Hunter and Steph run down the Elimination Chamber card and also the Becky Lynch situation. Steph tells us that Becky saw her doctors over the weekend and is about to tell us what the doctors said when Becky Lynch came out. If Becky is going to interrupt them then why didn’t she do it at the beginning? Waiting until the moment she did made it look like she was going out of her way to be an asshole. I don’t care how much people dislike Steph; being an asshole to someone when you have no reason to do so does not make you likable in the slightest.
Michael Cole brought up Becky’s run-ins on Smackdown house shows over the weekend. Corey Graves said he hopes that Hunter and Steph suspend Becky for even longer due to this “insubordination.” Corey Graves’ insistence that Becky actually be punished for her wrong-doings rather than being allowed to get away with them because she is “wildly popular” OUTRAGED Renee Young, who responded by saying “Are you crazy?! This woman has missed opportunities in the past! You think she’s just going to sit down now?!” Just because you have missed out on past opportunities does not give you license to break rules! Renee’s argument is like saying that a baseball player who had to miss a year due to a broken leg shouldn’t be suspended if he’s caught using steroids!
The first thing Becky does when she comes out is tell Steph “I’ll hit you harder next time.” F*ck Becky Lynch vs. Ronda Rousey. At this point I’m more interested in seeing poor Stephanie McMahon get her revenge on this dickhead Becky Lynch. I’m wracking my brain, and I’m having trouble coming up with any sort of kayfabe reason why the current situation between Becky and Steph is any different than the one between Kevin Owens and Shane McMahon in 2017 that led to their Hell in a Cell Match.
So how do the McMahons respond to Becky’s threat? Triple H APOLOGIZES to Becky for calling her scared last week? WHY?! So what if Becky saw her doctors this weekend and WWE’s doctors concurred with Becky’s doctors’ diagnosis that there is no tear or any sort of injury that should keep her out of action. At the moment that Hunter made the accusation, Becky had not seen her doctors, so why is he apologizing? In fact, I’ll do you one better: Becky was refusing to see the doctors before Hunter’s speech, and did go see them afterwards. If I’m supposed to believe that a Triple H speech motivated Seth Rollins to be able to pin Dean Ambrose an earn an IC Title shot, then it seems completely logical as well as on theme (AJ and Vince did a similar segment last month on SD) that Hunter’s speech was, in fact, the thing that motivated Becky to go see the doctor in the first place. And, now that I think about it, if Hunter’s speech didn’t motivate Becky to see the doctor and she was planning on doing so all along (like Hunter seems to be implying) then the only alternative explanation to Becky’s behavior last week was that even though Steph was being completely reasonable, Becky was just being obstinate to the point of violence FOR NO F*CKING REASON!
Hunter and Steph tell us that after a few weeks of rehab Becky will be cleared and be back at 100% so her suspension is over and the WrestleMania match is on… so long as Becky apologizes to them for attacking them for no reason. Steph even points out that they apologized to her (even though, as I noted above, they didn’t need to… although Steph was even diplomatic enough to not bring that part up). Well… this should be easy then. All our babyface needs to do is apologize for attacking innocent people who only had her best interests at heart, and she gets the big title match at WrestleMania that she wants so badly
So how does Becky respond?
“Apologize for what? You wanted me to go to a doctor and I went to a doctor.”
Yes, really. Even after Steph spells out exact what they want Becky to apologize for (“you punched me in the face and you slapped my husband”) this sociopath STILL doesn’t get it! I’m sorry, but if you think Becky Lynch is in any way a babyface at this point, you’re just not watching the show. I’m not saying you can’t cheer for her, but don’t give me any of this bullsh*t that came up after SummerSlam about how Becky is really the babyface here, because she’s not. You can cheer for her because she’s a great worker and a great promo, but the main reason for her support has nothing to do with being a babyface and everything to do with people thinking she has been underpushed. And that’s fine… but then why aren’t you all showing the same level of support to Apollo Crews and Tyler Breeze and Mickie James, who are all also great workers and good promos, and haven’t even been given anything close to what Becky had gotten even before she caught fire over the summer?
