BRM Reviews the 9/7/2020 Raw (HORRIBLE!)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 9/7/2020 Raw (HORRIBLE!)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 8th, '20, 22:59

OPENING SEGMENT- bad
Randy Orton is annoyed at having to face Keith Lee again. He then goes on to talk about Drew McIntyre. He thinks that if Drew can’t make it to Clash of Champions, he should just hand Randy the belt via forfeit. Obviously that’s not what we want, but he does have a solid argument.
Randy was interrupted by Scott Steiner’s music playing. At least that’s what I assume it is, because for us to be able to hear the siren of an approaching ambulance in the middle of the ring would be stupid.
Oh. Right. This is WWE, and stupid is par for the course. Yeah. Drew drove an ambulance all the way to the stage. Where did Drew McIntyre get an ambulance? And why is he driving with his lights and sirens on when there is no emergency. I’m pretty sure that’s a crime.
Drew runs down to the ring and nails Orton with the Claymore. Well… so much for the idea of Drew not being able to make it to the PPV, I guess. In two weeks we’ve gone from injuries that were “career-threatening or worse” to “may not make it to the PPV” to “is able to kick Randy Orton’s ass in three seconds.” Wow. Why even do the f*cking angle at that point? Either that or WWE’s doctors are morons.
Drew starts to beat on Randy, but within moments we’ve got a whole swarm of referees there to pull him off. Remember three days ago when Bayley was beating the sh*t out of Sasha’s for about five minutes and no referees came out, even when Bayley went to PILLMANIZE SASHA’S NECK?! I guess I should be happy that WWE has learned something, but I’m guessing that’s not the case.

THE HURT BUSINESS ARRIVE AT THE ARENA- bad
MVP claims a janitor said something about Shelton Benjamin’s mother, so they attack the poor man.
This is the sort of segment that drives me nuts because it serves no purpose and has no consequences. Like with Lance Archer randomly assaulting people in AEW, he should get in trouble for it but never does which makes the company look like they don’t give a sh*t about their employees who aren’t big stars, and it doesn’t add anything to the show because we already know that Archer and the Hurt Business are bad, mean people.

ADAM PEARCE EJECTS DREW MCINTYRE FROM THE BUILDING-
Okay… that security guard looks f*cking demented.
Pearce sends Drew home because Drew wasn’t even supposed to be here tonight. Well then how did he get a f*cking ambulance into the building? And if the answer is that Drew forced his way in using the ambulance as a battering ram then f*cking say so!
Drew says that he made his point, which is that he will defend the title with a broken jaw or not, so he’s okay doing as he’s told and leaving.

THE HURT BUSINESS vs. APOLLO CREWS, CEDRIC ALEXANDER, & RICOCHET- no rating, dull segment
Because G-d forbid these people actually wrestle someone else. The Hurt Business jumped Cedric from behind on his way to the ring.
Byron put over the babyfaces for having loyalty and friendship, at which point even Cole had to point out the heels have the same thing.
The match went for a few minutes until Cedric turned on his teammates because he’s tired of the heels kicking his ass every week. This was a fine example of a moment that could have meant something if they hadn’t made me so G-d damn sick and tired of this feud by booking these guys against each other week after week after week after week and week with nothing moving forward.
Speaking of feuds I’m sick and tired of, we’re getting Dominik Mysterio vs. Buddy Murphy tonight. And speaking of other feuds I’m sick and tired of, the next match was…

THE STREET PROFITS vs. ANDRADE “CIEN” ALMAS & ANGEL GARZA (w/Zelina Vega)- no rating, bad segment
You’ll never guess what happened: The babyfaces won because the heels argued with each other. This is at least the 8,559th time that has happened with these heels, so why should I think anything will come of their argument this time, either?
In the past eight weeks (including tonight) these teams have faced off in either singles or tag team action NINE TIMES. Four of them have been tag matches, including the three times they have faced off in the past fifteen days alone. The Street Profits have won all but one of the tag matches. The only one they didn’t win was last week’s no contest. In total, the babyfaces have won six of them, we’ve had two no contests, and the heels only win came in a match where they POISONED the babyface. Why would any fan have any interest in seeing this match?

