let me just say, I think all the stuff they did with Eddie post-life was great. Was it in poor taste? Yes. Did it generate heat and get people over? It did. Which is why I thought both sets of Three Amigos by Benoit and JBL were great.
5.45/10 for a cheap JBL win and otherwise an average match.
Mick Foley vs Edge w/ Lita, Hardcore match (AKA the first time NWK saw a flaming table and lost his mind)
-The live sex celebration was, in retrospect, so bad that it was great.
-Heel Edge, in general, was amazing
-The highlight of the video package was Edge calling Foley a Muppet.
-Lawler screws up and says Joey Styles is losing his virginity tonight.
-Styles makes a point about Foley's dark flannell. Problem is you can see not only the red flannell, but the Cactus Jack shirt that was suppose d to be the big reveal.
-Speaking of Mick Foley wrapped hikmself in barbed wire duuuuude.
-Edge is now currently sporting a cut on his shoulder that looks like a bullet wound.
-Lita smacked her head something dierce on the ring apron during the three person Cactus Clothesline spot.
-Only Edge and Foley could do a "brual version of a hip toss.
-I miss the big Beat Head spots,
-That barbed wire was legit, there's no way Foley could've gigged that quickly.
-Edge takes a sick shirtless Thumb tack spot.
-Props to Lita for taking a barbed wire Socko spot.
-Edge seelling extreme pain, whteher it be with spasams or the screams of pain is amazing
-That wasn't a knee shot with the barbed wire Stules, that was a nut shot.
-Fact: Lita broke character and almost threw up after the flaming table spot.
9.25/10, for the most minor of hiccups, would've been a solid 9 if not for Edge's selling at the end, one of the few Hardcore matches I'd sit through all the way through any day.
We get a dumb "Booker T gets freaked out by all the dumb WWE characters, including Pirate Paul Burchill (!) and Goldust dressed as Oprah, and Mae Young having foot sex with Snitsky
Funny segment, but really dumb all the same.
Booker T and Sharmell vs The Boogeyman
-Booker T's pyro goes off without him signalling for it, which makes Boogeyman some sort of wizard, or some guy in the production truck is a sadist.
-Best sign of the night "I paid $800 to see The Boogeyman" R.D Reynolds is that you?
-Normally I hate the cowardly heel, but honestly if I were a fighting a dude who ate worms and thought he was the Boogeyman, I'd be cowardly too.
-The red sulfur s**t makes the lighting really bizarre
-Tazz apparently doesn't know his colors, as he confused "red" for "pink" smoke.
Booker T took a slow jog into the post
-Props to Sharmell facial selling fear, she gets a big worm kiss and runs off.
3/10, for Booker clearly not giving a f**k and Boogeyman being the worst wrestler trained since JYD.
Trish Stratus vs Mickie James for the WWE Women's title
-Mickie James is probably the best "character" as far as WWE Divas are concerned, besides maybe AJ Lee.
-Jerry goes into this tirade about Mickie being unbalanced and Jim Ross exasperatedly goes, "You'd date her"
-Ross then follows that gem up with, "She's a little old for you Jerry, she's in her early 20s."
-Mickie does a splits thing and it looked painful as hell.
-If only Trish encoporated a Spine buster into her moveset
-VAGINA GRAB
- "The nut job has won the title" way to be PC J.R
7/19 for an above average women's match.
-We get Vince Mcmahon's scary abs and a McMahon family prayer.
-I'm sure this family prayer was used against Linda in the Senate race.
Undertaker vs Mark Henry, Casket Match
-The World's Strongest Man, featuring Jobber Rock
-Nice tocuh having Mark Henry jump the Undertaker while he put away his hat/jacket. I always wondered why no one ambushes Taker during his entrance.
-Henry not going off his feet for a whole bunch of time reminds me of a bad 1980s WWF match.
-We get an impossible Last Ride and the first Deadman Dive.
6.25/10, not as great as current Taker matches, but not a bad one.
-Vince McMahon fired an entire audience once.
-YEAH, relive dat 1997 Vinnie Mac
-Dat Trampoline clothesline though
-Yay Ass Kiss Club (not)
Shawn Micheals vs Mr.McMahon
-Vince McMahon may be the most entertaining person in wrestling.
-Jim Ross has been in board room meetings in Hell?
-That Muscle and Fitness is cover is amazing if for nothing else than his comedic value.
-Classic Pissed off Jim Ross commentary here "Hit him in the head with it and stick it up his ass*
-Hooray for the Spirit Squad
-That dude (Johnny?) doing the "hurt butt dog scoot" is amazing.