Steph tries to be understanding and asks Becky to put her pride aside, but Becky starts threatening her again. Then the floodgates open and we reveal the real problem: Becky doesn’t trust the McMahons because “your whole family has been screwing people over for decades.”
Becky continued, accusing Hunter of “trying to take something from me. You’re trying to take my opportunity to go to WrestleMania.”
Becky ranted some more (even as Hunter pleaded with her to “calm down”) and told Hunter to “take your apology and shove it up your arse. Becky went to leave but Steph finally cracked and got nose to nose with her and started yelling. Hunter got between them and once again called for calm.
Hunter told her she could fight at WrestleMania or she could throw it all away and “fight right now.” He’s giving her until the end of the night to make her decision.
Okay… here is the problem with both this segment and this entire storyline:
Becky’s behavior is supposedly justified by her distrust of the McMahons, but we don’t have any actual evidence that points us to the idea that she shouldn’t trust them. Becky got signed by the McMahons and there was no hint she was mistreated in NXT. She was then brought up to the main roster not off of a recommendation from Regal or the selection of a general manager or any other theoretical mechanism but rather by a royal decree from Stephanie McMahon herself the night Steph declared the Divas’ Revolution. She then wrestled for a while in a three-way feud with Team Bella and Team B.A.D. until she wound up challenging for the championship on her very first WrestleMania. Then she got drafted to Smackdown, which was the “Land of Opportunity” and was run entirely by babyfaces, including Shane McMahon. Even though I will argue that Becky (like everyone in both the SD women’s and tag divisions) got a bunch of opportunities that she didn’t earn (due to lazy booking) the storylines have never been anything other than “Becky (just like everyone else) earned every opportunity she got because (as we condescendingly heard Shane and Bryan say at least once a show) “opportunities are earned here on Smackdown Live.”
Now fast forward to this year. Becky earned a shot at Asuka’s Smackdown Women’s Championship at the Royal Rumble, which she lost cleanly. When Lana was injured and Becky wanted to take her spot in the Royal Rumble, the McMahons could have said “no.” Yes, I know Finlay was the one who made the call there on the spot, but I didn’t see Vince, Shane, Hunter, or Steph come out and overturn the ruling, even though they had ample time to do so, so unless you are going to argue that none of the McMahons were watching one of the biggest matches of the year, it’s hard to argue that their non-interference amounts to anything other than approval of the decision.
So why the hell is Becky so paranoid all of a sudden? We have not seen a shred of evidence that Steph had anything other than Becky’s health and well-being on her mind when she told Becky that she needed to get her knee checked out by a doctor or else she wouldn’t be medically cleared to compete, and Hunter and Stephanie were both much more than reasonable with her in their various segments last week. So what is it that is making Becky Lynch think that the McMahons- who booked her at WrestleMania ever year she has been on the main roster and two of her three years put her in a title match, and who let her enter the Royal Rumble even though they had no reason to do so- are suddenly out to get her?
This idea that the McMahons “have been screwing people over for decades” holds no water. I’m not saying it’s not true, but I am saying that it’s not really relevant here because the McMahons are babyfaces now. Otherwise, every babyface should be completely distrustful of them.
Furthermore, trying to convince the audience that the McMahons are secretly heels now is an utterly terrible decision for the following reason: Less than two months ago, the McMahons came out on Raw and told us all that heel authority figure Baron Corbin denying people opportunities was the reason Raw had been so awful for the past few months. To now tell us that the McMahons are heel authority figures is to tell us that we’re going right back to the bullsh*t that they promised us they were moving away from and which they outright told us made the show bad. In other words, to make the McMahons heel authority figures is to all but tell us that the show is going to get worse so we shouldn’t even bother tuning in.
So if the McMahons aren’t heel authority figures, then the other alternative is, as I stated above, that Becky Lynch is a violent, raving, paranoid lunatic, and that’s pretty much the exact opposite of a babyface.
