WWE Wrestlemania XXX
WWE Wrestlemania XXX (4/6/2014)- New Orleans, LA
FOUR WAY ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE WWE TAG TEAM TITLES: The Usos(c) vs. Curtis Axel & Ryback vs. Los Matadores (w/El Torito) vs. The Real Americans (w/Zeb Coulter)- 6.5/10
Torito botched his big spot on the first try. I’m pretty sure Cesaro blocked a superkick by uppercutting the Uso’s leg. Axel and Ryback last long than I thought they would. Very good opener.
After the match, Swagger is angry at Cesaro and puts him in the Patriot Act until Zeb orders him to break it up. Zeb wants a handshake, but Cesaro gives Swagger a big swing and walks off alone.
OPENING HOGAN SEGMENT- He accidentally said that they were in the Superdome, but he recovered spectacularly (Sorry. I was so busy thinking about bodyslamming Andre the Giant… and that’s what all this is about: Wrestlemania memories.†â€"Now that I’ve stood corrected by all my Hulkamaniacsâ€)
AUSTIN COMES OUT!
They jabber back and forth. Austin teases that he will open a can of whoop-ass on Hogan if the people want. They do. Austin doesn’t. That stunk. Austin talks about how many memories Hogan made at a bunch of Wrestlemanias. Blah Blah Bla-
IF YOU SMELL… WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!!
Rocky put them both over, then put over Cena and Dragon (but not by name). Then he cut a hilarious promo, and I’m about 99% sure he dropped an F Bomb.
Anyway, they have a beer bash. This was pretty much just fluff, but it was nice fluff. Rocky’s promo made it worthwhile, though.
WINNER ENTERS THE MAIN EVENT: Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H (w/Stephanie McMahon)- 8.5/10
Hunter’s ridiculous Wrestlemania entrance involved him on a giant throne wearing goofy armor with a bunch of half-clothed blondes attending to him… while his wife is in the ring announcing his entrance. It was just kind of weird.
No special entrance for Dragon at all. That was a good touch.
The match was awesome with fantastic psychology, but we all knew that would be the case going in. Hunter jumps Dragon from behind after the match and destroys his shoulder with a chair and the ringpost.
Did I just see a Mountain Dew commercial in the middle of Wrestlemania?
THE SHIELD vs. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS & KANE- squash
That’s right. A squash. The Shield just kicked their asses with no trouble at all. The finish was a triple powerbomb to both members of the New Age Outlaws at the same time.
VERY OLD MEN PLAYING WITH TOYS- dumb. I can’t believe that these guys agreed to that. Could they really have not found a better use for five WWE Hall of Famers?
ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTTLE ROYALE- 4.5/10
The first guy out was Yoshi Tatsu. Is anyone surprised? Speaking of surprises, neither of the rumored surprise entrants (RVD or Rusev) were in this match. Christian seemed to be missing, too.
The match was just a pretty big clusterduck with some cool spots and an AWESOME finish.
JOHN CENA vs. BRAY WYATT (w/the Wyatt Family)- 7.75/10
They did a good job of telling their story, but the announcers did a poor job of explaining it. I really feel that Cena winning was a huge mistake, especially clean.
At one point when Bray ripped the cover off of the Spanish announce table, Ricardo Rodriguez immediately stood up and pointed over at the French announcers as if to say â€"No! Break their table! Not ours!â€
PRESENTATION OF THE HALL OF CLASS OF 2014-
Warrior seemed genuinely touched. Paul Bearer’s sons kind of look vaguely like Kane. That makes me happy.
THE UNDERTAKER vs. BROCK LESNAR (w/Paul Heyman)- 8.5/10
I think this is one of those moments where everyone watching had the exact same reaction, which the cameras did a fantastic job of capturing on the faces of the fans at the arena.
VICKIE GUERRERO 14 WOMAN DIVAS TITLE INVITATIONAL- 2/10
AJ wins when the only challenger they have actually built up well taps in a fourteen-woman clusterduck.
WRESTLEMANIA ONE NOSTALGIA SEGMENT- LOVED IT!
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Randy Orton(c) vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan- 8.75/10
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
Good overbooking, great false finishes, and most importantly, the finish that needed to happen.
BEST SIGN OF THE NIGHT: â€"If Cena wins, we Wyatt.â€
An absolutely awesome show from WWE, with the main event being a moment that will last a lifetime… which is exactly what the end of a Wrestlemania should be.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Lawler (when Austin was coming down to meet Hogan in the ring) â€"SPECIAL MOMENT! SPECIAL MOMENTâ€
Hey Jerry? You know what makes moments a lot less special? Someone trying to tell me that they are special while they are happening.