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
Cesaro & Nakamura show up. Michael Cole screams “IS THIS ALL PART OF THE BRAND TO BRAND INVIVTATIONAL?!”
1. If I ever meet Michael Cole in person, I’m going to scream that in this face, just to make sure he knows how f*cking annoying he is.
2. I will admit that I was impressed that they actually remembered that this was a thing.
3. I was going to yell “DUH!” but then I realized that people show up on the other show all the time with no explanation, so I guess it’s technically a fair question for him to ask.
4. Hey, remember that big thing they pushed for three weeks and then never mentioned again? We’re supposed to be excited for it now, apparently. If it was so damn exciting, how come they stopped doing it after three weeks?
5. According to Cesaro’s promo, it’s now a “quarterly brand-to-brand invitational,” which seems like it’s a change of the rules from four times a year to once a quarter. It would be nice if they had told us about this rule change instead of having someone come out and act like it has been that way all along.
Cesaro challenged the Street Profits to a match next week. If you can only show up once per quarter now, how are they going to be on Raw next week if they were on Raw this week? And if I’m wrong about the change and Cesaro just misspoke, then why did these idiots waste one of their four chances to show up on the other show simply to make a challenge that they could have done via Twitter or by cutting a promo on Smackdown?
I’m sorry but I have no interest in this. Maybe I’m being unfair, but my mindset on this is as follows:
The end result of this is going to be a non-finish. Maybe it will happen next week and maybe not, but at the PPV, we’ll definitely get one. And yes, I’m certain these teams will be facing off at the PPV because as we’ve been told over and over and over and over again, this PPV is “the one night of the year when all of the championships in WWE are on the line.” Now factor in the fact that they have been keeping the PPVs short since about February, and you run into a problem where you’re going to have too many matches if you have every title be separate, so you stick the tag champs together, and if both titles are on the line, we’re going to get a f*ck finish. And what’s even worse is that the whole problem is self-made because there is absolutely no reason that all of the titles have to be on the line other than their obsessive need to come up with some phrase to repeat at us ad nauseam (often literally) for every PPV.

They’re advertising Kevin Owens vs. Aleister Black for Raw Undegeround. Remember last week then they advertised a grudge match for Raw Underground but then didn’t deliver it?

R-TRUTH IS AT A RESTAURANT- Yeah… I’m just going to fast forward through this.

PEYTON ROYCE vs. BILLY KAY- 2/10
Wow… so first we get a “losing team must break up” stip with about an hour’s worth of build. Peyton turns on Billy later that night, and now, the next week, you’re giving away their first match against each other with one commercial break’s worth of notice. They’re not even getting to cut promos on each other. Did Billie Kay hit one of Hunter & Steph’s kids with her car or something? They’re not even trying to get anything out of this.
Now the announcers are talking about how strange it is that they’re break-up hasn’t been emotional. And they’re not wrong. Billie is just doing a posing routine and doesn’t seem at all angry at Peyton for throwing her to the wolves (er… horses) last week.
We start off with headscissors and basic stuff like that. And then, after a spot or two, THEN they start shouting at each other and slapping each other, and with nothing that seems to have made them transition between “nice, polite wrestling match” and angry slap-fest.
Peyton won a short match with that suplex dropped into a spinning neckbreaker. This is the first match I’ve actually rated tonight. They hugged after the match, and holy sh*t Peyton didn’t attack Billie!

CHARLY CARUSO INTERVIEWS THE MYSTERIOS- You know what? F*ck it. I’m skipping this. I can’t possibly imagine what they could have to say that is new at this point. Murphy interrupted them from the TitanTron and said something. I skipped it. Again, I can’t possibly imagine anyone saying anything new or interesting at this point.