SASHA & BAYLEY IN-SET PROMO- They happily reminisce about those fun six months last year where they hated each other’s guts and slammed each other’s heads into lockers and brawled all over several major arenas. Fun times, apparently.
NIA & TAMINA IN-SET PROMO- Holy crap they let Tamina speak?! Has she spoken on WWE TV in years?
I thought this promo was actually pretty good. The only parts of it that I didn’t like were the beginning and the end. The problem with the beginning was that it was a catchphrase-heavy WWE word soup promo, but even that I am willing to mostly excuse because it was Nia bringing up the other team’s goofy catchphrases/descriptive idea words that are the only conception creative has of them, so I can almost see it as Nia mocking them. The problem with the lies solely with whoever made the decision to have them say “Samoan Slaughterhouse” in tandem, which took what would have been a violent threat and turned it into a happy catchphrase. But overall, this was a pretty good promo from two women who don’t usually cut good promos.
THE TEAM THAT TAKES THE FALL ENTERS THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER FIRST: Sasha Banks & Bayley vs. Nia Jax & Tamina vs. the Riott Squad (w/Ruby Riott)- 4.5/10
Sasha Banks got shoved into the barricade by Ruby Riott, then hit with a running knee by Sarah Logan and that was enough to force her to get taken away by medical personnel. Corey Graves then went out of his way to point out that when you compare her to Becky Lynch, this makes Sasha Banks look like crap.
We got a tease of Bayley winning on her own but she got nailed with a Tamina superkick after hitting Liv with the Belly-to-Bayley and then squashed by a Nia Jax Samoan Drop, so the babyfaces will enter the Elimination Chamber first. Who could have seen that coming?
THE DRIFTER GETS IGNORED SO WE CAN WATCH BECKY AND BALOR HANG OUT BACKSTAGE- Balor counsels her to apologize, while also cutting a promo on Lashley… seemingly only to show bravado for Becky’s benefit. It seems to have worked (the bravado part, not the apologizing part), as Becky tells him “your abs are so awesome, by the way.” And with that sentence, thousands of fanfic writers began typing furiously.
THE DRIFTER GETS INTERRUPTED BY A SETH ROLLINS VIDEO PACKAGE- Is this some sort of rib on Elias? Why did they send him out here just to have him get interrupted?
THE DRIFTER GETS INTERRUPTED BY LUCHA HOUSE PARTY- TERRIBLE!
From the moment Lucha House Party’s music hit, Michael Cole lasted a grand total of thirteen seconds before telling us that Lucha House Party “loves to have fun.” After Lucha House Party came out, we went to a commercial, meaning that we had an entire segment of the show that was made up entirely of The Drifter getting interrupted. The fans are still reacting to The Drifter like he’s a complete and total babyface. Then poor Kalisto was forced to say “unlike you, the Lucha House Party love entertaining the WWE Universe.”
I’m sorry, but I have to do this. This is not a night on which rants will be bottled up inside of me.
That line was SOOOOO bad on so many levels. The line itself sounds completely goofy and makes the product seem ridiculous and childish to anyone who might be tuning in for the first time. I can’t possibly imagine that anyone thinks this was a good line to say. Not even Vince. My new theory is that Vince knows this stuff is bad for the product but he just doesn’t care because he’s 74 and at this point hearing WWE branding buzzwords said on national television is the only way he can get an erection.
Then there is the fact that they scripted Kalisto to say it despite what should have been an obvious risk of making him seem wrong because based on the fans’ reactions to The Drifter, he was entertaining them. And yes, they should have seen this coming because the fans have been cheering Elias throughout this entire ill-advised heel turn.
But let’s set that aside for now and buy into the storyline like we’re supposed to. If The Drifter does not entertain the WWE Universe, WHY DO THE MCMAHONS SEND HIM OUT HERE TO PLAY HIS GUITAR EVERY F*CKING WEEK?!
It got worse: Kalisto then said that this week, Lucha House Party have decided that they want to “walk with Elias.” In other words, after acknowledging that Elias’ music does not entertain the fans, they are now coming out here to SUPPORT IT.