-Kenny went all out for a swanton into the rest of the Spirit Squad
-I don't know if I'm just noticing it here, but McMahon's facial selling is gold.
-Speaking of gold Shane McMahon appearance so yay!
-The crowd popped way too hard for the Shane McMahon ass spot. "Shane's getting his face shoved up his Daddy's crack!"
-Vince took a sick ass ladder bump and is gushing blood
-That Ladder dive is amazing, and the most Wrestlemania-y Wrestlemania moment of modern times.
Jim Ross: "I am not a McMahon fan"
Jerry Lawler: Really?
McMahon flipping off HBK on the stretcher was kinda dumb, but funny anyway
8.25/10 great match
-First of all, why would you ever you put your title opportunity on the line?
-It also pisses me off when the Royal Rumble winner isn't actually in the main main event.
Rey Mysterio vs Kurt Angle vs Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight Title
-I didn't know Konnan was the lead singer of POD.
-In all seriousness a great live performance by POD.
-Stupid Rey headress
-Nice heel move by Orton, mmediatelly hitting Kurt with the belt
-HOORAY Triple Threat spots, Rey in particular got height on the German Suplex.
_I think it takes a special person to sell the RKO right, Kurt Angle and Ted Dibiase Jr have it
-Rey jumping on the referee to break up the pin was an awesome little spot.
-Rey winning the Rumble, regardless of how you though the Eddie angle was a beautiful moment
8.75/10 because Triple Threat spots
-I like that John Cena vs HHH was a "Rich vs Poor" storyline
-Jim Ross and the King run down the match like two professionals sportscasetrs, which makes them great.
Playboy Pillow Fight
Candice vs Torrie
no rating. Now excuse me while I drool over Candice Michelle :ymblushing:
-As much as I despised Cena in my youth, this actually may have been his best period, as he was actually the underdog going in here.
-All hail.....the dumbest Conan the Barbarian Titantron eever, although this Triple H overall is pretty damned Metal. He even has a Mijoinir (Thor's hammer)
-Cena's gangster entrance was cool, except he looked really dumb in a suit coat and ballin shorts
At one point Jim Ross calls out the smarks, saying that Cena isn't a bad wrestler, just unorthodox which I agree with.
-This match suffers from "Put on an 80s NWA Title match in a card full of spots* syndrome thusfar.
-Cena kicks out of a sledgehammer shot booo
-They pan to some confused mark when HHH tapped out.
4.25/10 for being super generic.
So, overall, great PPV with very few duds and a below average main event.
I always thought the WM22 set (the pictures of all the wrestlers hung up all over the arena) was one of the coolest, something that really captured the all encompassing feel of Wrestlemania.
-Any highlight video is made better by "I Dare You To" by Shinedown
-I forgot how terrifying Kurt Angle was
-I forgot how awesome young heel Randy was
-"Big Time" by Peter Gabriel should, by and large, be the universal theme of Wrestlemania
Carlito and Chris Masters vs Kane and Big Show for the World Tag Titles.
-Carlito did this weird "seize up and fall down" thing on the ramp for his entrance, huh.
-That may heve been the most annoyed series of "boo"s I've ever heard when Chris Masters' theme cued up.
-Masters' pyro was always cool, especially having seen it live.
- Kane and Big Show's theme may have been the most piss poor attempt at a mix theme I've ever heard, Big Show's intro with Kane's theme.
-I'm glad Big Show took time off to get into shape because he looks terrible here.
-The crowd maked for a Kane dropkick and the Big Show chop.
-Yeah Carlito, a wrist lock on Big Show will work.
-Carlito got thrown out of the ring into Masters, but Masters didn't catch him AT ALL, so they actually did bump into each other.
-Masters hits Carlito by accident whule he's prone for a chokeslam, so Kane goes through the chokeslam set up again, sigh
5.35/10 for some solid team work from Masters and Carlito, but not the best opener.
Interview with Shawn Micheals- Great. Not your average Shawn interview, he wants to be the crap out of Vince McMahon, no finess says Shawn.
Money in the Bank match, Shelton Benjamin vs Matt Hardy vs Ric Flair vs Lashley vs RVD vs Finlay.
I love the diversity of the contesants in this particular MiTB
-I'm glad they acknowledge that RVD crossbodying himself onto a dude holding a ladder was dumb.
-Shelton's huge ass senton. And Shelton was never a main eventer....why???