ADAM PEARCE TALK TO NIA JAX & SHAYNA BASZLER- We only heard a snipped of the conversation, but from what we saw, it seems to me that Pearce is only now telling them that both of them will be having handicap matches against the Riott Squad tonight. This is a match that they have already advertised on the air… and they haven’t told the wrestlers yet. Wow.

SUDDENLY, DREW MCINTYRE WALKS BY- Pearce runs up to him and asks him why he’s still here. He claims that he forgot his phone in the ambulance, but now that he has it, he can leave. Pearce bought it.

MICKIE JAMES & ASUKA vs. NATALYA & LANA- 2.5/10
You did an angle last week that should have led to this tag match but instead you did a singles match last week, and now you’re coming back to the tag match? If you were going ton do the tag match this week, why did you do a match at all last week? All you did was make the heels look weaker coming into this match by having Lana lose cleanly to Mickie in three minutes.
Mickie is getting a title shot on TV next week. Mickie was the only person in this match who didn’t get her entrance shown. Way to go, WWE.
The announcers are talking about how Mickie had this surgery and it “changed her outlook” on things made her realize that she has to make the most the time she has left. This is the sort of sh*t that I should be hearing from Mickie in a promo right when she comes back. You’re supposed to give us a reason to want to see her in a title match before you book the title match.
The finish saw Mickie have Lana down and go tot the top rope but Asuka tagged herself in and went for the Asuka Lock to steal the win. Mickie was a good sport about it and ran over to stop Nattie from breaking the submission up. Do they really think Asuka is a babyface? Mickie yelled at Asuka after the match. I really want to see Mickie knock Asuka flat on her ass.

THE HURT BUSINESS & CEDRIC ALEXANDER BACKSTAGE- meh
Shelton is skeptical that Cedric is really on their side, and tells Cedric such. I don’t think anyone was thinking this, so if this actually does turn out to be the case, all they will have done is planted the idea in the minds of the very people who they don’t want thinking about it.

THE VIP LOUNGE WITH SPECIAL GUEST CEDRIC ALEXANDER- good while it lasted… which wasn’t very long
Cedric gives exactly the reasons you’d expect for turning. Then Apollo Crews, Ricochet… and also the Viking Raiders for some reason… charged the ring and started a brawl. When we returned from a commercial break, the brawl had turned into…

APOLLO CREWS, RICOCHET, & THE VIKING RAIDERS vs. THE HURT BUSINESS (MVP, Bobby Lashley, Shelton Benjamin, & Cedric Alexander)- 4.5/10
It has been AT MOST an hour since Cedric turned, and you’re already booking matches? Really?
Byron said that he loved how Cedric turning hasn’t hurt the psyche of the babyfaces… at which point Cole said essentially “actually, Byron, we don’t know that.” That made me laugh.
The story here was Cedric being a dick. Ivar hurt himself on a dive. Moments later, Cedric hit a Michinoku Driver and pinned Ricochet. Ricochet clearly kicked out but the ref just kept counting. Okay, Ivar is hurt, but you don’t have to stop the match. If he’s involved in the planned finish, do a different finish.

CHARLY CARUSO INTERVIEWS DREW MCINTYRE, WHO IS STILL F*CKING HERE- Now he’s claiming he “grabbed the wrong phone.” How dumb do they want Pearce to look?
Also, do they really think fans will think Drew hanging around is a good thing? All it means is that he’s going to attack Orton again, so they’re telegraphing a f*ck finish. And not just any f*ck finish, but the same f*ck finish they gave us in this same match two weeks ago!

KEVIN OWENS ARRIVES AT RAW UNDERGROUND- He is a jerk to Shane, but it’s justified because it’s Shane McMahon.

RANDY ORTON vs. KEITH LEE- 5/10
And yup… same finish as two weeks ago. We even had Drew run in after Orton had hit Lee with an RKO.
Cole referred to Drew has the “resilient, persistent, tenacious WWE Champion.” I’m going to mail a stinkbomb to whoever bought Cole that thesaurus.