Lucha House Party then stand by while Elias spends several verses insulting the locals. When he asks Lucha House Party what they thought, they told him they didn’t like it. He challenges them to do better. He gives Kalisto his guitar and Kalisto plays a few chords, although I don’t really think it’s fair to call this doing better than Elias did because Kalisto did not sing at all.
Elias was impressed enough to ask Kalisto to play a duet with him. “Wouldn’t that require two guitars?” you ask. It sure would. But fortunately, there just so happens to be one sitting in a stand in the corner of the ring, which has been there since the start of the segment. Why is that second guitar there?
SHUT UP AND STOP ASKING QUESTIONS, DAMMIT! WE ALREADY GAVE YOUR SHORT INDY DARLINGS THE SMACKDOWN TITLE AND NOW WE’RE LETTING THE REDHEAD WITH THE FUNNY ACCENT INTO THE WRESTLEMANIA MATCH ALONGSIDE FLAIR’S HOT DAUGHTER AND ROUSEY! WHAT MORE DO YOU DAMN SMARKS WANT FROM ME?! (You’re supposed to read that with your best Vince impression, by the way.)
Elias then picked up the other guitar and smashed Kalisto in the back of the head with it, making Kalisto look like a complete and total moron for not seeing this coming when everyone else in the world did. Elias then escaped up the ramp. To make matters even worse, they didn’t even give us any time to focus on this because someone decided that it was more important to show Lashley making his entrance for him watching Finn Balor wrestle an unnamed opponent after this commercial break.
While I stand by everything I said about this being an infuriatingly stupid segment, I do have to grudgingly admit that between the song and the guitar shot, they did actually manage to get the fans to boo The Drifter and even chant “LU-CHA!” at one point, while horrendously stupid, parts of it managed to at least be effective.
When we got back from a commercial break, Lashley’s music was still playing… and instead of said music cutting out for that of Balor or his opponent, instead we got Michael Cole pitching us to a promo by Fire & Desire (Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose) that was then shown on the TitanTron. Even if we ignore why this promo is airing when Mandy & Sonya are on the other show, we still have to ask why Lashley came out so f*cking early. Did he not see that it said that the Mandy & Sonya promo would air before Balor’s match on the run-sheet?
MANDY ROSE & SONYA DEVILLE PROMO- bad
This was a crappier version of a promo they cut on Smackdown last week in which they argued that they were the favorites because unlike most of the others, they had actually been in an Elimination Chamber Match before. Sonya was fine, but Mandy’s part of the promo was made much less intelligent by which ever genius decided that she should point out that not only were the two of them in the first-ever women’s Elimination Chamber Match, but they were also in both the first women’s Royal Rumble and “first” WrestleMania women’s battle royale, diluting an otherwise intelligent point with needless, unrelated crap. Also, the part about how much they’ve “been through together” made them sound way too much like babyfaces.
As a result of defeating Lio Rush last week, Finn Balor will be getting a shot at the IC Title at Elimination Chamber. Said title shot will be in a Handicap Match against both Lashley and Rush because
FINN BALOR vs. DREW MCINTYRE- 0.5/10
Did they ever even mention that Balor’s opponent would be Drew McIntyre? I’m pretty sure they didn’t. And they wonder why they don’t draw good ratings. Another reason why they don’t draw good ratings? Because every time they give you match you really want to see, it ends in an obnoxious DQ. This time the match went a grand total of three minutes and six seconds. The DQ was caused by Lashley interfering, which was the THIRD TIME HE HAD DONE SO IN A THREE-MINUTE MATCH!
POST-MATCH SEGMENT-
The heels beat Balor up. Cole tells us that “McIntyre and Lashley have been running buddies for a long time here on Raw.” They have? I have no memory of them being in a group together. Corey Graves refreshed my memory, telling me that they worked with Corbin to injure Braun… which means that despite the McMahons’ big promises less than two months ago, WE’RE ALREADY BACK TO THE SAME SH*T THAT THEY ACKNOWLEDGED WAS TANKING THE RATINGS!