-Flair takes a suplex off the ladder and the ref's throw up the 'X'
-RVD must've been high if he ever thought a Rolling Thunder on the ladder was a good idea.
-Props to Shelton for selling the s**t out of Lashley's punches. Also it took three dudes to powerbomb Lashley off a ladder, Lashley looked like a beast.
-Finlay had some cool spots, used the ladder like a freaking weapon, not a stunt prop.
-Flair hobbles back in, and it pans to Finlay shaking his head, awesome.
-Shelton took a super cool over the top rope bump for a Flair chop.
-Flair got all of two spots in and now the breifcase is swinging around
-The Side Effect was always a cool signature
-Obligatory pointless Five Star Splash from off a high place woooooo
-Shelton Benjamin jumping from off camera onto the ladder was great, props to the camera crew
-Yayyyyy two ladders spots, my favorite.
-Van Dam just pushed Hardy and Benjamin off the ladders out to the ring and probably killed them.
-They pan to the HOTTEST girl with an "I heart RVD" sign. Call me?
Josh Matthews w/ mullet interviews Gene Oakerlund and Randy Orton
-Gene tells us he got super drunk last night and Orton shows up and offends Gene so he leaves.
-Orton cuts a great promo calling Rey a charity case and Kurt Angle a paper champ
-Suddenly Batista, who hypes up his return (boooo)
-Howard Finkel announces that Bret Hart won't be at the Hall of Fame presentation thing because (Bret's a giant weenie in this reviewer's opinion)
-Tony Atlas looks in fantastic shape
-Verne must be 100 years old in this show
-Eddie's induction got a heart wrenching pop, especially with Chavo pointing up, and them cutting the music.
JBL w/ a super hot Jillian vs Chris Benoit for the US Championship
-Apparently you can heal from a broken hand in three days.
-If JBL beats Chris Benoit he'll be the greatest technical wrestler of all time. Hokey dokey man, whatever you say.
-Lol at Jillian selling Benoit's chops despite not being hit with them
-Let me just say, I think all the stuff they did with Eddie post-life was great. Was it in poor taste? Yes. Did it generate heat and get people over? It did. Which is why I thought both sets of Three Amigos by Benoit and JBL were great.
5.45/10 for a cheap JBL win and otherwise an average match.
Mick Foley vs Edge w/ Lita, Hardcore match (AKA the first time NWK saw a flaming table and lost his mind)
-The live sex celebration was, in retrospect, so bad that it was great.
-Heel Edge, in general, was amazing
-The highlight of the video package was Edge calling Foley a Muppet.
-Lawler screws up and says Joey Styles is losing his virginity tonight.
-Styles makes a point about Foley's dark flannell. Problem is you can see not only the red flannell, but the Cactus Jack shirt that was suppose d to be the big reveal.
-Speaking of Mick Foley wrapped hikmself in barbed wire duuuuude.
-Edge is now currently sporting a cut on his shoulder that looks like a bullet wound.
-Lita smacked her head something dierce on the ring apron during the three person Cactus Clothesline spot.
-Only Edge and Foley could do a "brual version of a hip toss.
-I miss the big Beat Head spots,
-That barbed wire was legit, there's no way Foley could've gigged that quickly.
-Edge takes a sick shirtless Thumb tack spot.
-Props to Lita for taking a barbed wire Socko spot.
-Edge seelling extreme pain, whteher it be with spasams or the screams of pain is amazing
-That wasn't a knee shot with the barbed wire Stules, that was a nut shot.
-Fact: Lita broke character and almost threw up after the flaming table spot.
9.25/10, for the most minor of hiccups, would've been a solid 9 if not for Edge's selling at the end, one of the few Hardcore matches I'd sit through all the way through any day.
We get a dumb "Booker T gets freaked out by all the dumb WWE characters, including Pirate Paul Burchill (!) and Goldust dressed as Oprah, and Mae Young having foot sex with Snitsky
Funny segment, but really dumb all the same.
Booker T and Sharmell vs The Boogeyman
-Booker T's pyro goes off without him signalling for it, which makes Boogeyman some sort of wizard, or some guy in the production truck is a sadist.
-Best sign of the night "I paid $800 to see The Boogeyman" R.D Reynolds is that you?
-Normally I hate the cowardly heel, but honestly if I were a fighting a dude who ate worms and thought he was the Boogeyman, I'd be cowardly too.
-The red sulfur s**t makes the lighting really bizarre
-Tazz apparently doesn't know his colors, as he confused "red" for "pink" smoke.