RAW UNDERGROUND FIGHT: Aleister Black vs. Some Jobber- DUD!
Shane says that “we’re still awaiting Kevin Owens.” Dude… we saw him walk in like twenty minutes ago!
Aleister wins the fight… and moments later, Kevin Owens shows up. You couldn’t have just started with Owens vs. Aleister? All this does is make it look like you can’t keep track of your own continuity.

RAW UNDERGROUND FIGHT: Kevin Owens vs. Aleister Black- ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?
They fought for a minute or so, then took a spill to the outside. Owens hit a power move, at which point we went to commercial, and when we came back we were looking at…

RANDY ORTON YELLS AT ADAM PEARCE- He’s angry because he got attacked by someone who had been ejected from the building. Randy is perfectly justified in his anger.

HANDICAP MATCH: The Riott Squad vs. Shayna Baszler (w/Nia Jax)- 0.75/10
These handicap matches were set up via off-screen comments by Nia Jax. You’ve got three weeks until the PPV! Have Nia make her comments this week, then do the matches week! Or, even better, do one match next week and the other match the week after that!
Also, we’ve got a handicap match where the babyfaces have the advantage?
Cole claimed that Liv Morgan is “one of the most underrated individuals in WWE today, according to many.” That’s just a lie. I don’t for one moment believe that there are enough people in the world who believe this for it to qualify as “many.” It’s a handful a most, and I’d bet that most of them are related to Liv Morgan.

Stuff happened. Then Nia Jax distracted Shayna, allowing LIV MORGAN to beat SHAYNA BASZLER.
Cole tells us that Nia’s handicap match is up next, so of course when we return from our commercial break, we see…

RAW UNDERGROUND FIGHT: Kevin Owens vs. Aleister Black- ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?
They’re still going, so why the f*ck didn’t we stick with the match?! Also, I believe that this is now the longest fight in Raw Underground history by several miles. Have any other matches even gone two minutes?
They do more stuff, then spill to the outside again… where some dorks on the outside attack them for no reason and get beaten down. Shane starts insisting that we need to get Owens and Aleister back in the ring. Well, Shane, if you want these guys to stay in the ring, maybe PUT UP SOME F*CKING ROPES!
Then we cut to…

HANDICAP MATCH: The Riott Squad vs. Nia Jax (w/Shayna Baszler)- 2/10
Apparently these women were waiting patiently for the camera to be back on them. They have to be doing this on purpose at this point, right? They’re making the show make no sense in all of these stupid little ways just to piss me off. That has to be it. No one can possibly be this incompetent.
Everyone in the Thunderdome got sick of watching this and shut off their screens at the same time.
Wait. No. It’s Retribution showing up. Snore.
They’re speaking from the Tron… I think. It’s too dark to tell. Yes, speaking. They say the following:
Member 1: This ThunderDome is only a façade. Behind this mountain of screens is the same foundation. The same WWE as before. The same behemoth who disbanded and disowned us, leaving us to survive in an unfair world, where the powerful continue to grow while we are left to feed on nothing but the scraps of contempt.”
Member 2: But contempt is a powerful motivator. WE are driven to destroy- to lay waste- to every Superstar™ and every fan. Blinded, you cannot see what you do not have. So the locusts of contempt will feed upon all of you. The darkness of Retribution will seep into the pores of every Superstar™ and all of your so-called Universe™. WE are Retribution.”
Oh goody. More Bray Wyatts.

If this is their mission, they f*cking suck at it, as they really haven’t taken advantage of the many opportunities they have had to do such things. How often have even interacted with actual wrestlers? ONCE, I think (that pointless brawl on the SummerSlam go-home Smackdown)?
Of course we cut to a commercial after this dramatic moment, and when we came back, the women were not in the ring, so that match had no finish.

ANOTHER INTERVIEW WITH THE MYSTERIO FAMILY- snore
Apparently Murphy made “cryptic comments” about Rey’s family. Yeah, yeah. We already know. Dominik isn’t really Rey’s son.