If you think I’m harping on this “the McMahons promised us things would change and they’re not changing” thing too much, please understand that this is exactly the reason TNA used to get so much hate. WWE would suck, but they wouldn’t ever acknowledge that their product sucked, so it seemed like they just didn’t realize how bad their show was. TNA, on the other hand, would come up with some angle or some situation every eighteen months or so where we would be promised a “new beginning” (which reminds me that I still need to watch New Japan) of some sort where everything would change and that they had heard our voices, etc. etc., but they would always inevitably keep doing the same exact dumb sh*t. That’s what WWE has entered into now. Sucking is bad, but sucking, acknowledging that you suck and promising to change but then not actually changing is f*cking obnoxious, and that’s why I keep harping on this.
Anyway, Kurt Angle came out to make the save, but after suplexing Drew and Lashley and putting Rush in an Angle Lock, he got attacked by Baron Corbin. Braun Strowman then came out for the babyface side and thus turned into yet another Corbin vs. Strowman brawl (again… same old sh*t), and Drew eventually pulled Corbin to safety to stop him from getting with a running powerslam. We went to a commercial, and when we returned, we were in the middle of…
BRAUN STROWMAN, KURT ANGLE, & FINN BALOR vs. DREW MCINTYRE, BARON CORBIN, & BOBBY LASHLEY (w/Lio Rush)- 6.75/10
This match was getting good until we ended with a “Balor getting his foot on the rope but the referee didn’t see it” finish. Then another referee came out to tell the first referee about the foot on the ropes and have the match restarted, as well as to hand him a freshly-opened can of worms.
We got a very long heat segment on Balor until Braun got the hot tag and ran wild. Lashley got pinned by Balor after a running powerslam from Braun and a Coup de Grace. Yes, I realize that the babyface challenger just pinned the heel champion on the go-home show, but the Handicap Match stipulation makes that feel less relevant. I feel like I just wasted half an hour on filler rather than on a go-home segment that actually serves a purpose for the story.
KEVIN OWENS PROMO- DON’T SHOOT PROMOS IN A F*CKING BOWLING ALLEY!
He says he’ll be back in a month. He also says he doesn’t know whether he’ll be on Raw or Smackdown. How does he not know this?! He’s a member of the Raw roster, and the Superstar Shakeup is not until mid-April.
The real news here (other than the timetable for Owens’ return) is that it seems like when he returns, he will be babyface family-man Kevin Owens for the first time in his WWE career.
NIKKI CROSS COMES OUT FOR A MATCH- In the fifty-two seconds she was on screen before we inexplicably cut backstage to Becky Lynch instead of Nikki’s opponent coming out, Renee Young called Nikki “nutso” and “unpredictable” while Michael Cole called her “unstable” and also called her “unpredictable” twice. At that point I wasn’t even angry when they cut away to Becky even though doing so makes no sense because at least it would temporarily spare me Cole and Renee’s thesaurus recital.
CHARLY CARUSO INTERVIEWS BECKY LYNCH- Charly basically asks Becky “how do you plan to explain to all of your fans that they’re not going to get to see you wrestle Ronda Rousey at WrestleMania because you’re too stubborn to apologize?” Becky rudely told Charly “that’s none of your damn business.”
WRONG, Becky. Charly’s job is to get answers to the questions we the fans want answered, and that one is on the top of the f*cking list right now, so it very much is Charly’s business. So instead of skulking off, why don’t you turn around, answer the f*cking question, and then add Charly to the list of people you owe apologies to?
Corey Graves said “if I were Becky Lynch, I’d be on my hands and knees, ready to kiss someone’s feet.” And you know that that statement inspired at least one of the Becky/Balor shippers to add that very scene to his or her fanfic.
So we go back to the ring and Nikki Cross’ opponent, Ruby Riott, finally gets her entrance. Time for the match, right? NOPE! Time for a Black History Month video… because why cut to a video package in a place where it would actually make sense to cut to it (like, you know… ANY TIME WHERE IT’S NOT INTERRUPTING A MATCH?!