Booker T took a slow jog into the post
-Props to Sharmell facial selling fear, she gets a big worm kiss and runs off.
3/10, for Booker clearly not giving a f**k and Boogeyman being the worst wrestler trained since JYD.
Trish Stratus vs Mickie James for the WWE Women's title
-Mickie James is probably the best "character" as far as WWE Divas are concerned, besides maybe AJ Lee.
-Jerry goes into this tirade about Mickie being unbalanced and Jim Ross exasperatedly goes, "You'd date her"
-Ross then follows that gem up with, "She's a little old for you Jerry, she's in her early 20s."
-Mickie does a splits thing and it looked painful as hell.
-If only Trish encoporated a Spine buster into her moveset
-VAGINA GRAB
- "The nut job has won the title" way to be PC J.R
7/19 for an above average women's match.
-We get Vince Mcmahon's scary abs and a McMahon family prayer.
-I'm sure this family prayer was used against Linda in the Senate race.
Undertaker vs Mark Henry, Casket Match
-The World's Strongest Man, featuring Jobber Rock
-Nice tocuh having Mark Henry jump the Undertaker while he put away his hat/jacket. I always wondered why no one ambushes Taker during his entrance.
-Henry not going off his feet for a whole bunch of time reminds me of a bad 1980s WWF match.
-We get an impossible Last Ride and the first Deadman Dive.
6.25/10, not as great as current Taker matches, but not a bad one.
-Vince McMahon fired an entire audience once.
-YEAH, relive dat 1997 Vinnie Mac
-Dat Trampoline clothesline though
-Yay Ass Kiss Club (not)
Shawn Micheals vs Mr.McMahon
-Vince McMahon may be the most entertaining person in wrestling.
-Jim Ross has been in board room meetings in Hell?
-That Muscle and Fitness is cover is amazing if for nothing else than his comedic value.
-Classic Pissed off Jim Ross commentary here "Hit him in the head with it and stick it up his ass*
-Hooray for the Spirit Squad
-That dude (Johnny?) doing the "hurt butt dog scoot" is amazing.
-Kenny went all out for a swanton into the rest of the Spirit Squad
-I don't know if I'm just noticing it here, but McMahon's facial selling is gold.
-Speaking of gold Shane McMahon appearance so yay!
-The crowd popped way too hard for the Shane McMahon ass spot. "Shane's getting his face shoved up his Daddy's crack!"
-Vince took a sick ass ladder bump and is gushing blood
-That Ladder dive is amazing, and the most Wrestlemania-y Wrestlemania moment of modern times.
Jim Ross: "I am not a McMahon fan"
Jerry Lawler: Really?
McMahon flipping off HBK on the stretcher was kinda dumb, but funny anyway
8.25/10 great match
-First of all, why would you ever you put your title opportunity on the line?
-It also pisses me off when the Royal Rumble winner isn't actually in the main main event.
Rey Mysterio vs Kurt Angle vs Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight Title
-I didn't know Konnan was the lead singer of POD.
-In all seriousness a great live performance by POD.
-Stupid Rey headress
-Nice heel move by Orton, mmediatelly hitting Kurt with the belt
-HOORAY Triple Threat spots, Rey in particular got height on the German Suplex.
_I think it takes a special person to sell the RKO right, Kurt Angle and Ted Dibiase Jr have it
-Rey jumping on the referee to break up the pin was an awesome little spot.
-Rey winning the Rumble, regardless of how you though the Eddie angle was a beautiful moment
8.75/10 because Triple Threat spots
-I like that John Cena vs HHH was a "Rich vs Poor" storyline
-Jim Ross and the King run down the match like two professionals sportscasetrs, which makes them great.
Playboy Pillow Fight
Candice vs Torrie
no rating. Now excuse me while I drool over Candice Michelle :ymblushing:
-As much as I despised Cena in my youth, this actually may have been his best period, as he was actually the underdog going in here.
-All hail.....the dumbest Conan the Barbarian Titantron eever, although this Triple H overall is pretty damned Metal. He even has a Mijoinir (Thor's hammer)
-Cena's gangster entrance was cool, except he looked really dumb in a suit coat and ballin shorts
At one point Jim Ross calls out the smarks, saying that Cena isn't a bad wrestler, just unorthodox which I agree with.
-This match suffers from "Put on an 80s NWA Title match in a card full of spots* syndrome thusfar.
-Cena kicks out of a sledgehammer shot booo
-They pan to some confused mark when HHH tapped out.
4.25/10 for being super generic.
So, overall, great PPV with very few duds and a below average main event.