RAW UNDERGROUND FIGHT: Kevin Owens vs. Aleister Black- F*CK OFF!
Okay… at this point this has to be one of the longest matches in the history of Raw, right?
They wind up on the outside again and Babatunde (sorry, I forgot his new name) trips Owens up on his way into the ring, and then beats them both up. So we wasted time with all of that bullsh*t just to do a double DQ due to a run-in by someone with no reason to attack either guy.

CHARLY CARUSO INTERIVEWS RANDY ORTON- Drew McIntyre attacks him AGAIN
Well… Adam Pearce is an incompetent moron who deserves to be fired. I’m sorry, but why is Drew so angry? Yeah, Randy attacked him and broke his jaw, but he only missed a week, and seems perfectly fine right now. To keep coming back like this feels completely out of proportion to the injury.
Randy got taken to the hospital in an ambulance. That’s the third person we’ve seen sent to the hospital in two shows!

STREET FIGHT: Buddy Murphy vs. Dominik Mysterio (w/the Mysterio Family)- 6/10
ALL of the Mysterios are at ringside, holding Kendo sticks. Murphy, meanwhile, bravely charges at Dominik unarmed. This is backwards. Even better, Murphy immediately knocks Dominik down and starts to beat the sh*t out of him even though Dominik had a weapon and Murphy didn’t.
Murphy got distracted by the Mysterios, allowing Dominik to take over. Dominik jumped off the first row of screens onto Murphy. That was kind of cool. Stuff happened. Murphy got the advantage and had Dominik trapped in the ropes all fair and square. Rey interfered by taking a Kendo stick away from him. Then Dominik’s mother and sister got involved by untangling Dominik from the ropes. Dominik hit Murphy with a sliding Sunset Slip Powerbomb through a table, then hit the Frog Splash for the win. Okay, so he’s got his revenge and that’s the end, right?
NOPE! The Mysterios trapped Murphy in the ropes and hit him with Kendo sticks, then the whole vicious gang of them beat the sh*t out of poor Murphy with Kendo sticks while Murphy could barely protect himself. WHAT A BUNCH OF HEELS!


This has to be up there in terms of the worst Raws of all time. I know I’ve said that a lot recently but I have meant it every time. I can’t call this one a new low, but it was definitely a different low. There was a lot of dumb stuff, a bunch of sh*tty finishes, an no good wrestling, but my big takeaway from this show was all of the little stuff that managed to go so wrong. It was the sort of show that makes you wonder just how incompetent people can be. A lot of shows of guilty of being stupid through their ambition AEW, TNA, and often WWE fit into this category (although WWE can also often be just plain lazy). As much as I hate ambitious stupidity, you have to give them credit for at least trying. This felt like a show put together by people who just didn’t give a sh*t.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Serujuunin
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/7/2020 Raw (HORRIBLE!)

Post by Serujuunin » Sep 9th, '20, 13:29

Wow... I’m not sorry I haven’t been watching RAW or Smackdown lately... even the things I used to care about (McIntyre, Lee, etc.), they’ve ruined so much I don’t even care anymore.

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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/7/2020 Raw (HORRIBLE!)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 9th, '20, 13:46

Serujuunin wrote:
Sep 9th, '20, 13:29
Wow... I’m not sorry I haven’t been watching RAW or Smackdown lately... even the things I used to care about (McIntyre, Lee, etc.), they’ve ruined so much I don’t even care anymore.
Right. There was soooo much promise earlier in the year, and they've killed all with this repetitive bullsh*t.
I will say that Smackdown is often decent enough to be worth watching, and now that Roman is back and a heel, Zayn is back, and Bayley has turned on Sasha, we'll at least be getting some new dynamics.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
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DGUSA Open the Northern Gate
CHIKARA Hot Off the Griddle

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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/7/2020 Raw (HORRIBLE!)