FOUR WAY ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE WWE TAG TEAM TITLES: The Usos(c) vs. Curtis Axel & Ryback vs. Los Matadores (w/El Torito) vs. The Real Americans (w/Zeb Coulter)- 6.5/10
Torito botched his big spot on the first try. I’m pretty sure Cesaro blocked a superkick by uppercutting the Uso’s leg. Axel and Ryback last long than I thought they would. Very good opener.
After the match, Swagger is angry at Cesaro and puts him in the Patriot Act until Zeb orders him to break it up. Zeb wants a handshake, but Cesaro gives Swagger a big swing and walks off alone.
OPENING HOGAN SEGMENT- He accidentally said that they were in the Superdome, but he recovered spectacularly (Sorry. I was so busy thinking about bodyslamming Andre the Giant… and that’s what all this is about: Wrestlemania memories.†â€"Now that I’ve stood corrected by all my Hulkamaniacsâ€)
AUSTIN COMES OUT!
They jabber back and forth. Austin teases that he will open a can of whoop-ass on Hogan if the people want. They do. Austin doesn’t. That stunk. Austin talks about how many memories Hogan made at a bunch of Wrestlemanias. Blah Blah Bla-
IF YOU SMELL… WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!!
Rocky put them both over, then put over Cena and Dragon (but not by name). Then he cut a hilarious promo, and I’m about 99% sure he dropped an F Bomb.
Anyway, they have a beer bash. This was pretty much just fluff, but it was nice fluff. Rocky’s promo made it worthwhile, though.
WINNER ENTERS THE MAIN EVENT: Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H (w/Stephanie McMahon)- 8.5/10
Hunter’s ridiculous Wrestlemania entrance involved him on a giant throne wearing goofy armor with a bunch of half-clothed blondes attending to him… while his wife is in the ring announcing his entrance. It was just kind of weird.
No special entrance for Dragon at all. That was a good touch.
The match was awesome with fantastic psychology, but we all knew that would be the case going in. Hunter jumps Dragon from behind after the match and destroys his shoulder with a chair and the ringpost.
Did I just see a Mountain Dew commercial in the middle of Wrestlemania?
THE SHIELD vs. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS & KANE- squash
That’s right. A squash. The Shield just kicked their asses with no trouble at all. The finish was a triple powerbomb to both members of the New Age Outlaws at the same time.
VERY OLD MEN PLAYING WITH TOYS- dumb. I can’t believe that these guys agreed to that. Could they really have not found a better use for five WWE Hall of Famers?
ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTTLE ROYALE- 4.5/10
The first guy out was Yoshi Tatsu. Is anyone surprised? Speaking of surprises, neither of the rumored surprise entrants (RVD or Rusev) were in this match. Christian seemed to be missing, too.
The match was just a pretty big clusterduck with some cool spots and an AWESOME finish.
JOHN CENA vs. BRAY WYATT (w/the Wyatt Family)- 7.75/10
They did a good job of telling their story, but the announcers did a poor job of explaining it. I really feel that Cena winning was a huge mistake, especially clean.
At one point when Bray ripped the cover off of the Spanish announce table, Ricardo Rodriguez immediately stood up and pointed over at the French announcers as if to say â€"No! Break their table! Not ours!â€
PRESENTATION OF THE HALL OF CLASS OF 2014-
Warrior seemed genuinely touched. Paul Bearer’s sons kind of look vaguely like Kane. That makes me happy.
THE UNDERTAKER vs. BROCK LESNAR (w/Paul Heyman)- 8.5/10
I think this is one of those moments where everyone watching had the exact same reaction, which the cameras did a fantastic job of capturing on the faces of the fans at the arena.
VICKIE GUERRERO 14 WOMAN DIVAS TITLE INVITATIONAL- 2/10
AJ wins when the only challenger they have actually built up well taps in a fourteen-woman clusterduck.
WRESTLEMANIA ONE NOSTALGIA SEGMENT- LOVED IT!
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Randy Orton(c) vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan- 8.75/10
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
Good overbooking, great false finishes, and most importantly, the finish that needed to happen.
BEST SIGN OF THE NIGHT: â€"If Cena wins, we Wyatt.â€
An absolutely awesome show from WWE, with the main event being a moment that will last a lifetime… which is exactly what the end of a Wrestlemania should be.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Lawler (when Austin was coming down to meet Hogan in the ring) â€"SPECIAL MOMENT! SPECIAL MOMENTâ€
Hey Jerry? You know what makes moments a lot less special? Someone trying to tell me that they are special while they are happening.