RUBY RIOTT vs. NIKKI CROSS- 4/10
After the Black History Month video and then a commercial, this match FINALLY started. By the time the bell rang, Nikki Cross had been in the ring for ALMOST SEVEN MINUTES, a mere FORTY-THREE SECONDS of which were her opponent’s entrance.
And ninety seconds into the match and we’re backstage once again, having completely cut away from a match putting a popular new talent against the #1 contender to the Raw Women’s Title because apparently Ronda Rousey is approaching Becky backstage. Ronda tells Becky to stop being selfish so that they can “break ground for women everywhere.” HOW? The only way this match will be ground-breaking is if it’s the main event… and I mean the real, honest to G-d going on last MAIN EVENT… and NO ONE WITH ANY AUTHORITY HAS DECLARED THAT TO BE THE CASE! This is just Ronda being self-important in order to inflate Becky’s ego. And why should Ronda care who she faces? She got her revenge on both Becky and Charlotte by screwing them out of the title at TLC? Why does Ronda care whether she wrestles Becky or Charlotte or someone else? Why couldn’t Ronda vs. Charlotte be a hypothetical main event (that is how the storyline will have to go if Charlotte is getting added in, right?)?
Ronda then calls Becky a coward and leaves.
Oh. Right. The match. It was good for the time it got, but Nikki Cross already doing jobs in less than six minutes is a bad sign. They didn’t have to put Nikki in this spot, but they did. Nattie didn't do anything this week, nor did Dana Brooke (nice to see that angle followed up on, especially when Dana specifically said she wanted a match against Nattie next week), but they put Nikki Cross here instead.
SETH ROLLINS AND PAUL HEYMAN SEGMENT- both guys were great. Rollins’ closing line- that he would be willing to “sell [his] soul to the devil” if it means getting the belt off of Brock Lesnar is a little worrying, though. Do we really need another heel champion?
SETH ROLLINS & DEAN AMBROSE SEGMENT- Dean came out and told Rollins to “slay the beast,” so I guess he’s a babyface now.
IICONICS PROMO- another crappier version of a promo from Smackdown.
DEAN AMBROSE vs. EC III- 2.25/10
The way the announcers were talking about EC III made him seem like a total heel, bragging about his money and saying “he thinks the red carpet should be rolled out for him everywhere he goes.” They had a match that went four minutes. Dean won clean via small package.
ALEXA BLISS! & BECKY LYNCH BACKSTAGE- Alexa encourages Becky not to apologize because to do so would be to not “be true to yourself.” Becky thinks that Alexa is only saying this so that the WrestleMania Raw Women’s Title challenger slot will open up and Alexa wants it for herself. Alexa tells Becky that if she apologizes, fans will only see her as someone who has “sold out.” Becky responds that if she apologizes, then only thing she’ll be selling out is WrestleMania.
This wasn’t a bad segment, but I think it will become problematic because either Becky doesn’t apologize and she has fallen for Alexa’s ploy, or she does apologize and her fickleness once again exposes the stupidity of this angle (although it would at least be a few steps back down the road towards Becky seeming like a reasonable person).
WWE RAW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Chad Gable & Bobby Roode(c) vs. The Revival- 7/10
FINALLY something worth watching! A great tag team match ending with The Revival finally winning the Raw Tag Team Titles!
CHARLY CARUSO INTERVIEWS THE REVIVAL- A good “we just won the titles and we are the best” promo by The Revival.
CLOSING SEGMENT- extremely stupid
Neither Corey Graves nor Renee Young seem to understand that this isn’t about going to the f*cking doctor! It’s about assaulting innocent people! It got the point where Cole had to rather pointedly remind them of this fact, like a teacher forcing a classroom debate back on track. Even worse, Renee doesn’t seem to understand that the purpose of the visit to the doctor was for Becky’s own health and to ensure that Becky was not jeopardizing the very WrestleMania opportunity that Renee has been so adamant that Becky has earned by fighting on an injured leg and putting herself out of action for several months.