Post by Serujuunin » Sep 9th, '20, 18:16

Big Red Machine wrote:
Sep 9th, '20, 13:46
Serujuunin wrote:
Sep 9th, '20, 13:29
Wow... I’m not sorry I haven’t been watching RAW or Smackdown lately... even the things I used to care about (McIntyre, Lee, etc.), they’ve ruined so much I don’t even care anymore.
Right. There was soooo much promise earlier in the year, and they've killed all with this repetitive bullsh*t.
I will say that Smackdown is often decent enough to be worth watching, and now that Roman is back and a heel, Zayn is back, and Bayley has turned on Sasha, we'll at least be getting some new dynamics.
I’m interested in finding out how these new dynamics work, but they’ve honestly killed Sasha and Bayley for me. I can’t care anymore. I had a passing interest that they split up and that’s about it.

I’m hoping that heel Roman will be interesting enough to coerce me back.

RAW has far more work to do in that regard.

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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/7/2020 Raw (HORRIBLE!)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 9th, '20, 19:41

Serujuunin wrote:
Sep 9th, '20, 18:16
Big Red Machine wrote:
Sep 9th, '20, 13:46
Serujuunin wrote:
Sep 9th, '20, 13:29
Wow... I’m not sorry I haven’t been watching RAW or Smackdown lately... even the things I used to care about (McIntyre, Lee, etc.), they’ve ruined so much I don’t even care anymore.
Right. There was soooo much promise earlier in the year, and they've killed all with this repetitive bullsh*t.
I will say that Smackdown is often decent enough to be worth watching, and now that Roman is back and a heel, Zayn is back, and Bayley has turned on Sasha, we'll at least be getting some new dynamics.
I’m interested in finding out how these new dynamics work, but they’ve honestly killed Sasha and Bayley for me. I can’t care anymore. I had a passing interest that they split up and that’s about it.

I'm in that spot, too. It's not so much that I care that they're feuding with each other as it is that they're no longer feuding with Asuka or Nikki Cross.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/7/2020 Raw (HORRIBLE!)

Post by XIV » Sep 10th, '20, 07:03

These guys have been trading kendo stick bullshit for weeks. . .
But Murphy took 86 kendo stick shots.
86.
By an entire family, whilst tied in the ropes with no assistance.

The Mysterios aren’t the babyfaces now right?
Have A Nice Day!

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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/7/2020 Raw (HORRIBLE!)

Post by Serujuunin » Sep 10th, '20, 21:27

XIV wrote:
Sep 10th, '20, 07:03
These guys have been trading kendo stick bullshit for weeks. . .
But Murphy took 86 kendo stick shots.
86.
By an entire family, whilst tied in the ropes with no assistance.

The Mysterios aren’t the babyfaces now right?
No one is a babyface anymore, because I want them all off my TV.

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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/7/2020 Raw (HORRIBLE!)

Post by Serujuunin » Sep 10th, '20, 21:28

Big Red Machine wrote:
Sep 9th, '20, 19:41
Serujuunin wrote:
Sep 9th, '20, 18:16
Big Red Machine wrote:
Sep 9th, '20, 13:46


Right. There was soooo much promise earlier in the year, and they've killed all with this repetitive bullsh*t.
I will say that Smackdown is often decent enough to be worth watching, and now that Roman is back and a heel, Zayn is back, and Bayley has turned on Sasha, we'll at least be getting some new dynamics.
I’m interested in finding out how these new dynamics work, but they’ve honestly killed Sasha and Bayley for me. I can’t care anymore. I had a passing interest that they split up and that’s about it.

I'm in that spot, too. It's not so much that I care that they're feuding with each other as it is that they're no longer feuding with Asuka or Nikki Cross.
Fair, I appreciate that.

I may check out what is happening in a few weeks and see what kind of dynamic the feud has, and if it's something different, maybe I'll start paying attention. But if it's the same old crap, just with Sasha and Bayley switching roles, then I don't care.

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