Becky still doesn’t believe that the McMahons want her “anywhere near” WrestleMania… except the very fact ance that they’re giving her the chance to apologize (even if, as Ronda suggested to Becky, everyone will know that Becky won’t actually mean it) completely contradicts that very theory. They could have just as easily used her repeated assaults on company officials and violating of her suspension to suspend her until well after WrestleMania, but they didn’t. They didn’t even threaten it!
The fans want Becky to tell Hunter and Steph to “suck it,” so I guess they don’t want to see Becky Lynch vs. Ronda Rousey after all. Becky does finally apologize… and the fans all boo. Becky says no one will take her dream away, they shake hands and “that’s it?” “That’s it. You’re going to WrestleMania.”
Well then… I bet you feel like a f*cking asshole right now, don’t you, Becky?
Hunter and Steph leave, so Becky starts to cut a promo on Ronda, at which point Ronda comes out to confront her…
And then out comes Vince. He says that he doesn’t like Becky’s attitude, so he suspends her for sixty days (i.e. until after WrestleMania) and just replaces her with Charlotte. SO WHY DID I WASTE MY TIME WATCHING THIS F*CKING SHOW, ONLY TO BE PRETTY MUCH BROUGHT RIGHT BACK TO SQUARE ONE AT THE END?!
Shouldn’t Hunter and Steph be running out here to yell “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” at Vince? We know they’re in the building because we just saw them. In fact, we know they’re not more than about forty seconds away! The only explanation for them not coming out here is that this was all an evil plan all along and them and Vince are trying to do some sort of WCW “working the locker room” bullsh*t, but that itself has some problems because 1) if I figured it out in five seconds then the wrestlers should all figure it out pretty quickly, too, so who are they fooling? And 2) if your evil plan is to keep Becky out of the WrestleMania main event, why not just suspend her for attacking company executives and violating her suspension multiple times (Cole even brought up her running in and attacking people on SD house shows over the weekend)? Why would you do something that exposes the truth that you actually are trying to screw her out of the WrestleMania match when the alternative is to leave her sounding like a paranoid lunatic? It’s not like Becky’s apology gets you anything!
Oh yeah. The apology. Becky actually did wind up apologizing, didn’t she? This means that either 1) she took Ronda’s advice and didn’t really mean it, in which case she’s still an unrepentant, violent paranoid sociopath, or 2), she was sincere in her apology and has admitted to the fact that she has in fact been acting like a paranoid lunatic for the past eight days, which makes you wonder why WWE would even do this angle in the first place?! And no, just because it turned out that at least one McMahon actually was out to get her does not excuse Becky’s behavior in the slightest, because she was still acting (and acting violently) on ZERO EVIDENCE. Just because it turns out that someone actually is out to get you doesn’t mean you’re not paranoid.
This was a horrendous episode of Raw. Things picked up a little bit in the third hour, but on the whole this show was stupid piled on top of stupid and filler piled on top of filler.
And on a go-home show, no less! The PPV is in six days, and I can only name six matches (two Elimination Chambers, Ronda vs. Ruby, Miz & Shane vs. Usos, Cruiserweight Title, IC Title). I assume Rey vs. Almas will be added by SD, so that’s seven, and I don’t think they even have anyone left to challenge Asuka at this point because everyone is in the Elimination Chamber, so that’s seven matches. I know I probably shouldn’t be complaining about a WWE show that doesn’t seem like it’s going to go six hours, but when Drew McIntyre, Kurt Angle, Seth Rollins, Braun Strowman, Asuka, Alexa Bliss!, Dean Ambrose, New Day, Dolph Ziggler, and other people you’ve told me over the course of this year are at least the tippy-top of the midcard if not main event level players all aren’t on the show it makes the show feel half-assed and small.
This show SUCKED, and the fact that people get paid to do such a f*cking horrendous job (and I’m including Vince in here, too) at something I dream of doing for a living REALLY PISSES ME OFF.
